by Robin Gianna
If he missed her as much as she missed him.
Every time an ambulance brought a patient to the ER, she found herself looking to see who the EMT was. Not once all week had it been Mateo, and she’d cautiously hoped he might have gone to Spain. But when she casually asked one of his co-workers, she was shocked to learn he’d asked to be moved to a different precinct.
Guilt clawed at her chest. He hadn’t gone home. Her breaking up with him had just pushed him to move on to a different job. He’d talked about how much he enjoyed working as a team with the other EMTs, and now he had to learn to work with new people all over again.
Miranda grabbed her coat from her locker and slowly headed to the hospital’s back door, wondering if she’d made a mistake. Had she abandoned him right when he’d needed her most? Should she have stayed to be there for him, gently encouraging him to talk with his parents? Nudging him to go home again to try to mend the fences that had yawned even wider apart after she’d agreed to fake an engagement?
Feeling too unsettled to think about going to her apartment, she decided she should stop being such a hermit and mingle with the New Yorkers and visitors who were enjoying the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree that had gone up the day before. It would remind her of skating with Mateo on the plaza, but it wasn’t as though he wasn’t on her mind anyway.
Maybe one good thing could come of this pain and emptiness she felt. Maybe she’d change the way she lived in New York, get out and explore and have adventures like Mateo had encouraged her to. Be bolder and braver. Or would that just make her miss him even more, wishing so much he was there to share it all with her?
Standing in front of the huge pine tree, she hardly noticed the cold wind stinging her cheeks. Dozens of people were there, but somehow she felt more alone than she could remember ever feeling in her life. She took a breath, forcing herself to participate in the cheers as thousands of colorful lights came on and brightened all of Rockefeller Center.
Couples and families stood smiling, holding hands and hugging, and Miranda swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill over. Wishing so much that Mateo was standing there with her, holding her hand, smiling at her. That his mother, who loved Christmas and holiday decorations, could be there too, bringing Ana some happiness in the midst of such a difficult time in her life.
As she stared at the sparkling tree, bringing happiness to so many people, an idea seeped into Miranda’s mind, then grew.
She’d been the one to bring chaos and stress to the Davenports’ home thirteen years ago. Had made things worse between Mateo and his parents, widening the divide between them. What if it was time for her to be the one to fix things instead? To mend a rift and bring people closer together instead of pulling them apart?
A small smile started to form, banishing her tears. Optimism slowly filled her heart, followed by a conviction that it was the absolute right thing to do. Christmas was about miracles, wasn’t it? Maybe, just maybe, she could make a miracle of her own.
* * *
Mateo trudged up the stairs to his apartment, wondering when the days might start feeling different from one another. When Saturdays and Mondays and Thursdays wouldn’t all blur together into a week of just going through the motions. Taking care of patients, then running errands, then heading back to his apartment, alone. Seeing happy couples hand in hand and kissing, which made him physically ache. Seeing mothers and fathers and children laughing and window-shopping and obviously enjoying the kind of close family bond only parents and siblings were blessed to have.
How had his family gotten it so wrong? How much of it was his fault? The more he thought about what Miranda had said in her note, the more he wondered if he’d blamed his parents when, truthfully, they’d all had a hand in the way their family had fractured over the years.
He’d been more than happy to stay extra time in the army when Emilio had been released early. He was the one who’d left the country and rarely returned for visits. For the first time, he tried to see it from his parents’ perspective, and he could understand why they’d been angry—hurt, really—at the distance he’d put between them, both physically and emotionally.
He fingered the box in his pocket that he’d planned to mail home, and suddenly realized that wasn’t good enough. That Miranda, as usual, had been right. That he needed to go to Spain and deliver it himself. He had to quit hiding from the guilt and pain about Emilio. Now that Miranda was gone from his life, protecting himself from that pain by living in New York wasn’t working anymore.
He’d go home and spend time with his parents. Really spend time with them, and let them know that, despite being gone for so many years, he loved them. Talk about how much he’d loved Emilio, confess the guilt he felt over not being there for him during tough times. Deal with that pain. And once he had, once his family was more together than it was now, he’d come back and find Miranda. Maybe if he had his life together, she’d finally see that he truly loved her.
Yeah, that’s what had to happen, and the sooner it happened, the sooner he could come back and see Miranda again. He hurried to his apartment to make a plane reservation to Spain, pronto. He unlocked his door then came to a dead stop. Stunned, because there were three people sitting in his living room.
The three people who meant the most in the world to him.
“Hello, Mateo,” Miranda said, her voice sounding a little thin as she stood. “I thought you should have an early Christmas gift. A visit from your parents, so you can talk things through.”
“Miranda. Madre. Padre. I can’t...believe you’re all here.”
His mother stood and walked to him, her face anxious and strained and full of something else. Remorse?
“Mateo, I’m so sorry we have been such fools, only expressing anger and disappointment instead of telling you how much we love you.”
To his shock, her eyes filled with tears, and he closed the gap between them to take her hands. “Mother, it’s all right. I’ve made mistakes too. Things have been hard for all of us.”
“Miranda tells me that you believe we loved Emilio more. That’s just not true.” She squeezed his hands tightly. “We loved you every bit as much, and were heartbroken when you left.”
“I didn’t think you needed me there, with Emilio taking care of everything.”
“We always needed you, if only to have you close.” A tremulous smile touched her lips. “Emilio missed you, too, and I understand now how you tried to protect him. The two of you always had such a special bond, and I know you were a good brother to him.”
His throat closed, knowing that wasn’t true. And now was the time to confess that. “I let him down. I should have been there for him when things with Camilla got worse. I might have kept him from paragliding that day.”
“No.” His mother shook her head sadly. “It wasn’t your job to ensure that Emilio made good decisions. If anyone must feel guilt, it’s your father and me for insisting they marry. For being so blind.”
That statement struck Mateo like a hard blow. He realized they all shared the same pain, feelings of guilt they had to let go of to move on.
Mateo’s gaze moved to Miranda. Their eyes met, and just seeing that beautiful blue from across the room made his chest ache. Made him want to grab her into his arms and never let her go, no matter if she tried to leave him again or not.
And wouldn’t that make him the same, pushy man he’d been last time?
No, what he needed to do was romance her, give her the time he hadn’t given her before. Prove to her how much he loved her. How much he needed her. How much he wanted the forever-after with her he’d never thought he’d want with anyone.
“I need to talk to you, Miranda.”
“Talking with your parents is more important.” She looked down, then away, apparently wanting to look anywhere but at him, which scared the hell out of him. But
he had to force himself to breathe and be patient. “I think they have other things they want to say.”
“Yes, we do,” his mother said.
It was all he could do to turn his attention from the woman he loved to focus on his mother as she continued. “We’re very sorry for trying to make you move back home. We’ll stop trying to make you step into Emilio’s shoes, if only you’ll do what you already promised. Which I don’t think you’ll mind, sí? That you’ll come visit sometimes, and bring Miranda with you. That’s all we want.”
“Bring Miranda with me?” His heart thumped in his chest as he swung his attention back to her, wondering if for some reason she’d told them they were still engaged. Then again, he hadn’t told them they weren’t, so who knew what they thought? “I would love to do that, but Miranda broke off our engagement, even though I’m crazy in love with her.”
“What?” His mother swung toward Miranda, her eyes wide. “You didn’t tell me this! How could you leave my Mateo? He is the best man you could possibly want.”
That his mother was saying those words about him were unbelievable enough, and her next words astonished him even more.
“You must convince Miranda to marry you, Mateo,” she said in the commanding voice he was used to. Hearing it this time would have made him smile if the stakes weren’t so high. “She is wonderful, coming to us and insisting we all get past our frustrations with one another. Talk about Emilio and how much we miss him. If you come to Spain for an extended visit, she could even take over the old doctor’s office and see patients there. Locals, and your father and I, would be most grateful not to have to always go to Barcelona to get medical advice and treatment.”
“Yes. We need a doctor, and Miranda has already shown how good she is,” his father chimed in.
“A very interesting idea, Madre and Padre.” He reached for his mother and gave her a hug, wanting to end this particular visit fast so he could get on with the next important reconnection—with his ex-fiancée. “I have to talk with Miranda about all that, but first I do have a gift for you.”
“A gift?”
The surprise on his mother’s face would have made him feel guilty enough, but when tears swam in her eyes again he thrashed himself for neglecting her for so long. But those days were over.
“Miranda’s suggestion. I hope you like it.”
He held out the wrapped box, and his mother opened it, then gasped as the tears overflowed. “A bracelet, to go with the one Emilio gave me.” She lifted her watery gaze to his. “Does this mean you’re coming home for good?”
He glanced at Miranda, and his heart stumbled because, instead of looking like she wanted to run into his arms, she was biting her lip and looking worried, the same way she had before she’d left him. “That has a lot to do with Miranda. Will you leave us alone to talk about it? I’ll come to your hotel for breakfast to work out some details.”
“Fine. Good.” She gave his father the “look”, which meant she wanted to give them the privacy he’d asked for. “Here’s our hotel information. Let us know what time. Come, Rafael.”
Mateo hugged them both, and already the heavy weight that had hung on his shoulders the past six months felt lighter. Except there was another, even bigger weight crushing his chest until he could barely breathe.
Closing the door behind them, he moved toward Miranda, not sure whether he should fold her in his arms and kiss her, or give her space, which he hadn’t done enough of before. He pulled in a breath and forged forward with the most critical conversation he’d had in his life.
“Thank you for reaching out to them and bringing them here. You’re incredible. The most special woman I’ve ever known. And now my parents finally realize it, too.”
* * *
Miranda’s heart stuttered at his words before she reminded herself that him saying she was a special woman wasn’t a big deal, under the circumstances. “Your situation helped me see things about my own life I hadn’t fully realized. That I’d carried the weight of Vanessa’s dislike for all these years to the point where I’d let it dictate who I believed I was. That I was the cause of the rift in my family. But I know now that I can’t change that situation, that all I have control over is how I react to it. It struck me that you were doing the same thing, and I felt bad about making your family situation worse. So I brought them here to help you all put that baggage behind you. Move toward a better relationship that will make you all happy.”
“Miranda.” He wrapped his arms around her, bringing her close to the warm body she’d missed so much. “It’s terrible that you’ve believed your family issues were your fault when in truth the problems were caused by your father.”
“Hey, I’m not the only one. You were sure your parents thought Emilio was better than you, and you believed it, too. But of course it’s not true at all.”
“Maybe the reason we fell in love so fast is because we’re more alike than we knew. That we were meant to help each other let go of those things. To have wonderful adventures together, bring out the best in each other.”
“I don’t think you really love me, Mateo,” she whispered, wanting so much to be wrong. “It was just the difficulties in your life that made you believe you did.”
“Is that why I think about you all day, every day? Why I close my eyes and remember how you looked with the breeze blowing your hair on the funicular? Why I remember how tough you were in the tunnel, and all the ways you’re a great doctor? Why I can taste you and feel your soft skin against mine even when I’m sleeping? Why I’ve been completely miserable without you for the past week? I guess you’re right. I guess that’s not love.”
Her chest expanded with emotion, but she was so afraid to believe it. So afraid he’d regret marrying when he’d never wanted that in his life. She looked up at him, tears stinging the backs of her eyes. “I don’t know what to say. What to think.”
“Up at Montserrat, you told me you’d had a miracle in your life once, and I said I didn’t believe in miracles. But I was wrong.” He cupped her face in his hands, and the tender look in his eyes stopped her breath. “You made me believe in miracles, Miranda, and my miracle is you. You’ve made me see how I shut myself off from being hurt. By my parents, by the guilt I felt over not being there for my brother, by any woman after seeing how much he was hurt by his wife. You’ve done that, too. Not believed in yourself enough. What do you say we spend our lives believing in each other? Loving each other? Please say yes.”
“Yes.” She flung her arms around his neck and sniffed back the tears. “I love you so much. I’ve missed you so much.”
He lowered his mouth and kissed her, long and sweet and wonderful. When he pulled back, she felt dazed, even as a happiness bloomed in her chest unlike anything she’d experienced in her life. Then she frowned when his warm body moved away from hers and he went to his bedroom.
“Um, am I supposed to follow you in there?”
“Not quite yet. Soon.” He emerged again, smiling, his eyes dark and alive, looking at her with such clear, real love she felt weak all over again. “First, this. Will you marry me, Dr. Davenport? For real, and forever?”
She looked down at the beautiful blue stone winking at her, and held out her hand. “Yes, Mr. Mateo. For real and forever and as soon as possible.”
He laughed, sliding the ring on her finger before kissing her senseless.
“So,” he said as they came up for breath, “how do you feel about moving to Spain? You can become the region’s doctor. But only if you like the idea. We can stay here, and just go a few times a year if you prefer. I’ll be happy any place in the world, so long as you’re there with me.”
“I fell in love with your home almost as fast as I fell in love with you.” It was true, and the idea of living in that beautiful place made her chest nearly overflow with the joy of all he was offering her. “Miranda Alv
es, wife of the future Duke of Pinero, has a nice sound to it, don’t you think?”
“Yes.” He kissed her again before pressing his forehead to hers. “Almost as wonderful a sound as both of us saying ‘I do’.”
* * * * *
Welcome to the CHRISTMAS IN MANHATTAN six-book series
Available now:
SLEIGH RIDE WITH THE SINGLE DAD
by Alison Roberts
A FIREFIGHTER IN HER STOCKING
by Janice Lynn
THE SPANISH DUKE’S HOLIDAY PROPOSAL
by Robin Gianna
THE RESCUE DOC’S CHRISTMAS MIRACLE
by Amalie Berlin
Coming soon:
CHRISTMAS WITH THE BEST MAN
by Susan Carlisle
NAVY DOC ON HER CHRISTMAS LIST
by Amy Ruttan
Keep reading for an excerpt from THE RESCUE DOC’S CHRISTMAS MIRACLE by Amalie Berlin.
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