“You made it look so difficult,” she teased.
He lifted his hands, showing her bright red, bare fingers. “My fingers are ice,” he explained, a rueful smile on his face.
The smile immediately slid off of Mia’s face. “What on earth were you thinking, Elliot?”
“I was thinking that I didn’t bring any snow gloves, but I wasn’t about to miss the chance to teach my niece and nephew to board. I used some cotton gloves, but they soaked through pretty quick.”
Mia shook her head. “That was downright reckless. There’s no way you’re driving back down. I can’t afford to let you wreck a snowmobile.”
He held her gaze, his clear eyes firmly trained on her. “And here I thought you were concerned for my safety.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I don’t want the hotel to be liable for your injuries, either. You better ride down with me.”
“What about the other snowmobile?”
“I’ll grab Marco and come back and get it. You can’t control a throttle like that.” She indicated his hands. “How will you even hold on? Maybe we should walk.”
“I can manage,” he said, and he began walking toward Mia’s snowmobile.
She caught up and slid her helmet onto her head. Swinging her leg around, she sat down and waited for Elliot to sit behind her. When he finally swung onto the seat, she had to tell herself to breathe normally.
It wasn’t the first time she’d driven Elliot on a snowmobile. But it certainly hadn’t occurred in the last six years.
“Don’t go too fast,” he said into her ear.
“Hey, I’m a safe driver,” she defended.
Elliot’s laugh rang out around her and Mia turned on the seat, pausing when her shoulder lodged into Elliot’s chest and she realized just how close they sat to one another. Swallowing, she gazed into his eyes and read an emotion there that she couldn’t decipher. It wasn’t sorrow or joy, it was an odd mix of the two.
Or so it appeared within the helmet secured on his head.
“Thanks for being a good sport out here,” she said.
The look grew deeper, and Mia gazed into his eyes, doing her best to guess what he was thinking.
“I didn’t realize how much I would enjoy it,” he said at last, amusement filtering in and taking over his features. “I love those kids, but that aside, I had a lot of fun. Probably the most fun I’ve had in a really long time.”
Mia scoffed. “You’re a TV star. I’m sorry, Elliot, but I have a hard time believing that.”
He shook his head. His voice sounded muffled against the helmet. “I’m sick of all that. I never really wanted it in the first place; I just liked the money they offered me.”
Well, she hadn’t expected to hear that. Nodding, Mia turned back around. She reached to start the snowmobile when Elliot’s icy hand gripped her arm, stopping her.
“Listen,” he said, his voice no longer muffled. She looked over her shoulder to find that he’d removed his helmet.
Mia removed hers as well.
“After the accident I got really sick.”
“You mean beyond breaking your bones and going through rehab to learn to walk again?” Mia asked.
Elliot glanced away before settling his gaze back on her face. “Yes. I don’t mean physically. I mean mentally.”
Mia had no idea what to think. She understood what mentally sick implied, but not when it related to Elliot James. He was the happiest, kindest man she knew. Aside from when he had dropped her like a hot rock, of course.
She swung her leg over the snowmobile so she was sitting sideways and was better able to see Elliot’s face. This didn’t feel like a short conversation. This was something that needed to be discussed.
Chapter Fourteen
Mia faced him, and Elliot was sure it was her way of showing him that she was ready to listen. He straddled the snowmobile but there was still plenty of room between them so he didn’t bother moving sideways like she had.
Mia sat still, waiting patiently for him to continue. He gathered his courage, playing with the chin strap of the helmet which sat in his lap. Drawing in a breath, he spoke before he could overthink things and convince himself to keep quiet.
“I became massively depressed,” he said, watching Mia closely for her reaction. When her gaze didn’t waver, he continued. “It crept on slowly, but I think it began the moment I woke up in the hospital and realized my dreams were crushed.”
Her eyebrows pulled together then and her tiny nose scrunched up. “But the epiphany—”
“Right,” he said, trying to figure out the best way to explain what had happened to him. “I did mean that. I did feel like we could make a whole new life together and find our own joy without the Olympics. But I hadn’t expected to be swallowed so wholly by despair.”
She shook her head. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have supported you and stood beside you through everything. I would have waited as long as you needed me to.”
“And I can see that now, but when I was in the middle of the darkness, nothing would’ve convinced me that I was worth anything. Especially you. I pushed you away, Mia, because I loved you so much. I knew you deserved better than what I could give you.”
Her eyes were pained. “Until you called,” she argued, her voice soft and small.
He swallowed. “That wasn’t until a year later. My parents made me see a therapist and she helped me work through the situational depression while the physical therapists helped me walk again. By the time I left Utah to film those commercials, I was beginning to creep out of the haze.”
“So…when you called?”
“When I called, I had just signed with an agent and was talking with the network about My Crazy Family.” Elliot drew in a breath and spoke his truth. “I signed on with the show to pay back my parents for the crazy medical expenses my accident accrued. But I don’t love acting, I just have a knack for it. I never expected the show to take off the way it did, and I never intended to be on TV forever.”
Mia shook her head, her gaze clouded. “I just need a minute to wrap my head around this.”
“And you can never know how many times over the years I’ve wanted to call you, but I tried to respect your wishes—”
“You should have called,” she said.
Elliot stilled. What did she mean by that? Would she have welcomed him if he had reached out to her?
Mia turned and looked into his eyes, her own crystal clear and sparkling from the winter sun. “I never asked my mom to tell you any of those things, Elliot. She just said those things and then probably deleted the call. I never even knew.”
Her words crashed over him like a giant snowball, a sharp realization that the truth he’d known for the last few years was moot. Mia hadn’t wanted him to leave her alone. If her words now were any indication, she would have welcomed Elliot had he reached out to her again. After he apologized and explained, of course. He lifted one red, icy hand up to her face and trailed it along her cheekbone.
Her cheeks were rosy, but still warmer than his hands and she winced.
“Sorry,” he said, pulling his hand back.
Mia pulled her gloves off and picked up his hand. Her eyes met his and her eyebrows rose. “We should probably get you back to the lodge.”
“In a minute,” he said, his voice hoarse.
He watched as Mia did her best to shove her gloves over his hands. They were definitely too small, but they were better than nothing. The soft fur lining was warm from Mia’s hands and he felt the soothing warmth start to work its magic.
“Do you still struggle with depression?” she asked, her attention on his hands.
“Occasionally,” he said honestly. “Mostly when I’m homesick. LA is fine, but I’m not doing something I love.”
Mia quirked a smile. “You’re a TV star. Most people would want to be in your shoes.”
“It’s not as glamorous as it seems. I was happier today than I’ve been in years.” And he was choosi
ng to examine the reasons for that at a later, more secluded time.
Mia tilted her head. “Because you spent time with your family? Or because you were playing in the snow?”
Or he could examine the reasons now. He glanced away from Mia, his eyes trailing the snow-capped peaks in the distance and the powdery trees. Family was important to him, even if they didn’t choose to fill him in on every detail of their lives. Elliot nearly scoffed as he thought of his older brother, who had failed to mention that his kid was graduating early with a full ride to the University of Utah.
But as much as he loved his family, he knew that wasn’t the main reason he’d been so happy.
“It was the kids,” he said, drawing his attention back to Mia. “I loved teaching them to snowboard. And while I was teaching them, I got this strange desire to strap on a board and ride down the mountain. Which is crazy since that idea has given me anxiety for the last six years.”
“Maybe it’s time to try again.”
Elliot shook his head. “I don’t know. But either way it’s progress.”
She cast him a warm smile.
He brought his hands up, encased in too-small gloves, and cupped Mia’s cheeks. “Mia, will you give me another chance? No one has ever come close to filling my heart the way you have. You were the standard by which I’ve judged all other women in my life, and compared to you, everyone else fails.”
“Sophy Grant?” Mia said, arching her eyebrow. Elliot’s words were nice and all, but she had a hard time believing he preferred her over a TV superstar.
Elliot rolled his eyes, dropping his hands from her face to his lap. “Why does everyone constantly bring her up? She was a fling and it didn’t last because she’s crazy. No,” he said, training his gaze on Mia, “Sophy Grant doesn’t measure up to you. Now, what do you say?”
Mia’s heart raced. Elliot was asking for something that she desperately wanted to give him: another chance.
And yet, she was scared. He’d gone off the deep end before and dropped her without a word or a chance for her to defend herself. What was to say he wouldn’t do it again?
She cleared her throat. “How can I know it won’t happen again?”
“You can’t,” he said simply. “But I can promise I won’t ever shut you out. I can handle it differently next time. If there ever is a next time.”
But if he spiraled, then he wouldn’t be responsible for the promises he made now. Sighing, she turned away. “I just don’t know if I can handle being ignored and shut out, Elliot. I don’t know if I can commit to you now and hope you never leave me again.”
“Then let’s make a plan,” he said, scooting closer to her on the seat. Elliot peeled off the gloves and tucked them under his leg before reaching for her hands. His were still cold, but not as stiff, which was a good sign. His eyes pleaded with her as he spoke. “Give me a chance. I have to go back to LA for a year and finish out my contract with My Crazy Family. We can try long-distance for a while and see how it goes.”
That did not sound enjoyable in the least. Mia’s face must have portrayed her feelings for Elliot scooted even closer. He was right up next to her now and his fingers squeezed her own. “I realize how that sounds. I know long-distance isn’t fun. But it’ll go so fast. By this time next year my contract will be up, and I can leave the show and move home.”
“I need to think about it,” Mia said.
Elliot’s eyes lit up. “So you’re not saying no?”
Mia chuckled, her heart warming despite her reservations. “I’m not saying no.”
“You’re saying maybe.”
She nodded, though she could not ignore the unease that tugged at her stomach. “Yes. I’m saying maybe.”
A grin spread over Elliot’s lips, his smile wide and inviting. His hands dropped hers, sliding up her arms and sending shivers down her spine. His gaze fell to her lips and her heart started beating faster than a snowmobile motor as he leaned in close.
A buzzing sounded just beyond the trees and Mia stilled. It was an actual snowmobile motor and it was coming toward them. Elliot must have heard the same thing, for he paused just a breath before his lips reached hers. Sighing, he cast her a rueful glance and slid back on the seat.
Mia blew out a breath of pent up energy and watched it cloud before her as Brandon appeared through the trees. She pulled on her helmet to hide her guilty face and turned the ignition, revving up her own snowmobile.
She felt a void behind her and glanced over her shoulder to find Elliot getting off the back.
“My hands are warmed enough,” he explained, reaching forward to give her gloves back. “I can drive down now.”
Mia nodded, afraid her voice would sound raspy or odd if she tried to use it.
Brandon paused in front of them. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Elliot called. “Snowmobile trouble. But we’ve got it worked out.”
Brandon clearly didn’t believe him if his sideways glance was any indication. “Good,” he said. “I just came up to see if you needed help. But we need to get back.”
“Why?” Elliot asked.
Brandon glanced at Mia and then back to his brother-in-law. “Because the bridge is fixed, and the entire Caldwell clan just showed up.”
Chapter Fifteen
Mia had never felt so overwhelmed and underprepared in her entire life. She arrived at the lodge to the chaos of Hannah and Ashlyn showing everyone to their rooms, while simultaneously working with Mrs. Bruin at the front desk to rebook her flight from Salt Lake City to Seattle so she could make it home by Christmas.
Which, incidentally, was tomorrow.
Ashlyn glanced up from the front desk, her eyes wide as Mia approached.
“Is everyone situated?” Mia asked.
“Almost,” Ashlyn said, shooting Mrs. Bruin a wide smile where she waited on the plush chairs beside the fireplace. “The bridge opened up and the Caldwell family was the first to come through.”
“How could they have known it was almost fixed?” Mia asked, whispering.
Ashlyn shrugged, leaning closer. “I’m assuming they were already in Park City waiting it out. But we’ve got their rooms ready so it’s fine.”
What a relief. Mia checked over the reservations to ensure herself everyone was placed in their proper rooms, and it all checked out. Ashlyn and Hannah had done their jobs well.
Mia had passed Elliot’s aunt and uncle in the hallway with his grandpa, but none of them had recognized her. It wasn’t so odd; she’d only met them a handful of times. But she was not looking forward to running into his—
“Mia Murphy?” a high-pitched voice called across the lobby.
Well, nothing she could do about it now. She lifted her gaze to find Mrs. James cross the foyer toward her, a shocked expression on her pale face.
“Hello,” Mia called.
“It is you!” Mrs. James said, and Mia laughed awkwardly. She stepped out from behind the desk and was immediately pulled into a strong embrace. “Oh, honey. It’s been years! What are you doing here?”
“I work here,” Mia said, indicating the nametag on her blouse. “I’ve been at Powder Peaks about eight months now. I had no idea this was the lodge your family used for Christmas, Mrs. James.”
“It’s a more recent tradition,” Mrs. James said. “And please, call me Sylvia. You aren’t in high school anymore.”
“No, I certainly am not,” Mia agreed. “I’m acting manager during your stay, so please reach out to me if there is anything you find yourself in need of.”
“Well our stay has been cut dramatically short,” Sylvia said. “But I would love it if we could rearrange some of our planned activities to really pack a punch today and tomorrow.”
Dread filled Mia’s stomach. She’d used up all of the supplies for sugar cookie decorating, and the cranberries for their Christmas dinner was gone. The guests had already caroled and watched movies…but perhaps they wouldn’t mind repeating some of these things for the sake of their
mother.
“I must inform you,” Mia said, affecting her most professional demeanor, “that we utilized some of the supplies for your activities while the guests of the lodge were snowed in. If you can pinpoint precisely what changes you’d like to make to the schedule, however, I will do my best to make it happen.”
Sylvia’s face did not alter one bit. She smiled pleasantly. “Don’t concern yourself too much, Mia. I just wanted to decorate cookies with my grandkids and then maybe take over the parlor for a while tonight to sing carols. Have you done either of those activities?”
Both. Mia nodded. “Yes, but I am sure they won’t mind doing them again now that their family has arrived. In fact…” An idea dawned on Mia and she glanced over her shoulder where Ashlyn sat on the phone speaking to a representative from the airport. “If you can give me a few minutes to speak to our chef then I might be able to change it up a little for the kids. Would you mind if they aren’t sugar cookies?”
“Not at all,” Sylvia said at once. “We just want to spend time together.”
As a family holiday ought to be.
“In the meantime,” Sylvia continued, “do you know if the projector is around and working? I’ve brought a few movies.”
“It is,” Mia said. “And I can get that set up right away. Give me about twenty minutes and I’ll have the sofas carried into the Wasatch Room and the projector set up.”
“Lovely.” Sylvia turned to go but paused. Coming back to face Mia, she reached forward and pulled her into another hug. “It is so nice to see you again. What a lovely holiday surprise.”
The front door opened and a gust of wind blew in, followed directly by a gorgeous, tall redhead with a long, white coat and perfect, bright red lipstick.
It was Sophy Grant.
Sophy Grant turned and caught Mia’s eye a moment before her gaze flicked about the room, disgust and annoyance on her brow.
Mia’s stomach did a somersault. There was only one reason a high-profile TV star would step foot in her lobby right this moment, and he had just asked Mia to be his girlfriend.
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