“I’m going to take a shower.”
She allowed the hot water to run over her naked body. Hannah had always been thin, but as she washed her arms, she realized she had become too thin. Maybe her worrying about the move—or her mom’s promotion, or the new school—had likely taken its toll without her knowledge. Her arms looked too skinny, and she realized she probably should eat a little more than she had been lately.
“Skin and bones” popped into her head, a voice from the past that startled her.
Did I actually hear that, or was it just a memory in my head? I’m either hearing voices, or I’m exhausted, she thought. She went with the latter.
Slipping into an oversized shirt, shorts, and a pair of socks, Hannah got ready for bed. As she unpacked some of her boxes, she came across her prized personal box. Gloria waltzed by, stopped, and stuck her head in Hannah’s room to check on her.
“Everything okay?” she asked. “Unpacking coming along?”
“Yes, but I need some shelves.”
Gloria nodded. “I’ll add that to my list. We can hang them together; figure out where you want them, and we’ll mark the spot.”
“Fabric softener as well,” Hannah yelled as Gloria walked out of the room. “Those towels, no good, rough as can be!”
“Got it,” Gloria hollered back. “And remember when you check in at school tomorrow, remind the office that you’re a transfer student. They’re supposed to be expecting you, and your classes should already be assigned.”
If looks could kill, Gloria would be a goner. “Do I have to go tomorrow? Couldn’t you tell them we were delayed a day?”
Gloria shook her head. “I’ve got paperwork to fill out for my new job and you, my dear, well, you’ve got school.”
Turning around, Gloria walked back into Hannah’s room and sat down on the bed next to her. She was always uneasy when starting a new school. Hannah, although she’d learned to get on with it, still didn’t like it.
“You okay?” Gloria asked. “I mean, about going to another new school?”
“Yeah, I am. Just tired, I guess. One more day to myself to get organized and settled would have been nice, that’s all,” Hannah assured her. “It will be fine. Promise. And you do know I love you, right Mom?”
Gloria’s eyes filled with tears. Tired and overwhelmed herself, Hannah’s words and support were exactly what she needed.
“I love you too, girl! Come here!” Pulling her daughter into her arms, she hugged her as tightly as she could, and Hannah hugged her back. “It’s different this time, I promise. This really is the last time we’ll ever move. It’s our last new beginning!”
“That’s what you keep saying!” Hannah laughed. “But I’ll do the awkward first day of mandatory meet and greet the new people.” Groaning, Hannah flopped on her bed. “I do hate that part!”
“You want to know another great thing about this move and my new job?”
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“Aunt Kathy got us a deal with the apartment, and between that and my promotion, I only have to work one job.”
“You know I can always get a part-time job. I’m old enough now,” Hannah offered. “Besides, it might be good for me to earn some spending money.”
“Let me think about it, but it couldn’t affect your grades.” She winked at Hannah, pointed to the bed, and walked toward the door. “I don’t know where the time has gone. It seems like yesterday you were just a little girl, and now you’re talking about getting your first job.”
Hannah shrugged her shoulders. “I do love you, Mom.”
“And I love you too, Hannah. I don’t deserve a great kid like you, but I sure do love you!”
Exhausted, Hannah fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, without any dreams. Gloria kept tossing and turning. Being close to Hannah was the only thing that gave her comfort. Tiptoeing into Hannah’s room with a blanket and pillow in hand, she lay down on the floor next to Hannah’s bed. Hannah stirred but didn’t wake up, and Gloria knew she’d be up and out of there before Hannah woke up. It worked; within minutes Gloria drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 13
Welcome
Don’t be nervous
Just be you
You’ll blend right in
Write, draw, sing, and dance
Never leave life to chance
~ Hannah Gunner ~
A blue pair of ripped skinny jeans, converse, paired with an oversized grey sweatshirt, and light makeup completed Hannah’s look for her first day of school. Desperately wanting to blend in, she hadn’t realized focusing on such drab colors had the opposite effect. It had a way of making her natural features stand out. A beautiful little girl, Hannah had turned into a stunning young teen. Dull colors accentuated her striking features, and people couldn’t help but wonder why she’d chosen such drab colors in the first place. Her long wavy blond hair fell loosely around her shoulders, just as it did when she was a child. Filling her coffee cup, grabbing her backpack, and shoving a note from her mom into her pocket, she hesitantly walked out the door.
The high school, less than ten minutes away, was thankfully a straight shot. Take a right out of the complex; turn left on First, and you couldn’t miss it. Daniel Martin High School was the ugly grey building on the left. Hannah knew the drill. Go to the attendance office, introduce herself as the new transfer student, and wait until they had time to deal with her. Depending on the staff, she’d either receive a warm welcome or they’d make it clear to everyone standing in the office that she was a massive inconvenience that had to be dealt with anyway. Let the games begin, she thought, as she made her way down the sidewalk. Admittedly over the years, the warm and fuzzy vibe that she exuded toward others had worn off, which inadvertently caused any first impressions that she made to be questionable at best. She’d been called rude, distant, detached, and her favorite—a snob—over the years, none of which she felt described her at all. Tired of being prejudged, rejected, or disappointing the people she met, she’d learned to lay low, keep to herself, focus on what she did like about school, and remind herself they’d be moving again soon anyway… except for this time. Time would tell regarding that promise, she reminded herself. It dawned on her for the first time ever that it was possible she could be stuck with the same people until she graduated. If that were indeed the case, she promised herself to make an attempt to be friendly and at least try to socialize to the best of her ability. That was truly the best she could do.
Ear buds in, head down, Hannah walked down the corridor toward the admin office. It was often the same in most schools: find the main entrance, follow the glass trophy cases, and eventually you’d run into the administrative office. No need to ask for directions. And if she didn’t end up running into the office, she’d be the one kid walking the hallway after the bell rang, and inevitably spotted and asked, “Where are you supposed to be?”
Daniel Martin, fortunately, was laid out like the typical high school and she found the hallway leading to the office as soon as she walked in. A lovely middle-aged woman standing behind a counter was directing kids and answering the phone as she scribbled out hall passes. She smiled at Hannah and mouthed, “I’ll be right with you.” Patiently, Hannah waited her turn and decided it wasn’t going to be a bad day after all.
“Yes. What can I do for you?”
“Hi, I’m Hannah Gunner, a transfer student. I think you’re expecting me. I’m here to pick up my schedule.” She knew they were expecting her, but it didn’t hurt to act as if she was unsure and needed a little help. It worked. The lady’s eyes softened, and she smiled the sweetest, oh, hang on a second and I’ll help you smile.
“Welcome, and if you give me a moment to clear out these kids, I’ll be happy to pull that for you.”
Hannah nodded. “Thank you.”
Her schedule was going to be tough, but Hannah purposely took as many AP classes as they’d allow, helping to keep her busy. New town, she didn’t know anyone, and it was so
mething that assisted with her career plan and occupied her time. She was smart, but any distraction was vital, and studying helped do that. Hannah’s one indulgence was art; it was her favorite class. Losing herself in art and words had filled her empty evenings and weekends for years. Her love of drawing had developed after she received a gift of Derwent pencils and a sketchpad from her mom on her ninth birthday. She didn’t know what kind of pencils they were, but Gloria had told her that they were special tools that artists used, and they’d allow her to sketch out her feelings instead of talking about them, if she’d like to do that, and it might make her feel better. Hannah would learn later that a child therapist had given her mom the advice after all of the issues with Hank, the moves, dealing with loss, anger, frustration, and anything else kids couldn’t articulate. Admittedly, it had worked to some degree, and after that Hannah discovered her love of art and words. Journaling had also helped, and that’s when Hannah fell in love with words, especially poetry, and jotted down random poems and short stories on a daily basis.
Physics, her first class, wasn’t something Hannah particularly minded. She was pretty good at math and science and often finished her work in class. The room was loud, and no one seemed to care that a new girl had slinked into the back. Nothing stood out as alarming or concerning to Hannah. It was another day, in a new school, supposedly in a town that she’d already been a part of but couldn’t seem to remember. She found an empty seat at the back of the room and sat down. Earphones in, music off, she listened to as many conversations around her as she could. A few comments were made about the new girl who was sitting in the back of the room, but nothing rude or out of the ordinary. A group of boys that had gathered around a nearby table was instructed to take their seats. The teacher finally spotted her and introduced himself, and then brief introductions to the class were made. Hannah’s cheeks flushed, but she managed a slight smile and glanced around the room before lowering her eyes toward her desktop.
“Headphones off and phones put away, or they become mine until the end of the school year. Oh, and I don’t care if your parents call me. School rules. Not mine!”
Mr. Lambert dove right into his lesson. He didn’t bother checking to see if Hannah understood what they were working on or if she could keep up. Fortunately, she could. She’d been studying a chapter on kinetic physics at her last school. It was shocking she could keep up at all with as many moves as they’d made, but somehow she’d managed. As soon as the bell rang, everyone poured out of the room. Hannah checked her schedule, gathered her things, and made her way to her next class. The usual classroom introductions were made and pairings for a group project begun. Hannah didn’t have a partner, but neither did a tall, slender girl sitting on the opposite side of the room.
“Lindsey, partner with the new girl, Hannah.”
The tall kid didn’t object, but stood up and made her way toward Hannah. Plain but pretty is the best way to describe her, thought Hannah, as she waited to introduce herself, but the tall girl beat her to it.
“Hey, Lindsey Rawling.” She stuck out her hand and waited for Hannah to reciprocate.
Who shakes hands in high school? Hannah wondered as she awkwardly extended hers. That’s not embarrassing at all!
“Hannah.” She hesitated. “Hannah Gunner.”
“Cool name. Where ya from?”
And that was that. Their friendship started right then and there with an awkward handshake and Lindsey making small talk and offering to show Hannah around. Hannah agreed, though it was too early to tell if Lindsey would get on her nerves. She did have a habit of flipping her auburn hair—a lot—but Hannah didn’t care and couldn’t help but notice that when Lindsey’s hair was out of her face, her green eyes jumped out against her pale skin and reddish-brown hair. Cool feature! Her personality was kinda quirky, and she made Hannah laugh without realizing it. It seemed as if Hannah hadn’t really had a good laugh in quite some time. Refreshing. Lindsey was liked by the other students, and she took the time to introduce Hannah to someone new every chance she got. Hannah—an observer and a quiet teen by nature—took everything in and appreciated the time that Lindsey spent with her. Hannah found it amusing to listen to someone talk about her, in front of her. Funny!
“She’s super sweet, a tad shy until you get to know her, but you’ll like her!” That was how Lindsey described Hannah to her friends.
Hannah had never thought of herself as shy before; detached, maybe, but she guessed that could be perceived by others as shy. It was more of a self-preservation thing for her, a necessary action to protect her feelings. If she didn’t make friends, she didn’t have to lose them every time they uprooted and moved.
But moving wasn’t going to be an issue anymore, Gloria kept reminding her, because this was their last move. Hannah wasn’t getting her hopes up; she’d believe it when it actually happened and her mom threw away all of their packing materials.
Hannah couldn’t remember the names of all of the people Lindsey introduced her to, but one guy she’d crossed paths with stood out. Sandy brown hair, dark brown eyes, medium build, taller than her, hot, but he had the weirdest name. As soon as Lindsey introduced them to each other, Hannah insulted him, wishing as soon as the words tumbled out of her mouth she’d kept her trap shut!
“That’s a weird name.” Hannah grasped for words. “I meant strange name; no, I didn’t mean that either. Unusual. That’s an unusual name!”
Lindsey started giggling, grabbed Hannah’s arm, and pulled her toward a group of girls filing into the art room.
“Damn, brutal!”
“Stupid, you mean,” Hannah laughed. “What possessed me to be so freaking rude?!”
“His hotness!” Planting herself down on a bench seat that stretched down the center of the room, Lindsey patted a spot next to her for Hannah. “Sit here; no assigned seating.”
The room filled up quickly as students piled in and found spots on the bench seats around the two tables that were centered in the middle of the art room. To Hannah’s horror, the hot kid walked in and nodded his head and smiled at Lindsey. She grinned, poked Hannah, and whispered. “Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention he’s in our art class.”
Hannah noticed that as soon as he walked up, people made room for him around the table. He chose a spot two seats down from where they were sitting. Leaning forward in front of the other students, Cash waved his hand to get Hannah’s attention. He didn’t need to do that; he already had it.
“Grayson. Grayson Parks.”
“What?” Hannah asked nervously.
“My name, it’s Grayson Parks, but my friends call me Cash. I’ll tell you all about it sometime if we’re ever friends, or Lindsey can fill you in.” He grinned. “We’re friends.”
Cheeks flushed, Hannah shook her head and raised her hands. “That was rude. It’s not weird. It’s different, and being a nickname, it makes perfect sense. Sorry about that.” Flipping her hair out of her face, struggling for anything else she could possibly say in such an awkward moment, Hannah fidgeted in her seat. “Again, no harm meant, and I’m betting Lindsey will fill me in.”
Cash smirked. “Just giving you a hard time.”
Moving seats with his friends, he sat next to Lindsey. “So, new girl, what’s your name?”
“Hannah. Hannah Gunner.”
“Cool name. The Gunner part; Hannah’s not bad either.” Glancing at the front of the room, making eye contact with the art teacher, he smiled and dipped his eyes as if he were making adjustments to a sketch he’d been working on already.
The art teacher spotted Hannah and darted toward her to introduce herself. Making an announcement from where she stood, she also introduced Hannah to the class. Hannah couldn’t wait for her day and all of the official introductions of the day to be over. The class assignment was given, and the class was told to work in silence. Grayson’s explanation was going to have to wait. As soon as the bell rang, everyone, including Grayson, flocked out of the room.
Lindse
y waited for Hannah to gather her things. Her first day was over, and it hadn’t been that bad. Lindsey had made it easy. Lindsey pulled out her phone and took a picture of them both. “Smile!” She added it to her story. The caption read My New Best Friend!
“How did he get that name?” Hannah asked. “Go ahead and tell me or it will drive me crazy.”
“Something about if his friends needed money because their lunch accounts were low or if they wanted something they weren’t supposed to have, you know, like ice cream, he always gave them the extra cash. He was the kid who always had money on him. It became a thing, as in, ‘ask Grayson, he’s always got cash.’” She took another pic. “That turned into just ‘ask Cash.’”
“Did he ever say no or did he always just lend it to them?”
Lindsey looked puzzled for a second. “I’ve never been asked that question before, but I guess he always did. I can’t remember anyone ever saying that he didn’t.”
“Um,” Hannah responded. “Generous kid.”
Lindsey’s fingers tapped away furiously on her phone as she added Hannah to all of her social media accounts and Hannah did the same.
“So where do you live?” Lindsey asked.
“About ten minutes from here.”
“You want a ride home?”
“Sure. If you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind at all. I’m glad you moved here, Hannah!” Lindsey hesitated. “How do you feel about people who smoke?”
Hannah burst out laughing. “Seriously! It doesn’t bother me a bit, although I did switch from cigs to vapes.”
Lindsey nodded. “Same. Vape mostly, every now and then will go back to old habits and buy a pack. But my parents, for obvious reasons, hate both. Or I should say my mom hates both. My parents are divorced, and I quit doing the every-other-weekend thing with my dad years ago. I really only see him on holidays and special occasions. What about you?”
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