When Kristian called it the mind of God, she recalled her own revelation and knew he was wrong. She could not speak. Her fear was turning into panic at the impossibility of escape and she thought, Oh, Karl, where are you? What's going to happen to us now?
In the Crystal Ring it was hard to judge the passage of time; an hour or two, perhaps. Charlotte tried to memorise the undulating patterns of the hills as they flowed past, their colours and the way the magnetic lines pulled at them… thinking that when she escaped, she must be able to find her way back. Then, with a sudden vertiginous rush, they were out of the Crystal Ring and standing in a windowless stone chamber.
The change of atmosphere was a vicious assault on her senses. She felt weak, ill, her whole body crushed and bruised. And so thirsty. Kristian had taken her blood and she burned as if he had robbed her of her most precious possession.
"Welcome to Schloss Holdenstein." Kristian moved around the chamber, lighting candles and torches on the walls. She stared in astonishment at the damp stone walls and a carved ebony throne on a dais, gleaming in the light of oily naked flames. It was like a monastery that had remained the same for centuries. And while she was on fire with thirst and bewilderment, she became aware that the centre of her mind was cool, clear and observant. Karl had said, 'Vampires can distance themselves'."
"How long do you mean to keep me here?" she asked. Kristian turned round, apparently surprised at her question, as intimidating as a harsh schoolmaster to a tiny child. He moved to the chair and rested his hand on the high, ornamented back. "But this is your home now. All my flock live here."
"I am not one of your flock."
"You are now," he said with sublime confidence.
"What if I want to leave?"
"My children are free to come and go, on the understanding that they remain obedient to me and always return. But there is… a period of apprenticeship. Think of yourself as a novice, Charlotte."
"Like a nun?" she gasped. Disapproval clouded his eyes and she drew back, alarmed.
"A novice," he repeated, "who must earn privileges and trust. Others far stronger than you have confronted me with their pride, yet have come to see the error of their ways. So shall it be with you. It seems to me that you must be broken before you can be made into something better."
A fearful vision unrolled. She knew he was capable of inflicting unnamed torments on her until she was reduced to begging for forgiveness, confessing to any sin, all sin, promising anything… and at the end, worst of all, loving Kristian. Losing her mind and soul to him, believing anything and everything he said. He overwhelmed her, but the thread of stubbornness inside her would not let her give in. Not when she knew he was wrong. Be scientific, she told herself, but it was so hard under the weight of his will.
He came towards her, opening his arms, his fatherly radiance drawing her in. And her own father had rejected her… "But come to me, Charlotte," he said, his voice enthralling. "There's no need to inflict such pain on yourself when you could be received in love. Come to the Father."
"No," she whispered. "No, I won't." She made the walls dissolve and felt the metallic grains of the Ring coalescing around her; but Kristian's fingers, almost crushing her arm to the bone, pulled her back into the chamber. She didn't want Kristian, she wanted Karl.
"It seems to me, dear child, that I snatched you away from that heretic not one moment too soon. But no one is beyond redemption. Answer me; will you renounce your love for Karl?"
"No," she said. "Never."
In a brief startling moment, he lifted her left hand and tugged Karl's ring from her finger. Her protest turned into a cry of pain as he ripped out a strand of her hair. Then he stood back and said gravely, "Your loyalty to him is misplaced. I can promise you the day is nigh when he will renounce you."
Thrill of terror. "He would never do that!"
"But he will! I am telling you, child, that mine is the only love that you can trust! I am the Way and the Truth! Everything else will betray you and die and rot, but we endure forever. God and myself." He held her shoulders; his face was full of the holy fervour that had almost stolen her reason when she first saw him. "Listen to me. It is good that you have turned away from mankind and towards me. Men are vermin. Their God is false; the true Lord is not tolerant of their evil. He destroyed them in the flood and He will do so again! And we are His angels of vengeance!"
She thought incredulously, he's mad! His words were strangely moving; she could see how someone of a less sophisticated culture might have embraced the sentiments. To her it was like stage rhetoric. He could transport her for a time but when she left the theatre she would be herself again, unchanged. She said, "If you destroy everyone, on whom will you feed?"
The anger of his response shook her. "How dare you question the intentions of God? The daughter of a scientist—" he made the word sound like satanist—"are you not? I see the filth of that corruption is very deep in you."
Charlotte stood very still, her gaze fixed on that face, feeling that if she moved he would kill her. But she thought, So, he hates logic!
"Karl dabbled in this science," Kristian went on. He released his grip, to her relief. He went to sit in the throne-chair and gazed at her. "What did he learn?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"Tell me what you taught him!" The volume of his voice hurt her sensitive ears and she flinched, trembling.
"Everything we could, really; what we know of the structure of matter, properties of elements, how to set up experiments in the lab, the principles of radioactivity. We were looking for isotopes, you see, forms of elements which—"
"Enough! This is heresy!"
"I don't know what you want me to say!" she shouted back.
"Karl knows something. He's plotted against me for years."
"No. He just wanted to be left alone, that's all."
"Don't defend him! He knows something and I want you to tell me what it is!"
Charlotte stared at Kristian, dumbfounded. Then she thought, He's frightened of Karl! He's frightened of science. And he's deranged, there's no reasoning with him…
And the more he sees my fear, the more he can control me… oh, God help me find a way through this… How dare I call on God? I have only myself.
An internal strength was keeping her intact. Now she let the years of self-control, of veiling her inner self, come to her aid. She said calmly, "I cannot think what Karl could have learned from us that could possibly harm any vampire."
"How, then, did he destroy the creature I made in his image?"
"I killed it," she said, staring straight into his flint-black eyes. "I killed it with ice colder than the Weisskalt. It was fragile because it had no mind."
She tensed, waiting for a shout or a blow, but none came. To her frustration, Kristian plainly did not believe her. He was laughing at her. "Oh, you are so foolish, trying to protect Karl. Yet… if not for you, the creature would never have left my side! You have a lot to answer for… but it is all born of naïveté, not malevolence. You are so young, my daughter, and I am too harsh." He stood up and held out his hand to her, like a parent to a child. She suspected his sudden kindness was a trick, part of his plan to wear her down, but it was such a relief that it was all she could do not to take the proffered hand. "Come, I will find someone to look after you, to reclothe you and see that you are fed." Fed. The word vibrated through her. "We shall talk again later."
"Then may I leave?"
Kristian's voice remained reasonable, but his pupils became thorns. "Not yet. And if you try, I can promise you will never see Karl again."
***
For a time, Karl walked slowly along the embankment in the direction that Charlotte had taken. He could not find her; he didn't really try, knowing she wouldn't want him to. Eventually he went back to Stefan's flat, stepping directly through the Crystal Ring into the brilliance of the drawing room.
He was preoccupied, off his guard. The scene struck him like lightning. Niklas was stan
ding near the window, smiling vacantly at some point on the wall; Stefan and Pierre were sitting at either end of the chaise-longue. And between them, his presence cloaking the room like a great dark wing, sat Kristian.
They all stared at Karl, grim-faced, as if they had been waiting for him for hours.
A huge weight of dismay fell on Karl. I knew he must come after us—but so soon. Less than a day we've had! Thank God Charlotte's not with me—but how can I warn her, how can I keep her away?
Stefan said, "He knows, Karl." He and Pierre were glaring at Karl. He doubted that they had betrayed him; if they had, they would surely look apologetic rather than reproachful.
Ignoring them, Karl inclined his head to Kristian. "To what do I owe this visit?"
"Oh, many things, Karl," Kristian replied. "Many things. You don't have to ask, do you?"
"Tell me," said Karl, folding his arms.
"You destroyed the beautiful being I made in your image."
"How do you know?"
Kristian's eyes narrowed and he dug his fingers into his own throat. "I felt it! Just as I felt it when you were slain! Only this time there was no body to be healed."
That must mean Kristian had been to the Nevilles'. With a sense of foreboding Karl asked, "And how did you discover this?"
"Oh, don't fret for your wretched human friends! They did not even see me. I did not touch them—but I could have done, Karl. You do not even begin to appreciate the forbearance I have shown, again and again, under the severest provocation from you!"
"You have the very patience of a saint," Karl said without inflection.
"Yes, I have." Kristian stood up. His height made the room seem doll's-house small and fragile; he was out of place, as massive and destructive as a bull amid the delicacy. "I think you are sick, Karl. To kill a creature that was so nearly yourself was like destroying yourself. Is that what you want?"
"To create the thing in the first place was sick," Karl replied. "A thing without a mind!"
"That is for me to judge! You had no right! I should punish you for that alone, but it is only the first of your sins. You promised you would come back and you did not. Instead you create a vampire without my permission. You seduce Stefan and Pierre with your soft eyes, your soft voice, into helping you—even knowing that I'd punish them for it! You are the Devil, Karl."
"I thought you didn't believe in the Devil." Kristian shouted, "Even knowing that Charlotte could not be permitted to live!"
Karl's dread was so fierce now that it was all he could do to keep his face emotionless. He thought desperately, How am I going to get him away from here before she comes back ?
Into the silence Stefan said, "We didn't tell him, Karl. He just knew."
"Stefan speaks the truth," said Kristian. "You cannot hide anything from me. You could not save Charlotte from me."
"What do you mean?" Karl said. No hiding his horror now. "For Christ's sake tell me what you mean!"
"Not so aloof now, my friend? Charlotte is already at Schloss Holdenstein."
"I don't believe you."
Kristian reached into his pocket and took out a ring with a red stone. Wound round it was a strand of wavy russet hair, sparkling gold where the light caught it. "Do you believe this?"
Karl took the ring. It was the one he had given to Charlotte, no question of it. And her hair was unmistakable.
Their eyes seemed to be scorching him, even Niklas's. He felt terror, despair, rage, but he pushed every emotion down into a glacial expanse of whiteness inside him. "Yes, they are hers," he said. "Is she still alive?"
"Yes, but not as far as you are concerned. You are never going to see her again." Kristian's face was set, his eyes black with despite. "You have gone too far. Your human friends are going to die. Stefan and Niklas and Pierre will be taken to the Weisskalt. And Charlotte will love only me."
Blackness surrounded Karl. Kristian's wings closed over him, suffocating. "What do you want of me?" he said tonelessly.
"I will make no bargains with you!" Kristian cried. "Don't tell me, 'I will do anything if only you spare them!' You have told me often enough that your love cannot be bought. Well, this time I take you at your word. This is the grave you have dug for yourself. If you do not want to come back to the fold, you shall be outcast forever—and every immortal, every human who offers you friendship, I shall strike down!"
The embittered anguish in Kristian's eyes shocked Karl. And his words shredded Karl's faint hope of negotiating with him.
Then it came to him; the only answer. Something that had been brewing within him ever since he had been brought back to life. No, even before that. Since that night at Fleur's, when he had tried so desperately to sever himself from Charlotte and failed. I will do this. Yes, let it begin… whether I succeed or fail, the only answer is to give in to it.
Kristian was a huge figure whose invisible dark wings enfolded the world. Light blazed round his head and angels sang on his shoulders.
"Are you giving up with me?" Karl said quietly, gazing at him.
"Yes!"
Karl shook his head. He let his eyes soften, he let tears come into them. "But you never give up. Don't… "
"What? Abandon you?" Kristian laughed, a ghastly sound.
Karl moved to the window, leaned against it and looked out. It was almost dawn. "I initiated Charlotte because I could not bear this loneliness any longer. But it did not work. Once she had changed I felt nothing for her. Because it only made me realise… that nothing can fill the emptiness of this existence."
"I could have told you that! Nothing ever can, unless you embrace God our Father!"
"But it has taken me all this time, it has taken my disappointment with Charlotte to make me see… "
"To see what, Karl?"
In the window, Karl could see the reflection of Stefan and Pierre staring at him in absolute astonishment. He was about to humiliate himself completely in front of them. "It's too hard for me to say it. My pride, you know."
Then Kristian's face began to change as well. "Pride is a sin, Karl."
"I know. And I have done nothing but sin against you since you made me. I don't think I can ever be absolved, because I cannot… Kristian, say it for me, please."
"Very well," said Kristian, moving towards him. "What is Charlotte, compared to me? She will only betray you as Ilona did. I am the only one who has never betrayed you. I have always been the same. From the beginning I have made it clear that I want you to stay with me and give your life to me, and that has never changed. My constant love is the only thing of which you can be certain. The world is an abyss; I am the bridge that spans it."
Kristian's words had an astonishing, wholly unexpected effect on Karl—because everything Kristian said was true. When Karl began to weep he did not have to force the tears; he actually could not stop them. "Yes," he said. "You say it better than ever I could."
Kristian said quietly, "It is brave of you to admit it. It could be a first step to absolution, if that was what you wanted."
Karl looked up, wild hope in his eyes. "No. I deserve punishment. I won't beg for anyone's life; not Stefan's nor Pierre's, not the humans' or even Charlotte's. Whatever you choose to do is right. But if I could only… "
Kristian's hands closed on his shoulders. "Say it, Karl."
"Let me come home with you, Father," Karl said with quiet dignity. "So that I may have some time to think, at least. Of course, if you won't permit it I understand."
Kristian's eyes were wide, his mouth open. "You would come with me, without condition—because you want to?"
"Yes. I need to. However, I can see no point in trying to convince you because it must be impossible for you to believe me."
"It is never too late to repent," Kristian breathed. His breath was cold as stone. "If it's true I shall believe you, because I can always perceive the truth. But if you want to prove you are sincere… Would you renounce your love for Charlotte to her face?"
"Of course," Karl said without
hesitation.
Kristian tried hard to respond with priestly gravity, but his naked elation was almost painful to see. God Almighty, do I really mean this much to him? Or is it just the thrill of victory? "Come, Karl, we'll go now. Oh, my beloved son… "
And he drew Karl away from the window, ready to go into the Crystal Ring. Kristian's gaze was pinned to Karl and he seemed to have forgotten everything else; the other vampires—and the Nevilles too, Karl hoped. All that mattered to him was Karl's repentance.
Karl saw, from the total astonishment in Pierre's and Stefan's faces, that his change of heart had been utterly convincing. He had even convinced himself.
***
Kristian had left Charlotte in the charge of a vampire named Maria, a girl with straight dark-blonde hair, an elfin face, and the eyes of a fanatic. She never smiled or spoke a word; perhaps she had been instructed not to speak to Charlotte. All her questions, "How long have you been here? Where do you come from?" went unanswered.
Maria brought a peasant woman for Charlotte to drink from. The woman's face was so sweet and kind that it was all Charlotte could do to feed. She took only a few swallows, barely enough to revive her strength, hating herself for wanting more.
"Take her away," Charlotte said, devastated. "Please let her go. If I can't choose my own victims I won't feed."
So Maria took the woman away, and Charlotte was left alone in a stone room, curled up on a wooden bed, watching the flames leaping in the firegrate. She knew the door was not locked; not much point in locking up a vampire who could walk through walls. I might escape… but I daren't try, not yet. What will happen?
Suddenly all the events loomed like a vast overblown painting on the ceiling of a chapel; nightmares of horror and ecstasy. The strangeness of her transformed body; the impossibility of quite believing or accepting what she had become. She had always been so afraid of people… now, to want not to flee from them but to embrace them in the most intimate way… all of it went against every layer of her nature. And yet, inside, there was a diamond-tough core that could accept it, that was wide open to the new and the impossible. Shake off this empty-headed bewilderment, this guilt, it said. The ecstasy you shared with Karl in the Crystal Ring, the sweetness of feeding, the glamour of it, Charlotte, the glamour… These are the things that matter. You know it. All the rest is human detritus. And this was not some new vampire self speaking. It was the true voice of her soul, as it had always been.
A Taste of Blood Wine Page 51