by Molly Evans
In the short time he’d known her, he’d realized that they had become friends. He’d missed that companionship and until now he hadn’t realized how much he’d needed it. He needed to talk to someone, someone who knew what his work life was like and could commiserate with him about cases. Someone who understood him. That hadn’t explained why his hands shook when he saw her. Why his heart beat erratically when he was near her. Three days had passed since the party at Olympia’s and he’d missed seeing her.
“Jeannine, I—”
“Help! I need help!” a female voice cried from outside the exit door.
Jeannine and Miklo dashed out to find a distraught woman in the door of the ambulance bay.
“What’s wrong?” Jeannine asked, and tried to lead the woman inside. “Are you hurt?”
“No, my sister. She collapsed.” The woman dashed out of the door to a car, with Miklo, Jeannine and other staff racing after her.
“Someone get a gurney,” Jeannine instructed.
Miklo saw a woman slumped over in the passenger side of the car. He jerked open the door and pain sliced through his heart.
“She’s pregnant,” the woman said, as tears poured from her eyes. “Please help her.”
Sweat and memories poured over Miklo at the sight of the unconscious woman. Without thought, he reached in a scooped the heavily pregnant woman into his arms. She didn’t rouse at the movement.
“Put her on the stretcher,” Jeannine said, and reached out to hold the woman’s head upright.
“Don’t touch her,” Miklo said, his voice rough. He took a step back from Jeannine.
“Dr. Kyriakides,” Jeannine said strongly. “Put her on the gurney, and we’ll take her inside.”
Miklo complied with a nod as his heart raced out of control. A male attendant took one end of the stretcher and Jeannine took the other, while Miklo hurried along side. “Trauma One,” Miklo said, and directed the gurney there. Staff had already set up the room. A respiratory therapist placed oxygen over the patient’s face, another nurse started an IV, and Jeannine applied the heart and fetal monitors.
“Tell me what happened to her,” Miklo instructed the distraught woman.
“We were at the mall, shopping for baby clothes. She said she had a headache and was tired. She took an aspirin, and we stopped to rest.” The woman shrugged. “She seemed okay for a while and then when we were in the car she fainted. Is she okay? Is she going to be all right?”
“What’s her name?” Miklo asked and flashed his penlight across the woman’s pupils.
“Maria Romero.”
“Thank you for bringing her in.” Concentrating on the patient, Miklo barely looked up.
“She’s had headaches for weeks and took a lot of aspirin, but we all thought it was just from hormones or something, you know?”
“Why don’t you call her husband to come in?” Jeannine asked, knowing they’d need him here soon if the woman didn’t respond.
“Is she gonna die?” the woman shrieked, and clutched Miklo’s arm.
“No. I don’t know yet. She just needs to have her husband with her. He needs to be here.” Miklo gave the woman’s shoulder a squeeze and returned to Maria’s side. “One pupil is blown, the other is sluggish.” He stood upright and faced the staff in the room. “Radiology. Now. I’ll call Neurosurgery on the way,” Miklo said, and pulled out his cellphone.
“You think it’s an aneurysm or a stroke?” Jeannine asked as they rounded the corner to the radiology department.
“AVM. Happens sometimes in pregnancy.”
“I’m not familiar with that term.”
“Arterial-venous malformation. An irregularity at a junction in the vessels of the brain. The pressure of the cardiovascular system in pregnancy causes it to expand and then rupture at the weak point.”
“Oh, God,” she said as they rolled Maria into the CAT scanner room.
Miklo dialed a number on his phone. “Joshua? Where are you? It’s Miklo.” After listening to the response, he nodded. “I’ve got a pregnant woman, possible AVM. We’re in CAT scan right now. Scrub, and we’ll be in the OR in ten minutes.”
“We need to hurry,” Jeannine whispered. “There are decelerations on the fetal monitor. We need to move, or we’re going to lose them both.”
Miklo grabbed the phone on the wall and dialed the hospital emergency system. “Obstetrical emergency team to the OR.” He slammed the phone down. “Let’s go.” Miklo was more determined than ever to save this mother and her child.
“She’s far enough along that the baby can probably be saved,” Jeannine said.
Miklo avoided looking at Jeannine, but concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other in the race to the OR to save this woman.
Within minutes several events occurred. Miklo and Jeannine turned the patient over to the neurosurgery team, the obstetrical team and newborn ICU teams arrived to perform an emergency Cesarean surgery to save the baby, and the newborn ICU team placed a squalling baby boy into the arms of his father, who broke down and wept.
Miklo left the OR, pain vibrating through him.
Two hours later Jeannine found Miklo staring through the window of the newborn nursery. For a few moments she stood beside him, waiting, watching, hoping.
“Miklo?” Though she wanted to reach out to him, she hesitated to pull him from his silent musings. “Are you okay?”
Without answering, he continued to stare at the activity in the nursery for a few minutes. Then he sighed and seemed to withdraw even more. “I don’t think I can do this any more.”
“Do what?” Though it struck fear in her heart, she had to know, had to ask.
“This.” He nodded at the window. “Watch people die.”
“But this one didn’t die. You saved them both, didn’t you know that?” She touched his arm, making sure that he saw her, felt her.
“I happened to be in the right place at the right time.”
“Exactly. If you hadn’t been there, they would have both died, and that man with a baby in his arms would have lost everything.” Tears flooded her eyes as she watched helplessly at Miklo pushing her silently away.
Miklo faced her, angry frustration blazing in his eyes. “Come on, Jeannine—”
“No, Miklo, you come on. This is where you needed to be, when you needed to be here. Do you think that family is any less grateful than you would have been had the circumstances been different?” She dragged in a breath, trying to control the emotions about to spill out of her. “You saved a woman, her unborn child, and gave them back to their family. That’s not a gift to be taken lightly. You know that, Miklo.”
Miklo calmed and met her gaze, saw truth in her eyes. At least, the truth as she believed it. Could he take that truth of hers and live with it, make it his own? Somehow he doubted it. His life, his jaded attitude was too far gone. He’d had a brief interlude into the light of what Jeannine offered, but it wasn’t enough to keep him there, wasn’t enough to make him whole again. She deserved more than half a man to love her, to fully love her, not the half way he had done.
“I know you’re hurting right now, but you have to let them go.” Her lips trembled, and he wanted to reach out to smooth them into a smile, but his hands remained at his sides. “It’s the only way for you to survive. To live again.”
Miklo unclenched his fists and tunneled his hands into her hair, dragging her close against him, not caring where they were or who witnessed the downward spiral of his life. This was the last time he was going to touch Jeannine.
Jeannine’s arms clutched around his waist. “Hang onto me, Miklo. Hang onto me as long as you can.”
“You’re a wonderful woman, Jeannine.” His throat was tight, his tongue thick in his mouth. The effort to suppress his emotions choked him.
“Don’t you dare give me that.”
“I mean it. These last few weeks have been wonderful because of you. You’re bright, you’re beautiful, compassionate and smart.”
�
��But?”
“I don’t think I can do this again.”
“Do what?”
“Lose someone the way I lost my family, the way Maria was almost lost to her family.” Though he wasn’t related to her, though he didn’t know the family, the situation was too close to home for him to just let go of it so easily. Reason and logic had no place here. “I didn’t love Darlene the way…Losing her almost killed me. If something happened to you, too, I don’t know if I could bear it. At least if I walk away now I know you’ll be safe.”
“Miklo. There are no guarantees in life. Just chances. If you’re not willing to take a chance, then I don’t know what we can do.”
The sound of her voice in his head made him want to let go, let go of everything that had been holding him back, but he couldn’t. The ability to take that step and keep going had somehow been blocked by the pain of the past, the pain that would never let him go.
He pulled back and released her. He turned away, unable to bear the worry, the concern, the love in her eyes. He knew she loved him. Every step they had taken together had brought them closer, and she had fallen over the edge. It was in her touch, in her kiss, in every breath she took when she was with him. And it was his fault that she was hurting so badly.
“I’m very concerned about you.”
“I’m so sorry I’ve dragged you down with me. Hurting you was never my intention.”
“Miklo, you deserve to be happy, no matter who you choose to be with. Spending your life paying for a mistake that wasn’t yours is just plain wrong. No one should give up their life for such a thing.” She grabbed his sleeve. “Accidents and tragedies happen. They are part of life. We’ve both suffered long enough, and we deserve to be happy.”
He thought of her and the pregnancy that had almost ended her life. They had both lost a child. She hadn’t given up, she had survived and persevered, changed her life, and was now a success. “You are one of the bravest people I have ever met in my life.”
“I’m not brave, just too stubborn to quit.” Her watery gaze held his.
She gave him a sad smile that made his heart lurch. Taking two steps back from her, he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Something is broken in me, Jeannine, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“If you’ll let me, I can help you.”
“You already have.” Miklo took another step back from her. Needing the space between them for a moment before he broke down and took her in his arms again. “I’m sorry, but I need some time right now.”
Jeannine looked away, sniffed and nodded. “I understand.”
And she knew it was over between them. Recovering from devastating events was impossible for some people. Miklo might never recover, even though he’d made an attempt.
Closing the gap between them in two strides, he cupped her face in his hands and pressed a hard kiss against her mouth. “I’m sorry.” Seconds later, he released her and walked away.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
RATHER than waiting by the phone like a teenager who’d been dumped by her boyfriend, Jeannine worked as many shifts as she could and kept herself busy. Miklo hadn’t called her since the night they had spoken outside the nursery window, just a few days ago. He might call her, he might not. She understood that, accepted it, and she resisted the temptation to call him. It didn’t stop her from looking up and hoping every time she saw an attending physician with dark hair come into the lounge for a cup of coffee. Their time together was probably over.
“So, how’s Dr. Hottie these days?” Trish asked as they entered the break room.
Jeannine reached for the coffee-pot and poured them both a cup before she answered. “I’m…not sure.”
“What do you mean?” Trish demanded, and sat straight upright in her chair, her eyes bright with suspicion.
“It’s that simple.” She stirred creamer in her coffee and watched the black liquid swirl into an amber color. “He’s busy. I’m busy,” she said with a shrug, and tried to look casual about it.
“Did something happen that you’re not telling me?”
The concern in Trish’s voice was almost enough to bring tears to Jeannine’s eyes, but she resisted the urge to give in to that indulgence. She’d survived much more than heartache, and she wasn’t about to give in now. “Maybe we really aren’t as compatible as I thought we were.”
“But you said the sex was fabulous!”
“It was,” she said in a hushed tone, and looked around to see if anyone lingered in the hallway. “Relationships aren’t just about sex.”
“They’re not?” A completely innocent look covered Trish’s face as she thought about it. “Oh, dear.”
“No, they’re not, silly, and you know it.” She playfully batted her friend on the arm and released a pent-up giggle. The tension of the day had been heavy, and she needed the release.
“Wow. I’m glad you straightened me out on that one. No telling how long I could have gone on having fabulous sex with someone thinking I was having a relationship.” Trish chuckled and sipped her coffee, then she leaned forward in her seat. “So what do you think happened between you and Miklo?”
“I don’t know. He’s had a devastating past and it may take a lot more than someone like me for him to get over it.”
“What do you mean, someone like you?” Trish narrowed her eyes at Jeannine.
Uncomfortable, Jeannine switched positions in her chair, but it didn’t help. “I mean…someone more attractive, someone Greek.”
“You’d better rethink that, you’re talking about my friend. Although you can’t overcome not being Greek, there’s nothing else wrong with you that a little confidence won’t cure.”
Jeannine told Trish about the pregnant patient that she and Miklo had cared for and how it related to his past. “You know as well as I do that something like that can trigger past emotions that we haven’t dealt with. It’s painful, it tears you up inside, but then you move on. He’ll get there. He just needs a little space.”
Jeannine wished that Trish’s words were really true, but she knew better. Somehow she had deluded herself about Miklo, and her denial had come to an abrupt end.
“I think I’m going to go see Roberto. He’s going to go home in a few days, so I’d better see him now.” Jeannine finished her coffee and stood.
“Jeannine,” Trish said and reached out to her friend. “I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, me, too.”
Miklo finished his rounds and looked at his watch. After placing a note in the chart, he looked at the clock on the wall. Time had seemed to stand still for him the last few days. Funny how it had flown when he had been with Jeannine. He hadn’t been fair to her, and he needed to call her. He owed her an apology. And just maybe she would forgive him.
Then his pager went off and an overhead page followed seconds later. “Any doctor to the ER. Any doctor to the ER.”
That was always a bad sign.
He raced down the stairs, taking them three at a time and leaping onto the landing. He burst through the ER doorway into pure chaos.
Staff scattered in all directions and at least ten police officers scuffled with several prisoners in orange jumpsuits.
“Hold it right there,” one of the cops said, and tried to push him back into the stairwell. “We have a hostile situation here.”
“I’m a physician here. Where’s the emergency?” he asked, and caught his breath, trying to see through the mob of struggling prisoners and police. “There was a distress page overhead.”
“Don’t know. We got our hands full with this lot. Tried to overtake the prison bus and ended up wrecking it instead. There are more on the way.”
“Let me through,” Miklo said as a sick feeling of dread curled in his gut. Where was Jeannine today? He hoped she was safely in the PICU, but if there had been a call for help, he knew she would have come. Something was seriously wrong here, and he rushed toward the nurses’ station. Voices, shouting, and chaos where there normally was controlled
urgency made his concern turn to worry. As he neared the nursing station he swallowed hard and skidded to a halt.
Jeannine lay sprawled on the floor, covered in blood, holding an unconscious Trish in her arms.
Miklo dropped to the floor beside them and tried to keep his heart from pounding out of his chest. “Are you okay? What happened?” he asked, and struggled to get the penlight out of his pocket.
“I’m okay, but Trish is really hurt.” She gave a gasp and made a visible attempt to control the tremor of her lower lip. “We got called to help. The prisoners were in a big mob, fighting. They ran right over her and knocked her into me. I think they broke her nose and maybe her jaw,” she said as she continued to cup a hand along Trish’s face, which was swollen and starting to bruise. Although tears flowed from her eyes and her voice cracked, Jeannine maintained her professionalism under the deepest stress.
“Has she responded at all?” he asked, as he shone the flashlight in Trish’s pupils.
“No, she’s been out about four or five minutes. Are her pupils okay?” she asked, and her blue-green gaze clung to him.
“Yes. We need to get her to Radiology if those men are contained.” He stood and looked down the hallway. The police and prisoners had exploded out into the parking lot, and only a few remained inside. Some sat quietly in chairs lining the hallway and the police tending them appeared alert to any changes. Miklo bent down to Jeannine again. “Let’s get her onto a gurney, get oxygen and suction, and we’ll take her straight away.”
Jeannine sniffed back a tear and nodded. “She needs a neck collar before we move her.” She looked up at the male assistant hovering protectively nearby. “Can you get me a collar and bring a stretcher?”
He dug into a cupboard overhead and handed Miklo the collar. “Here. I’ll be right back.” Then he raced off and returned seconds later with a stretcher. “Let us help you. She’s too heavy for you to pick up by yourself.”