“Fool, you gotta be crazy,” said some fat boy six lockers down, standing around with a few of his buddies. “Running around here like a colorful clown dressed in booty-hugging spandex.” Almost everybody in the hallway gave Dex a good laugh. But Fats wasn’t finished. “Those pants you got on now are so tight, when you and Marissa walked by us a few seconds ago me and the fellas were having trouble trying to tell her booty from yours.”
Students roared with laughter.
Xavier said, laughing, “I know you ain’t gonna let fat boy style on you like that.”
Dex cracked back, “Now see, you done got your mother in trouble. I was gonna let her go to the prom with me, but thanks to her big-mouth son, that hairy-back gorilla gotta take her prom dress back.”
The students let go with the chorus of ohhhs and ahhhs.
The fat dude said, “You got me. I give up.”
Kato Holloway walked out of the stairwell and through the hallway doors. The diamond studs in his ears looked to be bigger than the first pair he’d worn. And he had on a different pair of Cartier glasses.
Xavier and Dex looked on as one of the fat boy’s homeboys wasn’t watching what he was doing and backed up, bumping into Kato. It was as if life stopped in the hallway with everybody wanting to see what type of juice the new dude was flexing with. Kato stared the guy down but didn’t choke homie up. Just let the warning in his eyes speak for him.
“Did you see that?” Dex asked Xavier.
“I’m standing next to you with a pair of eyeballs. How could I not see it?”
“What do you make of it?” Dex queried.
“I think we have a new playa on the block,” Xavier replied.
They both nodded their heads.
“Anyway,” Dex said. “Man, you have more drama floating around in the gossip going through this school than anybody else.”
Marissa added, “Rumor has it that you and Heather are getting y’all freak on.”
Xavier ignored her and said to Dex, “Don’t y’all go anywhere without each other? Jesus. It’s like y’all joined at the hip like some Siamese twins.”
Dex cracked up laughing. “Don’t try and change the subject, X. You hooked up with strange Heather and didn’t tell me.”
Xavier closed his locker. “One, it’s nothing to tell—two, it’s nothing to tell.”
Xavier felt bad lying to his homeboy. Dex was the one person outside of Billy who he could rely on. Through no fault of his own, Dex sometimes had loose lips and loved to gossip.
Dex dapped Xavier. “You holdin’ out, but that’s cool. Word has it that that chick’s unstable, so watch your zipper, you feel me? Don’t want to end up”—he made his fingers like a pair of scissors—“in emergency with the surgeons trying to sew it back on, you dig.”
Xavier asked Marissa, “What is this cheap-imitation sucka buying you for Christmas?”
Dex stepped in and answered, “She already got a guy like myself.” He popped his collar. “Anything else can’t measure up to the kid.”
“Great, Marissa,” Xavier said, trying not to laugh. “I guess you’ll be taking the wrappings off super sucka Christmas morning.”
“Just for that crack, you are not invited to my New Year’s Eve party,” said Dex.
“No, your parents are not letting a lame like you have a New Year’s Eve party,” Xavier teased.
Marissa said proudly, “Yes, they are letting my baby host his own party.”
Xavier analyzed Dex’s outfit. “Let me guess who’s going to be there: all the different colors from the Crayola box, right?”
“Guess what sucka is not going to be there: you, tough guy,” Dex joked.
“I wouldn’t want to hang out at some New Year’s Eve party for squares, anyway.”
Dexter and Marissa walked away.
Xavier asked, laughing, “What time should I be there?”
Dex hollered over his shoulder, “Starts at nine, sucka.”
Linus Flip was waiting on Xavier in the student parking lot to give him a ride home. Since the GMC SUV boys rode down on them that night, Flip had been trying to stick extra close to Xavier.
The calendar was swiftly coming to the end of the year. The New Year, Xavier hoped, would come bearing peace, tranquility, and a solution to end all of the madness popping off around him.
15
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 25
9:00 A.M.
CHRISTMAS MORNING
Despite the absence of a Christmas tree and holiday decorations throughout the Hunter household, Xavier thought that Noah would at least get Alfonso a few gifts.
No dice.
Alfonso was in his room, lying across his bed crying, when Xavier walked past on his way to the bathroom. There was no need to ask him why, when Xavier already knew the score. It’d been a very bad mistake a few days ago to ask Noah about the missing Christmas decorations. Noah had jumped all over Xavier. Spouting off some crap about the true meaning of the season. He said that Christmas trees and video games didn’t have anything to do with the birth of Jesus Christ. The devil was behind the commercialization of the holiday. Noah had also said that Satan wouldn’t get a penny of his bread. He’d rather go to the soup lines and give it away.
Xavier closed the door behind him and sat on the bed beside his kid brother. “Don’t cry, Alfonso. I’ll make this right for us, you’ll see.”
Alfonso had his head smothered in his pillow, so his voice was muffled. “I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I weren’t a good kid.”
One look around Alfonso’s bedroom left Xavier speechless. The joint looked to be a mini-version of Noah’s bedroom. Crosses and the praying hands were affixed to the wall over the headboard, and a Bible lay on top of the dresser, opened to Psalms 23.
“Big brother, I used to pray for dad to get out of jail and take us from Ne Ne,” Alfonso said, sniffling. “Now I kind of wish that we were back with Ne Ne. At least I could play my Scarface game on PlayStation.” Alfonso wiped his eyes. “Why is he doing this to me? Doesn’t he think I’m a good kid?”
Xavier rubbed his brother’s back to console him. “You have been a good kid—a great kid. No matter what, your big brother is going to always be there for you. I promise, Alfonso, I’ll make up for this Christmas. You’ll get what you want, okay?”
The kid looked innocently at Xavier. “The boy with the pit bull is still talking about me every day after school. Tellin’ everybody that you are a coward because you won’t come up there and stop him.”
As soon as it came out of Alfonso’s mouth it smacked Xavier in the face like a huge, powerful backhand. Dealing with his own issues he’d completely forgotten all about his brother’s needs. Xavier was going through hell, but there was no need for Alfonso to be doing the same. Yeah. Xavier couldn’t do anything about his brother wearing crunchy gear, but he could sure change the attitudes of the students at Alex Haley Middle School about bullying, especially picking on his little brother.
Xavier wasn’t given a chance to comment. There was a knock on the door and Noah barged in, dressed in a colorful bathrobe and carrying a few plain white boxes. He noticed Alfonso’s tears.
“Son, why are you crying?”
Alfonso didn’t answer.
Noah placed the boxes down at the foot of the bed. “These are for you,” he said to his youngest.
Alfonso slowly wiped his eyes and sat up, halfheartedly trying to smile. He timidly grabbed the boxes. When the boy popped the first lid Xavier wanted to grab his father around the throat and strangle him. There was no toy. No electronic game. No cell phone. Not even a board game—nothing fun and adventurous. Instead, there was a dark blue thrift-shop outfit.
Noah proudly said to Alfonso, “I want you to look sharp this evening. There’s a Christmas program going on and I want us to attend as a family.”
The look on Alfonso’s face was priceless.
Noah was feeling himself. Smiling from ear to ear. “Aren’t you going to go ahead and open the last gift?” h
e pressed Alfonso.
Alfonso looked sadly at Xavier and burst into tears. He leapt from the bed and ran out of the room and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
The awkward moment didn’t last long. Xavier wasn’t holding ’em up anymore. “You couldn’t even give Alfonso his little moment. Instead you spoiled everything.”
Noah was putting the lid back on the box. “You are forgetting who the parent is again. Remember: ‘Honor thy father and thy mother and the days—’ ”
“That’s all good, but you remember this: We both have made adjustments for you. You haven’t made one bit for us. That boy has worked his tail off in school and the least you could’ve done was give him something he wanted.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to like that?” Noah checked Xavier. “I was away from my family far too long. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life until I found salvation. You two are not going down that road. Jesus Christ is your salvation.”
Xavier didn’t back down. “Those were your mistakes. We have a right to make ours without you slapping us over the head with Scripture when we do. Can’t you see it’s only pushing us away from you?”
“In prison—”
“You’re not in prison anymore. And I think I understand why you go so hard with this religious thang. Too scared you’ll fall off and become what you used to be. But your fear is tearing this family apart and you’re too blind to see it.”
Noah hadn’t seen that one coming. Knocked off balance by his son’s accurate perception of him.
It was as if Noah had lost all holiness in the face of this low blow. “And your mother was better at raising kids, right?”
“Hypocrite,” Xavier spat. “I read a few lines in that Bible about judging others when I was locked up in juvenile detention. I know you think that I probably heard this from my man Tupac, but ‘only God can judge me.’ ”
Noah had this stupid look on his face.
Xavier laughed sarcastically. “Not as Scripture-illiterate as you thought?”
“You’re a rebellious child. You don’t want to listen to me and you don’t go to church. Satan has become your master and this world your playground, but I will guide you back into the light, Xavier. Best believe that.”
As Noah picked up the boxes and was about to exit the room, Xavier said, “I’ll be waiting, sinner.”
Noah couldn’t say anything. He just shook his head and walked out.
16
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31
8:00 P.M.
New Year’s Eve found Xavier and his father at each other’s throats. Noah was trying to force the boy into going to the watch night service at the church to usher in the New Year. Xavier wasn’t buying it. He had plans to wild out at Dex’s New Year’s Eve party. At one point in the heated exchange, Noah looked like he was going to lay hands on his son but then he thought about it.
Before Xavier stormed out of the house, Noah threatened him that he’d be sorry. Xavier looked at his father like he would be a perfect candidate to win the worst-father-of-the-year award, shook his head at his old man, and bounced.
Dexter’s parents are cool as hell, Xavier thought as he got off the bus and began walking toward his street after the party. Laid-back. They’d let the teens have their fun, as long as things didn’t get too crazy. Dex’s father was hip for a man in his mid-forties. Spoke the lingo with his son’s guests and was a joy to be around and kick it with. Dexter had had a lot of Coleman High students in attendance, way more than Xavier thought would come. Everybody had a dope time. No liquor. No fights. No arguments. Just a fun time. They danced and got it in to good music. It was just what Xavier needed. Some serious stress relief.
It was thirty degrees out. Pretty cold. Xavier was dressed for it, though. There was no snow on the ground, so it was all good.
It was a little after midnight and the streets were dark and vacant. An occasional lamppost beamed down pockets of light onto the street. Xavier was floating on cloud nine as he crossed Warren Avenue, thinking about Dexter’s mom. She was one fine lady. Real easy on the eyes for an older chick. Dex’s father was lucky to have her.
In the distance Xavier could hear gunshots. People in the D had this crazy ritual of bringing in the New Year by shooting guns, and some fools would bust caps way into the a.m. hours. Before he’d left to get his groove on, Xavier had been concerned about coming back home after midnight. This was one of the worst times for being out and about. Occasionally bystanders had been struck and killed by stray bullets once the clock struck midnight.
Why can’t every day be like this? Xavier thought. So far, not counting the occasional differences he’d had with Noah, his holiday vacation was pretty peaceful. Now, how his old man would choose to handle Xavier coming home after midnight would be a different story. But Xavier wasn’t sweating it. He’d just had a ball. Never once thought about the drama in his life. At no time had he been concerned with Tall and Husky, the GMC SUV boys, Heather, or whining like a sucka over Samantha. Yes sir, he’d had himself a good time.
Xavier was about seven houses from the crib when he smelled smoke. Nothing to trip out about. Just smelled like some inconsiderate butthole out back burning garbage.
I wonder, Xavier thought. Nah, he couldn’t be. He dismissed the notion.
Xavier didn’t get alarmed until he actually saw dark smoke rising over the top of his house, highlighted by the light of the lamppost out front. And that’s when it hit him.
No he wasn’t! he yelled inside of his head. Xavier ran between the houses, screaming, “Aye, stop!”
The figure saw him coming and started feeding the fire like crazy, pushing the flames higher, spreading the light and devouring the darkness.
This couldn’t be happening to him, Xavier thought, jumping the fence that separated his house from the neighbor’s. His heart was racing as he ran to the fire just in time to see Noah feed the last pair of True Religion jeans into the raging inferno.
Xavier bent over at the waist and put his hands on his knees, tears sliding down his face. He just couldn’t take it anymore. His father was trying to break him and he knew it.
Noah was dressed in a topcoat, open, showing off a secondhand suit and crinkled black leather shoes. The Bible lay on the ground next to his feet.
“The Lord led me to the house where you kept your designer devils,” Noah said, the light from the fire ghoulishly framing his face.
It was like the last of Xavier’s strength went away at witnessing the fire ravage his last pair of Air Force 1s. His tears were for the rest of the money that Billy had given him. He’d stuffed the loot inside of the shoe a while ago. Not only was he now without clothes, but he was flat broke.
The blaze snapped and crackled as if to urge Noah to feed it more.
Xavier fell to the ground on his knees and cried like his world was coming to an end. He wasn’t really shedding tears over the loss of his clothing. It was the fact that his father was so cold and cruel. Xavier had been like Alfonso—couldn’t wait until one day he would get a chance to somehow meet his father and they would have the great father-son relationship that he’d always dreamt about. This wasn’t what Xavier had had in mind.
His mother Ne Ne would’ve been a welcome sight right now. She might have done some foul things to him, but burning his designer clothing wasn’t one of them. This was a new level of craziness that he was being forced to deal with.
His chest heaved and he slipped to the cold ground, coming to rest in a fetal position. Death would be a welcome comfort. The pressure on his shoulders had become too much. And now this—the only clothes he had left in this world were on his back and he had no money left.
Noah tried to stoop down and console his son. “Now that we’ve gotten rid of those designer devils, you can come to God.”
Xavier came to life and slapped away his father’s hand. “Don’t touch me. Get your damn hands off.” He stood up, dusting off dirt and dry grass from his pants. “You just don’t ge
t it. You will never get it.” Xavier broke and ran between the houses, out to the front and disappeared into the darkness.
Here he was, in the last place he’d ever wanted to be, but Xavier had nowhere else to go. Nobody to turn to at this hour of the morning. Of course he could’ve called Billy. But he didn’t want to get the old guy in trouble with his young baby mama. She was on Billy’s head every time he turned around.
“Do you know why I love you so much, Hunter?” Heather asked Xavier. They were sitting across from each other on beanbags.
Xavier could care less. All he wanted was to go to sleep and deal with all of his troubles in the morning.
She sipped the drink from the red plastic cup. “It’s just me and my mom. Just the two of us—all the family I’ve ever had in this world. Don’t know about my father. My mother never married him. She said that one day he woke up and decided that he didn’t want to be a father anymore, so he stepped. Moms didn’t have much luck when it came down to choosing the right man. One was so bad that he would drink and then beat on the both of us.
“I always wanted my daddy to come and save us. The bum never showed, though. It was all good. Girls want to feel protected, safe, you know, like nobody can hurt them. Hunter, you make me feel that way. You make me feel like I’m safe from harm.” Heather’s eyes became misty. “Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
Xavier wasn’t trying to understand. The only gear he’d owned in this world was now polluting the Detroit skies. This conversation was way too deep for him. Too many things going on inside of his head to even try to understand what had happened to her.
“I knew you still loved me, Hunter,” Heather said, sitting across from him drinking something out of a red plastic cup. She offered the cup to Xavier. “Since you won’t tell me what’s going on with you, why don’t you drink some of this? It’ll make you feel better.”
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