“You’re fucking amazing,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Me?” I release a breathy laugh and tighten my hold around his shoulders. “I’m not doing anything. You’re the one doing all the work. Oh!”
“You’re doing more than enough, baby,” Cole says. “You being here and putting up with my bullshit is everything. You’re my everything, Jenna.”
My eyes lock with his as a wave of emotion rolls over me from his words. “I’ll always be here, Cole. You have me. All of me. My body. My heart. It’s all yours for the taking.” Tangling my fingers in his hair, I pull his face to mine and let our heated breath mingle. “So take it.”
Our lips crash together in a fiery kiss that leaves me panting and practically sobbing—but somewhere in the midst of our passion infused moment, the mood ever so subtly changes. Cole’s movements slow, and I release the grip I have on his hair as I stroke my fingers to soothe the sting left behind. He kisses me again, but this time it’s different. It’s softer. Tender. Loving.
This is no longer just sex—maybe it never was. In this moment, I know it’s more than that. I’ve given him a piece of me that I’ll never get back, and a part of me thinks that should make me feel vulnerable, but I don’t. Cole and I have been through so much over the past few years, and the fact that he lets me into a place no one else has been makes me want to share my entire world with him.
I move my hand to the side of his face and hold on to his gaze as he slowly builds the pleasure within my body. I love this man so much; it’s crazy how that can even be considering he’s just recently come back into my life, but I do. No matter the obstacles, hiccups, or bumps in the road, this man is it for me. He’s my everything.
My muscles tense as my need for release hits the breaking point, and Cole increases his pace. He’s so attentive to my body, moving just the way I need him to move to bring me closer ... and closer.
“C-Cole.” I pant and dig my fingers into his shoulders. “I’m gonna—”
“I know, baby,” he says, kissing his way down my neck. “Take me with you.”
His lips fuse to the sensitive part of my neck as I squeeze myself around him and shatter into a thousand glorious pieces. Cole follows right behind me, releasing a muffled grunt against my skin as he continues to kiss my neck.
We’re both breathing heavy as we float back to reality from our high. A shudder ripples through Cole’s muscles, and he kisses me gently before carefully helping me to my feet. I straighten my dress, looking down as I smooth the skirt, and when I look back up, Cole is smiling at me as he tucks his shirt back into his pants.
“What’s that look about?” I ask.
“You,” he tells me and closes the space between us. He cradles my face in his hands and tucks his fingers into my hair. “You make me forget all the bad and remind me that there are still good things in this god-forsaken place.” He kisses the tip of my nose, my lips. “You keep me grounded. And I can’t help but wonder if we’d happened sooner rather than later if I’d’ve ever even left.”
I take a moment to process his words. “That’s all in the past, Cole,” I tell him. “Plus, I was with Mark back then and—”
“You should’ve been with me,” Cole interrupts me.
My eyes widen, and my heart beats a little faster.
“I was stupid, Jenna. Never took the chance when I should have.” His thumb strokes my cheek as he holds my gaze. “I’ve wasted so much of my life doing the wrong things, and I just want to reassure you that I’m done with all of that.”
“I believe you,” I say and rest my hand over his.
“You’re it for me,” Cole says, and he rests his forehead against mine. “You always have been.”
Tears quickly fill my eyes, and my fingers tighten around his hand. “You’re it for me, too, Cole.”
14
COLE
I make my way through the house to the side yard after promising Jenna I’d wait for her there so she can go to the bathroom to freshen up.
That woman is something else.
It amazes me how she can instantly lift my mood. Just her presence is all I need and somehow, I don’t know how, everything miraculously becomes all right. The rockin’ sex helps too, but it’s more than that. It’s … God, I don’t know. I’m not a poetic man, and although I wish I knew of a better way to put it, I can’t. I can say this, though: Whatever this is happening between Jenna and me, it’s right. And God help me I hope I never fuck it up.
The party is still full of life as I exit the house to the side yard. All of the guests are busy mingling, drinking, and dancing, so I go unnoticed as I stand here almost in the shadows as I wait for Jenna.
A low burp catches me by surprise, and as I turn behind me I see a man—nice—taking a piss on my mother’s rose bushes. He staggers as he takes the longest piss I’ve ever heard, and I watch him with disgust on my face.
I am so thankful I don’t drink anymore.
As the man finishes and turns my way, I return my focus to the party.
“Hey. Buddy. You got a light?”
Fucking hell.
Every muscle in my body tenses and my chest puffs as I turn around to glare at Mark. His eyes are glassy and red where there should be white. Damn, he must’ve been really slamming them back tonight.
“No fucking way,” Mark says. The cigarette hanging on his lips bounces with his words. “I thought I’d heard you were back, but, shit, I didn’t believe it.” He palms his jacket and his pockets, coming back with the lighter he’d asked me for not two seconds ago and lights his cigarette.
“Well, believe it,” I tell him as I try to cool down the anger boiling in my veins.
Mark takes a long drag, narrowing his eyes as he pulls, and blows smoke right in my face.
Mother. Fucker.
“What the fuck is your problem, Gentry?” I raise my voice and allow my rage to show through.
“You are, asshole,” Mark says and takes a step at me. “Why’d you come back anyway? Huh? Did you think people would’ve forgotten? Time goes by, all is good in the world, and pussyboy Sullivan can finally come home.” His voice lowers as he scowls at me with menace. “Let me tell you something, fucker, I’ve never forgotten.” He jabs his finger into his chest as he tells me this. “You, me, and Adam were a team. And you fucking killed him.”
I’m seething and on the verge of bashing his head in, but I try to rein it in and control my emotions. I won’t ruin my mother’s birthday party over this piece of shit. “Go home, Mark. You’re drunk and delusional. Sober up and then we’ll talk about why I’m an asshole.” I hold his glare for a moment longer, driving my point home of don’t-mess-with-me, and walk past him back toward the house. Fuck if I’m staying out here with him any longer.
Mark never could get over the fact that Adam died while I was covering him. Of course, I didn’t find this out until I was discharged from the hospital. He never came to see me. Not once. I did my best to shrug it off, thinking maybe it was hard for him to see me like that, especially since we’d both just lost someone very close to us. But that wasn’t the case.
About a week or so after I got home, we ended up running into each other at a local bar and things just erupted from there. I was so fucking happy to finally see him, and he just laid into me—flinging insults and yelling at me about Adam. Needless to say, it caught be off guard. I mean, I’d been battling with my own thoughts and feelings about Adam’s death, but hearing it come from someone else just destroyed me. Mark thought I was careless and claimed it was all my fault that Adam got shot. Jesus, Adam was my fucking friend too. Did he honestly believe that I just let that happen?
Things only got worse from there, and Mark’s viciousness and hostility toward me only escalated over the next couple of weeks. I’d not only lost one best friend, but then I’d lost another; one giving his life for his country, and the other giving in to utter hatred. That’s why I ditched town. I could only take so much of the arguments and the bitter c
omments before I started to wonder if everyone felt the same but just weren’t being as vocal about it as Mark was. Hell, if I’m going to be honest, a part of me still feels this way.
“Have you heard the good news yet?”
I close my eyes and keep walking as I take in a deep breath through my nose and release it slowly through my mouth.
“Jenna and I are getting married.”
That stops me. What the fuck did he just say? I turn my head to the side so he knows I’m listening.
“Been together long enough, finally decided ‘why the hell not?’”
Footsteps shuffle through the grass as he slowly approaches me.
“What? No ‘congratulations’?” he says. “Oh, wait a minute, that’s right. You have a thing for her, don’t you?”
I turn to face him, gritting my teeth so hard that pain shoots down my jaw.
“You never had a chance with her, Sullivan, and now you never will.” Mark takes another pull on his cigarette and shoots me a smug smile.
Returning his smugness, I call him on his bluff. “I know you’re lying, Mark. So whatever game you’re trying to play here, it isn’t going to work.”
“I’m not playing any games.” He drops his cigarette to the ground, grinding it out with the toe of his shoe. “Matter of fact, I think I’ll go track down my intended for round two,” Mark says before adjusting himself. “Her mouth on my cock sure sounds good right about now.”
The sound of my fist connecting with his face is all I register as blind rage takes over. Mark stumbles backward before charging me, and I use his drunken disability to my advantage to throw him to the ground. We tumble, and somewhere in the middle of all of it the son of a bitch gets in a lucky swing and clocks my jaw. I feel my teeth almost rattle, and then I completely lose myself to the rage, pounding on his face over and over and over again.
“Stop!” Jenna screams. “What are you guys doing? Stop!”
I can’t. I’m no longer in control. Blood pours from his mouth, and my knuckles burn, but I don’t care. I welcome it as all of the angst and burden I’ve held on to all these years get the vengeance they’ve craved for.
“Cole!” Jenna yells at me as she pulls on the arm I’m using to hold Mark down. “Cole, stop! Please!” Her voice breaks as she screams for someone to come help her, and then I feel her on my other side. “You’re going to kill him, Cole. Stop!”
I draw back and hear Jenna cry out as I deliver another punch before hands grab at me from behind.
“Cole, Cole, Cole,” my Uncle Roy says, speeding through the words as he and another man pull me off of Mark. “Snap out of it, son.”
My chest is heaving, my fists still clenched, as I glare at Mark. His face is a mess as he rolls over to spit. Another man appears and tries to help him up, but Mark angrily shoves him away as he stands up on his own. He salutes me with the middle finger and a good old “Fuck you, Sullivan” before heading for the cars.
“Someone stop him, please,” my uncle says. “He can’t drive like that.”
My body is still buzzing from the adrenaline as I look for Jenna. When I find her, my heart drops. Emma’s crouched down next to her as she examines Jenna’s face.
Oh God.
I hit her.
15
jenna
”It’s not as bad as it could’ve been,” Emma tells me as she brushes my hair away from my face and hands me a tissue.
We’ve locked ourselves in her parents’ bathroom as I clean myself up and examine my face. She’s right, though. The bright pink jagged circle on the high point of my cheek is nowhere near as bad as it could’ve been if Cole’s elbow had collided with my actual eye.
A soft sigh escapes me. What was I thinking? I shouldn’t have even attempted to hold him back. But I had to do something. I’m just glad I came out of the house when I did. Who knows what would’ve happened if I hadn’t stumbled upon them. An unsettling feeling creeps along my skin at just the thought.
A knock sounds at the door, and Emma hops off of the counter to answer it.
“Here’s the ice you wanted,” a man says, and I try to catch a glimpse of who he is because I don’t recognize the voice.
“Thanks,” Emma tells him, leaning against the door so I can’t see the man at all as they speak in low voices.
I smirk, then wince, as I turn back to the mirror to clean up. I’m a mess. On top of having the mascara beneath my eyes and the mark on my cheek, my eyes are red from crying, and I have a grass stain on my dress. Carefully, I dab beneath my eyes to remove the black drips.
The door softly closes and Emma walks back over to me.
“Here, let’s get some ice on that cheek.” Ever so gently, Emma places the cold bag against my face.
“Who was that?” I ask as I take over holding the bag for her.
“That?” Emma asks, and I nod with a smile. She lets out a soft laugh and crosses her arms as she leans against the counter. “Joshua the bartender.”
“Well, Joshua the bartender sounded pretty smitten with you from what little of your conversation I heard.”
“Yeah,” Emma says, and she tugs on her bottom lip. “We were kind of making out in the gazebo right before …”
“Right before I was stupid and tried to break up a fight between two Marines,” I finish for her.
She gives me a thoughtful look.
“What on earth could they’ve been fighting about like that?” I ask, though not to her in particular.
“No clue,” Emma answers me. “But I don’t think they’ve been on the best of terms for a while now—probably since they came back home from their tour.”
I shoot her a curious glance. “You think this goes back that far?”
Emma nods. “I don’t know what, but something had to have happened to put that rift between them. And whatever it is, I don’t think it happened here tonight.”
My head aches as I mull over her words. What could’ve possibly happened to make them want to destroy each other like that?
“Is Cole okay?” I ask and become a bit defensive when Emma shoots me the look. “What?”
“The man hit you and you want to know if he’s okay?”
“It was an accident,” I retort.
“I’m still going to kick his ass for being an idiot,” Emma tells me. “He should never have let himself get that far gone.”
I sigh and remove the bag of ice from my cheek. “I’m not going to make excuses for him because he was pretty crazy. But can you please be a good best friend and just tell me if he’s okay?”
“Fine,” Emma says with a huff. “But he and I are going to have some words first, so just sit tight and I’ll come back for you soon. Keep that ice on your face so it doesn’t swell.”
“What do you mean he left?” My heart is pounding as I pace the bathroom.
“My uncle said he tried to talk to him, but Cole muttered something about not wanting to hurt you and just … left.”
I stop and turn to her, running my fingers through my hair before resting my hands against my neck. “Did he say where he was going?” Panic builds in my chest and mixes with hysterics.
Emma holds my gaze for a long moment and then gives me the slightest shake of her head.
Releasing a ragged breath, I clutch my stomach and try to make myself breathe.
“Jenna, Jenna,” Emma says, and I feel her hands clasp my shoulders. “Calm down. We’re not going to have any luck finding him if you have a panic attack.”
I swallow hard against the lump in my throat and nod my head.
Deep breath in. Slow breath out. Think.
“I need my car,” I say, determination taking the dominant spot in my erratic emotions. I hurry down the steps with Emma behind me.
“Where are you going?” she asks me.
“Back to the lake house,” I tell her. “His stuff’s there, and if he’s bolting like we think he is, I’m hoping he’ll get his things before he does.”
Emma grabs my purse
and hands it over to me. “If he’s not there, you call me, and I’ll come help you look for him.”
“I will,” I say as she hugs me.
“Good.” Emma pulls back and gives me a small smile. “Now go get your man.”
Cole’s truck is in the driveway when I arrive back at the lake house. Relief washes over me at the sight.
Thank heavens he’s here.
Parking my car next to his truck, I turn off the ignition and glance around when I notice none of the lights in the house are on. A dark figure standing by the lake catches my eye and my heart leaps at the sight. Stepping out of my car, I slowly make my way over to Cole—stopping at the grass line to take my heels off before I hit the sand.
“Cole?” I say, a bit timid as I approach him.
“Please don’t come any closer,” he replies, his voice low and empty.
I take another cautious step. “Cole, please.”
“Jenna,” he warns. “I’m not in a good place right now, so please, for once, just listen to me.”
I’m pushing it, I know, but I move next to him, keeping a fair amount of distance between us. “I’m not afraid of you,” I assure him and soften my voice when I say it.
“You should be,” Cole says. “I’m unpredictable.” Neither his eyes nor his body has moved as he stands there with his hands in his pockets and stares out over the lake.
“Look at me, please.”
Cole’s jaw ticks and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard.
“Cole, please,” I beg.
Closing his eyes, Cole reluctantly turns to look at me—his eyes glinting with unshed tears.
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
We stand there in strained silence. Tears sting my eyes, and my throat feels like it’s closing up as I know what he’s about to tell me.
“I can’t do this,” Cole says, his voice barely audible as he releases a shaky breath. “I can’t stay here.”
My lips quiver, and I swallow against the sob that wants to break through. “Yes,” I tell him. “You can.”
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