by P. Mattern
After a time, my Prince rose and called for his guard. Six of his best men responded, and he led them outside of his chambers to give them instructions. I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but I assumed that he had asked them to seize Seth.
I braced myself for what promised to be an ugly exchange that would take place, a ‘he said/ she said’ situation in which I would have to convince the Prince that I had been wronged.
I knew that if I attempted to keep the entire thing quiet it would backfire on me in ways I couldn’t anticipate, and having that ugliness hang over me as I married, gave birth and became a new mother would ruin my happiness for eternity.
I had no desire to come completely clean. I was in control of my emotions now. I had no desire to see Oliver’s life ruined by our affair, and especially wanted to avoid wounding the Prince. If you think I was only concerned with saving my own neck you would be wrong. I DID want to tell the entire truth, but the cost was too great. I would keep to the lie that nothing had ever happened between Oliver and I for one reason.
I could NOT let Seth win.
Confession might be good for the soul, but when the cost was counted it came at much too high a price, not just for me but for the two men that I loved more than anyone. In exchange I was willing to live with a lie that would remain like a permanent splinter ledged in my heart for as long as I existed, and a permanent reminder that I had nearly lost my one chance at permanent happiness.
And so I waited, fitfully. In my mind I was preparing to do battle, waiting for the Prince and his Guard to return with Seth.
I paced for hours, finally collapsing into an armchair in front of the blazing fire, and awakened to the sound of boots tromping across the flagstone floor.
The first thing I noticed was that there was no Seth. The Guard turned after following the Prince, leaving him alone with me. I stared up at him, sitting up, unable to read the look in his eyes. Had he come to take me away to the dungeons again? Would I be chained naked against the wall until I finally gave birth, and then beheaded like Princess Eulalie?
Still not having uttered a word, he handed me something.
The recorder. I could see that it had a tape in it.
I couldn’t speak, and we stared at each other.
“I had Seth flogged until he confessed everything,” he told me in a serious tone, “We tortured him until he confessed to us where he’d hidden the tape. He said terrible things about you at first, and then he recanted everything he had said and begged for mercy. He will be banished from our kingdom.
I know that you are wondering if I listened to it. I did not. You are free to do with it as you will Tristina. But I think there is something you should know…”
He knelt beside me, and even though he was wearing one of his warrior masks, black and silver with silver horns on each corner, I could see that his eyes were moist.
“I am a terribly jealous and possessive male. It is my nature and I cannot apologize for it. For the most part I am able to dismiss Seth’s accusations as vile lies…
But there is still a part of me that has always known what you and I have never spoken about. I know Oliver has always loved you, Tristina—I would have to be blind not to have noticed the light that comes into his eyes when you enter a room. I believe he will always love you more than any female in Svalbard, though we go forward a thousand years. Because I know this, I am going to order a paternity test for the child you carry, though I realize you may be insulted. It is the only way I can finally put all fear and suspicion to rest within my soul on this matter.
I know you may hate me, but that is my decision. They will take a sample of the amniotic fluid and run DNA tests tomorrow. Until the test results are back I will not sleep with you. I am wretched at the thought of hurting you, but as your husband and Prince I must know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the child you are carrying is mine.”
He rose stiffly and turned, without ever touching me. Though our proximity was such that I could have risen myself and thrown my arms around him, there was a gulf of doubt between us that was too wide to cross. He didn’t tell me anything of the consequence if the baby were discovered not to be his. I think he knew I was already acquainted with the harsh way female adulterers were dealt with in the Royal family.
“I bid you good night. Vampire Princess” He said as he turned. I watched him leave. It seemed to me that his proud shoulders were slumped slightly, whether in despair or disillusionment I did not know.
I didn’t cry. I was past all that now. I tossed the entire recorder into the fireplace, watched as it melted away and fell asleep staring into the flickering tongues of flame as they greedily licked at the logs. Once again I had made a decision, and now the Fates would decide the outcome.
The next day I was escorted to Medical, and prepped for amniocentesis. I tried not to look as they exposed my belly, by now huge, and I looked away before I could actually see the grotesquely long needle they were using to take a sample of the amniotic fluid. I didn’t feel it when they plunged it in, and they were carefully following its trajectory through ultrasound imaging.
“Oh my,” the new Royal Physician said, “Your son seems not to like anyone disturbing his swimming pool. He is kicking at the flexible needle!”
In spite of the circumstances my heart lifted in joy. I was carrying a son! I could feel happy tears streaming from the sides of my eyes. I prayed that everything would go as planned and that I would survive to be his mother.
I would have thought that I would be worried sick after the testing, but for some reason it was quite the opposite. I was actually relieved. I still believed that I had made the right choice to bust Seth, and though my future was on the line, it gave me solace to know that I had confessed as much as I needed to in order to make sure Seth could not blackmail me forever.
Theda came for tea. One look at her face told me that she knew something of what was going on. That made sense, because her husband was often in charge of the torture of those found disloyal to the Royals. Still, out of consideration for me, she didn’t broach the subject. She just hugged me a lot and distracted me and made me laugh as she always did.
She was a good friend. I hoped we would remain so, and that she would not soon be mourning me.
Oliver was absent, and this was no surprise. I knew that until the cloud of suspicion that hovered over both of us was dispelled that I would not see him.
It felt lonely to be without both Oliver, my best male friend, and the Prince at the same time. I vowed that if I got through my current crisis I would never take either of them for granted again.
Days passed. Finally one morning I was awakened gently by maid servants. There were more than usual, and they told me that I had been summoned to the Prince’s Chambers. I was bathed, fussed over, coiffed and I had a new gown to wear, one with more room in the front for my expanding belly. I had gotten big enough to feel awkwardly off balance, and was glad that I had so much help to get ready for my meeting with the Prince.
I walked along the corridor with my entourage. It had been ten days since we had seen each other, and it had been the longest ten days of my life.
As I reached the doorway I stood stock still.
The room was literally filled with flowers. Dozens of pink and red and white roses, fragrant Calla lilies and other beautiful, more exotic kinds of flowers. Their perfume overwhelmed even the vast space of the chamber, and before I could gather my wits I was picked up and twirled around by the Prince.
He was laughing. As soon as he set me on my feet he covered my mouth with his, kissing me gently as though he understood that his absence and distrust had wounded me deeply. He dropped to his knees at my satin slippered feet.
“Tristina my love, can you ever forgive me?” he asked.
I was crying so hard from gratitude and relief that I could hardly answer.
“Of course,” I told him, ”And get up immediately! I will not have my husband on his knees to me!”
He s
miled a secretive smile, and reaching into the inside pocket of his silk vest, produced a ring with a huge pink stone.
“Tristina, Vampire Princess, will you marry me? Today, right this moment? I cannot wait a single second for you to be my lawful wife, and for our child to be born into a sacred and royal union!”
As he slipped the huge pink diamond onto my finger I gasped at its sheer beauty. Pink was my favorite color, and I had never seen a pink diamond. It was the most gorgeous thing I had ever set eyes on.
He stood finally and we were joined by a priest wearing ornately embroidered robes. I hardly noticed what he was saying , and had to be prompted to say ,”I do!” I said it so loudly that the witnesses were chuckling, and looking around I noticed with a glad heart that Theda and Oliver and his wife Deborah and many other court favorites, including his parents, were in attendance.
There was an impromptu feast, and dancing, and later, I experienced the sweetest love that the Prince had ever made to me. I felt that he was worshipping every inch of my immortal body with his own immortal one. I felt that I was redeemed and also forgiven.
More than anything, I felt that I had permission to forgive myself.
THE VAULTED SKY
Alexander Arkyn Stellan was born less than 5 weeks later. He was huge, even by Cliff dweller Vampire standards, weighing nearly nine pounds and emerging with a hearty cry that, I am told, could be heard echoing down the corridors outside the delivery room in both directions.
Holding him in my arms was at once my happiest and most proud moment. The Prince was the happiest I had ever seen him, and strutted around holding his son and talking to him as if baby Alexi( our nickname for him) could understand each and every word.
Theda’s son was named Erik Bjorn Alexander , his second middle name after the Prince. He would be called E.B. as a nickname, and also, much later after a battle that would come many years into our futures together, ‘Bjorn the Invincible’ for his heroic efforts as he served under his Commander and our son, Alexander.
Deborah and Oliver had a girl, and they named her Victoria Tristina. I often wondered if Deborah had resented her husband naming their daughter after me, but she seemed happy that I was the little girl’s Godparent, and I considered it an honor. I knew that Oliver and I would always have a bond stronger than Immortality.
That was why I was surprised, when baby Alexander was only four months old, that he showed up unannounced in the doorway of the Nursery. The Prince was out scouting, and Oliver had long ceased to be either my Whipping Boy or my Personal Royal Guard.
I was delighted to see him, and I would have gotten up except for the fact that I was still nursing Alexander. The baby was a voracious eater, and my nipples were constantly sore from his vigorous nursing. I was looking forward to the dietary change that I knew was coming, when he would begin eating mashed foods and bottled filled to the brim with blood from the human females in our ‘herd’.
The Bloodsisters that fed children of the Royals and Nobles were fed a special diet so that their blood was rich in nutrients, the finest to be found in the kingdom. My Prince often visited their quarters and sampled them himself, ostensibly to make sure their blood was still of the finest quality.
I never minded—he was a vampire after all.
Oliver came over and began talking to the baby, smoothing the baby’s golden topknot of curls.
“How is Victoria?” I asked.
“Still the most beautiful baby in this kingdom or any other,” Oliver assured me with a wink and a note of pride in his voice, “And how are you Princess Tristina?”
“Wonderful,” I told him, ”How long do Royals nurse their babies Oliver? Do you happen to know? I would ask myself but I don’t want…don’t want…”
Oliver winked at me. He still knew me better than anyone.
“You don’t want them to know you want your freedom and your body back,” he chuckled,” Well I hate to tell you, but usually babies are breastfed for a year, unless…”
I perked up to hear there might be an exception.”Unless?” I prompted.
“Unless the mother becomes pregnant again,” Oliver finished, his smile growing wider, ”Then you get a nine month break, Princess.”
I put on an exaggerated pout for his amusement, then suddenly realized I didn’t know why he was there.
“What’s going on Oliver?” I asked, ”I am happy to see you, of course, but I am sure there is a reason.”
His eyes clouded over for a moment.
“I am troubled and I didn’t know who else might understand. I am missing my best friend, Tristina. You will always have a place in my heart, and I believe I will always have a place in yours.”
“That is true,” I agreed as I stood up, detached my now sleeping son from my nipple and laid him gently in his crib,” What is troubling you, bff?”
He seemed to relax as he followed me over to one of the overstuffed couches. Unlike other furniture in the Silo it was upholstered in cartoon animals and Norwegian nursery rhymes. Just before he joined me he closed the door to the nursery.
“I have had an audience with the Chief Oracle,” Oliver told me, his grey eyes several shades deeper, ” The Prince sent me to ask for some insight on the Ice Monsters, and when the next attack will be. He thought it might help with our preparedness. And , of course, now that he has started a family, security is on his mind as never before.”
“That is perfectly understandable,” I told him, relaxing back against the cushions at one end of the couch ,”What did the Oracle tell you that has you concerned?”
“Two things really, and you mustn’t breathe a word concerning either of them. First, the Monsters are already preparing for another attack. This one will be on the Northern Side, which means they are aware of our underground facilities and are hoping to breach them. That will mean that when the alarms go off there is only one option left. All the Royals and their families will be taken to the Hedge.
“The Hedge?” I asked,” What is it and why haven’t I ever heard of it?” I wanted to know.
“It is classified,” Oliver told me ,”Oh—I see you are laughing! Yes we have our own intelligence going on Miz Earth Belly—you needn’t make fun!”
“I’m sorry,” I said ,”I know that. I am just teasing, Oliver. You forget that I have come eye to eye with an Ice Giant. I know full well that we live under constant threat from these creatures that have roamed the frozen plains long before men and perhaps even before the first Vampire set foot on them.”
“Apology accepted. The Hedge is the most underground portion of the Silo. It is much smaller than the Caverns under the Citadel, and not as comfortable. From there, if you have a map you can travel underground to the Ice Palace Tristina. It is basically an escape route. There is a portal there also, but where one would end up if they dared to enter it has long been forgotten.”
“And what is the second thing? What else is upsetting you my friend?” I asked.
His handsome face fell. In spite of a permanent scar on his left cheek that he had gotten during the last skirmish with the monsters because he was a dhampyr, and having become more muscular, he still looked exactly as he had when we first met.
“The Oracle told me that I will perish in battle. His vision saw me leading a charge and being struck down, disemboweled by a Gorgon headed Monster that is in reality a Nokken, or shape shifter. He saw me falling down into one of the Ice Abysses, shouting as I fell.
I was silent. I didn’t know how to respond.
“Tristina I am afraid. I feel in my gut that the Oracle may be right, and for the first time since I have been fighting with the Prince I feel afraid. I am as dedicated to preserving the Kingdom as I have always been . But now I have more to lose.
If anything should happen to me, I know that you will help Deborah care for my daughter as if she were your own. I am at peace with that. But there is one dream of mine that sits unfulfilled in the secret chambers of my heart, and it is a wish that only you can grant me.
I don’t dare to say the words to you, so I have written them down for your eyes alone to see.”
He reached into an inside pocket of his cloak and drew out a tiny rolled piece of paper, handing it to me. I noticed his hand was trembling, and he lowered his eyes as I unrolled it, my heart thumping wildly. The words written there confirmed my suspicions, and I was overwhelmed with a déjà vu feeling that everywhere I roamed on my journey through life, I would inevitably return to the same point until I yielded to the Fates.
I rolled the tiny paper back up. Placing it in my mouth, I chewed and swallowed it, looking into his eyes as I began to unfasten my gown.
The Monsters did attack, just as the Oracle predicted.
It was Spring by then, going into our summer, and the ground had grown soft and was starting to yield up Mother Nature’s bounty of greens and berries. Oliver had fallen into a bottomless ice fissure, but the Prince had commissioned and erected a remarkable full sized likeness of him on the Eastern slope of the castle, in a terraced spot flanked my massive stones. His statue was handsome and regal and portrayed him with his right hand open and extended. The legend on the base of the statue read, ”Generous and Loved by All, Fierce Protector of Our Kingdom “.
I held Deborah’s hand as she sobbed, realizing that she was by far the better woman—she had loved Oliver with her whole heart-- even knowing that he would always love me.
I was, by comparison, selfish and impulsive. But Love had taught me many painful lessons and I had learned them at a cost. Most importantly, I had learned that love inevitably involves sacrifice.
It was an afternoon for tears and quiet reflection. As I placed little Prince Alexander in his crib and joined the Prince in bed, he gathered me up in his arms like a bunch of flowers, inhaling the fragrance of my hair.