“But I want to see all o’ ye. I must.”
“I don’t think it wise.”
“What are ye afraid o’? That I’ll recoil from ye as Caroline did? Ye’ve no need to fear such a reaction. I’m your wife now. If we are to bare bodies to each other, we must also bare our souls.”
Rolf met her gaze for a long time, as if weighing the sincerity of her words. Finally he reached down and began peeling the leather glove from his hand. The material stuck on his little finger and he pulled it off with a yank, wincing in pain.
Megan stepped forward, bending in front of him on one knee and taking the maimed hand in hers. It lay frozen in a clench, the fingers curled and stiff from disuse.
“There, Megan. You have seen all of me. Are you disappointed I am not a whole man?”
To his surprise, she leaned forward, her dark hair spilling like a river of silk over his arm. With agonizing tenderness, she pressed her lips to his lame hand.
“Ye are beautiful. All o’ ye.”
Rolf’s breath caught in his throat. “Oh, God, Megan.” Her lips moved across his fingers to touch the vein that pulsed at his wrist.
“Thank ye for trusting me enough to show it to me.”
Bending over, Rolf lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed. Settling her back against the pillows, he joined her, rolling onto his side and resting a hand on the curve of her hip.
“You are the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met. If only our joining could have been under different circumstances. I never wanted to cause you any pain.”
Megan reached up to touch his cheek. “Have ye heard the saying ’A wise man lives in the present’? Well, I think ’tis good advice. I want only to think o’ now and what we can make o’ this moment. I won’t ask more o’ ye, if ye will no’ ask more o’ me.”
Rolf took her hand, holding it against his cheek. “I won’t lie to you, Megan. I do want more from you. I want to be more than just your husband in name. I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes I made with Caroline. I know it will be difficult for you to accept me for who I am, especially after all the pain I have caused you. I want you to know that if I could spare the life of your father, I would. But I can’t and we both know that. My responsibilities lie heavy upon me.”
“Aye, we must both live out our destinies, Englishman. But for tonight, let’s put all other thoughts aside except what we feel for each other right now. For neither o’ us knows what tomorrow will bring.”
Smoothing back a strand of hair from her face, he brought his mouth down over hers. The feel of her soft moist lips beneath him ignited a flame of desire he had long thought extinguished. His tongue glided sensuously across her lips until she opened her mouth to him. Gently he plunged inside, stroking and kissing her soft crevices with his tongue. His desire increased. She felt so good, so right against him.
Slipping his hand down to her waist, he pulled her nightdress up around her hips. Lightly he drew his fingers in small circles around the inside of her thighs and across the flat of her stomach until she moaned and shifted restlessly against him.
“Perhaps now would be the appropriate time to remove this gown,” he murmured in a hot breath against her cheek.
She smiled in agreement as he slipped his arm behind her back, lifting her up as he pulled the woolen gown over her head. When she lay naked in from of him, he drew in his breath.
“My God, Megan, you are lovely.”
Hesitantly, she reached up for him. “Kiss me again. Help me to forget everything except being here with ye.”
Rolf drew her closer, his hand sliding beneath her neck. His own passion mounting, he tilted her head back and molded his mouth to hers. She kissed him back, hesitantly and then with a growing eagerness that ignited a burning ache inside him. Feeling his need begin to spiral out of control, he pulled away, trying to slow down.
“Easy, Megan.” He caressed her breasts. “You’re so damn beautiful, it’s a miracle I’ve been able to resist you for so long.”
She grasped his shoulders. “So, why have you stopped?”
Rolf smiled, staring down at the passionate, dark-haired beauty beneath him. He still couldn’t believe that this remarkable woman was his wife. Her fire boiled his blood, her passion mirrored his own. Never before had he met a woman more suited to him. The knowledge both thrilled and stunned him. Never before had he had so much to lose with a woman...and so much to gain. He wanted everything to be just right for both of them. This time he would do everything right.
“I’m not stopping,” he said, nuzzling her neck. “Before God, I couldn’t stop if I wanted to. I think I’m in love with you.”
Her eyes snapped open in panic and he realized his revelation had frightened her. Good. She needed to know he was serious about her, about their future together.
“Wait.”
He silenced her cries by covering her mouth with his. She wiggled beneath him.
“Stay still, Megan.” He lifted his mouth from hers and planted his knee between her legs. “When you move like that beneath me, it takes all I have to control myself.”
“I...I’m afraid of so many things.”
“Do not be afraid of this. It will hurt only for a minute. I promise you.” Before she could protest further, he eased her legs apart, poising himself between her hips. “The first bit is the hardest. But after that, I assure you that it gets easier.” Lifting his hips up, he thrust forward into her. Shaking with need, he took a deep breath, managing with supreme effort to still himself.
He gritted his teeth together. “Are you all right?”
“Is it over?”
He made a sound between a groan and a laugh. “No, not yet.”
“What’s next?”
“Just relax for me, love. It will be good, I promise.” Slowly he began to move inside her.
“’Tis nice.” She looked up at him and he tried to smile, but figured the expression on his face was more of pain and concentration.
“Does it hurt ye too?”
“Yes...no. I want to go slow, but I’m not certain how much longer I can hold out. I want you, Megan.”
She arched against him in an inexperienced manner, drawing him deeper inside her body. He’d never been more touched or seduced.
“Ye don’t have to go slow.” She slid her hands down his shoulder and across his back. “Do what ye must.”
Rolf groaned in response, his heavy body pressing down against her. “It...feels...so...good. I want you to feel it too.”
“Help me then.”
Moving his mouth near her ear, he began whispering hot words of sensual promise. All the while, his hand slid down her bare hip and the smooth roundness of her buttocks. He kissed her, slowly at first and then roughly, barely reining in a burgeoning passion. Need crashed over him like a tidal wave. He’d never wanted a woman like this. It was as if his entire body was on fire, every pore screaming for release.
Forcing himself to slow down, Rolf lifted a scant inch to look at her. Her hair was in tangled disarray about her shoulders, her lips red and swollen from his kisses. “Do you feel it now?” He breathed against her cheek.
She didn’t answer, her eyes closed.
“Megan?”
“Something...something is happening to me.”
At her words, desire roared in his ears, snapping the last of his control. “Hold on, love.” A groan ripped from his throat as he sank deeper and deeper into her.
Megan arched hard against him, stiffened and then moaned with pure delight. “Rolf.”
Rolf heard her call his name and his own consciousness faded before he burst inside her. She still clung to him, her hair plastered against his damp chest. Sweat trickled down from his temples and he shuddered once before collapsing on her in a heap.
Slowly, real
ity returned piece by piece. The flicker of the candle, the rough feel of the quilt beneath his knee, the warm, sensuous scent of their lovemaking. For a moment, he held her close, savoring the exquisite pleasure he felt in her arms.
“Are ye all right?” Megan stroked the damp hair at the base of his neck.
Rolf could feel the rapid pounding of his heart against her breast. Holding her close, a curious sense of peace filled him. Lifting himself up on one elbow, he looked down at her, their bodies still joined. He kissed her forehead. “I don’t think I’ve ever been better. But I’m sorry I had to hurt you.”
“Och, ’twas only a wee bit. And what came afterwards...well, ’twas worth it.”
Grinning, he rolled to the side, pulling her with him into a tight embrace. “Do you know what I liked best?”
She snuggled into the crook of his arm. “What?”
“You called me by my Christian name for the first time since I’ve met you.”
Megan blushed. “Well, if that was the best part for ye, then I fear I have failed in my efforts to please ye.”
Rolf tipped her chin up until she was looking at him. “No, Megan, you didn’t fail. You’ve more than exceeded my expectations in all ways.”
She blinked, a sadness filling her eyes. A tight squeeze gripped his heart. He knew she still hid something from him. Many barriers still blocked her heart. He would work hard to remove them. But for now, he intended to concentrate on pleasuring her.
He stroked the pads of his fingers across her cheek. “But I’m willing if you’d like another lesson.”
The sadness melted away and a sparkle lit her eyes. “Really? Is it possible? Because I can be a very good pupil.”
Rolf chuckled. “I fear I’ve created a wanton wench. Well, dear wife, just give me a few minutes and I assure you that your wish is my command.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Rolf dressed in the cool chill of the morning air as the sun streamed in through the window, sending light dancing across the walls and floor. The fire had long ago burned out and a faint chill hung in the air. Megan watched him, summoning her courage to speak. Although she had spent the night in the most intimate of ways with him, the reality of what they shared was still too fragile to withstand examination in the harsh light of day.
Megan clutched a blanket to her bare chest. “When will I be able to see my uncle?”
He started, as if he hadn’t known she was awake. “Soon.” He slid his legs into his breeches. “I need some time to speak with him alone.”
“Ye...ye won’t harm him or my cousin?”
Rolf walked over to the bed and lifted her chin. “When will you learn to trust me, Megan? I gave you my word I will not harm them.”
“I know. ’Tis just that I can’t help but worry about them.”
Rolf sat down, brushing her hair from her shoulder. “It’s time I met your father. I want your uncle to convey a message to him. He and I are now kin whether or not he likes it. I’m offering to meet him alone, without the threat of capture or trickery. I want only to convince him, face to face, that surrendering is the best solution for all of us.”
Megan’s mouth fell open. “Ye wish to meet my father face to face? I don’t think ’twill be possible.”
“It is not an unreasonable request.”
“I know. But he is a very cautious man. Would ye instead consider meeting wi’ a proxy who has been given the right to act on his behalf?”
“Why are you so certain that he’ll reject my offer? We are now family after all.”
“I just don’t think he’ll agree to meet wi’ ye.”
Rolf frowned. “Do you really think your father fears me so much? This doesn’t sound like the behavior of the legendary Black Wolf.”
Megan looked away, fearful her face would betray too much information. “I know our ways seem odd to ye. But my father is a very prudent man. Mayhap he would deem it wise to have someone else act on his behalf.”
Rolf stood, walking over to the hearth where he picked up his leather glove and began pulling it onto his crippled hand. His expression was thoughtful and grim. “I’d be disappointed if the Wolf refused to meet with me. But I suppose I might consider discussing matters with a proxy, if that is what it would take to put an end to the fighting and convince your father to turn himself over to me.”
“Any proxy?”
Rolf raised a dark eyebrow. “Why do you show such interest?”
Megan flushed, shrugging with as much nonchalance as she could summon. “I was just wondering.”
Rolf picked up his jacket from the back of the chair and thrust his arms into it. “Well, don’t wonder too much. All of this is out of your hands now. However, if I were you, I’d encourage your uncle to cooperate with me. We both know that drawing this situation out is not beneficial for either side. And make no mistake about it, Megan. If there is another attack like the one yesterday, I will not be so forgiving.”
Megan stared at her husband as he strode across the room to brush a kiss across her forehead. “Don’t worry.” His tone softened. “I’m sure that your father is a reasonable man and all of this will be settled with due haste. Then we can finally get on with our lives. I ask you to trust me. That’s not too much to ask now, is it?”
Megan managed a tremulous smile. “’Tis harder than ye think. But I shall try.”
Rolf gave her soft cheek a final caress. “Good. Because I look forward to the day when we no longer must face these unpleasant issues. I want a resolution to this problem and I want it soon.”
After he left, Megan fell back onto the bed with a thump, taking the blankets with her. “That resolution will be sooner than ye think, Englishman.” She pulled the covers up to her chin. “But I fear ye are not going to like it.”
* * *
“Uncle Geddes.” Megan jumped out of her seat as Peter led the old man into the small sitting room. “Thank God ye are here. Have ye been harmed?”
Geddes shook his head as Peter removed the strips of cloth that bound his hands behind his back.
“My lord said to permit you a few minutes alone, but no longer.” Clearly Peter did not approve of their meeting. He withdrew from the room, leaving the two of them alone.
As soon as he was gone, Megan threw herself into her uncle’s arms. “Och, Uncle, I’m so glad ye are safe. Are ye certain ye are no’ hurt?”
“I’m not hurt, lass. In fact, none o’ us have been harmed and many o’ the men have already been released. The Englishman’s been true to his word. But how have ye fared?”
Megan blushed, thinking of their long night of lovemaking. “I’m well, Uncle.”
Geddes breathed a sigh of relief. “I feared greatly for ye. But dinna fret. We can still have the marriage annulled.”
Megan blinked in surprise. “Annulled? Why, ’tis impossible. I took the vows in front o’ a kirkman.”
“Ye were coerced. Even the kirkman could see that.”
“Aye, ’tis true to a point. But don’t forget that the Englishman could have forced me to wed Edwin Farrington. Instead, he offered me a bargain. ’Twas one I reluctantly accepted, but accepted nonetheless. We both know I took those vows willingly...at least as willingly as can be deemed possible under the circumstances.”
“Willingly is no’ a word that comes to mind. We both know ye sacrificed yourself for the clan. Even the Englishman knew that. He blackmailed ye into wedding him.”
“It still doesn’t change the fact that I agreed in principle to this marriage. The reasons behind my consent don’t matter. I stood in front o’ the kirkman and God and said my vows. There’ll be no annulment.”
Geddes stroked his bearded chin with his fingers, his face deepening into a frown. “Do ye understand what ye are giving up, lass? What about your life wi’ Robbie?”
“He’s never wanted anyone but ye.”
Megan’s blue eyes filled with sadness. “I know. But he will find someone else. He deserves happiness and I pray that he finds it. How is he faring in the dungeon?”
Geddes lifted his hands. “Och, he’s as angry as a trapped bear, but none the worse. The Englishmen are still questioning him, but he’s no’ been harmed. Ye have naught to worry about wi’ Robbie or any other o’ the men. No one has revealed anything about the death o’ your father...nor what we’ve done since his demise.”
She nodded, clasping her hands behind her back. “What about the Chisholms and MacDonnells? Are they keeping silent about the Black Wolf as well?”
“For the time being. They need to determine how your marriage to the Englishman will affect them. I suspect, however, they’ll no’ honor Rolf St. James’s claim to the lairdship.”
She started to pace the chamber, the skirts of her blue gown swishing with the rapid pace. “Och, ’tis naught but bluster. We both know they have little choice in the matter.”
“Aye, ’tis so. But ’tis the MacLeod clan that will prosper from a deal wi’ the Englishman, no’ them. Ye canna blame them for being wary.”
Megan whirled around. “No’ only the MacLeod clan will prosper. I intend to bargain for land grants and pardons for all the clans in Gairloch. That includes the Chisholms and MacDonnells.”
Geddes’s eyes widened in surprise. “Have ye lost your senses? What makes ye think the Englishman will agree to such broad terms?”
“I don’t know that he will agree. But I’ve come to see him as an honest man. He’s told me that he intends us to live at least half the year at Castle Kilcraig and govern the area personally. I believe him. ’Twould be in his best interest to bring peace to as much o’ the area as he can.”
“Do ye really trust him to keep his word, Megan?”
The Thorn & the Thistle Page 22