by Salome Wilde
It was like breaking a vacuum seal. Everything rushed in at once, a typhoon of ecstasy. I couldn’t form a coherent thought. I became nothing but a needy, greedy pussy wrapped around a magical hand. As the waves rolled over me I thought I could die like this.
“You’re so beautiful.”
I heard her through the haze, but I couldn’t reply. All I could do was smile up at her. We were connected, a living, breathing organism all our own. Dan leaned over me, captured my mouth with hers, and kissed me softly. She kept touching me, and I almost told her to stop. It was deliciously unbearable, an unexpected and glorious keening of my body holding the pain at bay. It went on and on and on, shocking undulations of white-hot pleasure. I chased every inch of desire until I was sweaty and panting
Was it possible to have one long, continuous orgasm? I’d never experienced anything like this. Shocks radiated from the pressure Dan put on my clit. She rubbed and pressed while she twisted her wrist inside me, and I whimpered incoherently and lost myself in sensation.
When I reached another peak, I feared I’d damage my spine because my back arched so violently. The second orgasm was bigger than the first, a spectacular, sweeping tsunami. I made sounds that weren’t even human. I begged Dan to stop but she shushed me and said, “One more.”
Again I was lost in that delicious pressure from within combined with Dan’s thumb moving deftly on my clit. I didn’t think my body could handle it, but unlike every other time I’d ever come the spasms got more, not less fulfilling. I groaned, panting and overwhelmed, as the third climax ripped through me. Tears sprang to my eyes and I didn’t know why, nor did I have any interest in wiping them away. I lay on my back staring at the ceiling, but not really seeing it. My pleasure had a color, and I was focusing on that, the hue of it tinting my vision. I couldn’t stop quaking.
“You okay, baby?” Dan whispered into the crook of my neck. I made some sort of head movement to show that I was, and she kissed the tears streaming down my cheek, her lips comforting and warm.
“I don’t think I can t-t-take any more.”
She chuckled. “Neither do I. I’m going to pull out now, very slowly. Just relax.”
I nodded.
Dan was gentle on the way out, taking great care with my sore flesh, but as soon as her hand was outside of me, I wanted it back. I craved the pressure, the fullness, even the pain and fear. I was adrift, and I didn’t want the ride to end. The tears wouldn’t stop leaking down my face and I couldn’t breathe properly.
Dan plopped into a swivel chair with a sigh, and hauled me onto her lap to cradle me in her arms. I was still naked from the waist down, my legs shaking, my pussy dribbling onto her pants. Sobbing openly as she kissed my hair and rocked me, I curled into her.
“What have you done to me?” I croaked.
“It only lasts for a little while,” she promised. “You’re experiencing something very normal.”
I didn’t want a rational explanation. I didn’t want her to go all clinical on me. I wanted what I’d just had five minutes ago. I wanted her to keep calling me “baby” and kissing my hair and treating me like a precious thing.
“I don’t want— I can’t—” I hiccupped.
“Shhh, beautiful girl, you’re okay. I have you. Don’t worry.” Dan wrapped my hand in hers and kissed my fingertips, one at a time.
“You gave me those gloves.”
“Yeah, babe?”
“The gloves.” Suddenly it was an important detail. “Why?”
“Your hands were cold,” she replied, as if it were an uncomplicated question. “And you kept on working, even with those red, sore hands. You needed them.”
“You got the guards to get them for me?”
“Something like that.” She rocked me and whispered, “We only have a couple minutes more, and this might be our last time for a while.”
I blinked at her, not understanding.
“Going home next week,” she reminded me.
“Right.” The walls started folding in. It was going to end. The moment I’d feared was coming. I thought of Kitt’s eyes on me in the courtroom, staring through me like I was a stranger, and my chest tightened.
I tried to pull away but Dan held me fast, her mouth at my ear. “I don’t want to say good bye to you,” she murmured.
I stilled at the hesitance in her voice, the fear I heard just behind the words. Was she as scared as I was?
As if in answer to my question, she went on. “I want you to come stay with me when you get out in March. Even if it’s just a week, or even a few days. Will you do that?”
I was speechless, elated and overwhelmed all at once.
“Please, baby,” she whispered against my neck. “I need you.”
She needed me? Dan needed me? The world tilted on its axis.
“Yes,” I promised.
She buried her face between my breasts and gave a deep, happy sigh.
“I don’t know how to do this, Dan,” I blurted. The words just came spilling out before I could stop them. “I’m fucked up when it comes to relationships. I’ve only ever been with one woman. My family thinks I’m straight.”
Dan chuckled softly. “We’ll figure it out.” Nuzzling my collarbone, she murmured, “Just promise you’ll come.”
“I’ll come,” I vowed. “I’ll come to you, Dan.”
* * *
Dan was early meeting my bus the morning I was released. Through the smudged Greyhound window I watched her pacing, eyes fixed on the passengers piling off the bus as though she doubted I’d be among them, even though we’d spoken that morning when I called her from the station. I rushed down the metal steps and flung myself into her arms, fingers twining in the short curls that she’d grown in the past five months.
“I can’t believe you’re really here,” she murmured against my cheek. “My brave girl.”
“I promised,” I whispered, gripping her fiercely.
Dan cupped my face with both hands, her gold-flecked gaze meeting mine. “Yes, you did.”
“I’m staying,” I declared boldly, less terrified since I’d been practicing those words for a while.
She kissed me through her wide grin and jingled her car keys. “Good.”
I slipped my hand into hers and let her lead the way home.
Wanting
by Annabeth Leong
When visiting hours started, Lila was the first into the room. Kam caught her in her arms. Lila trembled. Closing her eyes, Kam counted seconds. The guards had never bothered her about an embrace that stayed under fifteen.
Lila’s fluttering breath tickled Kam’s biceps through her thin prison uniform. Sixteen. The toe of Lila’s sneaker pressed against the inside of Kam’s shoe, and Kam was tempted to widen her stance, just an inch, just a couple of inches, so Lila’s thigh could slip between her own. Seventeen.
Kam was pushing it, but Lila’s hair smelled like lime shampoo, and Kam wanted to stroke the curve of her ear. Eighteen. Nineteen. Kam’s heart raced between each count. Twenty. This had to—had to—stop. Twenty-one. Twenty-two. Twenty-three.
Lila was warm the way only the sheets of Kam’s own bed at home could be. She was sweet like a cake Kam had baked in her own kitchen. A promise of freedom, her body presented possibilities. Kam knew what to do with those, if only she could get the chance. Twenty-four. Twenty-five. Twenty-six. Twenty-seven.
“Ladies, that’s enough!”
Kam stepped away from Lila, the disconnection sudden and total. The room tilted. She could never eat much on the mornings she knew Lila would come, and now she was dizzy with the hunger, the lost touch of her lover, and the knowledge that she had already taken more than she was allowed.
The uncomfortable metal folding chair scraped the gritty floor as Kam pulled it back from the table, sending a jarring buzz up her arm and into her elbow. Lila’s chair made the same ugly sound as she took her position across from Kam. She was blushing, but her guilty expression made her look even more innocent. Most people
couldn’t believe that Lila Yagi, with her fragile bones, straight black ponytail and cheap polo shirts, could even know a person like Kam, let alone love her. Most people were way too ready to judge a book by its cover.
“I’m sorry,” Lila whispered as they sat. “I just…I couldn’t stop touching you.”
Kam could have taken the blame. After all, she could have ended the embrace as easily as Lila. It was more fun not to. She raised an eyebrow and leaned a few inches forward. Short and stocky as she was, she knew how to loom. “Does that mean you haven’t been good this week?”
Lila squirmed, and Kam held her breath. “No, no, I’ve been good,” Lila said.
“You went to all your phlebotomy classes?” Kam deliberately asked the question Lila wasn’t expecting to draw out the interrogation. These were the only moments she felt powerful and important, and she wanted them to last as long as possible.
Nodding, Lila assured Kam, “I’m still getting good grades.”
“You staying clean?”
Kam weighed the emphatic nod. “Two years next week.”
“How’s Sam? You’ve been feeding him good food?”
Lila’s son would be nine in six weeks. “I made beef stir-fry last night. With extra snow peas. You know how much he loves them.”
“Been eating right yourself?”
“Mostly.”
Kam intensified her expression. “You skipping meals again?”
“Only breakfast.”
“You need to eat breakfast. It’s important.”
“I know.”
Kam could have come up with a few more questions, but she was getting impatient. “And what about the other thing? When you said you couldn’t stop touching me…that didn’t sound like a good sign.”
They tried to stay subtle when they talked about this particular facet of their relationship. Kam didn’t want the guards overhearing something this private. She certainly didn’t want them teasing Lila or seeing past her nice, innocent image.
For answer, Lila placed her hands carefully on the table between them. Kam held them, and dipped her nose quickly to sniff her lover’s fingers. If Lila had been touching her pussy, she knew to let the smell remain.
* * *
“It’s not like I brought the shit with me! Jesus, Kam!”
That was the first time Lila had come to visit, when she’d shown up high, her shirt stained, her hair an asymmetrical tangle. Her voice had been too loud, her gestures too big. She had dropped into the chair across from Kam and started describing in detail what she’d been doing to herself every time she missed Kam, which was all the time.
Half of that activity seemed to involve fucking herself with the largest dildos she could find—which was fine with Kam except that she didn’t want every inmate and guard at the facility to know about it—and the other half sticking dirty needles in her arms and selling her body whenever she ran out of drugs or money. Definitely not fine.
Kam hadn’t liked the sympathetic tingle she got in her veins from hearing that—though she was inside on felony drug possession charges, she’d been holding her cousin’s shit when she got arrested. She’d been clean five years and wanted to stay that way.
The thing she’d had going with Lila before her arrest had been hot, for sure, though it was too much of a mess for Kam to think of it as an actual relationship. Whenever she needed to get off behind bars, she lay still on her narrow cot and summoned the memory of the surprised expression on Lila’s face the first time Kam had gotten her fist all the way inside her.
“It’s too much! It’s too much!” Lila had screamed.
Kam had been concerned and apologetic. “Do you want me to take it out? Hold on, I have to do this slow.”
Gripping her by the hair, Lila had dragged Kam’s lips to her clit. “Don’t you fucking dare,” she’d growled. “Fuck me! Oh, fuck, I need…” Kam could never last long enough to remember what Lila had said she needed. All it took to get her off was the thought of Lila’s ragged voice, her surprisingly strong grip on the back of Kam’s head, and the impossible heat of contractions around Kam’s entire forearm.
Kam never wanted to be caught masturbating, but this wasn’t much of a risk because she could think about that night and squeeze her crotch through her pants, slowly, without even slipping her hand inside, and feel that excruciating but reassuring rippling she needed.
In other words, Kam missed Lila, but not so much that she wanted her to show up at federal prison visiting hours drugged out and triggering needs Kam struggled to put behind her. During that fateful meeting, she had folded her arms across her breasts as she eyed Lila in all her dissolute glory. The sight had almost made her glad she’d been locked up when she had. If she’d stayed with this mess of a woman, it would only have been a matter of time before one of Lila’s needles found its way into Kam’s veins.
“Stop,” Kam had commanded, her voice low and deadly.
“Huh?” Lila said.
“I said stop. I don’t want to see you back here unless you’ve stopped. All of it. Everything you were just talking about. No excuses.”
For just a moment, the spark of life had come into Lila’s eyes and she was truly there with Kam. Something about being inside made it hard to avoid getting spiritual, and Kam had felt she’d seen into Lila’s soul. Yet, she’d quickly tried to shake off that superstitious thought because she didn’t expect Lila would be back.
But it had haunted her, that experience, waking her up in the middle of the night, sometimes six or seven times. She had seen something naked and pure, something the drugs could never touch, something only she could reach. Kam never would have guessed what that would lead to.
* * *
Lila’s fingers were clean. They smelled of plain soap and nothing else. Kam met her eyes, not afraid to show her surprise. “You have been good,” she said.
“That’s why I’m shaking,” Lila answered. “That’s why I couldn’t stop touching you. It feels like if I even think about it too hard, I’ll…” She shivered visibly as she trailed off.
“It’s been a long time since you fucked up.”
Lila smiled shyly, sweetly. That expression used to be a sure sign of trouble when it came over Lila’s manipulative lips, but now it shone with the sincerity that had spent so long hidden within her. “I want to be your good girl,” Lila said.
That hit Kam where she lived. Inside her mind, she pressed the record button. She knew that the next time she touched herself she would replay that sentence over and over, imagining Lila in various states of surrender.
“You’re going to have a test this week,” Kam said. “That massager you own…I want you to use it.”
Lila’s eyes widened, and Kam chuckled.
“Oh, not like you’re thinking. Not until you’re all the way relaxed. Just use it until you feel it, then stop. I want you to stay warm for me.”
Just saying it was almost too much. Kam worried she’d soak through her underwear and leave a puddle of arousal on the uncomfortable chair. She rocked as she adjusted her position, her body screaming its wordless desires. Her cunt was ready a million times over for her to fuck Lila again, and no information her nerves could provide could explain to her animal brain why this wasn’t already happening.
Kam leaned back in her seat and forced her voice to stay even as she gave additional instructions. She told Lila what times to call during the week, what she wanted to know about her progress in class, and to be careful to eat at least a slice of toast each morning. She explained the preparations she wanted Lila to start making for Sam’s birthday.
None of that cooled her off. It was still control. It was still Lila, head slightly bowed, nodding studiously in response to each and every command, as willing to acquiesce to teasing herself mercilessly with her vibrator as she was to feeding herself more diligently. It was still Lila, transformed to a better self by the virtue of the raw desire between herself and Kam—and by the love that drove it.
Kam was dying
to show Lila how much their bond meant to her.
* * *
In Kam’s mind, her “thing” with Lila became a true relationship the first time Lila returned to her, unexpected and unexpectedly sober. Kam had been surprised to have a visitor at all, and more surprised by Lila’s transformation.
She had combed her hair and wore clean clothes, but what made her appearance striking wasn’t physical. Her eyes had a sharp, alert determination that Kam had never seen before, and when they fixed on Kam they softened and melted into something too intimate for words.
“I hope it’s okay for me to be here,” Lila said, as soon as they sat down. “I haven’t quite stopped everything. I know you, uh, said no excuses.”
Kam stared at her. “What are you talking about?”
“I stopped the drugs. Mostly.” Lila hung her head. “I fucked up three weeks ago. But I got a waitress job. I had to do…some other stuff…to pay the rent, but that was it. And I…” She gestured toward her clothes, her hair, looking lost and helpless.
Kam’s heart opened to her at the same time it hardened. Lila was trying, but Kam didn’t know if trying was enough. She struggled with herself. Part of her couldn’t bear to send Lila away, but part of her feared letting Lila’s wild ways into her life even the tiniest bit.
She crossed her arms over her chest.
“I don’t know how long I’d have to wait to visit you if I had to stop everything first,” Lila went on when Kam did not reply. “I thought…maybe you’d want to see me. And there’s one part I did stop. Totally.” Lila lowered her voice to a raw whisper. “I won’t come again until you make me.”
“I never asked you for that.”
“You said stop all of it. Everything I was talking about. I know I told you about…taking care of myself. I remember doing that a lot. Talking about it a lot.” Sober, Lila apparently felt more shame than she had when she was jacked up. Her pale gold cheeks darkened and reddened. “When I got home after last time and I went to…” She made a slight but significant gesture with her hand. “I heard you in my head saying stop. So I did. It made me want to do it more, but every time I got close, I heard you.”