I had written a page or two about my mum’s death – the basic story, the outline of events that led to her hospitalisation on New Year’s Day in 1984 and her death two days later. My enlightened and incredibly supportive PhD supervisor, Catherine Cole, suggested I try and write in third person, even fictionalise the characters. It turned out I wasn’t able to write (honestly) about the experience of it, and the feelings associated with it, until I moved it to third person when I called Valerie ‘Rose’ and I became ‘Cassie’.
Through writing, fiction and nonfiction, I have attempted to understand my past and that of my community. I have wanted to know why some people survive grief and trauma and some don’t. Why some don’t ever make it out of the darkness and why some are cursed with misfortune and illness all their lives. I am often reminded of Toni Morrison’s Beloved and the fictional character Paul D who asks:
‘Tell me this one thing. How much is a nigger supposed to take? Tell me. How much?’
‘All he can,’ Stamp Paid said. ‘All he can.’
When I read over that book again and those observations, I thought of Margaret and her scribbling in her diary, her talk of ‘feeling too tired to face another day, fed up with trying’. She, too, had just about taken all she could.
At times fictionalising real events and real people freed me and my writing before I could return to the truth and another draft of my memoir.
As Ernest Hemingway reminds us, writing must always be ‘truer than true’.
Acknowledgements
I am very grateful for the wonderful support I have had from my large extended Egan and van de Pol families and my friends over many years.
To my siblings, Paul, Tom, Andrew, Seamus, John and Matthew, who gave me their stories and their blessing. And to my ‘surrogate’ brothers, Maurice and Nick Gleeson, who trusted me with their memories.
To my mentor and friend, Catherine Cole, who helped bring my memories to life and guided me to my PhD at Wollongong University.
To those who read early drafts and made valuable suggestions, especially my friend and colleague, Vicki Hatton, who gently persuaded me with her insights to return to this book. And thanks to Richie Barker, Patti Green, Olivia Guntarik, Rose Michael, Pip Newling, Julie Sullivan and Helen Williams for reading, asking questions and encouraging.
To my colleagues at RMIT and Deakin Universities, across the disciplines of public relations, creative writing and journalism, thank you for your support and enthusiasm.
To Peter Bishop, the late Mick Dark and other wonderful mentors at Varuna, The Writers’ House, thank you for the fellowships and a safe place to write.
To the creative team at Ventura Press, Jane Curry, Zoe Hale, Eleanor Reader and Elizabeth Hardy: your collaborative approach made the experience of publishing a joy.
To ‘the girls’ – from my primary school in Dallas, from my secondary ladies’ college in Glenroy and from my boarding school in Ballarat – thank you for helping to shape these stories by listening again and again, as if it was the first time.
To ‘my boys’ – James, William and Daniel. Thank you for the way you managed life with a crazy, scribbling and sometimes distracted mother, and thanks for working through clipped pages of rough drafts.
To my husband Jon, my solid rock, who read and reread – and commented – until I promised it was the final draft. Thank you. And now, let’s have some fun.
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Caroline’s neighbour and childhood friend Nick Gleeson, featured in Back to Broady, shares his own remarkable story of growing up blind in Broadmeadows in The Many Ways of Seeing.
When Nick meets co-author Peter Bishop in the lounge room of Varuna, the Writers’ House, he has led an amazing life of physical adventuring, including scaling basecamp at Everest, climbing the summit of Kilimanjaro, and an expedition to the Simpson Desert.
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The Many Ways of Seeing is available in all good bookstores.
Back to Broady Page 22