by April Worth
She tried to seem casual, despite how suspicious her appearance must seem. “Jo had a really difficult day at work yesterday, we’re friends, I wanted to see if she was OK.”
Kerry released the value on the hose, shutting off the water for quiet. Her lips pressed together, her focus changing. “Is she all right?”
Jean crossed her arms over her chest, shifting her weight on her feet. “I think so, she had to be on scene for a bad accident. She can tell you more about it.”
“Oh. But she’s OK?”
“I think so.”
Kerry nodded, a pause, watering flowers. “She has a difficult job to do, I couldn’t do it.”
Jean shook her head. “Me either, she’s very brave and doesn’t give herself credit.”
Kerry looked at her quietly, her eyes flitting over Jean’s unruly hair. “Jo keeps to herself, but I know things have been difficult for her. She needs people that care.”
It was hard for Jean not to respond with some assurance, wanting to reassure the protective young woman of her good intentions. Instead she just nodded. The blonde was still getting used to the newness of their relationship. It wasn’t her place to announce it to the world.
The dimpled brunette looked at her with piercing eyes. “So you two are..close?”
Jean nodded slowly, the question made her wary. “As you know she’s a very private person. I’m lucky to be her friend.”
Kerry nodded, turning back to the task at hand. “I worry about her sometimes..” Jean found herself on the receiving end of a pointed look. “She has a big heart.”
I know. I’ve seen it. “She does.”
The mother resumed her watering, eyeing her. “Funny though..she’s seemed really happy the last couple months..I can’t figure out why?” She was giving Jean a sly grin. Joanne had said that she’d met someone, but as far as Kerry could remember, no new suitors were knocking at the door. Now it made sense.
“Must be the weather.” Jean looked around, doing her best impersonation of a cat not caught with the canary.
The smiling face looked back at her. “Yeah..must be.”
A last flicker of Kerry’s eyes over her as there was a sound from across the yard. The young mother’s little boy accompanied by the bounding puppy, they both turned to look.
Jean smiled at her, edging toward Jo’s front door, the younger woman gave her one last knowing glance. “OK, well I’ll let you get back to it. Say hello for me OK?”
“I will.”
Kerry called to her when she was almost back at the door. “Jean, I hope to see you around more often, OK?”
Jean smiled back, waving. Shit, did she just wink at me?
A click of the door closing and she made her way back inside. Soft footsteps over the tiles, deep in thought, tapping the paper against her thigh absently as she walked. She found Joanne in the kitchen, spreading jam across lightly buttered toast for her daughter.
The blonde looked at her and smiled. “Got what you needed?”
“Yes, clean change of clothes..but..Kerry noticed me.”
Jo leant her hip against the bench top, crossing her arms defensively, her eyes worried. “What did she say? Did you talk to her?” She looked down at the floor, blinking, realising that Kerry would have seen Jean’s car. The car that had been parked there all night.
“Just that you had a bad day yesterday, I was here supporting you as a friend.”
The tall blonde’s brow arched up. She nodded, tensing her lips. “I really don’t want things to be awkward. Shit. Did she believe you?” Her grey eyes searching her.
Jean reached out and rested her hand on her arm. “I’m not sure how convincing I was. Even though I wasn’t lying, I am here to support you. But, she didn’t seem to care, she was more concerned if you were OK..and she winked at me.”
The blonde’s long fingertips drummed softly on the counter, a naked, vulnerable look on her face. “Damn it. I should have thought about this more. I could have asked you to take a cab.” Insecurity seeped through into her voice.
The brunette’s lip quirked, she huffed softly. “You’re kidding right?..Jo, are you ashamed of me?”
Jo tensed, then shook her head, still sorting through her thoughts. “Jean..I’m not ready for the judgemental looks, the stuff behind my back. I live here, she’s going to make this weird.”
“She won’t. She cares about you Jo, you’re her friend.”
She shook her head. “Jean..it’s easier for you.”
The older woman leant against the counter, watching the blonde pick up the plate and take it to her daughter.
“Easier for me? How is it easier for me?”
The blonde joined her again by the sink. “It’s easier for you because..well. You probably don’t get too many confused looks. People might assume you’re well..a lesbian.”
“Didn’t you once tell me that it annoyed you when people thought they had you figured out? Even before you opened your mouth?”
“That’s different, people presume I’m dumb, not gay.”
The brunette’s deep brown eyes were thoughtful. “You’d rather people thought you were dumb, than not straight?”
The policewoman sighed. “Maybe. At least it’s easy to prove them wrong, and less awkward.”
Jean blinked slowly. That was a revelation. “So who do you want me to be Joanne?”
The tall woman stopped her tidying to look at her. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I care about you. I want to spend time with you, do I always have to worry that I need to hide it?”
Joanne sighed softly. “Jean, you knew this was going to be difficult for me. You said no strings? Remember?”
Can’t turn off these feelings. “I do. I do. But that was before Joanne. A lot’s happened since then.”
The grey eyes were looking back at her intently, emotions shifting, bleeding. “Jo, sweetheart, what are you so scared of?”
Blonde brows furrowed. “Being treated differently. Being labelled. You don’t understand. I thought you did, but you don’t.”
Jean reached out to take her hand, wanting to soothe her concern. “Honey, I hardly said anything to her, I know it’s not my place. I don’t want anyone to treat you differently.”
Jo shook her head. “But they will. Kerry probably thinks all kinds of things about me now.”
Jean closed the distance between them, resting her hands on her lover’s hips. “She’ll think that you have someone in your life that cares about you. Whether she thinks I’m your friend, or your lover, that doesn’t matter. I can be both. Sweetheart she doesn’t care, otherwise she wouldn’t have said I should come around more often.” She rubbed comforting circles with her thumbs.
“She said that?” Jo was giving her that worried look again.
“Yeah. She’s very protective of you Jo, she cares about you a lot. Made that clear when I was over there.”
Jean felt the blonde relax a little under her hands, watched her take a breath. Jo spoke softly. “I was afraid this might happen.”
“Joanne, I don’t know her like you do, but I’d put money on the fact that it wouldn’t bother her.”
“We’ll see.”
There was a timid knock at the door. Jo looked and sighed, rolling her eyes. “See?”
Long strides took her down the hallway. She unlatched the door to see her neighbour standing in front of the security screen. She opened the last door slowly, bracing herself, putting up her cool facade.
Kerry looked at her concerned. “Jo, I hear you had a bad day, it just so happens my garden is full of these gorgeous flowers.” She handed a small bushel to her across the threshold. Jo took them, not sure what to say.
“Uh, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Tell Jean the yard looks great by the way. Seeya.” Kerry smiled, turning on her heel and heading back across the lawn.
Jo stood still for a few moments, looking down at the flowers in her hands.
Chapter 33
An uneventful few days, a couple more evenings of nightmares disturbing her sleep, and the weekend had finally arrived. Despite her fears, her neighbour still smiled and waved at her when she left for work in the mornings.
Jo had driven up to Jean’s property Saturday afternoon with young Annabelle on the back seat. They were welcomed as always with a hug, a kiss on the cheek for her small daughter.
They stood under the eaves shortly after the pair arrived, Jean studied Jo’s expression as she watched the rain, the blonde turning to smile at her.
“What?”
The brunette smiled back. “Nothing. Just you. Here.”
Jo smiled to herself, her grey eyes taking on the silver of the clouds. They stood together on the porch. Jean reached out, rubbing Jo’s upper arms to stave off the cold. Feeling her tall companion shiver.
She decided to go one better, slipping off her own jacket and laying it over the blonde’s shoulders. Jo looked down at her and raised a tapered brow. Shaking her head as she tugged the warm fabric around herself. So old fashioned.
Annabelle had been playing nearby near the outdoor furniture. Jean felt a tug on her leg, it was becoming a familiar gesture. She looked down to see the little blonde toddler holding something up to her. Crouching so she was eye to eye, she turned the small smooth shape over in her hand. Jo watched the two of them with mild amusement.
“Do you know what this is Annabelle?” Little blue eyes watched her curiously, a shake of a blonde head.
Jean held it carefully in her tanned hand. “It’s an egg, a honey-eater by the looks..” She turned it over, looking at it through the light. “..Must have been blown out of the nest.”
Her gentle eyes returned to the toddler. “You know, if we put a little box together, and make it warm..it might even hatch?”
Blue eyes sparkled at her with interest. She returned the egg to the toddler’s hand. “OK sweetie. You be real careful with that, and I’ll find something to put it in.” A little ruffle of the blonde hair, and Jean was heading inside.
Jo watched her through the open French doors of the kitchen as the older woman headed up stairs. Annabelle studied the egg in her hand as though it might hatch in front of her at any moment. She reached out stroking the child’s hair affectionately.
“You like her huh?”
Her daughter smiled back, engrossed in her discovery.
The tall woman mused, looking down at the now dewy grass. She leant her shoulder against the weathered wood of the verandah post. The three of them were a good fit. It had surprised her how easily Jean had accepted her daughter, but she supposed that made sense, the older woman certainly doted on Alex, Scott’s young son. On their visits here Annabelle often got treated to French toast and early morning cartoons.
She had rarely come across same-sex parents before, and the concept always struck her as having something missing. It had occurred to her lately how different she and Jean were, but how well they worked together. It seemed between the two of them they had a lot to offer. The blonde woman stopped herself with a chiding internal slap. Parenting? You’ve only known her a couple of months, are you crazy? What if this doesn’t work out, and Annabelle gets attached? And what about Owen?
It made her frown.
Jean returned from inside a short while later carrying a small square box with a bit of pillow stuffing and rag. She sat down nearby on the outdoor rattan, Jo’s daughter made her way over with quick excited footsteps, cupping the small off-white egg in both hands.
Jo watched the two of them, the brunette filled the box with the soft lining, before holding it out to the child who deposited the fallen egg with the utmost care. It made her smile, at least she taught her something right.
The brunette grinned. “OK honey, take that inside and sit it somewhere safe, we’ll put it under the lamp when we go back in.” The child took off inside, prompting Jo to call out to her, reminding her not to run.
The two women shared an amused chuckle.
“You’re good with her.” Observed Jo, looking up at the nearby eucalypts that swayed gently in the wind, storm clouds were clearing.
“She’s very well behaved. No trouble at all. Besides, it’s nice to have laughter in the house.”
The policewoman nodded. Indeed it was, it was a scary feeling, but she was starting to feel more at home here than her own little house in the suburbs. It made her feel a little out of control, the rate at which she was so easily adapting to this life. She had never felt more welcome. Sometimes she hesitated in coming here, it got harder to leave.
“I can see you thinking again Joanne.” Dark eyes smiled at her. A gentle touch ran along her arm, twining their fingers.
How does she always know?
Jo’s cell phone chimed in her pocket. Burring with vibration as a call was received. Jo pulled it out of her pants, looking at the caller. She glanced at Jean, who had already turned to head back inside.
“Myers.”
A dispatch voice confirmed her badge number and name, then spoke to her in a businesslike manner.
Jo went inside to find Jean in the living room, putting on a cartoon for her daughter to watch. She stood in the doorway, watching the brunette, her brows drawn and frowning.
“Jean?”
The older woman turned to her, her head tilting in attention.
“I have to go. I’ve been called in, something important.”
“Oh? OK.” She sounded concerned.
“Can you help me pack up her things?” Jo watched the little girl who looked up at her, having picked up on the conversation. The blonde sighed. “I’ll drop her off at my mother’s on the way there.”
Jean walked to her, resting her hands on Jo’s hips. “Sure. You know, I don’t mind keeping an eye on her?”
The blonde considered it for a moment, she was unsure. Sure, she trusted Jean, but it was new territory. She gave her a cautious look. “I might be out half the night. You sure you can handle that? She can be a handful.”
The brunette nodded. “You don’t know handful until you’ve minded Alex. That kid is a walking cyclone. She’s no trouble Jo, I don’t mind.”
The policewoman had contemplated the suggestion, after a few more questions. Again checking if it wasn’t an inconvenience. She had thought that Annabelle might prefer to visit her grandmother, but she seemed quite content to watch cartoons.
A puckering of her lips before she agreed, she was about to give Jean emergency numbers when the brunette laughed and waved her away.
The two of them watched the policewoman get into her car. Her cheeks peppered with her daughter’s kisses. Jo drove slowly away, Annabelle had already been drawn to the colourful flowers by the porch.
Four p.m. rolled around as slowly as the clouds across the sky. The rain had stopped, leaving the fresh scent and dew behind. After exploring outside, Annabelle was scheduled for her afternoon nap. The child now slept quietly in Jean’s guest bed upstairs. The woman took the opportunity to work out what to feed her later. Jo was a stickler for nutrition. Jean rummaged through the crisper, managing to throw something together with rice and a few other ingredients.
She sliced the pumpkin into smaller pieces, humming to herself. A high pitched squeal and cry from the bedroom upstairs made the bowl drop and smash onto the floor. The brunette was scaling the stairs almost three at a time. She ran to the guest room, intercepting the howling child in the hall. Little hands pressed against her ear, she was crying, terrible sobs and a strangled wail. Jean dropped to her knees, not sure what was wrong. The child was hollering for her mother.
“Shhh. Shhh. Sweetie, what’s wrong? What’s wrong?” Her hands were already checking her over, thinking she’d been bitten by something. Dark eyes wide and worried.
Annabelle sucked in a wet sob, pressing her hand hard against her head. “Hurts. Hurts.” her eyes pained and teary.
She wasn’t sure what to make of that, the child’s movements were erratic, but she was obviously suffering. A headache? An
earache? A muscle spasm? Spider bite? She wasn’t sure. There was one likely thing that might quiet her a moment. Jean slid her arms around the little girl, hugging her gently. The blonde child rested her head on her shoulder and muffled sobs into her neck. The little cries quieted to sniffles, Jo’s daughter still had her little hand pressed to her ear.
Jean looked at the sad blue eyes, pulling back to stroke her cheek. “OK darling, I’ll take you to the doctor, it won’t hurt anymore? OK?”
***
It had been easier than she anticipated, bundling the girl into her ute. She had only put up a fight sitting her in the seat. She was used to her clip in carrier, they would just have to make do. A click of the seat belt over her, an adjustment for her smaller size. She would have exceeded the speed limit on the quiet road if it were just her. But the trip would be quick enough, Jo wouldn’t want her put in danger, between the occasional kangaroo and the winding bends. They arrived safely, the child had quieted during the ride. Quick sneakered steps, the automatic doors opened with a soft hiss, Annabelle on her hip. Jean’s eyes were drawn to the friendly receptionist behind the counter.
“Hello. New patient?”
Jean nodded toward the little girl. “She is. I’m not.”
Studious eyes looked up at her, smiling. “Is this your daughter?”
Jean shook her head and smiled, her head turning to look at the little girl. “No. My girlfriend’s daughter, I’m baby sitting.”
“I see, should I put you down as her guardian then?” She retrieved a clipboard and pen. Annabelle looked around the waiting room, gripping her shoulder. An aquarium of colourful fish caught her eye.
Jean pulled the clipboard toward her on the counter. “Sure.”
She entered as much information as she knew, remembering the date of the girl’s birthday was a small win for her memory. She made a mental note, it was only three weeks away.
Annabelle gripped her harder, burying her head in the crook of her neck as she grizzled. “Ouch.”