by Honor James
“I don’t know what I am right now,” he said. “Beyond angry, I’m practically homicidal. I had to get out of there, I’m sorry for the bum rush out the door, but another minute of that and I’d have done something I may have regretted later in life.” Shaking his head, he moved to lean against the car next to her. “Fucking hell. How the fuck did we end up with families so screwed up and against us?”
“I have no freaking idea, but I don’t think that it’s our fault. I really don’t. Whatever is going on with our families is outside of our realm of control. Just never let us get to that place in life where we are so cold and so angry all the time that we lash out at those near us?”
“Damn straight,” he agreed. “We’d better get a move on. Given the looks your mother is tossing out the window, I’m pretty sure she’s called the cops.” Pushing off the vehicle, he unlocked the doors and pulled hers open for her.
Olivia got into the vehicle and was shortly followed by the men.
“Makes my family feel downright normal,” Nathan said. “Sorry you two, but I had to drop that in there. On the plus side, now we know where we can go for Christmas. The weather will be shit, and there are definitely no beaches, but all you have to worry about is drunken karaoke Christmas tunes.”
Olivia actually laughed at that. “Right, okay well I think that we will survive drunken karaoke as long as they don’t force us to sing as well. I can deal with snow and cold, besides, I will have both of you to snuggle with when I get cold so I will never be too chilled, right?”
“It’ll be the perfect sandwich,” he said. Stretching out his legs in the back once more, he grinned at her. “Though when we’re around the family it’ll be best if we’re all clothed. I’d hate for them to all realize the tales of my size were greatly under exaggerated. Would likely send my brothers into a horrible downward spiral of shame and self-hatred.”
“Where the hell is the spray bottle?” Lee muttered. “Someone douse him out of his self-delusional state for the love of God.”
Olivia, however, was giggling. She couldn’t help it. It was far too funny to listen to these men. She could feel their friendship in everything that they said and did and she enjoyed that. “Yeah, but he has to be exceptional if he’s going to keep up with you, Lee. Right?”
“He never could keep up with me,” Lee told her. He gave her a wink as Nathan sputtered in the backseat. “He is what I like to refer to as a pale imitation of a good thing. He tries, I will give him that, but really it’s not all that impressive.”
“I will have you know that is a load of shit,” Nathan said. He was sitting forward now, his head between their seats so he was blocking her view of Lee. “He’s jealous, always has been of my magnificence. It’s sad really. I keep telling him he needs to get professional help for that. Hell I even offered to pay for the first few sessions so he could get a feel for it.”
Lee’s hand came up to push Nathan back, squishing his face in the process. “Ignore him. I knew he’d eventually snap, but I never realized it would be so bad, and so sudden.”
She was full-out laughing now. She couldn’t help herself. “Oh my freaking god, the two of you are just like siblings. I swear you boys are too freaking funny.” She enjoyed their bantering, however, a great deal. It made her ease just a bit more to listen to them as they gave each other a hard time.
“What the hell, bro? I’m just trying to let the lady know the truth here. No need to go mussing up my pretty face like that.” Nathan smacked away Lee’s hand and grinned at her. “She likes my face as it is, no need to screw it up before I even get a lip smacker out of her.”
“This is true,” Olivia put in there. “I do happen to like his face as it is. Sadly I’ve not given him a kiss yet either. I’ve been too stressed over you coming back in my life, trying to figure out how to keep my emotions from showing and now this. So yeah, sadly I’ve not had a chance for a good hug and kiss from Nathan. That’s just sad too, don’t you think?”
“Probably for the best really,” Lee said. “I’ve heard rumors he’s a drooler.”
The look on Nathan’s face was priceless. “Who the fuck has been telling lies?” he squawked. “Horrible, nasty lies I tell you. Unbelievable,” he muttered before he pouted.
Lee gave her a look, and she could see the laughter in his eyes though his face was a blank mask. “I heard tell he actually managed to drown one poor woman. Her family was most disturbed when they found out. Pretty sure he’s on one countries most-wanted list for that.”
“I am not. Don’t listen to him, Olivia. I have perfect technique that will have your toes curling and your brain melting.”
“Yeah, well I won’t believe it until I see it. I know that Lee has this one way of kissing me that has my toes curling and has me dripping wet the moment he puts his lips on mine. Then he strokes the top of my mouth with his tongue and I want to melt in his arms.” Just having to think about that kiss right now had her nearly coming in her pants.
“Well at least I know what I’m having to work with.” Nathan shook his head. “You won’t even know what the hell’s hit you by the time I’m done giving you that kiss. If you remember your name, it’ll be a miracle.”
Lee snorted. “Cocky much, bro?”
“Not even a little. Just expounding upon my prowess is all. Olivia deserves at least a little bit of warning as to what to expect.” He gave her a wink before flopping back in his seat again.
“Well make sure to warn me before you decide to lay one on me. I want to make sure that I’m ready so that I will have my full wits about me and I will be able to give you as much attention as you deserve.”
“Deal,” he said.
The car began to slow, and only then did she realize where they were. With their joking, teasing, and general hilarity, she’d been distracted from where Lee was taking them. He reached over instantly as her good humor plummeted. Even Nathan leaned forward to put a steady hand on her shoulder to give it a squeeze as Lee parked before the mason’s place of business.
Olivia took a deep breath. “I can do this.” She squeezed Lee’s hand in hers and leaned her cheek to Nathan’s hand that was on her shoulder. It was the comfort of having both men there surrounding her that had her relaxing a bit. “Thank you, both of you.” She knew that they wouldn’t leave her and that was good. “Let’s go in and get this done then. Shall we?”
Both men made sounds of agreement, and they got out of the vehicle. Nathan was right there opening her door. He gave her a small hug before dropping his hand to the small of her back. When Lee came around to meet them, he brushed the backs of his fingers to her cheek. “Right here, always,” he said quietly.
She leaned into his caress and smiled. “I know. Where you belong and where I hope you will stay. Right?” She closed her eyes and leaned against his fingers. “Okay, let’s do this then.” She then walked into the mason’s shop along with her guys.
Chapter Eight
Two days later, Nathan and Lee stood with her as the stone was once more put into place. Olivia’s heart ached to see it going back, yet a certain peace settled in her as well in knowing it had been righted once more. Both men were holding onto her hands, or maybe she was holding theirs desperately, right then she couldn’t tell and didn’t care.
The priest Lee had said a small service for the baby. She hadn’t expected it, had been stunned he’d even thought of it, but it felt right. Once everyone but the three of them cleared out, they stood looking down at the stone headpiece in silence.
“I’ll give you two a minute,” Nathan said softly a couple of minutes after they’d been left at the small grave. “Take your time,” he told her. Lifting her hand, he pressed a kiss to her fingers before gently slipping from her grip.
Olivia stood at Lee’s side and spoke softly. “It was better, right, having you here with me.” Her hand had never left Lee’s, she clung to him for support and gave it the same way. “The added cameras over the grave make me feel better as well.” That
had surprised Olivia, Michael had sent one of the guys—she sadly couldn’t recall his name—and his new wife down to hook up some high-tech security for their son’s grave.
“Me too,” he said in a low tone. “I hate they did this, Vi. That they would do something so heinous to any gravesite, let alone our boy’s, is so many ways of wrong I don’t even know where to begin.” Slipping his hand from hers, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I wish this had never happened. You had a hard enough time dealing with the loss without adding pain to a wound that can never truly heal.”
“It’s healing better now that you are back in my life. It will never be gone, the pain, but at least now I know that there will be a future with his father. I know that one day there might, hopefully, be another child in our life. I would like that, having another child with you. This time, however, I’m making you stay with me the whole time. I mean it, mister man.”
“I’ll be glued to your side the entire time,” he said, squeezing her in closer to him. “Though why you’d want to try for another one with me is a mystery.” Turning to her, he wrapped both arms around her as he rocked them back and forth a little.
She held onto Lee and shook her head. She didn’t speak for a time and finally she looked up at him. “Because I love you, Lee. I want your child, our child. Our son was perfect, he really was. I want to be able to hold our child. To see the look on your face when you see him for the first time. I think that it will be nice. Besides, we are due some happiness, right?”
“Beyond due,” he muttered. He rubbed a hand up and down her back for a moment. “I really wish I’d known him, Vi. It hurts so much to know that I missed out on it all, the good and the bad. That I wasn’t there by your side when he was lost too soon is what really cuts me the deepest. That you had to deal with everything, all of this without me.”
“At least now we know why.” She didn’t blame Lee, not any longer. Yes, at the time she had, but after a great long time with her therapist, she was able to get past that. “We are family now, you, me and even Nathan.” She hoped so at least.
“I heard my name,” the other man said. He smiled at her when she turned her head to look his way. “How are you two doing?” he asked gently. He was about five feet away and looked worried.
With her cheek against Lee’s chest, she looked to Nathan. “We are.” She shrugged. “Okay. I won’t say anything more than that. We are surviving and we are together. We know what we lost and know that one day, hopefully, we will be blessed again. That’s the future though. How are you doing?” she asked Nathan as she watched him carefully.
He gave a shrug, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Mostly worried about you two. I feel useless because I can’t make this any easier on you both. I’m a fixer, it’s who I am, but I can’t fix this and that is seriously sucky.”
Lee pressed a kiss to her hair. “I think he needs a hug, little one,” he whispered into her hair.
After giving one more hug to Lee she walked to Nathan and when he opened her arms to him, she walked right into them. Hugging Nathan, she had her cheek on his chest and closed her eyes as she held on to him, a man she was quickly coming to care a great deal for.
He wrapped his arms around her tight. “I hate knowing you are hurting,” he said softly to her. Rubbing her back slowly he let out a breath that ruffled her hair slightly.
Heat coming up behind her warned that Lee was there before his hand landed lightly on her hair to stroke the strands. “Do you want to stay a little longer, Vi?” he asked quietly.
“No, I’m ready to leave,” she said and took in a deep breath. “I’m ready to get out of here. We’ve done what we needed to do. Our son is laid to rest once more and we are in need of a drink after this.”
“I’m buying the first round,” Nathan said. “I suggest we go back to the hotel and hit up the bar there. That way we only need to stumble up to our room when we’re six sheets to the wind, or beyond.”
“I think that’s a damn fine plan.” Lee paused, though, as she and Nathan moved to the car. He was looking back at the little grave. Olivia saw the breath he took and how his body shook on the exhalation, but when he turned to move to the car, there wasn’t anything given away on his face. She was starting to realize with Lee that the more he hurt, the deeper he buried it under that mask of his.
Olivia squeezed Lee’s hand and nodded in understanding when he looked at her once more. This was what she needed, the comfort of having her men there with her so that she was no longer alone. She just hoped that one day Lee would be able to open up to her as well. If not, she just wanted him to be able to move past his pain and get on with their lives.
“You have a look on your face like you’re planning something,” Nathan commented. He was holding her door open for her again, Lee was already in the car and the engine was going. “Am I allowed to be hopeful that it isn’t me you’re plotting against?”
“No, I was just thinking of how lucky that I am. To have two men that want me. To have two men that would like to have me in their lives. I like it, a lot. You do, right? Want me in your life that is. As more than friends?” She was leaning against the seat of the SUV with the door on one side of her as she asked that question.
“Damn straight I want you as more than merely a friend,” he said quietly. Lifting a hand, he cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing over her lower lip lightly. “I’ve been storing up a bunch of plans for you. All of them require you to be entirely naked, and pretty much at my mercy.”
“Gracious I like that idea, a lot.” She leaned into his touch and lowered her eyes slightly. “I wouldn’t be opposed at all if you kissed me right now,” she admitted. “You were after all just talking about how good you are with the whole kissing thing.”
“Later,” he told her quietly. Brushing his thumb to her lip, he leaned in enough to kiss her temple gently. “It doesn’t feel right to kiss you here, not now. But once we’re in our suite, all bets are off, sweetheart.”
“Good.” She hugged Nathan once more and then pulled back. “Thank you. For everything.” She then got into the SUV and buckled up, turning once, Nathan closed the door at her back.
Chapter Nine
Their return flight from Florida to Annapolis was not nearly as smooth as the flight down had been. They’d been forced to land in North Carolina, and then had to sit on the plane for over two hours to wait out a brutal storm front. When it had lifted, they’d been back in the air and bouncing around for the balance of the flight.
They’d voted and decided to go to Lee’s place since it was closest. Stumbling through the door, Olivia knew if anyone had spotted the three of them they’d have assumed they were all drunk. Punch-drunk maybe from exhaustion and a tension-filled flight, but definitely not the kind of drunk she’d been hoping for during their impromptu layover.
“All I want is a hot shower,” Nathan groaned as he fell onto the sofa followed by her hitting the seat next to him. Lee didn’t quite make it that far and collapsed into a chair.
“God, no kidding,” Olivia said with a sigh. “I just want to crawl into bed and forget about the shower. I’m totally good with just sleeping if you wouldn’t mind.” She rose slowly and smiled down at the man. “Tomorrow, right? Tomorrow we will be awake and then life will get back to normal, right?”
“I sure as hell hope so,” he muttered. “But if anyone wakes me up before noon, I will shoot them. No questions asked, no warning given. I still need a shower. I always feel gross after a flight. No way in hell will I sleep well without one. If you’re tired you should hit the rack though, Olivia. This has been hardest on you and Lee.”
Olivia looked at Lee where he was slumped, already sleeping. “Which room am I taking?” There were only two bedrooms and she refused to take one of the guys out of their rooms. “Maybe I should just crash on the couch and then tomorrow we will figure everything else out?”
“Master bedroom,” Lee mumbled. He even cracked an eye open to peer at her. “You are not
sleeping on the sofa, woman. Get your ass to bed,” he said before the lid slid closed again and he slouched into the chair more.
“You had better join me then,” she said with a yawn. “I will see you when you get there.” If he didn’t come to bed with her soon, she would certainly come right back and curl up with him wherever he was.
He let out a groan at her words, but started to push up out of the chair. Reaching for his bag, he nearly fell over. “Fuck it, damn thing can stay there until tomorrow. Let’s go, but I warn you now, I will be asleep before my head hits the pillow, so any funny business you have planned, you’re entirely on your own for.”
Nathan snickered at that. “I have no idea why I find that funny, but damn, I must be more tired than I thought.” He let out a jaw cracker of a yawn with sound effects. “Sleep well, Olivia,” he said to her before he pretty much fell into the guest bathroom.
Olivia helped Lee into their bedroom and then into bed after getting undressed. “Gracious,” she whispered and yawned. “I think that two-hour layover was worse than the flight.” Not being able to get up and move around, the sounds of the people in anger, the kids crying, and the stink of other people had nearly been too much for her. “Good night, Lee,” she said when she was curled up against him.
“Night, Vi,” he mumbled. He was face down in his pillow but he did manage to wrap an arm around her waist for a brief hug. “Love you, little one. But I really wasn’t kidding about the funny business. You just keep your hands to yourself tonight, missy.” Then he pulled her closer to him and brushed a kiss to her cheek.
“It’s okay, I’m too tired to do anything either.” She shifted so that she could rest her cheek to his and then yawned. “Good night. I love you, Lee,” she said quietly and was soon out like a light.