by Liv Rider
“So, what did you think of Isaac’s latest budget?” Olivia leaned against a wall casually and didn’t look at Cameron at all.
“Really interesting.” Glen also studiously ignored Cameron as he walked by.
Cameron tried not to burst out laughing. Those two had probably overheard their entire argument, and he couldn’t even feel embarrassed about it. Let Parker deal with that.
14
Parker
He stared in mortified silence at the door for some time. Cameron was upset, and angry, and Parker wanted to tear the person apart who’d made Cameron feel that way.
Except he had made Cameron feel that way.
He’d ruined everything. Worst of all, deep down he’d known all along, but he’d pushed down his doubts and misgivings in favor of focusing on his duties as Keeper of the Peace. Cameron was right. Parker couldn’t be both Keeper of the Peace and Cameron’s mate. Not the kind of mate Cameron deserved.
What was he supposed to do now? Mates mattered more than anything. Should he quit his job?
And abandon the shifters who need us? His dragon’s reluctance shone through.
We can’t abandon our mate either. Not again.
He leaned back against his desk, his mind replaying everything he’d said to Cameron over the past twenty-four hours. Every order. He really had treated Cameron like another council member or shifter. He’d been so caught up in the plan and taking care of everything that he’d never stopped to think.
He’d been a complete idiot.
If there was one thing Parker hated, it was being wrong. But that was nothing compared to how much he hated himself for hurting Cameron.
We need to go to our mate. We need to talk to him! his dragon insisted.
We can’t. Not yet. Not until he knew how to fix things, but he didn’t want to give up being Keeper of the Peace and he didn’t want to give up Cameron.
He didn’t want to give up someone who told him when he was wrong. Someone with so much infectious enthusiasm. Someone who’d shown him there was more than just his job. Someone who’d introduced him to a whole world outside of shifters. Someone who was as passionate as he was, even if it was about entirely different things. He wanted a future with Cameron. One where they’d cuddle up on the couch to watch movies, wake up together, and Parker could finally return the favor of making Cameron breakfast.
A future without Cameron in it would just be empty. The thought made him sick.
He realized what he’d have to do to make things right. We’ll need to ask for help.
His dragon recoiled at that. They didn’t need help. They were too powerful to need help. There wasn’t a problem they couldn’t deal with by themselves.
Parker grimaced as he grabbed his phone. He really didn’t want to do this either. He should be able to solve this by himself.
But that had only led to Cameron being tired, angry, and disappointed. To Cameron basically saying he didn’t want to see Parker again any time soon.
He called Thomas, resisting the urge to hang up immediately.
We need his help. He has experience with this. If anyone knows about balancing being Keeper of the Peace and being a mate, it’s Thomas.
“If you’re calling about my council’s decision about that farm, you’re too early. They want a couple of days to think about it and check out the location for themselves. The ones who won’t stand out will do it in shifted form,” Thomas told him. “The others’ll go by car. I figured since Cameron and his crew are cleaning up, some more people driving around in the area won’t really be noticed.”
“That’s great, but not what I was calling about.” He drummed his fingers on his desk. “I need to talk to you. Now. It’s about Cameron.”
Thomas was silent for a moment. “Did something bad happen?”
He should’ve known Thomas would hear it in his voice. He took a deep breath and gathered his courage. “I think he broke up with me.”
Thomas offered to have lunch with him immediately, sounding worried over the phone, and they agreed on a place down the street from Parker’s office. The restaurant was human-owned and not a lot of shifters went there. Still, they settled for a quiet corner. Parker knew how quickly news traveled, and he didn’t want to risk any shifter getting wind of this.
Well, except for his council members, who had all overheard Cameron talking to Parker. Fortunately, they’d all been pretending not to notice him leaving the office. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle trying to talk to one of them about it.
Thomas listened, frowning and nodding along as Parker tried to explain what had happened since they’d last talked. When he got to the part where he’d shifted in front of Cameron and then brought him along to the meeting, Thomas sat back with a sigh.
“You didn’t.”
“I had to.”
“No, you didn’t!”
Parker glared at Thomas while a waiter brought them their food. “Of course I did,” he insisted, once the waiter was gone. “He knew more about Everett and the farm, and he has to know about our plan to buy the place.”
“Sure, but not five minutes after finding out you’re, well, you.”
That was almost exactly what Cameron had said. “I made sure to leave him alone so he’d have time to process it.”
“Did you tell him that that was why you were leaving him alone?”
“No.” Why would he do that?
Thomas sighed again, and gestured for Parker to continue catching him up. Thomas didn’t ask any further questions, but he did at one point snort with amusement, only to bury his head in his hands a few seconds later.
“And so I decided to call you,” Parker said, still reluctant to admit he needed help. “You have experience, after all.”
“Not with what you did.”
“I did what I thought was best!”
“You ignored his phone call, and the next time you called him was to tell him to come over for a meeting.”
Put like that, it didn’t sound very good at all. He’d just wanted to see Cameron again, and was excited to share the plan with him. “I wanted to keep him updated. I didn’t want to do anything behind his back.”
“There you go, tell him that as part of your apology. Honesty’s good.”
“I was honest to him yesterday.” And look where that had gotten him.
“Yes, but you also overwhelmed him. C’mon, we went over this. He doesn’t know anything about people like us. You were supposed to take it slow when revealing the truth to him.”
“I had to move fast because of the deal between Everett and the Wilsons.”
“Sure, but did you really need to ignore him afterwards? You couldn’t have taken fifteen minutes?”
Parker glanced down at his food. “I spent so much time with Cameron that I let things pile up during the weekend, and I had to deal with those problems.” The words sounded hollow and unconvincing now.
Thomas sucked in a breath. “Please tell me you didn’t tell him that.”
Parker tried to remember what he’d said. “No, I don’t think so, but the council members did. They mentioned that since I’d been so busy, I hadn’t gotten back to them on some matters. There was no hiding that from Cameron, so I told him I had important things to do.”
Thomas buried his head in his hands again. “Parker….”
“What?”
Thomas looked up at him. “You dragged him to a meeting where he didn’t know anyone. Your council then basically tells him he’s taking up too much of your time, and then you take their side.”
“That’s not what happened! My council has a right to complain when I—”
“They have a right to complain to you, yes,” Thomas told him. “But they leave your mate out of it. Sure, you having found your fated mate is new for them and they’re going to have to adjust too. You didn’t exactly give your council much warning, did you?”
“I wanted to tell Cameron the truth about myself first, and then tell my council.”
He fell quiet for a moment. “I should’ve paid more attention to Cameron in the forest. He was so quiet on the way back. I should’ve realized. I just thought—I thought that since we were fated mates, it would be fine. We’re destined to be together.”
“That doesn’t mean you don’t still need to put the work in. Take it from me. Relationships are hard work, even if you’re fated mates.”
He’d never really asked Thomas how things were going now between him and Joel. He’d assumed that they’d live their happily ever after, but going by Thomas’ closed-off expression, that wasn’t the case. “Is there trouble in paradise?”
Thomas shook his head at that. “No, no trouble. Just a couple of rocky moments and some, well, I guess culture clashes would be the best word for it.”
Like Cameron, Joel was human too. Parker wondered how many more culture clashes he had to look forward to. “But nothing serious?”
“No, nothing serious. And all because the two of us managed to communicate honestly about those issues instead of making assumptions and figuring that the mating bond would take care of it.”
He should’ve known Thomas would turn it back to him and Cameron. “I did communicate honestly with him.”
“To ask him to come to a meeting first thing in the morning and after ignoring his phone call.”
Parker opened his mouth to defend himself, but realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere with that. Wasn’t this why he’d called Thomas in the first place? To get advice because what he’d done wasn’t working?
Cameron had been right that morning. His council had been right yesterday. He’d ignored them both without telling them why. He’d been so caught up in his own excitement that he’d lost sight of Cameron entirely. “I screwed up.” He should’ve mentioned something to his council. They must’ve wondered why he’d been ignoring them. “I screwed up with Cameron and my council.”
Thomas looked annoyingly pleased. “And what are you going to do about it?”
“That’s why I called you!” Thomas was supposed to tell him what to do next. “I can’t go on like this. I can’t be a good Keeper and a good mate, but I also don’t want to choose.” His heart ached at the thought of giving up Cameron, but it didn’t ease at the thought of giving up his position.
“But you don’t have to. It’s what Mitchell and I have been telling you all along. You’re far too involved. You have to let your council do more by themselves and trust them to do a good job.”
Parker snorted. Thomas made it sound so easy. “I let them do things by themselves this weekend, and nothing got done. They all waited for me to fix things.”
“Yes, because you didn’t tell them beforehand that you wouldn’t be available. I’m pretty sure that if you tell them you’re expecting them to handle more things without you, it’ll be fine.” Thomas sounded so sure.
“You were at that meeting. They all argued with each other, barely letting each other speak.” How could he let his council run things if they couldn’t even run themselves?
“Well, I saw a council who was passionate, made good arguments and listened to each other. They did come to a decision, didn’t they?”
“Eventually.”
“And that plan you mentioned? With Glen at the barn?” Thomas tilted his head and smiled. “Because from how you told it, it sounds like one of them came up with it.”
“That’s true,” he admitted. “They’re not completely incompetent. But there are so many things that could go wrong. Important things.” Yes, maybe he was too involved with how his district was run, but it was the only way to make sure it was run smoothly. It was better to do things yourself to make sure they were done right.
“And some of those things will go wrong if you take a step back,” Thomas told him. “Your council members will learn, and then it won’t go wrong next time. Don’t pretend you immediately got everything right in your first few years of being Keeper.”
He stiffened at that, but Thomas was right. He’d made mistakes, and there was no better teacher than that. He’d learned and improved. It was unfair to expect his council to be as quick and efficient at something he’d been doing for years. “You’re saying that I have to accept that things will go wrong? That I have to let things go wrong?”
“Not let. If you notice something they missed, obviously you should point it out. And you can choose what you want to stay involved with. Take a step back from the things that aren’t as important, or where mistakes aren’t a complete disaster. If something goes wrong, fix it. Better yet, let your council fix it.”
Parker’s immediate thought was that everything he did was important and there was no way he could delegate any of it to his council members. But Thomas was right. Not everything he did was equally important, and there was some routine stuff he might be able to hand off to someone else. “This is going to take time.” It would be a big change for himself and the council, but he thought his council would be happy and eager to do more themselves. Isaac often grumbled that it took so long to get Parker’s approval for smaller expenses. Olivia was annoyed over having to double-check every decision she made in a shifter dispute with Parker, especially when it was a type of disagreement she’d dealt with a couple of times before.
“Yeah, it won’t all be different by tomorrow or next week. And you’re never gonna be as hands-off as Mitchell.”
“Not in a million years.” Parker shuddered at the thought. “I don’t know how he can do it.”
“You’ll figure out your way of balancing things and talking to your council about it,” Thomas said. “But more importantly, you’ll have to talk to Cameron about it and show him that you want to do better. The good thing about being fated mates is that you know you have a good shot at him giving you another chance.”
“A good shot?” Parker echoed. That meant there was a chance Cameron wouldn’t want to give him a second chance. A pit opened in his stomach at the thought of that.
“Well, nothing’s certain. Sure, he feels the strong connection between the two of you, but that’s no guarantee he’ll immediately fall back in your arms. That’ll take time too.”
The tension in his stomach eased. “He’ll have as much time as he needs.”
“Just remember to actually talk to him about it this time,” Thomas said. “And maybe don’t invite him to any more council meetings in the near future.”
“Unless he wants to.” Because sure, he had sprung those meetings on Cameron, but he’d taken part in them and made good points. He hadn’t frozen up.
But he was getting ahead of himself again by fantasizing about a future where Cameron would want to be more involved in shifter matters.
He had to make sure Cameron wanted to be more involved with one shifter in particular first.
He went back to his office feeling a lot calmer. He knew what he had to do now.
His three council members were surprised when he came back and he immediately addressed what Cameron had said before storming off. “I know you all have good enough hearing, so let’s not pretend you don’t know.”
Isaac and Glen exchanged sheepish looks, while Olivia tried to keep her face in check.
“I met my mate last Friday.” He gave them an abridged and censored version of what had happened between him and Cameron so far. It was a shame the other three weren’t here, but he’d have to fill them in later. “It’s obvious that things are going to have to change around here. I can’t be in a relationship with my fated mate if I focus as much on my job as I did. You’ll all get more responsibilities.”
Olivia gasped and she grabbed Glen’s arm in surprise. “Is this really happening? Can you pinch me?”
“Very funny.” He looked at Olivia, and she immediately pulled her hand away. He sighed, knowing that he shouldn’t be annoyed at them for being surprised or happy about it. If he’d started delegating to his council members earlier and instructing them on how to run things, he would never have been in this situation. Still, his pride didn’t hurt an
y less over it. He took a deep breath, steeling his nerves before continuing. “And there’s no time to start like the present. You’re in charge of the plan to stop Everett from buying the farm. Whether you all work together or if you appoint someone to take the lead is up to you.” He’d definitely have preferred putting someone in charge, but well, he was delegating, right? The only way his council could prove they didn’t need him involved in everything was to give them that chance by stepping back. “All I ask is that you keep me updated. You’re in charge of all decisions otherwise.”
“Are you sure?” Isaac looked at the others. “Is this really what you want to do? Buying the farm was your idea in the first place.”
“Yes, but it also involves my mate, so I can’t be objective about this.” He grimaced when Glen failed not to look smug. The bat shifter had been the one to ask if Parker was only interested in that farm because of his mate. “Look, this is going to be a learning curve for all of us, okay? And it’s going to take time. And—and you’re going to screw up at some point.”
The three council members all started talking at once.
“We would never screw up, we know what we’re doing!”
“I’ve been doing this for years, this is ridiculous.”
“If you think we’re gonna get it wrong, do it yourself!”
Parker raised both hands. “I’ve made mistakes myself too when I first started.” They fell silent at that. “Mistakes are how we learn. Things are going to change, and we’ll have to see how it goes in the next few months. I need you all to be honest with me and each other if you think it isn’t working.” He lowered his hands again, clasping them together. He knew what he’d have to say next. His dragon was writhing in reluctance inside of him.
Don’t say it. Don’t admit it!
“Since this is new for me too, I’ll screw up as well.”
They all stared at him, too stunned to speak. Parker knew what they had to be thinking. A dragon shifter, a Keeper of the Peace, admitting he wasn’t always right?