by Sarah Price
Katie looked at her husband and frowned. “Think she’s working too hard. Never heard of a man who had his wife work alongside him so much.”
Both Jonas and Sylvia looked at her. It wasn’t like Katie to speak out against someone and her words seemed too harsh. And with that, Sylvia knew that she could never tell her parents about Jake’s unexpected trip to Connecticut. Certainly her mamm would not understand nor would she approve. The pit in Sylvia’s stomach tightened and she felt ill. She just prayed that Jake would return in time for Steve’s wedding. There would be too many questions if he didn’t.
She left her parents’ farm in the early afternoon, heading back along the road. A few cars passed her as she walked. As each one passed, she caught her breath, hoping that perhaps…But they were just cars. None of them were Jake’s truck. She scolded herself. After all, he had said a week and it had only been ten days.
It was the next morning that Sylvia knew she could no longer avoid the inevitable. If she waited any longer, the winter wheat would not be planted. She needed to get that seed in the ground, even if it meant doing it by herself. She knew that she would be busy the following week, baking food for her brother’s wedding. The time to plant was almost gone and she couldn’t wait any longer for Jake’s return.
So, as soon as she had milked the cows, she hurried out to the fields and looked at the empty rows of plowed dirt. Somehow, she thought, she needed to do this one thing. She tried to suppress her anger and hurt that Jake had not returned on time nor had he written to her. But she knew that there was nothing she could do about it. Typically, she had helped her father and brothers with the planting. She had never seen her father do it alone. But this time, Sylvia knew that she had no choice unless she confessed to her parents that Jake had virtually abandoned her.
The sun was barely rising over the ridge when Sylvia headed into the mule shed. She stared at the two mules and took a deep breath. “Ach vell, girls,” she said. “I need your co-operation today, ja? It is just the three of us and we have a long day ahead.”
She spent the day spreading manure along the plowed rows, using the mules to pull the manure spreader. It was hard work to fill the spreader with a shovel and, by the end of each day, she was sore and her hands were callused. On Friday, she drove the plow along the rows to create deeper furrows. By Saturday, she managed to walk the ten acres, manually tossing wheat seeds into the furrows. And, as the sun was setting that night, she had just finished filling in the furrows so that the wheat could grow. The work was hard but she was thankful that she was able to do it. It kept her mind from the fact that Jake’s absence would soon be more than two weeks.
The following week, she spent her time at her own home cooking as much as she could to help her mother. Even though the wedding would be held at Emma’s house, with so many people attending, there would be a great need for coleslaw, bread, pies, and cooked beans. Sylvia was thankful that Jake had left her some money so that she could buy any supplies that she needed at the market. She hoped and prayed that Jake would return in time for the wedding but as the week wore on, she became more concerned that he would not make it.
As she kneaded the bread, she felt tears springing to her eyes. How would she explain his absence if he didn’t show up? Had he forgotten about Steve’s wedding? The more time that she spent alone, the more her mind crafted new, creative reasons why he would not return.
It was the morning of Steve’s wedding. She woke up early, feeling ill. Jake was not there and she found herself embracing the fact that he was not going to return that day. She’d have to face her family and their questions. The shame was almost too great a burden. They would blame her for having married outside of the faith. They would think poorly of Jake. It would certainly strain their relationship with her husband. She went through the motion of milking the cows and graining the horses before she turned them out for the day. She was tired. No, she thought, I’m exhausted. All she wanted to do was crawl back into bed. But she knew that she had to rely on her faith to get her through this day.
The wedding service would begin at 8:30 in the morning so Sylvia hurried through the morning milking and feeding. She decided that the stall cleaning could wait. After all, she needed to get cleaned up and dressed before heading over to Emma’s parents’ farm. She put on her burgundy Amish dress and prayer kapp. She was too tired to care if anyone raised an eyebrow that she still wore Amish clothing. She held her head high as she loaded the wagon full of the food she had made and slapped the reins on the horse’s back to start the thirty minute drive.
When she arrived, she was thankful that some of the Amish youths were standing by, eager to help her carry the boxes of food into the house while one of the men took care of her horse. The sun had barely risen over the horizon and the sky was a beautiful rosy orange. Sylvia took a deep breath and headed into the house, knowing that the questions would certainly be asked as to why her Englischer husband had not accompanied her. All night, she had tossed and turned, wondering how she would answer. Finally, she had determined that the truth was the best. She would acknowledge that he had left two and a half weeks ago and had yet to return.
In the crowd, Sylvia looked for her family. Her mother and father were seated near the front of the church room. Shana stood in the back of the room with Noah, Hannah, and five week old baby, Isaac. Sylvia squeezed her way to stand next to her sister-in-law.
“Wie gehts,” she whispered into Shana’s ear.
Shana stared at her sister-in-law for a moment as if trying to place something in her mind. Her eyes seemed to be staring at her, seeing her in a different light and, for just a brief moment, Sylvia was fearful that her expression gave away the angst that she had been feeling. But, when Shana smiled, Sylvia was relieved. There would be no questions just yet.
Instead, Shana’s face lit up and she reached for Sylvia’s hand. “Oh Sylvia! It’s so good to see you! It’s so exciting, isn’t it?”
Sylvia nodded, suddenly feeling the urge to cry and confide in Shana. But she knew that this wasn’t the time nor the place. “Ja, I’m so happy for Steve and Emma. I wish them many blessed years.”
Shana frowned for a moment then leaned closer to Sylvia so that no one could hear. “I mean about the baby.”
Now it was Sylvia’s turn to frown. “What baby?”
Shana’s expression changed from genuine delight to surprise. “Why, yours! You are expecting, ja?”
For a moment, the room seemed to spin around. Pieces of the puzzle came whirling together. What she had thought was exhaustion from working so hard was the onset of a pregnancy. She had woken up ill for so many days but thought it was because of Jake’s disappearance. She had barely been able to eat anything but thought it was because of being too tired to cook. Yet, as she thought about it, she had not lost weight but, in fact, she had gained it. And her monthly course had not come for months. In fact, she suddenly realized, she hadn’t had it since before her marriage to Jake.
Sylvia gasped and clutched at Shana’s arm. “Oh,” she exclaimed and several people turned around to look at her.
Shana laughed, trying to be quiet but found it difficult, given the realization that Sylvia hadn’t known. She shook her head and patted Sylvia’s arm. “I suppose I am the first to congratulate you,” she whispered then, with one last smile, she turned her attention back to the sermon that would be held before the ceremony to wed Steve and Emma.
The sermon seemed to drag on for hours. Sylvia stood by Shana’s side, trying to digest what her sister-in-law had just told her. Was it possible that she had been so preoccupied that she didn’t even notice the changes to her own body? Clearly she had gained enough weight that Shana noticed right away.
Sylvia tried to count backwards and realized that she was probably just over three months pregnant. A baby, she thought. She wanted to be happy but it was hard without Jake by her side. Would she be forced to have this baby alone? Would Jake ever return? Why hadn’t he at least written to her? The
questions raced through her mind and she knew that, if she didn’t sit down soon, she might just collapse from the shock.
There was a break in the sermon when Bishop Peachey took Steve and Emma into another room to talk about the responsibilities of marriage. During that time, the congregation sang several songs. Leah managed to work her way over to Sylvia and gave her a hug. They were standing at the back of the room, near the door in case Shana’s baby cried. Leah held Sylvia’s hand and smiled.
“It’s so wunderbaar gut to see you!” she whispered. “You simply disappeared, Sylvia.”
Sylvia nodded, leaning supportively against her friend. “I suppose that’s what happens when one marries outside the church,” she replied, her voice soft and sad.
Leah looked around. “Where is this fancy Englischer you married?”
Sylvia fought the tears that came to her eyes. She was about to reply when Shana pinched her softly, reminding her that, even if it wasn’t Sunday, they were supposed to be singing and worshipping with the rest of the guests. Leah smiled and waved her hand at Sylvia, returning to her place a few rows ahead of where Sylvia stood with the other women with young children.
There was a cold breeze coming in from the door near where they stood. It was a welcome relief as the room was increasingly warm. She felt tired and leaned against the wall. She was so thankful that she was standing and not seated on those hard benches. Sylvia tried to sing along with the rest of the community of guests. The song was sung slowly in High German. She knew the words from years of listening to them but she was having a hard time singing them. Her attention was elsewhere. Her hand rested on her belly. Yes, indeed, she could feel the swell beneath her fingers now. She couldn’t believe that she hadn’t known…hadn’t even suspected.
Someone laid a hand on her arm. Her thoughts interrupted, she turned her head, wondering who was trying to get her attention. She didn’t want to get reprimanded again by Shana. But when she turned, she found herself looking up at the tall man standing next to her. She gasped and reached out, the tears suddenly spilling from her eyes.
“Jake!” she whispered hoarsely.
Again, several people turned around, frowning at the disturbance. Sylvia didn’t care. Part of her wanted to hug him while the other part wished she could tell him what she really thought. The conflict of emotions flooded through her and it was all she could do to stand there silently.
But Jake put a finger to his lips, slipping his arm protectively around her waist. She stared at him, concerned because, despite the handsome black suit that he wore, he looked thin and pale. But she didn’t care. The anger and disappointment that she had felt seemed to disappear. He had returned. He had remembered Steve’s wedding, knew how important it was to Sylvia that they attend together, and he had returned. The pain of the past few weeks vanished so easily now that she was filled with such joy and relief at Jake’s sudden appearance at her side.
It wasn’t until after the ceremony when the crowd began to gather for the celebration common meal that Sylvia had a chance to escape outside with Jake. He shut the door behind them and, when he turned, he reached for Sylvia and pulled her into his arms. She melted against him, the sob that had been building finally escaped from her throat. She couldn’t speak but cried against his shoulder. He let her cry, holding her tightly and rocking her gently to calm her sorrow.
“I’m so sorry, Sylvia,” he whispered. “You have no idea what I have been through, where I have been, and how I have fought to get back here.”
She wiped at her eyes and looked up at him. “You didn’t even write,” she whispered.
“I didn’t even write,” he acknowledged with guilt in his voice.
“I thought you had abandoned me,” she confessed.
“How could you think that?” he asked firmly.
“You said you’d be back in a week,” she said. “I was so worried, Jake. I didn’t know what to do.”
The door opened and several men filed out. They glanced at the couple standing by the door. Jake smiled at the men and turned to Sylvia. “I’ll explain later. For now, let’s go enjoy ourselves. It’s your brother’s day and an important one for us, too.” He looked around, certain that no one was looking before he leaned down and gently placed a kiss on her forehead.
Inside, Steve and Emma were seated at the corner table. They were served first and many of the guest gathered around the worship area while the first group of guests sat at the benches, eating food after filing past the buffet table. Emma’s mother and sisters were busy insuring that the food on the tables remained filled so that no one would be hungry.
That evening, Steve and Emma would stay at her parents’ house in order to help clean up in the morning. Later, they would visit the houses of family and friends for the next several weekends then live at her parents’ house until Steve was able to set up their own home. It was rare that newly married Amish couples had their own home right after their wedding, although some young men were able to save up and buy a farm for their new bride. Sylvia knew that Steve had bought the farm near Emanuel’s but it wasn’t ready for them to move in yet.
Jake led Sylvia back to where Shana stood. He greeted his sister-in-law with a friendly hello, uncertain about how much Sylvia’s family knew about his disappearance. But Emanuel greeted him with a warm handshake and smiled at his sister. It was apparent that Sylvia had not told her family. For that, he was relieved. He wasn’t up to answering questions just yet. He just wanted to forget about his trip and immerse himself into the peace of his new community.
Jake never left her side during the time they spent at the wedding feast. She was grateful for his support, especially since she knew that they had a lot to talk about that evening. She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Her faith in the Lord had brought Jake back to her.
Despite not knowing the story of why he had been gone for so long or why he hadn’t contacted her, she found herself happy. Her husband was home and was safe. And, of course, now that he had returned, she couldn’t wait to share her wonderful gut news about their expecting a baby. Everything would be set right, she knew. It was, indeed, an important day for all of them.
Chapter Twenty-Four
When they left Emma’s parents farm after the wedding celebration was dwindling, Sylvia drove the horse and wagon home and Jake drove his truck. It was fortunate that no one saw so that she didn’t have to answer any unwanted questions about why they had arrived separately. She could imagine her parents’ reaction and was careful to avoid them during the meal. Had they recognized that she had arrived alone? Did they notice how Jake looked, so tired and pale? No, she thought, it’s best to avoid those questions until she, too, had some answers.
They left as soon as guests started to say their goodbyes, careful not to be the first to leave in order to pay their respect. But both were itching to escape, to return home and be together at last. Yet, it was important for Jake to meet some of these people, the friends of Sylvia’s youth and relatives from throughout the church district.
During the fellowship time, Sylvia was pleased to see Jake introducing himself to people, charming those that he met, including her friends Leah and Millie.
Millie had taken her aside and whispered, “He’s like a movie star, Sylvia!”
Sylvia had blushed but didn’t have any comments.
Leah seemed less impressed. “But is he a godly man?”
Sylvia remembered how Leah had been concerned about the relationship she had with the Englischer when she was working for him. She knew that tongues were wagging and people were staring. It must have been hard for her parents, to have their non-Amish son-in-law attending the wedding, a reminder of what Sylvia had done. By not joining the church, Sylvia had caused a lot of hardship for her parents. And, to have decided against joining in order to marry such a man?
Sylvia didn’t care. If only they knew how wonderful he was to her, how he treated her at home, she thought. How could she have settled back
into the rote routine of Amish life, married to someone like Adam Knoeffler? No, she thought. Jake had shown her another side to life and love that, once she experienced it, had ruined her for a life as an Amish wife. Yes, indeed, she had already forgotten about the pain and hardship of the past weeks.
She simply couldn’t wait to be alone with him, couldn’t wait to tell him the news. Shana had kept smiling at her during the fellowship time, knowing the secret and knowing that Jake didn’t know. When Jake and Sylvia had walked to the bridal table to congratulate Emma and Steve, she was so grateful that he was by her side. The pressure was gone and she felt as if the weight of the world was lifted from her shoulders. She had believed in God and He had provided.
When the horse pulled her wagon into the driveway, she wasn’t surprised to see Jake waiting for her outside. He helped her down from the wagon, his hands lingering on her waist. He didn’t say anything, but just stared down at her for a long moment. She thought that he might kiss her, right then and there. But, instead, he cleared his throat and told her to go wait for him inside the house, that he would take care of the horse. She did as she was told, relieved that she did not have to make such decisions anymore. Her husband was back and he would take care of her.