“But…didn’t you two date most of last year? After he got here, I mean?”
“Only for show. Because the Council insisted it was so important, I agreed to go along with it so they’d…um, for political reasons. But even they knew it wasn’t real. So did Sean.”
It wasn’t just for show as far as Sean was concerned, though. I’ve seen how he looks at M, how he talks about her. But if it’s really true she’s been upfront with him all along…?
“The, uh, guys said—”
“I know. Everyone at school thinks we were a couple. That was the point. We even convinced Bri and Deb. But Sean knows better. So does Molly. If you don’t want to ask him, ask her.”
Her incredible eyes are pleading with me, willing me to believe. And I want to. So much. Too much.
“Why weren’t you willing to go with him for real? I mean, he’s a great guy and all, and—”
“Haven’t you figured that out yet, Rigel?” Her perfect mouth twists into a wistful half-smile. “Because of you.”
I swallow, hard. It’s what I was hoping, dying to hear, but I can’t seem to make myself believe it. Because I don’t remember it. Except in that dream…
“You said the arboretum was a…a special place of ours. Did we ever go there in the winter?”
“We did! It was winter the very last time we were there before leaving for Ireland. Did you have one of your flashes about it?”
“Not a flash, exactly. A dream.”
“Really?” She leans toward me eagerly. “What did you dream? Was I in it?”
“I, uh, don’t remember exactly.” Even if it was a real memory, no way can I bring myself to tell her the details. “Just that it was the same place but with snow.”
She raises an eyebrow like she can tell I’m fudging. “Still, it’s great that you remember even that much. And on Saturday you did say the arboretum seemed familiar. Have you had that feeling about any other place? Or person?”
I shake my head. “Not yet. Not even my room at home. Well, except… You didn’t happen to give me a crystal hanging thing for my birthday last year, did you?”
“Rigel!” Her green eyes sparkle with excitement. “I did! You are starting to remember!”
“Not really. I just thought, since I hung it right over my bed, that maybe it was, I dunno, important to me.”
Though she looks slightly disappointed, she’s still smiling. “I think maybe it was. Then, anyway.” She stares at me thoughtfully for several seconds. “You know, there is one other place that was just as special to us as the arboretum, maybe even more so.”
“Yeah?” If visiting the arboretum jogged loose real memories in the form of dreams, would another “special” place unlock more? “Where? Can you show me? Or at least tell me?”
“It’s not far—from the school, I mean. But…” She bites her lip, then glances up at the clock on the wall. The period is more than half over. “I don’t think there’s time now, unless you can skip football practice?”
“It wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the team. Coach makes everybody do laps if just one person’s a couple minutes late. How about tomorrow? Maybe at lunch, or we could ask Ms. Raymond for a pass? Say we’re going to the media center?” I’m definitely willing to risk getting into trouble myself for a chance to finally remember something concrete.
“Tomorrow, then.” She grins at me and my heart speeds up. “It’s a date.”
* * *
I can barely concentrate over the next twenty-four hours. Football practice, homework that night, classes the next day—they’re all a blur, I’m so keyed up at the idea of a “date” with M.
Not a real date, I keep telling myself. I don’t dare think of it as a real date. She probably just wants to show me a classroom or some other corner of the school we sometimes went. There might even be other people there. Which would definitely be safer.
But the way she smiles at me in our classes together makes me think safety might be overrated.
Still, I can’t completely ignore Reasons One, Four and Five for why we can’t be together. Reason Six I’m less sure about. Hard to argue M can’t be good for me when touching her or even being near her makes me stronger, faster, healthier. But she is the Sovereign. And my folks are worried about something.
After Weight Training—where I again avoid Sean by sticking to the machines—I change in record time and hurry to last period. M greets me at the door with a big smile.
“Come on. I suggested our story idea to Ms. Raymond and she gave me passes so we can go research whether the school has enough handicapped parking and other accommodations for disabled people.”
Since the teacher’s watching, I play along. “Oh. Good. I, uh, looked up the guidelines online last night.”
I accompany M out of the room and down the hall, waiting till we’re around the first corner to whisper, “So where are we really going?”
“You’ll see.” She slants a smiling glance up at me and my heart starts to race. Maybe because we’re walking so quickly.
She leads me through the school and out the doors on the side opposite the football field, then into the parking lot—where there are six handicapped spots.
“Should I, uh, snap a pic of the spots with my phone or something? Just to make it look good?”
“She’ll send Jeremy out for proper pictures if we run the story. Which we probably won’t, unless Jewel really does fall short of the standards.”
Still, just in case anyone’s looking out a window or something, I take a couple shots of the spaces and signs. M’s already crossing the lot, heading straight for the cornfield that borders it. I catch up just as she reaches the first row of towering stalks.
“Wait, we’re going in there? Into the corn?”
Instead of answering, she heads between the stalks and holds out a hand to me. “You’re not afraid, are you?”
Afraid, no. Nervous, yes. But she’s practically daring me, so I take her hand—and suddenly I’m not even nervous any more. Just excited. “Lead on.”
She does. For more than five minutes we make our way through the tall green stalks. I wonder how she can possibly find her way when we can’t see more than six feet in front of us. I only realize she was worried about that herself when she breathes a sigh of relief. “Oh, good! I was right.”
We step out of the corn into a little clearing that’s completely screened from all sides. In the middle of the clearing is a huge gray rock surrounded by scrub grass and a scattering of wildflowers. That sense of déjà vu hits me again, even stronger than in the arboretum.
M turns to me, eyes wide and hopeful. But anxious. “Well?”
Slowly, I look around, trying to decipher all the conflicting emotions surging through me. “That rock. Did we…ever sit on it? Together?” It isn’t a memory, exactly. More a certainty. I know the answer before she nods.
“Lots of times. The first time, when you first showed me this clearing, we sat there while you explained all about our bond and why some people wouldn’t approve.”
“I told you?” It sounded so backward.
“I’d only just learned, well, everything. From you and your parents. Then there was this whole interview and test thing at your house, with Scientists and some of the Echtran Council, to prove who I was once and for all. It was the next day that you brought me here.”
She gives me a wistful smile, like it’s a good memory. I wish I could share it with her.
“It must have been weird, having so much stuff thrown at you, stuff that had to be really hard to believe. You must have thought I was crazy when I told you—what did I tell you, exactly?”
Now she grins. “That you were a Martian. And yeah, I thought you were crazy. Or that Trina had put you up to playing a really mean prank on me, which was even worse. I’m not sure I totally believed you until your parents backed up your story, a couple of days later.”
I shake my head. “Hard to imagine what that must have been like for you.”
&nbs
p; “Probably no worse than what you’re going through now. Everybody knowing you, knowing more about you than you do. That has to be, well, awful.”
“Awkward, anyway. Especially the first few days.” I glance over at the big rock. “You want to sit down?”
M sucks in a little breath, then nods. We take the few steps to the rock, almost brushing hands, then sit down. Close, but not quite touching. Her brath seems to surround me, flow through me. I wonder if mine does the same to her.
“So, tell me more about the first time we ever came here. Sat here.”
Her cheeks get two or three shades pinker. “Well, um, like I said, you told me about some Martian political stuff and why you’d kind of kept your distance from me the evening before, at your house, with the Council and all there.”
I keep watching her, waiting for more, and she goes even redder.
“And we, um, kissed.”
My mouth goes suddenly dry. “We did?”
She nods. “Kind of a lot. It was our first real, er, makeout session.”
Then my dream… No, I still don’t quite have the guts to tell her about it. Instead, I ask, “I don’t suppose we were ever in a, uh, runaway car together? That crashed or nearly crashed?”
Her eyes get big. “Yes! Last fall, after a football game. One of Faxon’s people sabotaged my uncle’s car. We kept going faster and faster and he couldn’t stop—until you thought to use our, uh, electrical thing to short out the ignition. Just in time. You remembered that?”
“I dreamed it. It seemed too bizarre to be a real memory, but now—” Now I know it was. Which means that arboretum dream must have been real, too. Which means…
M leans in closer, drops her voice lower, even though we’re completely alone. “What else have you dreamed, Rigel? Will you tell me now?”
“I dreamed…this.” Even though I know there are way more than Six Reasons I shouldn’t, I lean in, too, until my lips touch hers.
That first time M touched me was intense but it was nothing compared to this. It’s like every cell in my body is expanding, exploding, shooting off fireworks. I have a sensation of falling. Automatically, my arms go around M for support—and her arms come around me, like she’s falling, too.
Our kiss deepens, just like my dream. And now it’s not a dream I’m remembering. I’m remembering exactly this, kissing M here, on this rock, in the cornfield. Kissing her in the arboretum. Kissing her before a football game. After a football game. In a car that doesn’t belong to either of us. And in a posh little living room that I somehow know is on a space ship.
Other memories surface, faster and faster and faster. The first day of school last year, when I met M and figured out who she was. Freaking out the next day, when we touched for the first time. This cornfield again, facing off against a whole bunch of Faxon’s forces, then M and me electrocuting that scary hovering sphere. And the whole time I’m kissing M and M’s kissing me and the world is becoming a better and better place.
Finally, she pulls back far enough that I can see the wonder on her face. “I…I think I’m getting your thoughts, Rigel, seeing what you’re seeing. You’re remembering! Aren’t you?”
“Yes!” I’m exultant now. Euphoric. “I remember you, I remember this, I remember everything! Most of all…I remember how much I love you, M.”
PART III
M
22
Parallel connection
M
I stared at Rigel, feeling like my heart might explode from happiness. “Everything? You really remember everything?”
Grinning, he nodded. “I think so. It’s like all the blanks just…filled in. First you. Us. Then everything else, in a big rush. Let’s see…” His arms still around me, he furrowed his gorgeous brow. “I remember Ireland, the Quintessence, getting to Mars, then my grandmother dragging me away. Getting sick from being apart, a bunch of tests, then that serum that helped. It helped you, too, right? On the news the next day, on that panel debate, you looked way better, even without Sean sitting next to you.”
I bit my lip. “I’m so sorry about that, Rigel. If I hadn’t agreed to let them do that memory extraction, none of this—”
He squeezed my shoulders with the arm he had around me. It felt wonderful. “Hey, I never blamed you for that. I saw how they trapped you on the air. You had no choice. And it must have worked, since you got Acclaimed two days later. In the nick of time to stop the Grentl from pulling the plug on Nuath. That was the most important thing then, remember?”
“I know. But when I found out they’d kept you in that Mind Healing facility all that time against your will…”
“So you got my message? I figured you didn’t, that it hadn’t worked, since—”
“Since I didn’t get you out of there?” Tears pricked my eyes. “That was my fault, Rigel! If I’d just checked my omni sooner, gotten your message in time… But I didn’t, not until you were already gone, after they’d already erased your memory.”
Rigel frowned, but not like he was mad. “Huh? Why—?”
“It was that other message! The one you didn’t really send but I thought you had.” Now he looked even more confused, so I blundered on. “It was the day after I got Acclaimed. I ordered your grandmother to bring you to the Palace—I didn’t know you were still at that facility—and then I got a video message from you, only it wasn’t really you. I mean, they faked it. But it looked so real…”
“What did it say?”
“That…that you’d decided to have the last year erased from your memory and go back to Earth, without me, for the good of Nuath and because you couldn’t handle seeing me with Sean. That you didn’t want me to come after you. I mean, it was your face and your voice saying those things. But I should never have believed you’d really leave me like that, have me erased from your life, on purpose.”
I swallowed. Even knowing it was never real, the memory of that awful video still had the power to make my heart ache.
Rigel obviously sensed my pain. “Hey.” He gave me another squeeze. “It was probably a way better fake than that picture Trina had on her phone last spring. Which I believed even though you told me you hadn’t done anything. You forgave me anyway, remember? That video must be why Devyn and Gordon asked me all those questions—so they could use my voice and face. Convince you it was all my idea. That must have been awful for you.”
“I…kind of fell apart,” I admitted. “Believe it or not, it was Sean who helped me pull myself together in time to stop the Grentl. He’s also the one who figured out that message was fake.” I didn’t mention when Sean figured it out. He and Rigel were getting along so well now, I didn’t want to undermine that.
“I guess I’m glad he was there, then. But I hate that they used me to hurt you like that. So it was Mr. O, along with Devyn and Gordon who decided to wipe my memory in the first place?”
I nodded. “Nels Murdoch, too. And…your grandmother.”
His jaw clenched for a moment, then he deliberately relaxed it. “Well, I have it back now. All except the part between getting shoved back into that memory contraption and waking up in Ireland, not knowing what the hell happened. What did, exactly?”
It took all my self control not to throw myself at him again instead of answering, I was so relieved he wasn’t mad at me. “A lot, but… Oh, Rigel! You’re back! You’re really back! You can’t imagine how much I missed you. In some ways, it was even worse after I finally made it back to Jewel. Because you weren’t quite you.”
“I wasn’t. But I am now, M. The same guy who loves you more than life.”
And then we were kissing again and I was happier than I’d been since last fall, since before the O’Garas showed up in Jewel and my life got so complicated.
Unfortunately, my life was still complicated and we couldn’t stay hidden in the cornfield, kissing, forever, much as I wished we could. After several more ecstatic minutes, I regretfully pulled away from Rigel again, my fingers twined through his.
; “I guess I should at least start bringing you up to speed, huh? Though it’ll take hours to tell you everything.”
“I’d rather do this.” He wore that crooked smile I loved so much. Had missed so much. “But yeah, I guess you should. Like, how did you manage to stop the Grentl? I take it you got to that device of theirs and used it?”
“I had help, mainly from Eric Eagan, remember him?”
Rigel nodded.
“He was literally on his deathbed but insisted on coming to the Palace to show me what to do.” I went on to describe how Eric led me to the device and showed me how to use it. Then I told Rigel about the device itself, how it bombarded me with images and sucked my own memories out of me.
“So it was totally bizarre, but it worked. They didn’t cut the power. Except then the Grentl activated the device again to say they were coming, which kind of panicked Mr. O and the others, especially Nels.” I’d still been too devastated about Rigel leaving me to panic, but I didn’t add that.
“The Grentl said they were coming? To Nuath? So did they?”
“No. A few days later, I sent them a report, an update on the colony that my grandfather helped me put together, since it had been almost fifty years since the last one. And then they said they didn’t need to come after all.”
“Wait. Your grandfather? You mean—?”
I shook my head. “Sorry, I’m not explaining very well, but there’s just so much. There’s this Archive and it has the stored memories and personalities and everything of previous Sovereigns, including my grandfather, Leontine. So even though Faxon really did murder him, he was still able to help me a lot. I know this probably all sounds crazy.”
“A little,” he admitted. “So what happens if the Grentl send another message, while you’re here on Earth? There’s not another launch window for like, two years.”
“Oh! It turns out the device is portable, so I brought it with me. According to Sovereign Aerleas—and Shim confirmed it—the quantum entanglement technology they use has nothing to do with the physical location of the device. I’m keeping it at the O’Garas’ house, since there’s no place in mine I can be sure my aunt won’t go snooping. My Scepter, too—that’s what activates the Archives.”
Starfall: A Starstruck Novel Page 20