by Ashley Beale
She sings twinkle, twinkle, little star to me in a soft, hushed voice. I hum out the lyrics the second time around, and by the third time around, we're both falling hopelessly asleep. I'm thankful I'm able to comfort her, because she evidently needs that. I just pray that doesn't lead to punishment for either one of us in the long run.
Days pass without any sign of Roman, Blaise, or even Javier. Routine is something easy enough to fall into. Basically an early lunch, an early supper, and free time all in between. Without the nutrients my body craves, I'm constantly exhausted and find myself sleeping far too much.
I still haven't seen Clarissa either. I haven't exactly asked around either.
Lizzie keeps her distant, adding in snarky remarks now and again. Opal, Mia, and I have been inseparable. I've learned a lot about the two of them, even Opal who isn't able to speak, but manages to tell us stories with her expression and hands.
I don't mention much about myself, mainly because I don't want to slip up somewhere and let everyone know that I brought myself here, or that I'm looking for Clarissa, or that I was in a faux-relationship with Blaise. I manage to tell them how I have a sibling though, and I live with just my father. I also talk a little about school, because they're both completely interested in the fact that I've been to college, even if my time there was completely limited.
Making friends and sleeping both my days and nights away hasn't made missing my father any easier. I have had several small panic attacks over what he must be thinking about my disappearance. I know it hasn't been easy on him, which makes this entire situation even worse. I know that if I hadn't turned myself in though, things would've been worse, either for me or for my dad himself, so I don't regret saving him. I also don't regret coming to save Clarissa, even if it means being in these conditions.
Mia sits behind me, playing with my greasy hair while I tell her and Opal about my first kiss. Apparently neither of them got to experience their first actual boyfriend, which breaks my heart. Mia told me she wants to live vicariously through me in the meantime of getting home- if she ever gets there- so I continue with my story.
Lizzie swings back the curtain and storms into the room. Our other roommate, whose name is Regina, walks in behind her spewing out swears in Spanish. Lizzie slams herself down on her mat and ignores everything Regina is saying to her. Regina leans down and calls her a few choice words, making me want to laugh.
I like Regina enough. She doesn't speak English well though, and I'm still pretending I know nothing in Spanish, so because of that, we haven't had much of a chance to actually talk. She doesn't put up with Lizzie's crude behavior though, and she mainly sleeps like I do. Sometimes I know she tries desperately to hear the conversations I have with Opal and Mia, but she doesn't ever attempt to join in.
Lizzie puckers her lips to Regina, almost as if she is ready to punch her. She doesn't have many friends here, which is a shame if she plans to never escape. Regina kicks Lizzie's knee cap and walks away to her own mat, laying down while mumbling things. She looks over to us, then turns, pulling her blankets to cover her face.
I look to Lizzie and raise a brow. "Making more enemies?" I ask.
"Shut up," she responds hastily.
"What did you do this time?"
With a slit of her eyes, Lizzie does the same as Regina, turning from us as she lays down. Her head gets covered, and I can hear her sing a few lyrics out loud of a song that was popular in America just a few months back. She definitely hasn't been here long.
When everyone starts to rush down the hall for supper, the three of us get up and join the crazed mess in the hall. Not even a few steps away, I hear my name being hissed out. I quickly turn, causing someone to trip over my leg. I don't have time to apologize as I go against the crowd to hug the one person I have been looking for.
"Clarissa," I call to her.
Her face wrinkles in confusion as I get close to her. "Are you really here?" She reaches up and touches my face. Her hands are cold, and they're brittle like an old ladys. Being here has done horrible things to her.
"I'm here, Clarissa. I'm here." I pull her into my embrace, holding her close to me. "I'm so sorry," I whisper. "So sorry."
Her arms come around and hold me to her, but I can feel the weakness in them. "I thought I saw you," she said. "I swore I did. Then I didn't. I thought I was wrong. I was imagining you. Why are you here? Did he take you, too?"
I let her get all her concerns out in the open before I pull back and look her directly in the face. Her eyes have faded from color, causing her to look like a ghost of herself. I hate it, so much. Knowing she is here suffering, and seeing the actual results, are two very different things! I'm never going to get this picture out of my head.
"I can't talk about it all right now. I have so much to tell you, but not here. Okay?"
It takes her a few minutes before nodding her head. "I'm hungry," she tells me.
"Sit with me?"
With a small smile, she nods, and together we walk down the hall. A million things go through my mind, between apologies, and questions, and concerns. So many things I want to say, I just can't. Each time something comes to mind, I decide it's not the time to say it right now. It doesn't seem right, yet again, I feel as though I owe her some kind of explanation as to why I'm here. I want to tell her my plans to escape... something.
By the time we get into the room for dinner, nothing has left my mouth. We both walk up and grab the plastic trays, then Clarissa follows me over to where Opal and Mia are sitting. She sits with me, but I can see the hesitation of sitting with other people.
"This is Clarissa," I tell my new friends. "This is Opal, and this is Mia."
Clarissa doesn't even smile at the girls. Opal gives a quick wave before digging into the "soup" we got served. Mia smirks proudly, while telling Clarissa it was nice to meet her. There is no response back. It breaks my heart. Clarissa is someone with so much spunk in life that she can make friends with absolutely anyone at any given time. Even that has been taken from her, and I have no idea if she'll ever get it back.
I'm not sure the building guilt will ever cease.
"How do you know each other?" Mia asks innocently enough. Curiosity seems to be one of her best friends, as she is always asking questions and pushing into everyone's business. I believe it's because she is so lost and confused about her own life. One day though, it's going to get in her trouble. I've warned her of it before, but she completely ignores my concerns.
Clarissa peeks over at her and raises one of her eyebrows, but she doesn't say anything. I'm not sure how much to say. I want to be honest with Mia, about everything, but I know it could cause trouble for a lot more people than just myself.
"We just do," I tell her.
Mia leans in towards me and loudly whispers, "She reminds me of Lizzie." Her face pinches in disgust.
Clarissa sighs heavily. "I see you made a lot of friends while you've been here."
"What? No. I mean, yeah, Mia and Opal. We met this week." Clarissa gives me a snarky look, confusing me. I feel like she is actually mad that I've befriended a couple of girls. I would think she'd be impressed with me, and glad she had two more people on our side of this war.
"Are you... mad?" I ask cautiously.
Her lips lift into a sarcastically sweet smile, and I can hear the anger laced in her voice when she speaks. "No. Of course not."
"I don't like her," Mia hisses to Opal, loud enough for Clarissa to hear. This isn't working out well, not at all.
I can't have Clarissa angry with me, even if she has every single right to be. I need to get us out of here... together. If she is mad at me, it's going to make it harder. She can be as angry as she needs to be once we're gone, but until then, she can't be. I won't allow her to be. Except, I can't hurt Mia and Opal. I just can't. They depend on me. I feel like their mother hen.
My heart constricts with conflict. I wish I could shake Clarissa and tell her, Stop this, right now! This isn't a game, and I'm
going to lose you forever if you don't just stop this! But I can't, and honestly, it probably wouldn't make much of a difference.
Clarissa sets down her tray. "I'm not hungry." Then she leans against the cement wall, crossing her arms again her chest, and closing her eyes.
I look at her closely for a minute before I say anything to her. The amount of weight she has lost in such little time is disgusting. She has aged before my eyes. I can only imagine she hasn't been eating anything at all, and probably sleeps more than I do. It would explain the added anger. I need to coax her into eating and relaxing. I need to discuss making plans with her for getting away from here.
"What room are you in?"
She shrugs her shoulders.
"You don't know which room is yours?"
The room starts to stand, some making their way towards the bathroom, others back to their rooms. If we don't get back to our rooms before too long, it'll be too dark. Without electricity in the rooms or hallways, it gets dark fast.
Clarissa stands at the sound of everyone else, so I quickly do too. "Can I follow you to your room?"
"You're minions may not like that," she spits out.
"Stop it," I tell her. "Please. Let me follow you. I want to know where you are sleeping."
She turns to look at me, tears brimming in her eyes. "Fine."
I look down to Mia and Opal who aren't hiding their curiosity. "I'll see you later tonight."
Opal continues to stare while Mia gives me a typical snarky teenage look. At least she hasn't lost the sense of how old she is, and the natural attitude she is supposed to give people. I smile at them before walking after Clarissa, dumping my tray on the way out the door.
In the hallway, I pull on Clarissa's arm to slow her down. There are no doors around, and no people close enough to hear me. "I'm here to save you. Please, can we get along until we get out of here?"
"So you're here to mock the rest of us?"
"No. Not at all! I turned myself in to Blaise, so that I could come save you."
"He isn't dumb, Liv. He knows that'll be your plan. You don't think he has thought of every way possible to make sure it doesn't happen. One of us may get out of here, but I can promise you, we both won't. And if you want to bring your new pals along, that is only going to make things harder."
"I can't tell you my plan, because honestly I don't even have any yet. But what I do know, is you’re my first priority, then I'll worry about everyone else. I want to save you, Clarissa. I will do anything."
She grinds her jaw for a minute, staring me deadly in the eyes. "I came here to save you, Liv. Don't you understand that? I would do anything to save you. And you purposely give yourself up! I've gone through torture for nothing now. And you don't even have the decency to find me when you get here. Figure out your plans, whether they involve me or not, but don't ask me to fall into your new clique."
Clarissa quickly turns and walks down the hall, leaving me behind dumbfounded. Is she saying that she turned herself in to Blaise as well? For... me? That... that doesn't make sense. And the fucking bastard keeps winning. She is right, he is one smart little fuck.
I swear on everything that is holy, that I will kill him.
"Bring the firecracker." Those words awaken me, as I hear them growled from behind my curtain.
It swings open and two men look down at me with smirks. "You're wanted."
Mia holds onto me with a tense body. Her eyes remain closed, but I know she isn't sleeping. She doesn't want to be taken, but thankfully she's not.
I am.
I pull myself out of her embrace, treating her as though she is indeed sleeping. When I stand up, I notice Lizzie staring at me, sympathy on her face. The first time I've seen her actually feel bad for someone other than herself.
I walk through the curtain with the two men and am greeted with Javier in the hallway. There are three other girls with him.
He lifts the side of his face in a smile, revealing his shiny gold tooth. "It's a shame to see you in such rags. With curves like yours, you should always be naked."
I don't say anything, nor do I smile. Javier laughs after a minute of awkward silence. "The firecracker has no more words for me, I see. Why is it that you're so shy around me? From what Blaise tells me, you're quite the feisty delight. I think tonight is for me and you finally."
Many words come to mind of what I want to tell him, but I know each one will get me punished, even if it's just something to defend myself. I choose to say nothing, which still doesn't seem to please Javier any.
"So when is it that you're going to tell me it's nice to see me again, too?"
Using all my willpower, I say softly, "It's good to see you again, Javier."
His smile spreads. "I like when you say my name." His fingers caress my lips like he had done the first time I met him. "Tell me how much you want to suck my cock with these luscious lips of yours."
My jaw starts to shake, and I force myself with all the resolve I have not to start crying. "I can't wait to suck... your... cock." The words are hard to say, but I manage somehow.
Javier slides his hand behind my neck, squeezing so hard that I have no choice but to look him directly in the face. His eyes harden. I didn't impress him with my response, that much is obvious. "Tell me again, and make me believe it," he warns.
"I can't wait... to have your cock... inside my mouth." I take a deep breath and force the smallest of smiles, hoping he believes it, even just a little bit.
His lips turn back into a smirk. "Beg me."
"To... to suck you?"
"Yes," he says with a thrill inside those dark eyes of his. This man creeps me out more and more each time he speaks. "Beg me to suck my dick. Tell me how much you want it. How much you need it. Make me hard with your words, Firecracker."
With a deep inhale, I manage to mutter the pleading words that repulse me like no other. "Can I please go down on you, Javier? It'd be an honor if you allowed me to suck you off."
"Fuck," he hisses. He pulls my neck forward, keeping it a mere inch from his mouth. "Of course you can. You can do anything you want to me." His lips press against the side of my mouth, and as he pulls away, he whispers against my crawling skin. "But we need to wait until we're in private. I don't want everyone to see your incredible skills."
A small amount of relief leaves me, knowing that I don't have to do something so unsettling right now, in front of everyone. I hope it's nothing I have to do today at all.
We all continue down the hall, collecting girls behind several different curtains. We even walk up a set of stairs to the next level, where I didn't even know there were girls. When we arrive to the very last curtain, Clarissa walks out from behind it. Javier laughs hard when she looks in my direction.
"Two best friends… reunited. Maybe tonight I'll have to see if what they say about college best friends is in fact true. Two sweet, tight pussies, both making me come. Tonight is going to be fucking incredible."
Everything in my body tenses. The thought of doing anything with him is repulsive... the thought of Clarissa doing anything to him, makes me want to steal his guard’s gun and put it to his vile, twisted head.
Once all the females he requested are collected, we're tied together with a thick rope at the wrists. We stand in the first hallway near the entrance, one in front of the other, unable to move too much. My wrists burn each time one of the girls move even in the slightest.
The main entrance opens and Roman appears. I swear the girls in front of me stand a little taller seeing him. He eyes us curiously before turning to speak with Javier, using mainly Spanish. Their words are too hushed; I can't actually hear anything that they say to one another.
Javier walks out the door, leaving Roman and the two bodyguards with us. "Get them in the van," he orders the guards. One goes to the front of the line, the other to the rear, and as they start to walk, our line of tied together females follow.
Once we're in the van, one of the guards comes in and sits in the ba
ck, watching us closely. Not that any of us can escape being attached to each other the way we are. The two front doors slam shut, and I hear Roman's voice calling an order out to whomever is sitting with him.
There are no windows, but there is a small vent in the front, casting a light over us now and again. The ride is bumpy, causing pulling and tugging of the rope. Each time it burns worse than the last, and by the time the truck comes to a stop, I'm nearly certain I'm bleeding.
No one speaks but everyone prepares to stand. I have no choice but to stand with them all. It's obvious they're all far too used to this routine. The back doors open, showing the other guard. The guard who sat with us jumps out, and the two of them give us the go to start exiting the van. It's harder getting out of the van than it was getting in, that much is certain.
We walk over the hot ground, covered in rocks and stones. I've gotten used to walking on the dirty concrete floors where we're staying, but walking over the burning hot ground that slowly cuts at my feet is not something I want to have to get used to. It's just another way of torturing us all.
We're outside a home that is falling apart. The roof looks to be caving in, the windows are covered by wooden boards, and grass around the home is nearly three feet tall. There isn't another building in site. Roman opens the front door before calling to the guards to have us enter.
Once we're all inside, we're forced into a room smaller than my dorm. It's a tight fit, but somehow we manage. One guard comes in and starts untying the ropes. After the rope around my wrist is undone, I twist and turn them, bringing back circulation. There are spots of blood, but it's more irritated than anything.
Roman walks in and starts pointing at random girls. "In back," he yells. When he points to me, I have no idea what he means by in back, but I watch the other girls leave the room, so I follow behind them. Each girl walks into another bedroom where the other guard stands. When I enter the room behind them, they're all stripping from their clothing. I don't copy them, instead I just look away, looking back at the rest of the faces that walk in with us.