“No!”
“Woman?”
“No!”
“Child?”
“Of course not! Never.”
“Right then. So you’re not a monster. You only take care of the ones we’re ordered to destroy. You do your job and you’re fucking brilliant at it. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, and neither would Mac. You care about those close to you. You’d lay down your own life for them. That’s not something a crazy person would do. Don’t you see? You’re not getting off on killing the scum of the earth, you’re getting off on ridding the world of evil. You’re relieved they can’t hurt anyone else. By terminating the bad seeds, you’re potentially saving hundreds more.”
His eyes drilled into me like his words. Could he be right? Could there be some goodness left in me?
Char’s words flooded my brain. She’s told me I looked like I wanted to hit her and to ‘just do it.’ My immediate reaction had been one of repulsion. I had never nor would never hit a woman and I had no inclination to do so. The same with children. Men? Only if they threatened me or those close to me.
Dec gripped both my shoulders and shook me. “Hey! You hear where I’m coming from? You’re a good person. War affects all of us, no matter how tough we are. We’re still human, after all.” Watching me nod, he asked, “You gonna be okay? You ready to search for clues now?”
“Yeah. Thanks, man. Let’s do it.”
Chapter Eight
Char
The next morning, I awoke to a familiar nurse taking my temperature and changing my IV bag. Gaining my bearings, remembering I was in the hospital, I searched for Mac, finding her asleep on a chair in the corner. She’d stayed all night? Bless her! But she didn’t look comfortable, scrunched up on the hard chair.
“How are you feeling this morning, Char?” Debbie had been replaced by Martine, a middle-aged woman with four grown children. Her husband had passed from cancer twelve months ago, so working at the hospital had proved to be her life-line. She smiled cheerily at me.
“Like I’ve been in a boxing ring,” I groaned out.
My voice woke Mac. She squinted, rubbing her eyes before standing and stretching, then walking over to me.
“Hey, girl. You look better than you did last night.”
“Liar.” I huffed, sure that she was just saying it to appease me.
Leaning down, she kissed my cheek. “You may not feel it, but you look more lucid.”
Martine fluffed my pillows and checked my pulse, adding to the conversation. “What’s it like being the patient in this place? Is the service any good?” She winked and grinned, attempting a joke.
Actually, everyone had been super nice. It made me proud to be part of such a great team.
“It’s a pain being laid up even for a few hours, but the level of care is second to none. You guys are amazing.”
“It takes one to know one, girl. You’re just as amazing. I’m sure you’ll be getting home today after a scan. A little birdie told me you’re getting a week off, paid.”
Not wanting to be idle for too long and worried about returning to my apartment, I looked to Mac. “We’ll see. I’ll probably return sooner than that.”
Shaking her head with a firm set to her mouth, Mac disputed my claim. “Ah, no, you won’t be. I’ll tie you down if I have to. You’re taking some time off and will not argue about it.”
She could be a tough nut if she wanted to. I knew by her tone that I’d be silly to argue with her. I wasn’t in the mood to resist anyone.
“Fine, but I don’t want to return to my apartment.”
With Mac and Dec together every night at either one of their homes, I wasn’t sure where I’d go.
Martine finished up. “I’d love to stay and chat, ladies, but I have rounds to do. You get better and stay out of trouble, you hear me?” She tried to give me a stern warning, but I knew it was out of love and concern.
“Thanks, Martine. I’ll try.”
Giving her my best smile, she happily wandered off.
Mac glanced at me, down to the floor, and then back, biting the inside of her mouth. “Sooo, I know you probably don’t like what I’m about to say, but I think you should move in with Viper for now. Until the perp is caught.”
Widening my eyes at her absurd suggestion, I balked. “Are you freaking kidding me? What happened to you butting out of trying to put me within hitting distance of that…that…frustrating man!”
Chuckling, she added, “Before you go off on a rant, think about it. I would have you stay with me, but then you’ll feel like a third wheel.” Blushing, she continued, “Plus, ah, Dec isn’t always quiet…”
“Duh. I have heard his voice. He’s got that deep rumble going on.”
“I’m not talking about during the day.” Waiting, she stared at me a moment before my brows lifted in understanding.
“Oh. Gotcha. Ahem, well then. Yeah, that might be kind of embarrassing. For you, I mean.”
Mac laughed, fully. Could I handle hearing them go at it like rabbits? Ugh. Probably not.
That left me in a quandary.
“You can’t rein in your vocal pleasure for me?”
Perching on the edge of my bed, she patted my hand. “I can, but Dec, I’m not so sure. When he releases…it’s like…”
Before she could give me all the sordid details, I stopped her. “Don’t! Normally I’d love hearing all the dirty details, but I’m not feeling it today. I want out of here, but I don’t want to go home.”
Mac’s face grimaced as she mulled over my dilemma. “You know what? Screw Dec. Excuse the pun, but you’re my best friend. You come first. He can either quiet the hell down during sex or move in with Viper!” Leaning over me in a quick hug, she said, “I’m so sorry for not putting you first.”
And then my own guilt hit. Did I really expect my friend to give up the one thing she’d finally found? She was happy in spite of her own recent drama. She’d had enough to deal with and she and Dec were helping each other overcome all their hurdles. I couldn’t be selfish and expect her to take me in and give up her happiness to babysit me because I was too chicken to face my apartment and be alone.
No. I wouldn’t do that to her. I needed to do the one thing I knew I’d regret.
“Actually, don’t apologize. I’m the one who should be doing that to you.” Through gritted teeth and with muscles in my neck wound so tightly they caused pain, I stuttered, “I’ll move in with Viper, only until I can stand to be on my own.”
Her expression became one of concerned horror. “But what about before? You balking at me even suggesting the idea?”
Sinking back into the pillow, I glanced away. “I don’t like it. I don’t. But I also don’t want you kicking Dec out because of me. You’ve only just found your Prince Charming. I mean it. I’ll be fine. After a week I’ll be working again, and I’ll only have to see him at night. It won’t be that bad, right?”
If she saw through my lie, she didn’t say anything. A grin formed on her face and her eyes twinkled. “I’ll come visit often too, I promise. Viper will protect you, don’t worry. You’ll be safe with him.”
I might be safe physically, but mentally could be a whole other story.
“Does Viper even know of your absurd plan?”
“I kind of ran it by him and Dec before coming here.”
Of course she did. She had it all figured out. “And? I bet he wasn’t too happy.”
Reaching for the glass of water off the side table, she handed it to me without thinking. Her nurse instincts were never far from the surface. Taking the glass, I sipped, enjoying the liquid on my dry lips. ‘
“Let’s just say, he agreed.”
Right. After much arguing. I’d bet a week’s wages on it.
“I don’t know about this, Mac. I hardly know the guy.”
“You’ll be fine. He’s sweet when you get to know him.”
That may all be well and good, but the guy hated me, and while hate was a very strong
word, he wasn’t high on my friend’s list. What had I done?
“Give it a few days. If you still decide you don’t want to be there, I’ll pick you up and take you to my place like I suggested.”
Taking a deep grounding breath, I nodded, happy to have an out if I needed one.
I placed the glass back. “Thanks for staying the night, Mac. You really should have gone home. That chair over there does not look comfortable.”
“And leave you scared and vulnerable? I couldn’t do that to you. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
I knew she meant it. She’d proved it many times. I was so grateful to have her in my life.
“Thank you. It means a lot.”
***
After Mac left to go to my apartment and pack some things for me, I had my scan and got the all clear to leave, thankfully. Mac returned with my overnight bag and keys. With pain meds in hand, we made our way to Mac’s Mustang. My head still pounded, but it was to be expected after the blow I took. I felt naked without my purse and cell. I’d need to cancel my credit cards. The assholes who assaulted me had probably already run up a huge bill. Plus, I’d need to get a new phone. Luckily it was always kept locked, so the thugs couldn’t access anything.
Nerves stirred in my belly at the notion of seeing Viper again, let alone living with him short-term. We’d tear each other’s heads off. In which case, I’d be moving in with Mac and Dec and ignoring whatever sounds came from their bedroom. I could do that, right? Ugh. Couldn’t they just abstain while I was there? I knew Dec had a high sex drive from my friend’s colorful descriptions, but I mean, come on.
“You okay?” Mac asked, stealing my vision.
Pulling in to a modestly kept suburban home, shivers dotted my arms and legs. My gut roiled further. Handing the driver the twenty Mac had left for me, I exited.
Before my door had shut, the automatic garage door began rising, revealing Viper’s truck.
My heart ratcheted up a notch, and suddenly I felt as if it was my first day in foster care.
The next thing I spotted was a pair of bare feet, denim-clad legs, followed by the overwhelming sight of a bare torso, twisting as Viper threw on a tee. Damn. I didn’t want to look or like his worked abs of corrugated iron. Or the black tattoo which almost resembled a tribal emblem that drove upward from his groin to someplace north.
His heavy strides broke my haze as he thundered forward to embrace Mac fully. “Hey you, yourself! Good to see you. How’s the douchebag?”
Perhaps I wasn’t the only one he was a dick to. Perhaps that was just his normal way with people. He sure seemed to like calling his best friend names.
On guard, I watched silently as they greeted each other before Mac turned to me and then back to Viper. He hadn’t given me an ounce of his time so far but finally acknowledged my presence.
“Red.”
That was it?
Already my blood heated. Turning on my heels, I pulled open the driver’s door of the Mustang and released the trunk lever, slamming the door and moving to grab my bags.
Attempting to drag it out, I struggled, wondering what Mac had put in it.
A second later, I was knocked aside as large arms came into focus beside me, easily lifting the suitcase out as if it weighed no more than an ounce.
“I could have grabbed it.” I huffed, steadying myself again.
“You’ve just come from the hospital. I got it.” Closing the trunk, he began walking inside, leaving Mac and me with no option but to follow.
The interior of his house surprised me. I didn’t know what I’d expected, but neatness and order hadn’t been it for a male living on his own. Then again, he was a soldier, so I guess he’d had it drummed into him since joining the military. Impressed, I moved further into the living room, not sure what to do next.
Viper strolled down the hallway with my case, calling out, “You coming to see where your room is?”
Siding a peek at Mac, I could have punched the smile off her face. Smugness didn’t become her. Huffing as I walked past her, I followed Viper’s voice down the end of the hallway to a small room on the right.
With a double bed sitting against the middle of the right wall, the space lessened considerably. A timber wardrobe sat just inside the door to the left with clothing drawers opposite the bed. Apart from that, the beige colored room held no feeling of comfort. Reminding myself I would only be occupying it a short time, I held my place in the doorway with Mac at my heels.
Viper placed my suitcase on the edge of the bed. He appeared as unsettled as I was.
Seeking my gaze before settling on the carpet he mumbled, “Towels are in the hall cupboard. Bathroom is the first door on the right.”
It was the nicest thing I had heard from him, even if it had felt forced.
“Thanks,” I grumbled back, moving aside to let him out the door when he began moving toward me.
“Okay. That’s settled then. Will you be okay, Char? Is there anything you need before I leave?”
A knot formed in my throat, disabling my ability to speak, so I simply shook my head.
When she padded away, I moved with her, wishing she could stay a while longer.
Fatigue had me needing a nap, but first I had to take some more meds to help ease the vise squeezing my head.
When I found the kitchen, I began searching the cupboards for a glass. I heard Mac speaking quietly to Viper before she came in and hugged me.
In a quiet voice, she said, “Call me if you need me.”
“Okay.” Squeezing her for a moment too long, I let her go and swigged some water with three pills, hoping they’d knock me out for a week so I could leave and go to Mac’s.
When the click of the front door sounded, the quietness settled in. A hulk of a body appeared, seemingly out of his depth.
“Um, do you need anything? Are you hungry?”
Was I? Considering every time ‘said’ male came within three feet of me, causing my insides to knot up, I’d say no. But I’d only eaten the hospital breakfast and knew I needed to keep my strength up. That’s what I’d have told any of my patients on returning home after an injury.
“Yeah, actually, that would be nice.”
Were we actually having a conversation without tearing into each other? I’d never have thought it possible. Maybe he was trying now that he had no choice.
Easing around the kitchen fluidly, I watched as he opened the freezer and pulled out some chicken, and then squatted to the chiller section in the bottom of the fridge and loaded up his arms with fresh vegetables.
Wow. Impressive. A man who knew his way around a kitchen and who appeared to be able to cook.
“Chicken stir-fry okay?” His arms bulged as he placed the veggies down on the bench beside the cutting board.
“Sounds good. I…uh…didn’t know you could cook.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Red. I’ve been on my own a while. It’s a case of having to. Wine?”
Catching me off guard by his sudden politeness, I stammered, “Y…yes.” Who was this man? Had I judged him too soon?
His eyes lifted to mine at my faltering, but he remained silent, lifting a bottle of red wine from the fridge while getting two glasses out of another cupboard with one hand. Placing mine down on the counter, he ordered, “Sit.”
His head nodded to the chair at the small wooden kitchen table, so I complied, still in a daze, and surprised that I felt mildly comfortable.
Knowing wine and pain meds weren’t a good combination, but needing something to distract me from the multi-faceted male pouring my drink, I took a large swig when he’d finished, loving the taste.
Viper sipped at his own drink while he set about preparing an early dinner. My watch read four thirty p.m. Early for me, considering I normally didn’t eat until around seven thirty, depending on when I got home from work.
Viper turned from the stove as I tried to cover a big yawn. “Am I keeping you up?”
He could
keep me up anytime, my damn brain silently said to me.
“I won’t lie. I’m beat. I’ll probably just eat, shower, and go to bed.”
“Whatever you need to get better.”
Spinning back to the pan, my eyes traced the curve of his shoulders and back, down further to his molded ass. He filled out a pair of jeans like a man should. The denim clung to his cheeks perfectly, and by God, I almost choked on a swallow. The proportions of the man had been crafted by the Chief Upstairs himself, without a doubt. My naughty mind, spurred on by another giant swig of wine and the painkillers, had me imagining that ass above me, all clenched and sweaty.
“Staring is rude, you know!” came his bark, causing me to jump. He still hadn’t turned around, so I decided to act dumb.
“What? I’m not even looking your way.”
“Uh huh! Lie all you want. I could feel your eyes burning a hole in my back.”
Holy shit! Was he psychic too? Psycho, definitely.
The arm holding the wooden stirring spoon flexed as he gripped the handle tightly.
The air thickened and I suddenly needed to escape.
“I’m just gonna go take that shower. Leave my dinner on the table.”
Getting up and practically running down the hallway to my room, I pulled a tank and some sleep shorts from my bag and quickly locked myself in the bathroom, breathing way too heavily for someone who hated the male in the kitchen.
Stripping, I stared at my reflection, the woman peering back changed. I’d never be the same again after having a gun at my head. The realization of how quickly everything could be taken away at the hands of strangers made tears well. I felt wrung out. On a giant sob, I stripped and stepped into the shower, turning on the faucets and feeling the sting of the cold water stab at my skin like daggers, but not caring because the pain inside cut me worse.
A wail left me as my back slid down the tiles until I sat on the shower floor, knees bent. The warmth from the hot tap came through, but it may as well have remained cold because all I could feel was the barrel of a gun, probably loaded, ready to blow my brains out. One flinch or itchy finger could have ended it all for me. I’d now be lying in a morgue.
True Beginnings (The Lost and Found Series Book 3) Page 5