by April Worth
Jo batted her eyelashes, quite pleased that she had the older woman’s full attention. “You are a good kisser Jean.”
“That so?”
The blonde moved toward her, her arm resting along the back of the sofa, her other hand running idle fingertips over Jean’s bare shoulder. A cautious lean forward from her guest, Jo watched her until they were inches apart. The soft lips against her own were warm, tasting slightly of the tart lemonade. A bare arm slid around her, Jo felt her own hand slide around Jean’s waist. Her body wanted this, she could feel her heart racing, chemicals pouring into her bloodstream, pupils dilating.
Jean seemed encouraged by the soft little murmur of enjoyment against her lips. Fingertips found their way into Jo’s damp hair, Jo’s hand in turn had slid up, resting only lightly, her forearm against Jean’s chest.
Their kisses were still careful, a light touch of tongues, mostly closed mouthed. She gave Jo a moment to catch her breath, grinning. “Still OK?”
A nod, Jo pulled her closer again. A brush of their lips, Jean ducked her head slightly, instead kissing her jawline, her chin, then the sensitive spot below Joanne’s ear. A smug chuckle when she felt her companion’s breath catch.
The tall woman felt safe, it was her home, a breath of disapproval and Jean would stop. Her old fashioned manners were kind of a turn on. Respectful, considerate, sweet.
A moment of pause. Jo turned in her seat, clumping cushions together along with a throw rug. Satisfied, she leant back, half sitting half prone. A coy raise of a blonde brow. She was curious to see how her friend would react.
Jean cocked her head to the side, a fingertip running up the long leg, stopping mid thigh. She looked up at the grey eyes. A tanned hand patted the back of the couch, felt around beside her.
“What on Earth are you doing?”
Narrowed eyes. “Looking for your tazer, your mace, whatever you plan on electrocuting me with..”
Jo chucked softly with devious intent. A curled fingertip, darkened grey eyes. Both said come hither. This was a test of some sort, whether Jo had wanted to test her own limits, or Jean’s the older woman wasn’t sure.
The gardener slid closer, mindful of the long legs that were moving to give her space. She lay with her back against the backrest of the couch, Jo almost curled up against her side on the cushions. An olive arm slid under the taller woman’s shoulders. Fingertips brushed against Jo’s cheek. A smile of reassurance.
Jean kissed her again, with a little more fire, feeling the soft lips part for her tongue. A tentative caress as they took a joint breath together mid kiss. Gentle fingertips stroked along an angular jawline, down to a curving chin. They rested on her friend’s neck. The creamy skin was flushed a little from the attention. Jean licked her lips, moving down again, this time half way between jawline and collarbone, a lick followed by blowing softly on the moistened skin.
“Fuck.”
She nuzzled Jo’s neck with her nose. “Like that huh?”
A slow nod, her friend’s eyes looked a little unfocused. A larger hand slid further around Jean’s waist, the other slid around the back of her neck. Lying together almost hugging. Fingertips threaded through dark hair. Jean squeaked with surprise as Jo captured her lips with a fierce kiss. A quick breath in through her nose, Jo’s lips were busy with her mouth. Her hand stroked Jo’s ribs, gentle circles with her thumb. It hadn’t occurred to her that the blonde might be kinda strong, with all that police training she still carried herself like she spent all day in heels.
Jo’s knee raised, resting on the older woman’s hip. Her hand moved from the back of the gardener’s neck, where it had been twining with her hair, to rest on her stomach. Jean stroked her back, nails trailing softly over the dark slinky polyester.
Another round of kisses. Jean almost felt light headed. Jo released her and took a breath, trailing her fingertips over the piped cotton under her hand. The older woman squeezed her gently, enjoying their closeness. Jo looked at her bashfully, realising she’d made the other woman equally flushed.
“You’re not so bad at this yourself Jo.” A fingertip on the tip on her Nordic nose, then back to rest around her side.
Jo rested her head on her friend’s collarbone. There was lot going through her mind, she wasn’t sure what this said about her, that she was enjoying this so much. That it was triggering responses all over her body. Heterosexual as far as she knew - until now. When she stopped to think about it, it was kind of daunting. She looked up at Jean, the woman was stroking her cheek, occasionally leaning forward and kissing her forehead. Seemingly benign. Jo extended her fingertip, running it experimentally over the defined collarbone in front of her, she could feel Jean shiver.
“God Jo.” A soft groan as she closed her eyes.
Jo felt like a deer in the headlights. She was enjoying everything that was happening, her body was certainly reacting with enthusiasm. At the same time her head was swimming. She’d been having some pretty intense dreams after their camping trip. Partly trepidation, partly curious arousal, the rest a blind panic at the idea of being judged. It was hard to reconcile that with the woman nestled beside her, who it seemed had none of those fears.
Fingertips on her cheek. “Hey, come back to me?” Chocolate eyes and long lashes, a look of concern.
A soft little huff, she hadn’t realised she was far away. Her mind had slipped into anxiety, it must have been written on her face.
Gentle caresses. The older woman was holding her, her arms had cradled around her, the slow rise and fall of her chest underneath Jo’s hand.
“I’d never try to hurt you Jo. Come back to me sweetheart.”
If the crew down at the station ever found out. Her mother’s judgemental eyes. Oh God, Oh God. What would her daughter think? She wasn’t even old enough to understand, but she would be, eventually.
The blonde moved Jean’s arm and sat up, her long legs bent in front of her, her head in her hands. Jean moved beside her, rubbing her back, not sure if she wanted contact but feeling compelled to reassure her.
“What’s wrong Jo? Tell me?”
She sniffled, biting back tears. “Jean, I’m..I’m sorry this is just..”
A blink of soft lashes as dark eyes looked back at her, a hand still rubbing her shoulder. “Scary? Confusing? Worried about people judging you?”
Grey orbs snapped to her, before looking away. “Something like that. I don’t know what..I want?”
A nod as the brunette’s hand settled lightly on her knee. “I know exactly how you feel, and you’re right. It is frightening.”
The blonde looked at her with drawn brows. “How do you know?” It suddenly dawned on her what a stupid question that was. Jean was gay. It just, seemed as though she’d always been that way, she was probably welcomed into the world and had ‘lesbian’ stamped on her hand with a cheerful smile and tick of a pen. Maybe it was because she seemed so comfortable with who she was.
Jean’s brows bunched slightly as she considered an old memory. “Jo, I had to come out to a Roman Catholic father, and a god fearing Christian woman. Both of whom couldn’t believe their little girl was a rug muncher. Darling, I know how you feel. I was someone else for years.”
Her jaw dropped. A smile and a roll of the older woman’s dark eyes. “..And this was before it was acceptable, well, more or less acceptable, at least here.”
Her hands were open in exasperation, and voice roughened with emotion. “But Jean, I’m straight.. I’m not gay. I’ve never reacted this way to another woman before. That’s what I don’t understand.”
The older woman clasped her own hands together between her knees. “Jo, it’s just a label, people use them all the time, doesn’t mean they define who we are.”
The blonde said nothing, but Jean could see her thinking.
A hand carefully grazed her arm. “Is there anything I can do?”
Grey eyes darted over her. She was torn, she didn’t want her to leave thinking that she’d done some sort of em
otional damage, and she didn’t want her to stay either. She wasn’t ready for that, wasn’t sure if she even wanted it.
She needed space to work this out on her own, but she didn’t want to behave heavy handed. Jean had been so considerate, after all.
“Jean, I think I need some time to think.”
“OK.” It sounded resigned.
Her larger hand reached over the clasp the gardener’s. “Listen, it’s not like that. I like you, I do. I just need a little time.”
A gentle pat on the back of her hand. “It’s OK Jo.” She stood to leave, a quick check of her pockets to make sure she had everything.
Jo stopped her as she walked past, pulling her into a careful hug. A calloused hand cupped her cheek and gazed at her, concerned. “Sure you’re OK?”
The policewoman nodded. They walked toward the door. Jo stood on the path beside her front door, her mind still buzzing.
Jean waved as she got into her car, with the summer months, night was only just on the horizon. A sun still setting as she drove home.
She sighed softly as she listened to the radio.
Chapter 16
Scott was hefting bags of river stone into a wheelbarrow, walking it over to Jean, and then repeating the process. The pyramid in the back of the old ute was getting shorter, and he was happier for it. The last few bags in the black metal tray and he was turning the barrow toward her. The old aquatic centre needed a tidy up, a quick maintenance job, hopefully they’d be done soon. He’d heard her cursing under her breath since they arrived.
He lifted his shades from his eyes and wiped them on the bottom of his shirt. Kneeling down beside the woman to spread the stones across the narrow garden beds. Alone together before the start of the working day for most, it got too hot to do this toward noon, especially with the heat radiating up from all this concrete. He wasn’t blessed with his boss’ olive complexion.
Another mumble as she pulled out a weed.
“Someone give you decaf this morning Jean?”
She glanced over at him behind her sunglasses. A shake of her head. “No, these dandelions are just being stubborn, so many of the bastards.”
Uh huh. “You aren’t having lady issues are you? I saw this thing on the Discovery Channel..”
She stopped, giving him a scowl, he grinned.
“Dick head.” Then continued with what she was doing.
He stood up and moved the stones with a shovel blade. “You can tell me Jean? I used to tell you when Ellie gave me hell?” a friendly smile on his stubbled face.
“Scott, Ellie knows you’re a good guy. I wasn’t sure if what I said helped much?”
Jean dusted off her hands, reaching behind her to a row of potted plants. She’d been there for him, almost like a maternal figure, when he was worried about his marriage. Luckily for Scott, his fears were laid to rest when his wife said she wasn’t leaving, but that she was knocked up. Their son was five now, and they had another baby on the way. Since then, he’d always come to her for advice.
“It did. So go on, tell me what’s bothering ‘Aunty Jean’?” He chuckled to himself. It was his son’s affectionate name for her. He knew it made her feel old, and he’d goad her with it when she was in a bad mood. She didn’t really want to get into it. Scott was a good friend, an old friend. But a part of her felt like she’d be breaking Jo’s confidence if she said anything. Then again, it’s not like Scott knew her, or had a big mouth.
“It’s complicated.”
Another shovel load of the smooth grey pebbles. “Complicated? That could be code for ‘lesbian four way’ or..’I’ve decided to join a cult’.”
She propped her shades on top of her head. Shaking her head at him, at his humour. “Joanne is a complicated woman.”
Though Jean hadn’t said anything, he noticed her routine had changed a bit in the last few weeks.
“Go on? She seemed nice? Maybe a bit well..unfriendly. But she is a copper.”
Jean was digging with a hand shovel, potting in delicate plants then clearing a space for the next. “Yeah, she’s..I vowed a long time ago not to get involved with straight women. Only leads to trouble.”
Scott paused. Involved. That sounded serious.
“What happened between you guys? You haven’t said anything.”
She chose her words carefully, to avoid certain follow up questions. “We’ve been spending time together. She’s questioning herself for it.”
His eyebrows shot up toward his sandy hair and he grinned. “You got lucky with ‘Officer Sexy’? Wait..I thought you said she was straight?”
“I thought she was. So did Jo. She’s confused.”
OK. That made sense, kinda, and she called her Jo, not Joanne. Jean was his friend, he tried to force his brain out of testosterone overload. “So she’s not into relationships and she doesn’t want to dick you around?”
She stopped what she was doing, reaching over for her water. “I guess in a way. She’s straight, she was married, they’re over. She’s never been involved with a woman before. Like I said, complicated.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. I’m worried it’s going to end badly. Maybe I should cut my losses before I invest too much?”
Sometimes Scott would leave the manly stuff behind, and just be thoughtful, he rested a gloved hand on her shoulder. “It sounds like you really like her. Maybe she really likes you too?”
She smiled. “I do really like her. She’s a good person. That’s the problem.”
With a drawn out sigh as he thought to himself. “Maybe you should get naked with her? Show her that she’s got nothing to be scared of? Then you should put it on YouTube.”
And there it was again. “Scott, get back to work. You’re no fucking Dr Phil.”
He put his hands up in surrender, but knew she wasn’t serious by the tone of her voice.
Jean sighed as she watched Scott spread the rocks over the garden bed, being careful to avoid the green newly potted plants. Things had been heated between her and Jo yesterday. The patient, thoughtful side of her almost gave way to her more immediate desires. Jo would have likely reacted badly if she’d been a bit more brazen. As much as her hand had wanted to slip inside Joanne’s jacket. It was clear that they would be moving forward, if at all, only on the blonde woman’s terms.
A younger her would have been frustrated, but Jean really did care about her, she didn’t like to see her hurting. At least Jean would never hurt her deliberately, it made her even angrier to think about what Jo had put up with.
The idea of getting closer to the Officer was certainly appealing. But she didn’t want to be an experiment, a blip in the woman’s experience, a stepping stone between boyfriends. Somehow she didn’t think Jo thought of her that way. Even their passionate exchange on the policewoman’s sofa had been laden with trust and affection.
She would give her time, hopefully Jo wouldn’t have second thoughts.
Chapter 17
Every day she’d put it off. The call.
A little over a week had flown by, each time she picked up the phone a little voice told her to put it away, to busy herself with something else.
It was Wednesday evening, she was at her mother’s house with her little girl. Annabelle was dressed for bed, little fluffy pink pyjamas with kittens all over them. Her mother was out, seeing friends, playing rummy. Now was as good a time as any. She shouldn’t put it off any longer.
Seven thirty p.m., hopefully she would be home.
Jo’s fingertips found the contact on her phone, waiting for the ring. It rang out, Jean’s answering message kicking in. She hung up, a part of her secretly happy she could put the conversation off a little longer.
Within a few seconds her phone rang. Joanne answered. “Hello?”
Jean sounded a little out of breath. “Joanne, Hi. Sorry I missed your call, I was upstairs.”
She leant back further into the couch, Annabelle was playing with her toys on the rug. “That’s OK, how was your day?
” Small talk to ease in.
She heard the sound of the older woman walking over the floorboards, of a door closing, a tinkle of chimes outside. “Not bad. Small jobs mostly. Got home a little while ago, just came in from feeding the horses. You?” There was a warmth in Jean’s voice.
“Stuck behind a desk most of the day, paperwork. Now I’m with my little girl before she goes to bed.” Her daughter’s blue eyes looked up at her, then she went back to knocking over blocks.
“Jean, do you have a moment to talk?”
“Sure.” She sounded worried.
Joanne took a deep breath. “Jean I..I need to know what this is?” There was fragility in her voice, as much as she tried to hide it.
There was a silence for a moment. “What do you want it to be?”
The blonde’s brows furrowed. “I don’t know. Right now I’m confused as hell. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what you want from me.”
A squeak of leather, Jean was probably sitting down in the lounge room, she was sure she saw a modern looking leather recliner in there. A thin black padded one with a beech wood spine running down the back. The fire would probably be going.
“Jo, I don’t want anything from you. I like spending time with you?”
“I like spending time with you too.”
Jean’s voice was gentle in her ear. “Doesn’t have to be anything more than that if you don’t want it to be. I like you Jo, I’m attracted to you, you know that already. But I don’t expect anything from you.”
That was kind of a relief. “I’m..fond of you too. I just..I’m not comfortable with..”
“..Jo?”
She brushed her hair off her face, the blonde strands against her temple. “Yes?”
“How about we take this as it comes? I like being around you, and I think you feel the same way. I’d like to get to know you. No strings, no obligations.”
The policewoman thought about that for a moment. Her daughter was pawing at her hand, murmuring, wanting help onto the couch. “Hang on Jean, Annabelle wants me.” She put down the phone, helping the toddler up.