by Molly Evans
“I see.”
Her cautious gaze lifted, and the desire swirling in her eyes only fueled his want of her. He shouldn’t. He ought not. But he wanted her anyway. Wanted her in a way he hadn’t wanted a woman in so very long. “I’m exhausted, and so are you. We both need some rest, but I…want to hold you while we sleep.” Nuzzling her soft cheek against his made him think of things he shouldn’t, made him want things he couldn’t have, but he’d be damned if he’d give up this time out of time, this moment that had come out of nowhere, without drawing some of it inside himself to savor later. Was it so wrong? “It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted…this,” he whispered, his voice tight with emotion.
Jeannine turned her face toward him, her light breath fanning his skin. “Me, too.” Cupping his cheek with her hand, she looked deep into his eyes, searching for answers he didn’t know if he had.
She pulled his head down and kissed him.
He groaned as an unexpected flood of sexual energy surged through him. Although minutes ago he’d said he wasn’t prepared, in seconds his body was indeed more than ready to lead the charge out of celibacy.
Lowering her to the bed, he pressed his weight on top of her, and devoured her mouth. Years of frustration and loneliness melted away as Jeannine wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. Whatever was wrong with him was healing right now in Jeannine’s arms. Each breath he took filled his senses with her. Her soft breasts pressed into his chest, the flare of her hips drew his hand. Each gasp, each moan, seared his mind and body with his need of her.
The weight of him pressed down on her felt more right than anything had in a long time. Kissing him, touching him, holding him against her was the stuff fantasies were made of. He stirred her, he thrilled her, and if she wasn’t careful, she was going to fall hard for this man. So much of her life had been filled with doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. Now she just wanted to be free to do what she wanted, what she needed, and now she needed Miklo. Bending one knee, she hooked her foot around his leg and held on.
Pressing a row of kisses along the soft column of her neck, Miklo halted at the collar of her shirt and raised his head with a groan of frustration. “If I don’t stop now, I’m not going to be able to,” he said, his voice a husky whisper. “Whatever is going on between us is too easy, too enticing, for me to resist much longer.” Every inch of him trembled with unexpected need.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to…” She tried to pull away, but he held her fast.
“Shh. Don’t be sorry.” His hungry gaze raked over her rumpled clothing. “I’m not. I want this as much as you do. I can see it in your eyes, feel it in your kiss. You just don’t know how tempting you are to me. But I don’t want to rush into something neither of us is prepared for.” He kissed her swollen lips gently and moved his weight off her, then gathered her back against his chest and settled onto the pillows. “Will you lie here with me and sleep?” he asked. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to, if I’ve scared you.”
“No, I want to stay,” she whispered, and settled back against his chest. More than you’ll ever know, she thought. The first man not disgusted by her disfigurement was one who had his own issues, deep scars, that hurt him on the inside more than hers did on the outside.
If all she ever had with him was this one moment in time, she was going to take it. She knew he wanted her, she felt the burning heat of his arousal straining against her backside. Some deep-seated feminine part of her personality found great satisfaction in his swift reaction. Miklo, a man who moved heaven and earth for others, who flew an airplane through desert storms to come to the aid of an injured child, was quickly becoming entirely too hard to resist.
If things had been different between them, if they had each been in different places in their lives, they might not have let go of each other tonight. But here and now their lives were too far apart to indulge in a selfish sexual tryst that would leave them both empty inside.
The deep rhythmic movement of his chest told her that he had succumbed to sleep. Content to rest in his arms as long as possible, she was determined to savor every second with Miklo strong and warm beside her.
CHAPTER TEN
STARTLED, heart racing, Miklo opened his eyes and tried to remember where he was. As memories of the last day slid into his awareness, he relaxed. Midmorning arrived with blades of sunlight slicing through the window. Miklo and Jeannine lay entwined, as if they had been lovers in fact. Jeannine was still soundly asleep. She had turned toward him some time during the night, and her hand lay soft on his chest. He hadn’t wakened this way since before Darlene had died. Morning cuddles and slow awakenings were something he’d missed.
Waking with a woman in his arms again was a bitter-sweet experience. He’d never expected to care for someone again, and now he didn’t know what to think or what to feel. He’d pushed his feelings down so far he didn’t know how to call them back again.
Was it the forced intimacy he and Jeannine had shared over the last few days that created the illusion of caring? Or had he somehow managed to allow her into his heart without even knowing, without being aware of her entrance?
As he closed his eyes, images of his wife fluttered through his mind. Memories of the life they had shared no longer wielded the sharp edges they once had. He no longer bled at the mere thought of her. Perhaps he was healing and the time had finally come to move on. With a sigh, he cuddled Jeannine closer. The ticking clock in his head stopped, and he was able to sleep again without dreams.
Sunlight streaming through the window roused Jeannine. As soon as she moved, Miklo awoke. “What’s wrong?” he said, and blinked several times.
“Nothing. Just waking up,” Jeannine said, easing from his warm embrace. “I’m going to get some juice—want some?”
“Sure.”
After a light breakfast, they returned to the hospital to check on their patient.
“He’s holding his own, thanks to you both,” José said. “I’m so impressed that you were able to come immediately. You certainly saved his life.”
“That’s one of the benefits of having your own plane,” Miklo said.
“Should there be anything I can do for you, please let me know. I will come at once,” José said.
Miklo gave Jeannine a sideways glance, but spoke in Spanish to José.
José grinned and looked at Jeannine.
She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “Hey, now. What are you two talking about? That’s not fair since I don’t understand Spanish.”
Miklo grinned. “It’s a surprise.” He took a set of keys from José and waved once, then led Jeannine out of the hospital.
“Where are we going? I’m not sure if I can trust you any more, Miklo,” she said with a laugh. Heat pulsed in her chest, warming her, knowing that whatever was going on was going on just for her.
Miklo laughed. “You know you can trust me. It’s just a little side trip I want to take you on before we go back to Albuquerque.”
“What is it?”
“We’re going for a drive.” He led her to a well-worn Jeep.
Jeannine climbed into the open vehicle. There was no top, nothing except a roll-bar between her and all the fresh air she could want. “Where are we going?”
Miklo got in and started the cranky engine. “Juarez.”
“That’s in Mexico…I don’t have my passport.”
“It is Mexico, and you don’t need it.” Miklo put the Jeep into gear, and they took off.
“I’ve always heard they’re dangerous places, border towns.”
“Not with me around it isn’t. I speak the language, and we’re only going to be there for a couple of hours, then we’ll head back to reality.” He considered her seriously for a moment. “Since we were so close to the border, and you said you’d never been out of the country, I thought this might be an opportunity to try it.”
Jeannine swallowed down the spasm of fear that tried to intrude. Since she’d met Mikl
o, she’d done so many things outside of her comfort zone that she didn’t know where that zone began or ended any more. Fear no longer seemed like something to be…afraid of. “Let’s go.”
“Great. It’s about an hour’s drive, so you can relax and take in the scenery while I play tour-guide.”
An hour later, after securing a parking spot and paying a teenager an outrageous amount to watch the vehicle, Miklo and Jeannine walked across the causeway into the city of Ciudad Juarez, Mexico.
The sights, the sounds, the smells all melded together into a symphony of sensation that was all new and exciting to her. Jeannine tried to take everything in at once as they strolled along the walkway of the open-air marketplace.
“You look like a tourista,” Miklo said with a grin.
“Well, I am.”
“Let’s keep going,” he said, and took Jeannine’s hand.
“Going where? This is an interesting place. Why don’t we stop here?” she asked with a frown, but allowed him to direct their path.
“There’s another marketplace farther along that caters more to the locals. This is just for unsuspecting tourists.”
“Oh. I wouldn’t have known that.”
“Then it’s good you are taking your first excursion out of the country with someone who does, right?”
“Right.”
After an hour or two spent in the marketplace, another span of time spent lingering over a Mexican dinner on the open patio of an unnamed restaurant, and exotically rich coffee, their day was almost over.
With each passing moment, Jeannine felt herself slide down the slope she had cautiously guarded against. But she knew she was falling for Miklo in a big way. Panic flared in her chest, and she tried to ease the tight feeling. Falling for Miklo was not going to be good for either of them.
Miklo carried a bag with their purchases as they walked back over the border and returned to the Jeep. “Did you enjoy yourself?” he asked.
“Oh, yes. Very much. Thank you for taking me.” Spending time with him away from work, away from the city, away from everyone, was something she’d never have dreamed of. Something she would cherish.
“You’re welcome.”
They returned to Albuquerque, and Jeannine was grateful to land on her home turf. So much had happened, so much had changed, that she needed some time to think.
“Here you are,” Miklo said as he pulled into her driveway.
“It seems like days since you picked me up, not just twenty-four hours. Time is a strange thing, isn’t it?”
Miklo leaned his head back against the headrest. “It is. We sure packed a lot into a day.”
“More than I think I ever could have.” She paused and bit her lower lip. “Do you want to come in?”
Turning toward her, Miklo searched her eyes in the dim light from the dashboard. “I don’t think I’d better right now.”
“Okay. I’m sure you’re going to be up early tomorrow.”
He shifted in the seat and faced her fully. “It’s not that.”
The sound of his voice in the close confines of the car made her want to shiver. He was so intense, so male. “It’s okay, Miklo. Really. You don’t need a reason.” God, she was so stupid sometimes.
“Jeannine,” he said, and reached out to cup his hands around her cheeks. “This is why.”
He kissed her. The first touch of her skin under his hands, the first burst of her fragrance washing over him, the first touch of her eager mouth beneath his, sent a shockwave of desire through him.
He shouldn’t want, he didn’t have the right to, but he did. He would never forgive himself for what happened to his family, but he was still a man with all the baser needs of one. Jeannine’s presence brought out every one of them, and he pulled back from her. “I want you too much right now.”
“I see.” She curved her hair behind one ear. “That’s bad, then, isn’t it?”
Miklo choked out a laugh. “I don’t know what it is, but every time I’m alone with you…Anyway, I just don’t think we should tempt fate too far. It has a way of coming back to repay you at the worst of times.”
Jeannine gathered her things and faced Miklo. “I had a wonderful time. Except for the airplane part. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
She left the car and hurried to her house. She opened the door and with a wave disappeared inside.
Before he could change his mind, Miklo backed the car out of the driveway and drove home.
Jeannine couldn’t believe how slowly the day was moving. Though it was only two p.m., she felt as if she’d been at work for twelve hours already. Her patient was stable, so she joined her colleague Trish in the staff lounge for a break. They chatted a few minutes, with Trish snapping open the pages of a fashion magazine.
“How was your weekend?” Trish asked, not looking up.
“Fine,” Jeannine said. Oh, it had been more than fine, but she wanted to keep her thoughts to herself. Even though Trish looked set to become a true friend, the experiences with Miklo over the weekend were too precious to share just yet. Too unnerving to let herself think about for too long. “I was hoping I’d be assigned to Roberto today. I’d like to check on him.”
“Sure. Go ahead. I’ll watch your patient for a while. If anything changes, I’ll page you.” Trish waved a casual hand at her.
Jeannine made her way down the hall to Roberto’s room. Roberto had progressed enough to be moved out of the ICU and into the general pediatric unit. When she entered his room, he sat up, his eyes bright.
“Hi, there. Como esta usted?” she asked him.
He spoke quickly to her and gestured to his face, which was still swollen in areas and colored purple and green but had improved dramatically. She laughed at his antics, not understanding anything he said. Jeannine asked for some interpretation from one of the nurses who spoke fluent Spanish.
“He’s just excited and wanted to thank you for helping Dr. Miklo fix his face. He remembers you and how you helped him.” Roberto stood on his bed and reached for Jeannine. He hugged her tightly and said, “Gracias. Papa say thanks to you.”
“You are very welcome, Roberto.” Tears pricked Jeannine’s eyes at his heartfelt gesture, and she hugged his small body to her, wishing that some day she could have a child of her own but knowing it was probably impossible. She would have to content herself with taking care of other people’s children in the hospital.
Roberto released Jeannine with a squeal and began talking excitedly in Spanish again. Jeannine turned and her heart gave a flip as Miklo walked into the room. Roberto talked to him, and Miklo nodded, then brought a small car from his labcoat pocket. Jeannine grinned. Without having understood the conversation, she got the idea from the eagerness on Roberto’s face.
“He asked if I brought another car so that we could race,” Miklo said.
The look in his eyes took away her ability to give a sensible response. The spark of interest grew as his gaze lingered on her mouth, and she resisted the urge to lick her lips. “I see you came prepared. Who do you think is going to win?”
“He will. Hands down. I’m a bad driver.” He examined Roberto as they played with the cars.
Jeannine knew he assessed the boy as they played, and it seemed more like fun than a doctor’s exam. She gave Miklo full credit for keeping the boy as comfortable as possible while gathering the information he needed.
“I’d better get back to the ICU. Things were slow for a while, but I don’t want to be gone too long.”
“I’ll walk down with you,” Miklo said. “I’m about to head out, anyway.”
They walked in silence to the stairwell, and Miklo opened the door. Anticipation hummed through her. Lord, she wanted Miklo to touch her again, but she didn’t think it wise. For either of them.
The door slammed closed, and he spun her around. She reached out for him with a glad cry. The second his lips met hers, she knew she was heading down the path of heartache, but she was powerless to run the
other way.
When he lifted his head, he stepped back from her. “I told myself when I saw you again that I wasn’t going to feel anything special, I wasn’t going to want to touch you again, but…Jeannine, I do.” He stroked a hand over her cheek. “I enjoyed our weekend.”
“So did I.” More than he could know. She’d relived every moment in her mind over the last few hours.
Miklo took her hand and headed down the stairs. “We’d better get out of here before I’m accused of accosting a co-worker in the stairwell,” he said.
Jeannine’s laughter echoed off the walls. “I don’t think that will be an issue. I might just as well be accused of the same thing.”
He opened the door to the PICU and dropped her hand. They returned to being just coworkers, and Jeannine was a little disappointed, though she knew it was for the best. Instead of leaving, he pulled her aside as a patient was wheeled by on a gurney. “Incidentally, I did check with Risk Management about us accepting the tickets for the ball, and they said it was just fine.” He nodded. “I mentioned the part about publicity, and they thought that we could use some good publicity, as well as the museum.”
“Oh, good,” she said, and touched her hand to her chest. “I didn’t want us to get into trouble over it.”
“If it had been an issue, I would have just paid for the tickets,” he said. “No problem.”
Jeannine stared at him. “You really would have?”
“Absolutely. Taking you to the Chocolate Fantasy Ball would be worth more than what the tickets cost. I’ll see you on Saturday. Pick you up at six?”
Jeannine nodded, unable to speak as she stared at him.
“Will you wear the dress we got in Mexico?”
“Oh, no. It’s too revealing.” The thought of being so exposed in a large crowd made her tremble. Revealing herself to Miklo was one thing, but to a room of strangers was quite another. “You really shouldn’t have bought it.”
“So wear something over it, a shawl or something.” His eyes turned hungry. “I’d like to see you in it.”