My father's eyes glistened. Before him lay his mother, frail and unmoving, and he would be the one to end her existence. My superstitious fears seemed childish compared to his daunting task. I had no choice.
I stroked the top of her silver haired head, tucking back a couple of loose strands. Cautiously, I leaned in, pressing a light kiss to her cheek. "Bye Grandma."
Stepping back a few paces, I watched Dad cradle her in his burley arms, clenching her fragile body to his chest. A heart wrenching sound poured from him and uncontrollable tears drenched both our faces.
One by one, the tubes were removed. Monitors beeped once, twice, before the jagged red line smoothed straight, parallel to the green line beneath. The nurse turned the machines off and a tangible silence enveloped the room. Then I heard it—the gasping shudder of death officially consuming my grandmother. A surreal horror swamped me with the realization I'd witnessed the end of a human life.
Recoiling from the gruesome scene, I bolted out the door, my legs racing to catch up with the rest of me. I crashed through double metal doors and raced past a nurse's station until my legs crumpled. My face slapped the cold tile floor and I curled into ball and wept.
Blindly, I reached for the handrail, slowly pulling myself upright. A nurse who chased me, stopped when I rested my hand against the glass window and the diamonds in my pink bracelet sparkled under the lights. She silently backed away.
My breathing slowed and I focused on the scene before me. Without realizing, I'd ran into the maternity ward. Standing in front of the nursery window, I gazed at the newest members of the human population lined up in clear plastic boxes, tagged and marked for shipment into the world. I noticed the common link between them. A patch pasted behind each bitty right ear, covering the implanted chip. I wondered how many of these tiny bundles would be chosen as candidates for The Program?
I swept my moist cheeks with the back of my hand and stepped away from the window, fighting for air. My life spun out of control and I feared gravity alone could no longer keep my feet firmly planted on earth.
The sun's rays stretched through the windows at the end of the empty hall I aimlessly wandered, and the silhouette of a man walked in front of the shaft of light. I knew immediately who it was, even if I thought it totally impossible.
"Jordan!"
Sprinting down the hall and jumping into his arms, I nearly knocked him to the ground. Clinging to him as if he was the very oxygen I needed to breathe, I fisted his shirt collar and pressed my face against his neck. The soft locks of hair I fingered smelled of coconut-scented shampoo and the warm skin held a hint of his signature cologne.
Jordan carried me to a bench along the wall, safeguarding me within his arms. I raised my head to compassionate eyes staring back.
"It's okay. I'm here." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a dry handkerchief.
I wiped my cheeks and runny nose, mortified when I saw the huge wet spot on his shirt from my tears. "Sorry, I'm such a mess."
"Yes, but you're my mess and beautiful, in a swollen-red-snotty-nose sort of way."
A feeble smile eased on my face. It was true. I was his. At least for ninety days.
"Why aren't you with your dad?"
"I freaked and ran when that eerie sound..." My voice disappeared when the nightmare rushed forward.
"The 'death rattle.' I should have warned you."
I tipped against Jordan's shoulder, clenching his handkerchief. "I can't believe it's over—that Grandma is really dead." I inhaled a deep breath, holding it for a moment and closing my eyes. A soft kiss christened each eyelid.
"She's in a better place now."
I lifted my eyes to his. "Do you believe Heaven exists, Jordan?"
"I hope there's something better after this life." His thumb swiped over my damp cheek. "Although now that you're part of mine, life's pretty terrific the way it is."
The stress of the day took its toll on Rick and he returned to the hotel. Tomorrow would prove to be another grueling day. Jordan and I headed for the beach to watch the sunset. I needed to rinse my mind with ocean breezes and desperately wanted some time alone with him.
The sun faded on the horizon, its rays fanning outward in bright golden fingers against an amber sky. We found a private stretch of beach below the canopy of a cliff, kicking off our shoes and digging our toes into the cool, damp sand.
"I miss the ocean," I mused aloud. "Something about sitting on warm sand and having the sea kiss your toes is so romantic."
Jordan tugged me down beside him. "Speaking of romantic…" His teeth lightly nipped my jaw and his lips wandered the side of my neck. "We have this beach all to ourselves. It would be shame to waste the moment." His eyes reflected the final rays of the day, turning a dark topaz color.
"I love your eyes. They change color with the world around you—hypnotic."
His fingers wrapped my neck, gently bringing my lips to his. "Do I have you under my spell?"
I ran my tongue along his bottom lip, his eyes turning the color of dark whiskey.
"Definitely."
He cradled my head, holding me against his lips in a kiss filled with an intimacy we'd never shared before. He pulled back, tenderly stroking my cheek with his knuckles, his eyes soaking me in.
"I love how you feel on my lips."
"I kind of like being there."
Threading my hands into his thick hair, I pulled him back to me. Our bodies entangled, rolling together in the sand. Jordan moved on top of me and settled between my legs, key body parts pressed together. All the blood in my body heated and pooled deep. Despite my inexperience, I could tell by his body's reaction the wild craving to touch, and be touched, coursed through him with the same impatient heat flooding my own body.
He buried his face in my hair, kissing down my neck, until his tongue tasted the skin under the lace edge rimming my neckline. My breath caught in my throat and goose bumps rushed beneath the fingertips feathering across the bare skin between my shirt and jeans. Jordan lifted slightly, gazing at me without moving his hand from where it pressed my stomach, the heat searing my bare skin and everything inside me.
"Look at me," he beckoned.
I struggled to find enough oxygen to fill my lungs when dark, wanton eyes held my mine captive as I pushed each button on his shirt through the tiny holes until the fabric lay loose. The sight of his smooth chest turned my mouth dry. I pushed his shirt off and tasted the salty dew on his naked skin, feeling his moan rumble against my mouth.
Jordan flattened me into the sand, the kiss in response reckless and demanding. His hand snaked under my shirt and settled over my satin bra. I remained locked in his gaze, gripping his upper arms, unable to fight the dizzying thrill surging through me. He eased my top higher and a sharp breath burned my throat when his head dipped and he lightly sucked the skin along the edge of my bra. I purred low in my throat and small puffs of air warmed the damp skin when I felt his lips pull into smile.
"Am I pushing my luck?"
"I'm not sure." My eyes glossed over when he purposely shifted his hips and his fingers stroked my skin causing sweet, seductive shivers to build. "Maybe" sputtered on a quickening breath. I no longer heard the surf pounding the rocks, only the rush of blood in my ears, my focus centered on Jordan's touch.
His lips curled over the shell of my ear. "Want me to stop?"
I bit my lip against the delightful agony blooming. "I…no," the latter sliding into a sensuous slur. My subconscious folded her arms in disapproval.
"Jordan?"
"Hmm?" he mumbled, concentrating on torturing me more than forming words.
"What would happen if...if we went all the way?"
Everything came to a halt. I even wondered for a moment if Jordan actually stopped breathing, except I felt his heart hammer wildly against my palms.
He rolled to the side of me. "We'd be kicked out of The Program."
"Maybe it's worth it." I smoothed my shirt down and curled into the crook of his a
rm. "We could run away—"
"No!" He cut my sentence short, his tone sharp. "Damn! I shouldn't have let things go so far. I need to remain in control," he muttered with self-reproach. He sat up and leaned on his knees, his tone brittle. "Leaving The Program isn't an option, Marli."
I knelt beside him. "Jordan, there are always options."
He wouldn't look at me, eyes fixed forward watching the last remnants of the sunset kiss the horizon goodbye. "Not for me and definitely not for you." The stern declaration closed it to further discussion.
Anger flickered. "You don't choose my options, Jordan."
His fingers scraped the back of his neck and he granted me a fleeting look over his shoulder. Nothing more.
"You're right. Not me. But the answer is still 'no.'"
I should have left things alone, but I sensed something more. "Are you hiding something?"
He refused to look at me when he answered. "Nothing you need to worry about."
I scrambled to my feet and snatched my sandals. "I hate secrets."
Jordan grabbed his shirt, sending a cloud of sand into the air. "Dammit Marli, let this go, please." I brushed by him and he caught my arm. "Don't be like this." I jerked loose and marched toward the trail leading to the parking lot above. "Marli!" I didn't answer or slow my march. "Whatever. Run away!"
My teeth ground together. I whipped around, stopping him from coming closer. "I'm not the one running from something. Damn! You're so frustrating!"
Taking a shortcut straight up the hill, Jordan beat me to the car. When I reached for the handle, he pushed me up against the passenger side. "Stop this. You don't understand. There are forces at play here, Marli, and neither of us can afford to make mistakes right now."
I leveled an icy stare. "I'm not dumb. You're covering up something and lying about it.
"I've never thought of you as dumb and I'm sorry you don't trust me."
"Same here."
We drove back to the hotel in silence. It wasn't until we stood at the suite door that Jordan spoke, his voice distant as he announced he'd get another room. Exactly the opposite of what I wanted. I needed him here with me, but I could tell by his stiff posture that he still harbored some anger from the beach. Mine had waned in the forty-five minute drive.
I made a desperate plea, citing that if Rick didn't find him in our room in the morning, I'd undergo a grueling interrogation. I held out my hand and he left it dangling pathetically while he decided. When his fingers wove through mine and wrapped tight, a jolt of electricity seared my nerve endings. The simple touch proved the connection between us remained and I let go the breath trapped in my throat.
A stack of pillows and blankets piled on the sofa suggested Rick had already gone to bed. We tossed the cushions and snapped what looked to be an uncomfortable mattress into place. Jordan doubled one of the blankets and spread it on the floor. Judging by the hard lumps beneath my knees as I climbed on the sofa bed, Jordan had the softer place to sleep.
A question popped in my mind as I smoothed the sheet. "Jordan? Why did you come?" I wanted to ask earlier, but at the time, it didn't matter why, only that he had.
Suddenly a feathery weapon struck my head knocking me over.
"I didn't want you to go through this alone," my handsome assailant replied quietly.
He tucked one blanket under the corners of the mattress and I took advantage of the moment with his head down, to deliver a down-filled blow.
"Sure that's the only reason?"
Jordan grabbed the pillow and held it hostage. He sat on the edge of my makeshift bed and studied me with hooded eyes that still had a glint of mischief. "What are you really asking?"
Cautiously, I crawled closer. "I wondered if maybe you were curious about Alaska, enough that you couldn't wait until I returned." I desperately wanted to ask about the "ninety-day hold," but knew the topic could trigger another argument and spoil things.
When I tried to sneak the pillow, Jordan pounced and placed me in a headlock. When I raised my hands in surrender, he released me and patted the mattress for me to sit beside him.
"You are the sole reason I came." He tucked me under his arm. "But since you've brought it up, I have a confession regarding Alaska."
"Now you're sharing secrets."
His peaked brow matched mine."More like my guilty conscience nagging." His fingers lightly stroked along my arm and my skin tingled. "When you called yesterday…I was in Juneau looking for you."
"…tan this far north…you're not here…"
"Juneau? You followed me to Alaska? Why?"
"You didn't answer my calls or messages. I got worried—something I don't handle well.
"Obviously. How did you know where I stayed?"
"I, uh, didn't."
I faced him, unable to stifle the giggle. "You flew all the way to Alaska because you were jealous—" I held up my hand when he started to object. "Admit it, jealous. But you had no idea where to find me so you were just going to 'hotel hop' until you did?"
"Something like that."
"So why tell me? I'd probably never have found out."
Jordan scrubbed his face against his palms. "I'm not so sure that's true. And after accusing me of keeping secrets, I need you to believe in me again.
After indulging me with a lusty, apologetic kiss, he launched into the Spanish Inquisition about the interview. When I revealed my proposed candidate was Doug Peterson, his brows screwed together.
"Do you know him?" I asked.
"How would I know him?"
He gathered me close again, asking about what we did and if I met Doug's family. I thought about all the things Doug and I did in the short time I spent there, but to preserve my life, I edited my reply.
"Doug took me to a barbeque where I met his family. They seemed nice. His dad even invited me into his private office and offered me a taste of some new brandy," I said, waving my hand in a dismissive gesture. However, I couldn't erase the memory of Tony Peterson's eyes, the feel of his hands, or his creepy sidekick, not to mention the topic of conversation where I became a bargaining chip.
Jordan nearly choked. "You were alone with T—Mr. Peterson?" The little vein below his cheek twitched and his tone reeked of disgust. "I can't believe he offered you liquor. You're a minor."
I hated reminders of my age, but when I tried to pull away, both arms wrapped tight. His voice turned small and fearful. "Hey, I didn't mean anything by it, I swear. I know you don't drink. It's just odd he'd do that."
"Mr. Peterson said something about me learning 'social graces.' It was all kind of weird. What I don't get is why you sound scared."
"Because I'm constantly afraid of losing you."
I placed a light kiss on his neck. "You're not going to lose me, Jordan."
"I wish I was as sure of that as you are. All the same, I'm glad you're not in Alaska anymore."
My thumb rubbed mindlessly across Jordan's palm. "I feel bad about disappearing and only leaving a note. I haven't had time to call and apologize." A lie more than a truth. I had time, but chose not to call, fearing another rash decision from Doug.
"He'll understand." Jordan brushed the hair out of my eyes and kissed me softly. "I'm sorry about the beach."
"Same here, but I, uh, kind of liked what we did…before our fight."
Jordan brushed his lips over my knuckles, placing a tiny bite on my pinky. "Ditto."
I twisted the loose curl over his eye in my finger. "Someday, will you tell me what you're guarding from me?"
"Do you trust me Marli—I mean, really trust me?"
I thought about it for a second before answering. "Yes."
"Then please trust there's a good reason I can't say anything, right now. When I can, I'll tell you everything."
A mental "thank you" went to Brittany again for the pajama idea. When I came out of the bathroom, Jordan stood in front of the window in pajama bottoms that rode low on his hips. The moonlight found its way through a break in the clouds and the si
lver glow bounced off his body. Broad shoulder blades resembled stone wings guarding braided muscles, roped to a deep "V" at his lower back. I swallowed, unable to ignore the intense hot flutter that seemed to hover whenever I came within a mile of him. He shuffled a T-shirt over his head, covering my view.
Damn.
I folded into his open arms, laying my cheek against his warm chest. I felt safe in his embrace. Safe, from whatever unknown he felt he needed to protect me from. Safe from whatever unknown I left in Alaska, still haunting me.
He drew little circles over my back. "Hmm. Nothing underneath. I like." I gasped, hushing when his lips pressed and lingered, only for as long as he felt safe. "I'm glad you'll be eighteen soon."
"Is that the magic age when you'll seduce me?"
A wicked spark glinted in his dark eyes. "Is that an invitation?"
"What if I said I'm not sure I can wait that long."
Jordan growled, playfully biting my ear. I giggled and he silenced me with another kiss. And another. "We better stop. Our lives are over if your father catches us." I climbed into bed and Jordan settled on the floor.
A few minutes passed before I heard a muffled sound from the other side of the wall. I strained to listen. Rick was crying and my heart crumbled. Anger seemed to be the only emotion he openly showed, maintaining a tough image, especially since the testosterone levels rose in my ever revolving love life.
A sudden sob caught me by surprise and I held my breath, pushing down tears. The bed shifted and an arm wound around my waist. Jordan curled his legs under mine, scooping me close, but keeping the sheet between us. A soft kiss on the back of my neck caused a small shiver.
"Hey? Are you all right?"
Still holding my breath to keep from crying, I answered only by shaking my head. His embrace tightened and his nose nestled into the nape of my neck. A beautiful tune hummed against my skin between more gentle kisses.
"Your voice is beautiful," I whispered. The humming came to an abrupt end. "Please, don't stop. It's soothing. What is it?"
"A lullaby Mom used to sing to us whenever we became frightened. I can't remember the words, but the melody's burned in my memory."
Designer Genes - The Boyfriend Cut Page 17