by Robin Gianna
No one seeing her work at the hospital, the picture of calm confidence, would guess at the insecurity that lay behind her professional mask. And that her mask had slipped because of the situation he’d placed her in here, reminding her of her difficult adolescence, made him feel angry and remorseful and determined to make it up to her.
“Miranda, I wish my parents had behaved differently. That you weren’t feeling the way you are now. All I can say is that I think you’re absolutely perfect, and anyone who doesn’t see you for who you are, appreciate you for who you are, is a fool.”
“Thank you. That’s...that’s a very sweet thing for you to say. And in case you don’t know it, that’s true for you, too.”
Her words and expression loosened the band of guilt in his chest. Even in the darkness, he could see that the eyes looking up at him looked less forlorn. Shining with the amazing blue that startled him nearly every time he looked into them, and he found himself reaching for her before he’d even thought about it. Pulling her close, and as he did so, her lips parted. He wasn’t sure what his intention had been, but seeing the look on her face gave him a very clear idea of exactly what he wanted to do now.
“It’s not sweet. It’s just true.” And he lowered his head to kiss her.
“Your parents aren’t out here now,” she whispered, her breath feathering against his lips before his mouth connected with hers. “There’s no need to kiss me.”
“Believe me, I do need to kiss you. I’ve been thinking of little else since I kissed you before. From the moment I saw you standing here in the moonlight.”
And because it was true, he did, wanting to taste again the soft lips he’d barely been able to pull back from when his parents had come into the room. For a long moment she stood there motionless, a little stiff, seeming to absorb what was happening between them, until he could feel her finally melt against him. A gasp left her mouth and swirled into his and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. It was so good, so intoxicating, he found himself crushing her close, loving the feel of her lush, full breasts against his chest, the chemistry between them practically igniting the air as he deepened the kiss. Her body fit perfectly with his, and vague thoughts of secretly slipping to one of their rooms and making love with her short-circuited the back of his brain.
No. The thought both aroused and disturbed him. He’d asked her to come here as a friend, to help him. Not to push himself on her while she was feeling vulnerable, stuck at his parents’ home with only him for company in the midst of their disapproving attitudes that had disturbed her so much.
He forced himself to pull back and look into the blue of her eyes which, even in the night air, he could tell were focused on him with the same turmoil and uncertainty he felt. Not sure exactly what to say, to explain what had just happened, he dropped his arms.
He couldn’t do this. Miranda was doing a favor for him by coming here with him. A bigger favor than he’d even realized, not knowing the lack of belonging and welcome she’d felt in the Davenport home, and now being subject to the same thing here.
Only a special woman who deeply cared about helping others would have agreed to this ruse, knowing his parents would probably be unhappy about their “engagement.” What kind of rat would take advantage of her, kissing her and maybe even eventually making love with her, when, as far as he was concerned, their relationship would end as soon as they returned to the States in a week?
She’d admitted she’d like to have a family of her own someday, hadn’t she? A husband who would be faithful and a home with children who loved their parents and one another. She hadn’t had that growing up with a single mother, and while she now had a taste of that with her Davenport half-siblings, it was clear that having it all, belonging to a family that truly was all hers, was important to her.
And he was a man who could never give her that.
“I’m sorry. I hope you don’t think I invited you here to be inappropriate with you. I’m not sure where that came from, but it won’t happen again.”
Confusion clouded her eyes, and he thrashed himself for being so weak as to kiss her when he shouldn’t have. Had he hurt her feelings in the process? Reaching to hold her cold hand, he led the way back inside, not sure what exactly to do when they got there.
“Mateo.”
“Yes?” He risked a glance down at her, relieved to see her expression was more normal now and, in fact, held some of the same determination he’d seen on the funicular earlier.
“I’d like to talk with your parents again. Have something to eat with them. It was silly of me to react the way I did. Part of the plan was to be engaged to a woman they wouldn’t approve of, right? I’m fine with being that person. Really.”
“Are you sure?” He studied her, wondering if keeping her here a few more days would be completely unfair. “I can’t promise that my parents will magically be nice to you. In fact, I can guarantee that, right now, they’re trying to figure out how to scare you off or change my mind. Stick me with some Catalonian girl who fits their criteria.”
“Like I said, I can handle it. I survived moving into the Davenport mansion that was vibrating with disapproval when I was only sixteen, didn’t I? If I could do that, I’m sure I can let your parents’ dislike roll off my back.”
“It didn’t roll off twenty minutes ago.”
“And I feel embarrassed about that. I’m a grown woman, not a child whose feelings get hurt at the least thing. I was being absurd, and I’m over it.”
He looked at her closely, trying to decide the right and fair thing to do that wouldn’t upset her any more. “It might still work for you to be angry with me and ditch me. I could play up having a broken heart to keep my parents’ matchmaking at bay. Act wild and go out with a different woman every night, mortifying my parents so much they’d be happy to see the back of me returning to the States for a while.”
“Would that work?” Her lips quirked. “I have to wonder if that’s always been your MO, and everyone’s used to it already.”
He’d only been partly joking about seeing other women, since that strategy might actually work. But looking at the curve of her lips, the cute way she shook her head at him, he knew Miranda was the woman he wanted to spend time with here. There was something about the way she’d faced her fear on the ride up the mountainside, the way her intelligent mind worked, the way she smiled and laughed, that made the thought of spending time with anyone else seem utterly unappealing.
“Not exactly my MO. My wildness only comes out on occasions that warrant it.” And there it came again. That shimmer of awareness, the chemistry that had zinged between them from practically the moment they’d met, was crackling all around them, and he knew he had to cool it before he did something he’d regret.
Like drag her to his room and make love with her all night, forgetting all about the reason they’d come here in the first place.
Mateo breathed deeply and picked up the pace to the house, forcing his mind away from thoughts of hot sex that kept interrupting his good intentions to keep it strictly friendly between them. “So, what’s it to be?” he asked, somehow managing to make his voice sound calmly conversational. “I can have the Alves jet ready to fly later tonight or tomorrow morning. Or we can go back and talk to my parents more, setting the tone for this trip and my life. Giving them hints that they shouldn’t expect me to move back permanently, at the same time reassuring them that I’m planning to take on at least some of the responsibility they’re worried about.”
“I’m in,” Miranda said firmly. “I just realized with certainty that I’m not done adventuring here and trying to be at least a little crazy. I can do this. My sister Penny would be proud that I’m not bailing out.”
“Gracias. I’m proud of you, too.” He brought her cold hand to his lips and, after a long moment, forced himself to let go. “Tonight, we’l
l deal with my parents together. Steel ourselves for the party they’d already planned with a number of friends tomorrow night, which now will be a vehicle to announce our engagement. To try to take our minds off how awful that’s going to be, we’ll spend tomorrow adventuring again, okay? I think you’ll enjoy what I have planned.”
“You said that about Montserrat, completely leaving out details of the funicular flying through outer space up the mountain.”
“Do you trust me, Miranda?”
Her eyes met his for a long time before she smiled, then said softly, “Yes, Mateo Alves. Yes, I think I do. I do.”
“Bueno.” His chest felt lighter at her answer, and he couldn’t help but drop a soft kiss to her lips one more time. “I promise not to let you down.”
* * *
Miranda wasn’t sure what all the emotions were that swirled around in her chest and belly. Excitement? Yes. Who wouldn’t be, getting to spend another glorious afternoon with Mateo in amazing Spain?
But discomfort squiggled its way in there, too. Last night had been so strange, meeting his parents, Mateo upset with them, kissing her breathless, then backing off, clearly regretting that he had, even as he’d asked her to spend today with him.
Which made her regret the kiss, too. The last thing she wanted was to be worryingly attracted to a man who wanted to be “just friends.” Except the way her heart fluttered as she combed her hair into the neat bob she kept it in told her that maybe it was too late. But she was no slave to her hormones, right? She could be friends with Mateo, and not want anything else. Couldn’t she? A fierce little inner voice told her there was no question about it. The man was way out of her league, and falling for him would just set her up for heartache.
Mateo had refused to tell her what he’d planned for them to do this morning, just advising her to dress warmly and to bring extra layers, which was intriguing. Obviously, they were going to do something outdoors. Hopefully it wasn’t anything more daring than hiking this time. She’d loved seeing Montserrat, but thinking about that funicular ride still gave her palpitations, as did anticipating what he had in mind, and whether or not it might include more kissing. Which, of course, it wouldn’t, and why was she even thinking about it?
He’d been sure to keep his distance from her the rest of last night, even in front of his parents. No more kissing or touching, just that I’m so in love with you look he kept giving her that was impressively convincing. Maybe that look was what kept stirring her all up, even when she’d scolded herself to stop. She knew what this game was about, and deluding herself it could be anything else was just stupid.
Dinner with the Alveses had been awkward at best, but at least they’d been civil toward her. Less civil toward Mateo, which was hard to understand, and made Miranda glad she’d come to support him, no matter how odd and uncomfortable it felt to play this charade. How could they seem to disapprove of him so much? He’d served in the military, helping save lives. Then had honed those and other skills in the U.S., helping more people. And he’d come back as they’d asked, trying to find a balance between how he wanted to live his life and his obligations to family and their role here.
Yet, by the way they spoke to him, you’d think he was living his life as a frivolous playboy, off spending his family’s wealth.
The part of her that saw such innate strength in the man told her that seemed impossible. But he’d fully admitted he didn’t want to come home, and they’d always been able to rely on Emilio. Was part of the reason for that because he himself believed he didn’t measure up to his brother?
She shook her head. It was true she didn’t really know him, except that she knew he was good at his job. And it wouldn’t be surprising if “playboy” fit into his lifestyle somewhere, since she was positive most women would fall into his arms at the least invitation. Hadn’t she been one of them?
To her shock, she had, and the memories of that brought hot color to her face. Thinking bad thoughts at his apartment, then falling into his kisses so deeply she’d nearly forgotten how to breathe. Which was beyond embarrassing, since the first time he’d kissed her, he’d done it for his parents’ benefit. And the second time? Who knew what that had been about, but the way he’d instantly backed off had told her loud and clear that it hadn’t been because he felt the same pull she did. Maybe it was that playboy thing, and he always kissed any woman he was close to in a dark garden lit by a fingernail moon. And hadn’t she learned that playboy types, or men wanting to date her for her Davenport connections, weren’t to be trusted? Not with her heart, at least.
This whole thing is a charade, remember, Miranda? she scolded herself. Not. Real.
She huffed out a sigh and stepped down the beautifully decorated stairs to find Mateo waiting for her by the front door, as he’d promised, giving her a warm smile. Paula was standing patiently next to him, holding a pair of leather boots and beaming. Her expression helped Miranda relax and smile, too. At least one person in this house seemed to like her, and was happy for Mateo. Too bad her happiness would be dashed in the very near future when they broke off their “engagement.”
“We’re lucky to have a beautiful day,” Mateo said. “Ready to get some fresh air and see more of the beauty of northern Spain?”
“I’m ready. Though I know there’s skiing in the Pyrenees, and I’m hoping that you telling me to wear warm layers isn’t because you’re planning on us doing that, because I don’t know how.”
“Not today. Though I’m happy to teach you to ski tomorrow, if you like.”
“No, thanks. I’m beginning to see that my desire to be adventurous is battling with the wimpy side of me I didn’t realize was there.” Embarrassingly true. Which was one more reason she was glad she’d agreed to come, despite everything. Definitely past time to push herself out of her cocoon a little more. “Tell me what you have planned, so I can stop worrying. Or start worrying, depending on what it is.”
Paula looked up at a chuckling Mateo. “You are taking Dr. Davenport paragliding, yes? Show her the beautiful scenery of the area of my birth? I know that has always been a favorite pastime of yours. She will love it.”
“No, Paula. My fiancée is not fond of heights.” Mateo’s smile flat-lined and he took the boots from the housekeeper’s hands. “We’ll just be hiking. Thank you for bringing her some boots.”
“I am sorry, Mr. Mateo. I...I should have realized,” Paula said, now looking upset and worried, her smile gone. “I know that it hasn’t been very long, and—”
“It’s fine, Paula. Are you ready, Miranda?”
He helped her with her coat before leading her to his car, and as they drove in silence she had to wonder about his exchange with Paula. The way he’d interrupted, then dismissed the woman’s words seemed very unlike him. Coupled with the expression on his face, which could only be described as grim, and Paula’s obvious distress, it was clear something was bothering him.
“We’ll be driving through parts of the Parque Nacional de Ordesa y Monte Perdido—our national park. Then hiking some of the beautiful trails. Don’t worry.” His teeth flashed in a smile, banishing some of the grimness as they drove down the winding road from his parents’ estate. “We’ll stay in the lower elevations and off the cliffs. It’s too late in the season to go on the high roads, which are likely covered in snow. But you’ll enjoy the panoramic views and communing with nature, I promise.”
“Sounds wonderful. This trip is helping me see that I spend way too much time in the city, and shut inside the busy hospital. Breathing fresh air and having nature all around me sounds like the perfect getaway.” Especially with Mateo Alves to look at along with the mountains and valleys. She’d admire him the same way, with a detached appreciation for beauty. She could do that. If she tried hard enough.
“Bueno. Paula has packed us a picnic lunch. Hopefully it’s warm enough to enjoy it outdoors, but if it’
s too cold, we’ll make it a car picnic, if that’s all right with you?”
“So long as we’re not hanging up in the sky from a funicular, hang-glider, or ski lift, anything and everything is all right with me.”
“I’ll put that in my reference notes. Everything is fine with you except hanging from the sky—does that almost sound like a song lyric to you? I think I’ll compose that, and title it ‘Miranda in the Sky with Diamonds’.” He grinned and reached across the console to tap the ring he’d given her to wear as part of their ruse.
“I think that song’s sort of taken. And the diamond isn’t really mine.”
“All right, how about ‘Miranda’s eyes are like diamonds the color of the sky.’ How’s that for romantic?”
“Save it for when your parents are around to hear it. And who knew you had mad skills like song-writing to add to your résumé?” She kept her voice light, fighting down the silly flutter in her tummy when he talked about romance. And why was he? He’d made it clear last night he didn’t think of her in that way. Or, at least, didn’t want to. Flirting probably just came as naturally to the man as breathing, which she would do well to remember, and not read any meaning into it.
He gave her that grin that made her stomach flutter annoyingly even more, then sent the car through mountain passes at speeds that would have thrilled Penny, but had Miranda clutching her seat and holding her breath. She knew if she asked, he’d slow down, but hadn’t she decided that it was past time to live her life a little more on the edge? This trip was certainly accomplishing that in more ways than one.
Mateo told her about the old and charming towns, as well as educating her on the geographic elements they passed. She gazed in wonder, thinking how incredible it would be to live here. She knew Mateo’s reasons for moving to New York, but had to admit that the longer she was here, the harder it was for her to imagine he’d planned to leave all this behind forever, until the tragedy of his brother’s death was forcing him to modify that plan.