by Jim Stovall
Stanley looked down defeatedly and said, “Oh, OK. I understand.”
He turned to walk away.
Miss Esther watched Stanley’s retreating back, and she stepped out onto the porch.
She called after him. “You know, it’s a nice day for a walk, Stanley. Maybe you should take a walk down by the ball field.”
Stanley paused in confusion momentarily, then turned, got a smile on his face, and said, “Thanks, Esther.”
Miss Esther warned, “Now don’t you go making a fool out of me.”
Stanley assured her, “I won’t. I promise.”
Stanley walked the now-familiar route to the park and headed directly for the ball field. He walked around the front of the field by the visitors’ bench.
Josh immediately saw Stanley approaching, and she turned away.
Cody was sitting in the bleachers next to Rachel with Cooper on her other side. Cooper just stared at Stanley noncommittally. Alex looked over and gave Stanley the evil eye as Josh was coming off the field.
Stanley called to her. “Hey, Josh. Can I talk to you for a second?”
Josh glared at Stanley, and she turned toward Alex. Alex continued defiantly to give Stanley the evil eye. Josh shrugged and warily began to walk toward Stanley. Alex turned up the heat, giving Stanley the two-fingers-tothe-eyes I’m-watching-you gesture.
Stanley was uneasy as Josh approached him from the other side of the fence. As she neared, he squatted down so he would be at her level.
Josh glared at Stanley through the chain link fence and blurted, “Make it quick. I need to get back to practice.”
Stanley spoke quietly and sincerely. “Listen, Josh. I know what I did was wrong. I lost my temper, and there is no excuse for that.”
Josh just looked at the ground between her and Stanley. She didn’t feel like giving him a break.
Alex continued to look on from the near distance. She called, “Come on, Josh. You’re up.”
Josh mumbled, “I gotta go,” as she turned to walk away.
Stanley pleaded desperately. “Josh, wait. Please.”
She stopped, turned, and looked back at Stanley impatiently.
“This is really important,” Stanley offered. “Please let me finish.”
Josh reluctantly walked back toward the fence.
Stanley spoke quickly, not wanting to lose the chance to reach out to her. “OK, I’ll cut to the chase. I lost my temper, and I was wrong. Can you please forgive me?”
Josh looked directly into his face and stared into his eyes.
Stanley was bewildered and asked, “What?”
Josh explained, “I just need to see into your eyes.”
Stanley asked, “My eyes? Why?”
Josh answered matter-of-factly, “To make sure you’re not lying.”
Josh continued to stare into Stanley’s eyes for a long moment.
Stanley awaited her verdict and asked, “Well?”
The ice cracked slightly between them, and Josh admitted, “You’re doing all right.”
She smiled a little.
Stanley returned her smile, nodded, and said, “Good.”
Stanley stood up from his crouch and grasped the fence that separated them. He had heard a wise man once explain that in order to receive forgiveness, you’ve got to be willing to give it away. Stanley had never known how hard that was. He knew he needed a way to keep Eddy’s memory alive while not living in the past.
Just then, Stanley understood that the only true and meaningful tribute to Eddy’s life was to move forward and take his memory along.
CHAPTER 21
No temple or courtroom was ever a place of forgiveness or resolution more than the ball field in the park that day. Time seemed to stand still as Stanley and Josh stood and looked at one another through the fence that surrounded the baseball diamond. Stanley and Josh both needed to find a place inside themselves to trust enough to accept and offer forgiveness.
The trust seemed to build between them as Stanley broke the silence and announced, “Here. I want you to have something.”
Stanley reached behind him and pulled the glove out of his back pocket.
A broad grin broke out on Josh’s face as she saw it. It was hard for her to believe what was happening.
She asked, “For real?”
Josh ran toward the end of the fence so she could get around to the other side where Stanley stood. The whole team had lined up along the edge of the field and looked on as Josh approached Stanley.
He finally noticed that the whole team was watching, so he smiled and waved. One of the players returned the wave.
Alex was still not totally convinced that Stanley was on the level. She glared at the player who had waved and punched him in the arm.
As Josh approached Stanley, he held the glove out toward her. She took it, put it on, and smiled up at Stanley. As he returned her smile, he watched her run back around the end of the fence and rejoin her teammates. Stanley walked to the end of the fence.
Josh stopped just before she reached her teammates. She turned abruptly and returned to Stanley. She reached up to him. Stanley bent down, and Josh kissed him on the cheek.
Josh beamed and said gratefully, “Thank you, Mr. Stan.”
Josh raced back toward her teammates holding out her new glove for everyone to see. Alex and the rest of the team were all buzzing with excitement as their star pitcher had a new glove and maybe a new friend.
Stanley stood alone watching the scene play out before him. He couldn’t stop smiling, and he felt that somehow a weight had been lifted from him.
Then, unexpectedly, all other sounds seemed to fall away, and Stanley could distinctly, inexplicably hear the sound of a beating heart. He reached up and put his hand on his chest over his heart. Somehow, he knew it was his own heartbeat.
Stanley watched Josh and the other players going through their normal practice routine.
Sam approached Stanley and said, “It does a heart good to help heal another person.”
Stanley turned to Sam, smiled, and agreed. “More than you know, Sam. More than you know.”
Stanley enjoyed the rest of the afternoon in the park. The grass seemed greener, the sky seemed bluer, and the joy of watching the kids practice baseball was beyond anything he had previously experienced in all the years he had coached.
As the sun slowly drifted into the western sky and the kids’ practice broke up with everyone picking up equipment and heading home, Stanley walked away from the baseball field.
He hadn’t gone far when Cooper joined him. They paused for a brief reunion as Stanley petted Cooper, and Cooper enthusiastically licked his hand. All seemed right with the world as Stanley and Cooper walked out of the park and headed for home.
Stanley felt that a day like this deserved a special celebration.
When Lisa drove into the driveway after a long day at work, she wasn’t sure what to expect at home. Recently, she never knew if she would find Stanley silent and depressed or raging with anger.
The light from the house seemed to glow from the windows as she approached the front door. As she entered, Lisa noticed that the living room was immaculate. Wonderful smells were emanating from the kitchen, and the table was formally set for two.
There was a vase of flowers placed at the center of the table, and candles were burning brightly. The lamp was prominently placed on the table as well.
Lisa followed the aroma of great food into the kitchen where she saw Stanley with an apron around his waist and a hand towel tossed over his shoulder.
Several pots were on the stove. One of them was boiling with noodles in it. Ingredients were spread throughout the kitchen. Stanley was humming to himself as he dipped his finger into another pot on the stove that held a red sauce. He tasted it and nodded in approval.
Lisa was stunned by the scene. She cleared her throat to get his attention. “Ahem.”
Stanley was startled. He whirled quickly and said, “Oh, hey. I didn’t hear
you come in. Um, dinner will be ready in a minute. Why don’t you go get changed.”
Lisa just stood there, staring at the scene dumbfounded.
Stanley approached her, gently grasped her by the shoulders, and turned her toward the door, saying, “Go on.”
Lisa left the kitchen with feelings of surprise, joy, and anticipation. Stanley quickly turned back to his culinary labors.
As Lisa changed clothes and prepared for what she hoped would be a very special evening, Stanley put the final touches on their celebration dinner. There was spaghetti with red sauce, garlic bread, and salad, and Stanley was just pouring the wine as Lisa joined him in the dining room wearing a dress he hadn’t seen in several years.
The couple sat down together at the table, experiencing feelings that they had not felt in their home since before the tragedy. They both knew they could never recapture what had been between them before, but something new and exciting was blooming in their lives.
CHAPTER 22
There are times when a familiar place can seem so comfortable and normal that it is simply overlooked; and then there are times when one can experience the most extraordinary event within an ordinary or normal setting.
Like millions of couples that same evening, Stanley and Lisa were eating dinner together, in their dining room, inside their average home, in their normal neighborhood; but that night, among all nights, was special.
Lisa looked at the beautiful flowers on the table that Stanley had picked from their own yard. They were highlighted by the soft glow of the candles, and the whole setting seemed magical.
Lisa spoke in disbelief. “Stanley, I don’t know what to say here. This is amazing.”
Stanley responded, “Lisa, before you say anything, I really need to say something to you.”
Lisa gazed at him intently.
Stanley continued, “This whole thing with Charles and the believing that things can be different. It has got me thinking. Then with Josh…”
Lisa was confused. She interrupted, asking, “Josh? From next door?”
Stanley nodded and explained, “Yeah. I hired her to help me clean the garage.”
Lisa still seemed confused as Stanley forged ahead, saying, “Well, we were talking, and she said something that took me by surprise.” Stanley paused to collect his thoughts and then continued, “She said if she could have anything she wanted in life, it would be to have a family… just like you and me.”
Lisa wasn’t sure how to take that and asked, “Are we a family?”
Stanley spoke solemnly. “Lisa, I really want us to be.”
Lisa was struggling with what she was hearing.
She tried to put her thoughts and feelings into words, saying, “Stanley, I really want to believe you, but…”
Lisa was overwhelmed with emotion and unable to continue.
Stanley tried to recover the moment and offered, “Listen. Something incredible happened today. I gave Eddy’s baseball glove to Josh.”
Lisa couldn’t believe what she was hearing as she knew what that glove had meant to Eddy and what it represented to Stanley.
“You did?”
Stanley nodded and explained excitedly. “It’s something I knew I needed to do. When I did… You’re never going to believe this.”
Lisa didn’t know where this was heading but knew that it was something vitally important to Stanley. She reached across the table and held his hand as he shared his experience, saying, “I actually heard the sound of my heartbeat. I know it sounds strange, but I could actually hear it.”
Emotion flooded over Lisa.
She said, “Stanley, I can hardly believe what you are saying.”
Stanley tried to gather his thoughts and deal with everything that had happened that day. It was hard to make sense of it all, but he knew he had to share it.
He admitted, “Honey, you were right. For the last two years, the thing I feared the most was letting go. As if doing that was wrong. But when I gave Josh that glove… When I did, I felt a sense of peace come over me. I haven’t felt that in a long time. I feel like everything is different now. I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been.”
Lisa stared into Stanley’s eyes for a long moment, daring to believe what she had heard. For the first time in two years, Lisa was sitting face to face with the man she knew and loved. She leaned toward Stanley, and they kissed.
The couple talked animatedly as they enjoyed the rest of their dinner. In some ways, they felt as if they were getting reacquainted, and in other ways, they were revisiting old, familiar places together.
The next morning, Lisa awoke well-rested, energized, and excited to meet the new day. One glance beside her told her that Stanley’s side of the bed had been slept in. She smiled with satisfaction and got out of bed.
Stanley had gotten up early and left the house quickly that day as he wanted to get to the ball field before the team started to practice.
As Stanley and Cooper rushed across the park toward the baseball diamond, the coach was just unloading the equipment and trying to organize the team. The players looked on as Stanley spoke privately to the coach for a moment. Then the coach gave Stanley a Tigers baseball hat and a coach’s whistle. Stanley and the coach shook hands. Stanley looked excited, and the coach seemed relieved.
Josh ran up to Stanley and gave him a big hug.
That night, Josh and Rachel joined Stanley and Lisa for dinner in the Walters’ home. Lisa listened excitedly as Stanley and Josh told baseball stories, recounting all the events of that day’s practice.
Rachel secretly slipped Cooper some food under the table.
Lisa couldn’t help but consider how the changes in Stanley, along with the presence of the two girls, made their sad house seem like a happy home. She had barely known Josh and Rachel even though they were living in Miss Esther’s house and she saw them around the neighborhood every day.
It was apparent to Lisa that Rachel had gone through a horrible ordeal. Beyond the fact that she wouldn’t or couldn’t talk, there were the angry burn scars on her arm and the charred rag doll she had to have with her at all times.
Josh, Lisa knew, had been abused and neglected for most of her life. She had been shuffled from foster home to foster home and from institution to institution so much that she never felt safe and secure anywhere.
With all of the dysfunction and turmoil that Stanley and Lisa had been through in their own lives, it was amazing that the four of them could somehow come together around the dinner table and everything seem so normal and natural.
With all of the miracles going on around her, Lisa wondered what else might be possible. She couldn’t wait to find out.
CHAPTER 23
Stanley woke early the next day and realized that, for the first time in months, he had made it through the night without being forced to endure the reoccurring dream of the worst day of his life.
Stanley slipped out of bed so as not to wake Lisa. He looked down at her sleeping form and thought how lucky he was that she had patiently stuck with him over the past few years.
Stanley rushed down the hallway to the office as he couldn’t wait to begin writing the accounts of all his experiences and the thoughts that went along with them.
He felt he’d only been working a few minutes, but when Lisa came in to offer him some iced tea, Stanley realized it was already mid-morning.
Lisa asked, “How’s it going?”
Stanley looked away from his computer screen and glanced toward Lisa, saying, “I think I’ve figured out what my last wish is.”
Lisa asked, “Yeah, what?”
Stanley stated confidently, “To love what I do.”
Lisa nodded her head in agreement and left Stanley to continue his writing. He was in a productive, creative flow, the likes of which he had never experienced.
Later that same afternoon, Stanley was on the phone with his literary agent. Stanley excitedly explained what he had been doing and all of the things he had written about his exper
iences.
His agent had nearly given up on Stanley. Years before, Stanley had been one of his better clients, but over the past couple of years, there had been an ongoing series of disappointments, missed deadlines, and excuses.
The agent couldn’t believe that somehow Stanley was totally transformed. It was like the old Stanley Walters, but even better.
Stanley’s literary agent gave him a lot of positive feedback and some prominent people for him to call on to get interviews for the new book project.
As the agent spoke, Stanley scribbled notes on a pad. He wrote: Interview with Steve Forbes. November 3. 2:30 P.M.. Set up meeting with Paula Marshall and Harland Stonecipher.
Stanley couldn’t believe what he was hearing as his literary agent opened the floodgates of his publisher’s contacts. Before he knew it, Stanley had access to a veritable Who’s Who of celebrities and high profile, successful people.
Stanley bounded into his publisher’s office and was greeted with excitement and enthusiasm by everyone he ran into. The whole team was thrilled about Stanley’s new book project.
His publisher shook his hand vigorously and said, “Stanley, we are proud to have you back on the team.”
Stanley rushed home excitedly and called every one of his creditors that had been hounding him. He apologized to them all for the delay and made arrangements to get everyone paid in full.
His excitement for his reemerging career was equaled by the joy he felt coaching again.
It was a beautiful day as Josh was pitching, and Stanley was hitting the ball so that the team could practice their fielding. Josh wound up and threw her best fast ball. Stanley felt like he was a teenager again on the high school baseball team. He swung with all his might and connected solidly. The ball rocketed high into the air and soared over the outfield, clearing the fence by a great distance.
There was a handsome jogger plodding his way around the park just as Stanley’s homerun blast came back to earth. Stanley started to yell, warning the jogger, but it was too late. The ball hit him squarely atop the head. Stanley and the whole team raced out to check on the jogger; but within a few minutes, he was revived and seemed almost back to normal.