All We Knew

by Jamie Beck

  He’d bowled her over with his enthusiasm and drive—his commitment and their immediate connection. She’d never met a guy like him before, or since. Hunter Cabot was a force of nature, and she’d been more than content to be swept along for the ride, until it felt like she was grasping at loose ends, just trying to hang on.

  Now what?

  She swung her legs over the side of the bed and dug out her old robe from the tiny closet. By the time she reached the kitchen, her mother had already fixed her a plate and poured some coffee.

  “Any other day I would’ve called in sick, but the kids have been working on this history project for weeks, and today is the big presentation. They’re so excited. I can’t let them down.” Her mom snapped a slice of bacon in two and chomped on one half.

  “It’s okay. I know you and Dad have to work.” Her mother still taught fourth grade, but her dad had moved into administration over the years and was now a high school principal a few districts south of town.

  “He’s sorry he had to leave before you woke, but his commute is longer than mine. As it is, I need to leave within ten minutes.” She sipped her coffee. “I hate leaving you alone today. What will you do?”

  “Go see Mimi and the kids. We’ve traded messages but haven’t had a real conversation in weeks. Is Lisa around, too?”

  Her mom rolled her eyes. “Lisa is definitely around, still parked at the rear of Mimi’s property. Maybe you can encourage her to supplement her massage therapy income with another job. Lord knows anytime I try to talk some sense to her, she treats me like the enemy.”

  Lisa had never liked advice. In fact, suggesting something was the surefire way to make certain she absolutely never did it. She was a free-spirited girl with a tendency toward moodiness, similar to Gentry. That thought made Sara frown.

  Her mother must’ve read her thoughts. “When I get home today, we’ll talk about what’s happened and how you’re going to move forward and fix your marriage.”

  “You think I haven’t tried fixing it? I think it’s beyond saving.” She poured extra sugar in her coffee.

  “Did he lie? Cheat? Hit you?”

  “Of course not.” Hunter was honest, loyal, and had never really raised his voice to her, let alone his hand.

  “Do you still love him?” Her mother’s tone held no judgment but reminded Sara of the anguish in Hunter’s face when he’d asked her that same thing not long ago.

  Layers of anger and disappointment sat on her heart, but beneath all that beat the frustrating truth. He’d been her one and only for nearly fourteen years, and that wouldn’t fade easily, even if she wished it would. “Yes.”

  “Then it can be saved.” Her mom stood and set her cup in the sink. “You take a few days here to hit ‘Pause,’ but you can’t just walk out on your life because you don’t like the way it’s going. That won’t solve anything.”

  Sara realized her mom would be one of many people who might think her crazy or ungrateful to have left Hunter. Who didn’t understand that sometimes love and good intentions weren’t enough. Who couldn’t see how his ambition and need for control had taken over their lives. How he’d grown more invested in things outside their marriage than within.

  She admired him but deep down wished it could be like the beginning, when he couldn’t wait to leave the office so he could spend time with her, whether reading by a fire or cooking on the grill or simply sharing jokes while walking around the lake. When he never forgot to show up for dinner. When the idea of skipping doctors’ appointments for business meetings would’ve appalled him. When volunteering with her would have been something he’d have asked to do rather than refused.

  If other couples were happy making it work Hunter’s way, hooray for them. It didn’t work for her, and she wouldn’t feel guilty about it . . . or at least she hoped she wouldn’t for long. He’d taken for granted that she’d be there for him and his family despite how little time he spent talking to her, exploring the world with her.

  Sara buried her head in her hands. “No lectures, Mom. I already have a headache.”

  Her mom came over to hug her from behind and kissed her head. “I’ll see you later. Tell your sisters hi from me. Let’s plan a family dinner for tomorrow since you’re home. I don’t see them enough these days.”

  “Okay.” That surprised Sara, who’d always been a little bit homesick. If she’d lived within a thirty-minute drive of her parents or siblings, she’d visit all the time. As it stood, she’d seen them all only once or, if she was lucky, twice each year, mostly at holidays or other milestone celebrations.

  She missed the day-to-day kind of relationship with her own family that she’d somewhat re-created with Hunter’s.

  Colby already knew about her leaving from Hunter. She couldn’t return that call yet because she had no idea what she’d say. Poor Colby would be smack in the middle of Hunter and Gentry’s fight, too. And when Jed and Gentry got word of what she’d done, they might feel responsible.

  Hunter would blame them, but Gentry’s reversal was the tipping point, not the root cause. Unless he grasped that, she didn’t see any hope for them, no matter what her mother thought.

  Chapter Twenty

  Haru stared wide-eyed at Hunter. He looked like hell, and he knew it. That’s what three minutes of sleep all night did to a guy. He’d tried to quiet his dark thoughts about Gentry, his dad, Sara, and Pure Foods, but they’d slid through his brain, burning like hot oil, until his head was so messed up he couldn’t do anything but stare at the ceiling and pray for relief.

  By morning, he’d decided he’d be better off taking control of CTC than trashing his house or telling off his family.

  “Do it,” he instructed Haru, whose shell-shocked expression didn’t stop him from forcing her to hit “Send” on a company-wide memo invoking his power as interim CEO. Jenna would come screeching into his office sooner than later, so he strolled on in and shut the door, welcoming the showdown.

  Sunlight poured through the massive window behind his credenza, flooding the office—or command central, as he’d jokingly referred to it from time to time—with light. He scowled. Nothing about this day matched that kind of brightness, nor did command central inspire the confidence it typically instilled. Even the bubbling of his massive fish tank didn’t soothe him today.

  He sat in his chair and turned on his computer, his gaze falling on the wedding photo on the corner of his desk. The loving image mocked him. Nearly a decade old—that time made obvious by the fact that their faces were no longer so young and innocent. Sara had been a breathtaking bride in her lacy gown and organza veil.

  People had told him twenty-five was too young to marry, but he’d known at twenty that he wanted her for his wife. Waiting five years had shown remarkable restraint as far as he’d been concerned.

  In the photo, her adoration shone in her eyes. Admittedly, he hadn’t seen that look for months, maybe longer. She’d become disenchanted, nitpicking the minutiae of their lives instead of looking at the bigger picture.

  Her note had been a sharp, unexpected slap to the face. Last night, he’d planned to jump in his car this morning and drive down to Sacramento. But by dawn his heartache had hardened to anger.

  She’d betrayed him and their love. Sneaked away and refused his calls. A bit hypocritical, too, after the way she’d complained that he’d left her when she needed him most. Not that she’d agree.

  His office door slammed open, bringing an abrupt end to his musing. He didn’t need to look up to know Jenna now stood in the middle of his office, fuming. Ignoring her would be a fun but unrealistic option.

  He flicked a bored gaze her way. “Can I help you?”

  She held a printout of the one-paragraph memo with two fingers, the same way she used to handle Gentry’s dirty diapers. “What’s this?”

  With almost nothing but misery in his life, he couldn’t pass up the pleasure of making her squirm. Wednesday night he’d held back for Sara’s sake, but he would make Jenna pa
y for her role in Gentry’s change of heart and its ramifications. As CEO, he could fire her now, and he might if she pushed too hard. “Sorry. I presumed you could read.”

  “Don’t be a wiseass, Hunter.” She strode forward and slammed the page on his desk. “You can’t do this, you know.”

  “I can, actually. And I did. Haru can send you a copy of the bylaws if you don’t have your own. Since you’ve never bothered to pay attention to the details, let me summarize. Given my father’s memory issues and the fact that he’s been advised not to work for at least another month, I, as CFO, am entitled—most might argue I’m required—to act as interim CEO until it is determined whether he can and will return. If, after one hundred eighty days, he cannot return to his role, then the board must appoint a permanent CEO. So, now that I’ve cleared that up for you, please leave. I have work to do.” He returned his gaze to his screen, wearing a bit of a shit-eating grin. In the midst of a hellish week, this little win was long overdue.

  “Are you trying to break your father’s heart?” She crossed her arms. The desolate tone of her voice almost made him feel guilty, until she added, “Is this your way of punishing us because Gentry decided not to hand you her baby?”

  Gentry decided, as if Jenna hadn’t persuaded her to reconsider. Did she think he’d forgotten her initial, strong objections? He’d bet his 401(k) that Jenna had been planting doubts in Gentry’s mind every day since she’d moved back home.

  “No, Jenna. I’d never toy with CTC just to punish you, no matter how much fun that would be. I want CTC to survive and flourish. It needs leadership to do so, and without my dad here, I have to step up. I’m merely following the rules in place for the smooth transition of power when the CEO is incapacitated or otherwise unable to uphold his obligations.”

  Seeing her squirm might make others uncomfortable. Not him. He relished exerting this power over her, finally. His dad had always given her more say than her position should warrant. Now she’d be restricted to weighing in solely on marketing matters. Nothing more.

  “Let me know when the doctors think he can come back to work. Until then, if there isn’t anything else you need from me, please see yourself out.”

  Jenna opened her mouth, but his mother’s surprise appearance stunned them both. “You two might want to lower your voices. I could hear you from Haru’s desk.”

  “Leslie, perhaps you could wait with her until your son and I are finished.” Jenna gestured dismissively.

  His mom held her ground. “I need to speak to Hunter about something important, so perhaps you could step out until I’m finished.”

  “Something important?” Jenna mocked. “I didn’t realize you did anything important.”

  Hunter shot from his chair, but his mother held up her hand. She approached Jenna, head shaking, eyes sober. “You never did. You’ve always thought that the only things that matter are careers and power and money and possessions. No one denies you’ve succeeded on those fronts. But while you were investing all your energy here with my former husband, I was investing mine in my children.

  “You know my kids, right—the accomplished CFO and the former lawyer turned restaurateur? The ones who love each other and me? The ones who’ve proven they know how to love and commit to another? So let’s compare my ‘unimportant’ work with yours. How’s Gentry these days? Oh, wait, I know. Undereducated, pregnant by a man she doesn’t even know, still living at home, and breaking her brother’s and sister-in-law’s hearts.” She playfully punched Jenna’s shoulder. “Nice job.”

  His mother lifted her chin just a touch when she finished her put-down—her beautiful put-down. Normally, he wouldn’t want her to insult Gentry, but he was out of charity for that sister at the moment. He couldn’t tame his smile, which only made Jenna’s red cheeks more flushed.

  With no ready comeback, Jenna turned on him, grabbed the memo, and crushed it in her hands. “I know Sara and you are disappointed right now, but you’ll recover and find other options. Your father is sick, Hunter. Instead of supporting him, you refuse to make peace with Gentry, and now you’re stealing his job. It’s cold and heartless. If this stunt causes any setbacks in his recovery, you’ll answer to me.”

  “If I’m cold and heartless, it’s a side effect of being forced to work with you all these years. As for betrayals, he and Gentry cornered the market on those before I got in the game.”

  “You can’t unilaterally stop the sale. Even with Colby in your corner, you don’t have a majority of the shareholders,” Jenna spat.

  “I can’t stop it, but I can slow it down. Don’t count me out so fast, Jenna. You have no idea what might be up my sleeve.”

  He savored the moment of doubt in her eyes right before she grunted and stormed out of his office. He beamed at his mom, but her face didn’t reflect the victory she should’ve felt after their go-round with the enemy.

  She closed the door and then sat across from him. Such a diminutive little thing yet surprisingly tough at times. “What are you doing?”

  “Working,” he teased, folding his hands on his desk, temporarily buoyed by his fight with Jenna. “What are you doing?”

  She shook her head. Instead of pride, her eyes filled with pity and disappointment. “Colby called me. Why aren’t you on your way to Sacramento, Hunter? Do you want to lose your wife?”

  He sat back. Of course Colby had told her. Openness was her “new thing” these days. His muscles twitched. “Sara left me, not the other way around.”

  “Does that matter? Is your pride so valuable?” Her cobalt-blue gaze lit with challenge.

  The temporary high of his spar with Jenna ebbed. “Thanks for the concern, Mom, but I don’t want to discuss my marriage.”

  “Look at me.” An authoritarian tone she rarely used lent steel to her words as she tapped her index finger on his desk. “Do not let this pile of bricks and those spreadsheets become more important than your family or the future you were planning. Be a better man than your father. Go be a husband to your wife.”

  “I’ve been a good husband. I’ve loved Sara since the day we met and have done everything I know how to do to prove it. I’ve helped her family when they needed it. I didn’t complain when she quit working. I’ve agreed to be a foster parent, given housing to strangers, and gone against my instincts when it came to Gentry’s baby, and look where it all got me. Nowhere. I can’t make Sara happy. If she doesn’t love me for who I am, maybe I should let her go.”

  Those last words emerged as a raw rasp, as if they’d scraped his throat on their way out of his mouth.

  “Honey, I know you don’t mean that.”

  He didn’t like being as transparent as the window at his back. Maybe he didn’t mean it yet, but he knew, on some level, it was the truth. “Mom, seriously, I don’t want to discuss this. And please don’t interfere. Leave Sara alone, and let me deal with my own relationship.”

  She heaved a sigh and gripped her purse, which had been resting on her lap. “I could strangle your sister.”

  “Get in line.”

  His mom stared at him, waiting for him to engage. When he didn’t, she stood. “If you need anything, you call. I can bring you dinner—and don’t even start making fun of my cooking like Colby does—or I’ll help with laundry, or whatever, until you get your head on straight and bring Sara home.”

  He walked around his desk and hugged her. “I’m a big boy, thanks. Besides, a little alone time might be exactly what I need.”

  Time to reflect.

  She didn’t look convinced. “You’re going to learn the hard way that being alone is just plain lonely. Don’t be like me, Hunter. Don’t give up on the person you love too soon or you’ll live to regret it.”

  “What are you talking about? You didn’t give up on the marriage—Dad left.”

  “I did give up. Instead of swallowing my pride and trying to work through things, I let him go. I believed he was wrong and I was right. I thought he’d miss you kids and me so much that he’d come
running back once he realized his mistake.” She shrugged while wearing a wry grin. “You see how well that worked out for us all.”

  “Mom,” he said, a little shaken.

  “I love you. And you know I’ve always preached that real love means being honest. You’re a good man. You’re reliable, you have integrity, and you get things done. But you aren’t the most considerate son on the planet, and I suspect I’m not the only woman you take for granted. You might want to rethink your priorities.” She patted his cheek and then left him standing there as she waltzed out of his office.

  For a second, he considered snatching his keys and jumping in his car. Then Haru buzzed his office. “Richard Cortland is on hold.”

  Sara pushed her niece Daisy on the swing in Mimi’s backyard. Daisy’s giggle rang out like jingle bells. It was almost as adorable as the polka-dot ribbons tying her ponytail and her sunflower sweatshirt.

  Her sister’s yard—actually, more of a tiny farm—would be any kid’s idea of paradise. A grassy area within the four-acre parcel contained a built-in sandbox and swing set. The other three acres consisted of gardens: multiple berry bushes, an orchard, rows of vegetables and herbs, and a chicken coop to boot.

  Their California ranch–style house was small and a bit rundown, but Mimi and her husband Tom didn’t care about picture windows and quartz countertops. Their loud, gas-guzzling, rusty pickup truck had miles of love on it.

  Her sister Katy, who lived in Reno with her husband and her daughter, Caroline, also led a relatively simple life like Mimi. Their baby sister, Kelly, was working at a public school an hour south of Sacramento, in Stockton, and dating a gym teacher—broke, but happy.

  Everyone in her family defined success differently from Hunter. He needed to prove something to himself, his dad, and maybe even the world. And, apparently, he didn’t need Sara to do it.