“There’s something else I have to tell you.” Robert cleared his throat again. “I’m retiring at the end of my term in November.”
Sawyer stumbled and nearly sank into the chair. The man couldn’t be serious. Robert may have a little more gray hair, a few more wrinkles across his forehead, and some extra belly, but no way was he old enough to retire. “You can’t… you’re retiring?”
“It’s time. I’ve been at this forever.”
True, thirty years was a lot for someone to do what Robert did. He’d taken Sawyer under his wing after Sawyer’s parents’ death. Shoot, Robert had even coached Sawyer’s Little League team. Robert stood by Sawyer’s side when he’d signed his enlistment papers and put him on the bus to boot camp. And because of Robert, Sawyer had returned to Oak Grove and joined the department.
But Robert couldn’t retire. Not yet. Sawyer wasn’t done with what he needed to learn. “You’re far too young to retire.”
“When you reach the age I do, you’ll laugh at that comment. It’s not the years, son, but the mileage. I’m tired. I want to enjoy life, go fishing, spend time with my grandkids.”
Sawyer had to begrudgingly admit that Robert was right. “I’d say you’ve earned that.”
Robert grinned and aimed his finger at Sawyer. “I want you to be the next Sheriff.”
Sawyer’s stomach dropped. “What?”
“Think about this for a minute. You’re perfect for the job. It’s what you’ve been working for since the day you stepped through those doors eighteen months ago. You grew up in Oak Grove, and you know the town and its residents. More importantly, you care about this town. You’ll be perfect.”
“I don’t know. I didn’t think I’d need to consider it for a long time.”
“Now you do.” Robert winked. “But think quickly. The filing deadline will be here before we know it. My name won’t be on the ballot this November, and I want yours to be.” He stood. “I haven’t announced my retirement yet. I wanted you to hear it first. Consider it, but not too long.”
Robert clapped Sawyer on the shoulder and left the room.
Now that no one was looking, he gave in to his weak knees and sank into the chair. Robert retiring? He was the department. Sawyer couldn’t handle another change. Between Mom and Dad dying, then Grandma, and now Rachel’s situation, this was enough to make a man’s head spin. The department wouldn’t be the same without Robert to guide them all, but he had earned his break. Sawyer had to be happy for the man he called mentor, even father.
But Sawyer… as Sheriff? Could he picture himself wearing that shiny badge? Yeah, he could, but this wasn’t the best time for him, since Rachel was his first priority. But sheriff had always been in the back of Sawyer’s mind. What he ultimately wanted. Could he handle a campaign and Rachel at the same time? He wasn’t sure. He just wasn’t sure.
He managed to sneak out of the station without further interruption and stepped onto the sidewalk. The bright sun smacked him in the face, and he scrambled to slide on his sunglasses. As he strode to the Mug ’n Muffin, Lucas and Joey came out of nowhere and sandwiched him. He almost laughed at the absurdity of the two brothers hounding him.
“Lucas, Joey,” he said stoically.
“How is she this morning?”
“See for yourself.” He gestured at the window of the coffee shop where Rachel sat with Brittany and Sarah at a table in the middle of the room. The girls smiled as they picked at a huge blueberry muffin. Rachel threw her head back and laughed at something Sarah said.
Warmth spread through Sawyer, settling deep in his gut. Finally, his wish had come true—Rachel happy. If it were the last thing he ever did, he’d keep that smile on her face every day.
“How did it go at the station?” Joey asked.
“Rough, but she made it through. Shane shouldn’t be getting out for a long time. If by some miracle he does, there’s a protection from abuse, a PFA, in place.”
“If he comes anywhere near her again, she won’t need a piece of paper. I’ll take care of him with my bare hands,” Joey growled under a breath.
“You just remember who’s older, little brother.” Lucas straightened to his six-foot three height. “I get first dibs at him.” He knitted his brows at Sawyer. “And how about you?”
“What? Me? I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“No reason.” Lucas’s words were calm, but his posture said otherwise.
Sawyer had kept his feelings for Rachel buried for a long time. Joey and Lucas couldn’t know, could they? Maybe Sawyer had overstepped his bounds by allowing her to stay at his place. But he’d seen the panic in her eyes at the thought of going home with Lucas or Joey. So they could just deal. He wouldn’t make Rachel leave before she was ready.
Chapter Seven
RACHEL PINCHED A bite of muffin off and popped it into her mouth. She tried to project an air of confidence that she didn’t quite feel. But knowing that she didn’t have to look over her shoulder for Shane was a welcome change. The two women opposite her smiled comfortably and talked together like they didn’t have a care in the world. But Rachel knew better.
Brittany had not only overcome childhood abuse, but she’d found happiness by making big changes in her life, leaving New York City and a six-figure job at a prestigious architectural firm. All for Joey. She’d started over again. Rachel could do that, too.
The same went for Sarah, who had moved to Oak Grove after losing her husband in a fire. One of the worst losses someone could face. She was not only engaged to Lucas but raising her daughter while running her own accounting business.
These two ladies, the women her brothers had chosen to have in their lives, hadn’t let life beat them down. They’d stood strong and fought back against the struggles and challenges in their own lives. If they could overcome their fears and reach for what they wanted, so could Rachel, couldn’t she?
“Are they still standing out there?” Brittany whispered.
Sarah’s eyes darted to the window. “Yep, all three. Arms crossed, staring into the window like they don’t know we can see them.”
Brittany leaned in closer. “Should we wave?”
“Absolutely.” Sarah popped another piece of muffin into her mouth.
Rachel joined them, turning to the window and waving at the guys. After Shane had isolated her for so long, it lightened her heart to be around these women, but the ache in her chest remained. She kept telling herself that it would just take time. These two women had struggled to reach their goals. Rachel probably would, too.
When Sawyer’s gaze landed on her, his stern expression softened.
Heat rose on her cheeks. She had no right to return his smile. She’d steamrolled into his life and into his house. He didn’t deserve her train wreck of a life taking over his.
She flipped the business card over in her pocket. As for seeing a shrink, she wasn’t one of those wilting lilies who let their men use and abuse them until they were finished, was she? She’d gotten out and was turning her life around. She didn’t need to talk to someone. Besides, why should she relive her embarrassment repeatedly in front of a stranger? Enough people knew already.
The corners of Sawyer’s smile flattened as he followed her brothers into the shop and to their table.
When Lucas’s big arms came around her, she stiffened before she sank into the warmth of his hug. She refused to feel that twinge of discomfort at a man’s touch. She was through blaming herself. She deserved to be touched and hugged.
Her brothers loved her in their own ways. But they didn’t have all the facts. She wasn’t one of them. Would they still love her when they found out the truth? What if they didn’t? She couldn’t risk losing them after shoving them out of her life for eighteen months. For now, her secrets would stay just that—until she was sure of her relationship with her brothers.
Lucas whispered in her ear, “We were so worried about you. Are you sure you’re okay?”
She nodded against his big chest that
carried his familiar scent of Old Spice. A smell that had always wrapped around her like a warm blanket, first from her father and then from Lucas.
“We’re all here for you. I want you to know that.” He kept speaking in his soft voice. “Whatever you need, just ask. Whenever you’re ready to leave Sawyer’s, call me. You can stay with any of us. It’s an open invitation.”
God, if he kept this up, he’d have her bawling right here in the Mug ’n Muffin. He was everything the oldest brother should be. She tilted her head up and put on her brave face. She had to find her strength. “I appreciate it. I’m fine for now.”
Lucas nodded and his big, safe arms pulled back from her shoulders. He leaned down and kissed Sarah. “Mind if we join you?”
“Sure.” The gentle smile between Sarah and Lucas melted Rachel’s heart. They shared a private conversation with just their eyes and the touch of Lucas’s hand on her arm.
Rachel sighed. Her relationship with Shane had never been like that.
Joey slid a chair beside Brittany and kissed her on the cheek before he nodded at Rachel. Their conversation would come later. She was sure of it. He’d told her to leave Shane. And she’d denied anything was wrong. He’d never say ‘I told you so’, but his disappointment devastated her more than the others. They’d played together the most growing up, whenever their older brothers ran off to do their own thing. And she’d let Joey down when he’d needed her at the bar. He’d handled the entire grand reopening without her. She wasn’t that person, the one who shirked responsibility and left her friends and family hanging. Of course she’d become that person, whether she wanted to or not, over time, with Shane. She’d just been too ashamed to admit anything was wrong. She’d chosen to hide out and avoid questions.
She owed Joey an apology.
She debated talking to Joey now when Sawyer flipped a chair around and straddled the seat, putting a physical barrier between her and him. Did he not want to sit beside her? Was he acting distant because Joey and Lucas were here? Everyone else at the table was coupled off. She and Sawyer weren’t a couple, just sharing a house while she recovered.
Emma hustled over, a teenager on her heels carrying a plate of muffins. “On the house, boys. For taking such good care of Rachel.” Emma began filling mugs.
Lucas and Joey grinned at Emma and extended their cups.
Rachel may have built walls between her and her brothers, but they were coming down. Lucas’s protective hug had warmed her insides. Maybe she should have stayed at his house last night. He would have taken care of her, made her feel safe, but he’d also have smothered her.
It was time for her to stand on her own. Nobody had babied Sarah or Brittany as they’d worked through their issues. And Rachel wouldn’t be coddled. She had to do this herself. Staying at Sawyer’s gave her more freedom from the pity-filled, prying eyes of her brothers.
Besides, if she’d stayed at Lucas’s, she would have missed the big breakfast Sawyer had made for her. Her heart fluttered and heat stung her cheeks. That was just one friend helping another. She was reading too much into a simple meal. Sawyer was Joey’s friend.
Sawyer stared blankly at his coffee. Rachel leaned in and whispered, “Is everything okay?”
He jumped. “What? Yeah, everything’s fine. Are you okay?”
His words lacked conviction and he had no doubt said what was expected of him. The strain of the past few days showed in the shadows beneath his eyes and his sagging brows. By forcing herself into his house, she’d put him smack in between her and her brothers. Protecting her, which she didn’t want.
She mentally shook her head. Sawyer wasn’t protecting her. He was just offering her a place to stay. Her brothers understood that, didn’t they? He’d put his life on hold for her. And for what? She was a mess and she had no definite plans for the future. “I’m good. I just want to get the trip to the trailer over and done with.”
“Whenever you’re ready.”
They chatted for a few more minutes. Rachel promised to call Sarah and Brittany so the three of them could get together for a “proper girls night.” Was she ready for that? It didn’t take long for the answer to bubble to the surface. Yes, she was. She had to keep inching toward a real life.
SAWYER’S CAR ATE up the miles between the bakery and trailer. The closer they got, the more her jitters had twisted into trembles. This place had been Rachel’s home for the past year. The rutted path tore up the underside of every car that braved it. The bushes on either side of the worn tire tracks were a mat of weeds now, often scratching against the side of the car. A complete opposite from the well-groomed lawn of the home where she’d grown up—the house of secrets… and lies.
Sawyer pulled into the clearing and parked in a worn spot under the evergreen tree. She climbed out of the car but immediately plastered herself against the door. Although Shane wasn’t here, her heart raced. By going inside, she’d be forced to confront the woman she’d let herself become over the past year. But if she didn’t do this, she couldn’t start over. Not until she’d closed the door on this chapter of her life.
Rachel swallowed. What did Sawyer think of the stained siding, rickety stairs, and overgrown lawn? This place was a metaphor of her life, out of control and in disarray, and it wasn’t how she wanted Sawyer to think of her. Not that she wanted him to think of the life she had before Shane. As the bratty little sister who wanted to play basketball and fish with the older boys. He didn’t seem to be thinking either of those things about her this morning. The looks they’d shared hadn’t reflected any of the pity she’d expected after what her life had become.
Sawyer’s hand brushed her arm. She jumped and he immediately backed away, his palms raised. God, she had to get a grip. He’d only extended his hand in friendship. He wouldn’t hurt her. Not every touch was like Shane’s horrendous fists.
He softened his voice. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”
She straightened her shoulders and marched toward the trailer. “Yeah, I am. Let’s get this finished and get out of here.”
As soon as she opened the door, the stench of stale beer slapped her face. She covered her nose and took a few deep breaths through her clenched teeth. How had she stood this disgusting smell for so long?
She ran her fingers along the stained counter where Shane had pinned her and shuddered.
“You weren’t ready.”
Rachel gulped. Was he right? She didn’t have the courage to leave until two nights ago. She’d had the insane idea that she could make her and Shane’s relationship work. That Shane was all she deserved.
She picked up her favorite photo of her and Shane during happier times—the two of them sharing an ice cream, their tongues licking at the vanilla flavor, both grinning and gazing at one another as two lovers should. Lies. It was all lies now. She’d tried to make this a good home for them, the same as her mother had, by adding personal touches like the photo. Shane hated pictures and the grimace on his face in another one showed exactly how much. He’d broken the frame of this one a number of times, but she’d always replaced it.
She scanned the rest of the filthy room she’d called home for so many months. The crocheted throw from Mom that was usually draped over the couch now lay balled up on the floor. Many a night Rachel had huddled under that blanket while Shane slept off a bender in the bedroom. She fingered the soft threads. The throw was going with her. Shane wasn’t getting anything of value to her. He could keep the crap he’d accumulated. No way would she bring any reminders of her life with him anyway. She was starting fresh with no traces of Shane in her life.
She was a fool to believe if she was a good enough cook, housekeeper… lover to Shane that he’d return her love. She’d grown up in a house full of affection… but the lies had shattered her illusions. Her parents may have said they loved her, but what did that word mean anyway? Bile rose in her throat and heat burned her gut. If they loved her, they wouldn’t have lied to her. And if Shane loved her, he wouldn’t have hur
t her. She may not have had the kind of love that Sarah and Brittany had found with her brothers, but she knew it existed. They were proof of it. What did she have to show for the last eighteen months? Bruises.
Heat built in her throat and she screamed.
She flung the picture at the wall and the glass shattered, shards flying through the air.
Her screams kept coming, her hands clenched in fists. Why? How had her life become this mess? She’d been on track, studying business in school, working for Joey. She’d had friends and traded a good life for a jerk. He’d squashed her hope under his big fist and chased away her friends and family. She’d quit school when he’d accused her of spending his money. What kind of idiot was she? Why had she let this happen to her?
Her legs turned to mush and she crumpled to the floor. “How could I have been so stupid? Why didn’t I listen to everyone? What’s happened to me?”
Sawyer’s arms came around her and she collapsed against him. In the safety of his embrace, she cried. Everything she thought she’d had was gone. Her hopes… her future... her dreams. All because of an abusive monster. Her parents had encouraged her to dream big and make those dreams come true. Dreams were merely hard work with an end date, they’d said.
Joey had done it, and now he owned the most popular restaurant and bar in town. And Brittany stood beside him. He didn’t shove her aside like Shane had Rachel. Lucas had played fireman as a kid and then he became one. Michael had gone to law school, although he’d found his calling a little later, but he’d done just the same and realized his dream.
What had Rachel done? Nothing. Her friends in high school didn’t have goals beyond moving to the big city and meeting the man of their dreams. Not her. Oak Grove was her home. She’d taken some business classes at the community college and had enjoyed them. She’d once thought she’d graduate and do something important with her life. But instead of pursuing her education, she’d bowed to Shane’s wishes to drop her classes. Why had she let him take control of her life?
One Last Chance Page 6