by NJ Cole
I called and texted my father relentlessly, asking how she was doing. He would only give me simple answers. She was “fine.” I wanted to demand more, but I knew if I got too pushy, he wouldn’t respond at all.
I was still having a difficult time processing everything. I didn’t understand her leaving the pill. I understood her not wanting to take it and wanting to keep the child, but that was impossible. Her leaving me was only delaying the inevitable anyway. I’d planned on her taking the tablet and holding her all night, just kissing her while it took effect. It was the hardest decision I’d ever made, and the thought that the same thing was happening now—that my child’s life was ending and the woman I loved was all alone—was a pain I didn’t think I’d even live though.
After she’d been gone two days, I assumed that all of my effects had worn off and she was back to her human state. She’d be warm and fragile. Her skin would be soft, and she’d bruise again. It no longer turned me on; it worried me. And when I thought of her skin, I thought of her mark…how it would have faded by now. The thought of it being gone made me ill, and though I didn’t sleep, I lay in bed for hours.
I went to work in the hopes that at least Sydney or Shane would come in so I could pump them for information if they’d seen her. No one showed up.
The weekend was hell, and when Sunday rolled around, I tried to resist the urge to go to my parents’ for brunch. I knew she’d be there. I wanted to see her, to kiss her, to mourn our child together. Finally giving into temptation, I headed toward their house. I just needed to make sure she was alright.
I figured they’d be inside eating, and all I really needed was a glimpse of her. My thought was that if I could just see her face, see that she was okay, alive, healthy, and that she’d survived the miscarriage, I’d be alright. It wasn’t that I thought I’d get over her—I knew I never would—but maybe, once she had healed, she’d allow me back into her life in some way. Even if she didn’t want to be my submissive, I held out hope that we could have some sort of a relationship.
I parked down the road and decided to just walk along the beach. The plan was to get just close enough to the house to see her and then go, but I was surprised when I came around the bend and saw Shane skipping rocks across the lake.
“Oliver?” he asked in surprise before quickly looking behind him. I wondered if Bec had just been there. “What are you doing here?”
“I don’t want to make trouble, Shane. I just need to make sure she’s alright. Have you seen her?”
“Yes I’ve seen her and she’s…”
I interrupted him. “Don’t say fine. I can’t take it if I hear fine one more time.”
Shane sighed. “But she is fine.”
“What does that even mean? Fine. Is she happy? Angry? Does she hate me? Does she even mention me? Is she ill?” I stared at him, waiting for an answer but he was silent. “Come on, Shane. Say something!”
“Okay!” he groaned, giving in. “She’s tired a lot and she’s sad, alright? She hasn’t really said much. Look, I don’t feel right talking about her.”
I understood his reluctance , but he had to get how worried I was. “I don’t mean to put you in a bad position, but I’m just so worried. How is she doing physically?” That was my biggest concern—the miscarriage. I couldn’t even say the words aloud. “Did it, you know, go alright?”
He looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about. Before he could say anything, his phone went off. He’d gotten a text, and whatever it said had him looking at me with fear. What was it? What would he be afraid to tell me? The answer hit me like a ton of bricks—bad news about Bec. “What is it?” I asked, my voice cracking.
“It’s…just…I have to go…”
I grabbed his arm. “Where are you going? What the fuck is going on?”
“Nothing…” he said quietly, looking away. “Don’t be mad at me, Bro, it’s just that it’s my turn to give Bec my stuff.”
“Your stuff?” I asked in confusion.
“You know, so she can stay Bocaj.” Clearly I looked even more confused and then, just when it clicked as to what he meant by ‘his stuff’, he said it aloud. “She needs my stuff…my come.”
I lost it. There really is no other way to describe what happened; I lost all grip on reality. Lunging at him, I knocked him to the sand with a thud. My left hand wrapped around his throat while my right hand began punching his face. “YOU FUCKING GAVE HER YOUR COME?” I screamed at him, enunciating each blow.
His hands were locked around my throat, as well, and he was trying to push me off of him. “Get the fuck off of me, Oliver!” he growled, his fangs starting to show.
“How could you? She’s my fucking mate!” I shouted, the two of us rolling over in the sand and him breaking free of me.
“What was I suppose to do?” he responded, jumping to his feet. I remained in the crouching position, running my tongue over my pronounced fangs while he continued speaking. “She came to us asking for it. And like Gabriel said, if he, Caleb, and I didn’t give her our come, she would have gone looking for it from someone else.”
I lunged again and my fangs sunk into his neck. I knew that my toxin would have little to no effect, though. As Bocaj, we were nearly immune to our own toxin. Even during the mating ritual, it only rendered the females immobile if the bite was placed in the mating mark, and then only for a few minutes. For Shane, it just seemed to anger him. He lunged back, biting me on my right pectoral muscle. I screamed out in rage. The toxin burned but did little to deter me. We continued to wrestle on the beach, landing punches and sinking our fangs into each other until I felt a strong forearm around my neck and a set of hands grabbing my elbows, hauling me off of Shane. It didn’t matter, I let them because when I saw who it was, I wanted to go for them, too.
Gabriel and Sydney were pinning Shane down, which meant that it must be Payton and Caleb who had me. I wanted to fucking kill every one of them who had fucked my girl.
I glared at Gabriel, who was looking from Shane to me in astonishment. Shane looked bad. He had cuts and scrapes from where I’d punched him, his skin was torn from the bite marks, and the sand was stuck to the clear fluid that served as our blood which oozed from several of his wounds.
I assumed I looked worse. The fluid dripped from over my brow and onto my cheek. More ran down my chest onto my abdomen from the place Shane had bitten me. My shirt had been torn clean off. My fangs were still out and I was growling.
“How could you?” I snarled at my father, lunging though Payton and Caleb held me back. Instinct had his own hair rise and his fangs elongate. “She came here for help and you fucked her? My mate? My butterfly?” At my accusation, his demeanor changed. His expression softened and his fangs retracted.
“What? Son, no. No one touched your butterfly. Is that what you think?” he asked calmly, which only irritated me further.
“Shane told me you were giving her your come,” I growled through clenched teeth.
“Yes, because she asked for it. But we didn’t touch her. We gave it intravenously.”
When his words registered, my muscles relaxed. The relief that washed over my body was instantaneous, and I was filled with emotions I wasn’t sure how to deal with. I felt simultaneous joy and sorrow. I was elated, yet I wanted to cry.
I looked at Shane on the ground rubbing his jaw. “So you never fucked her?” I asked, my voice now much calmer.
“No, Bro. Do you think I’m insane?” he questioned, brushing himself off and standing up.
I closed my eyes and ran my hand through my hair. “Fuck…fuck…fuck! I’m so sorry, Shane. It’s just that when you said you had to go and give Bec your come, I lost it.”
Sydney rounded on him. “You told him you had to go give her your come! You said it like that?” She was shouting and poking at his chest. “It’s no wonder he attacked you. You are an idiot!”
“Well, I said…stuff, but, uh yeah,” Shane said, backing up and away from Sydney.
It was a dumb choice of words, but I still felt awful for what I did to him. “I really am sorry, man. I’ll make it up to you, and I didn’t mean to cause a problem. I just wanted to see her, to see for myself that she was alright.” I turned to Gabriel. “I know that you keep saying she’s fine, but I just can’t see how she’s fine when I’m barely able to function.”
“You do look like shit,” Payton said, moving around from behind me.
“I haven’t eaten anything or gone out in the sun since before Bec left, and obviously I haven’t fed from her. I’m exhausted and weak.”
“Why don’t you come inside and have some brunch,” Gabriel started to say, but I shook my head, cutting him off.
“No, you were right. I shouldn’t be here. Bec came here to get away from me, and I don’t want to upset her.”
“Come in for a quick bite to eat. You can use the tanning bed if you want, as well. Bec should be asleep for another hour at least. She always sleeps for a while after we run the IV.” That didn’t sound right at all. Bec always had the most energy right after she fed from me or we had intercourse.
The food sounded great and so did the ultraviolet machine, but the main reason I accepted the invitation to brunch was to that I could talk to everyone about Bec a bit more.
As we walked up to the house, I questioned Gabriel about why she was sleeping after she received the come. “Are you sure she’ll be asleep? Does she sleep a lot?”
He nodded. “An hour or two every five. I’m not really comfortable talking about her with you, Oliver. I know you are very concerned for her, but I feel like I’m talking about her behind her back.”
I knew what he meant because I felt bad about it, too. “It’s alright, I understand. Just one more quick question. She’s eating, right?”
“Yes, she’s eating. Now you eat, then get some sun.”
I drank some of my mother’s egg mixture and walked down the hall toward where the UV machine was. I had no intention of disturbing Bec’s sleep, but the door to her room was open and I couldn’t resist the urge to peek in at her. Her eyes were closed, but the moment I stuck my head in the door they opened.
“Oliver?” she asked, sitting up slowly.
“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be here and I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’m just not feeling well. I’m going to use the ultraviolet machine, then I’ll go. I’m so sorry.” I turned to go, embarrassed I’d been caught checking on her.
“You’re not feeling well?” she questioned, stopping me.
“I’m fine, just a bit weak. I haven’t eaten or gotten sun since you…well, in a while.” I thought about the last time we’d been together and how we’d fed from each other.
“Oh,” she said, looking down and very submissive. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you any problems.”
“Babygirl,” I said, walking toward her without thinking, “you didn’t cause me any problems. I was just worried about you.” I looked at the IV in her arm and touched the place it went into her hand. “I’m still worried about you.”
She stared at my hand on hers. “I’m sorry about that. I know you’re upset that I didn’t do as you asked.”
“I’m more upset that you left without talking to me—that you felt you couldn’t talk to me.” I squeezed her hand gently. “And I’m really upset that you took off your collar and aren’t my butterfly anymore.” I wasn’t looking at her, but I heard her sniff and knew she was crying. “What I’m most upset about, though,” I confessed, “is that you don’t want to be my mate any longer.”
“Who said I don’t want to be your mate?” she asked softly. I looked up at her. “I will always want to be your mate, I just thought that since I didn’t obey you, I couldn’t wear your collar, and that since I couldn’t wear your collar, you wouldn’t want me.”
“Wouldn’t want you? Bec, I want you with every fiber of my being.” Placing my hand under her chin, I lifted her head so that I could look into her eyes. “Collar or not, you are the only woman for me. I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I’ll want you for the rest of my life. I love you. I need you. You will always be my one and only—my mate. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, to be with you eternally.”
“Oliver, I want that, too.”
I brought my mouth to hers and kissed her gently at first. She whimpered and parted her lips, inviting my tongue to enter, and I accepted with eagerness. Continuing to hold her chin with one hand and moving my other hand to her hair to hold her head in place, I made love to her mouth with my own.
Her hands moved up my chest and around my neck. She pulled me closer to her, and I obliged, gently lying back onto the bed. As we kissed, my hands became reacquainted with her body. I ran them down her spine to the small of her back, then down her thigh and back up again. Softly, I ran my fingers over her hip and to her stomach. She stopped kissing me and pulled back.
“Are you? Is it?” I couldn’t bear to actually say the words.
She nodded. “I think so. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t take that pill. My parents were taken from me. I just couldn’t make a choice that would end a new family given to me.”
I pulled her to me. “Babygirl, I didn’t want to end the pregnancy either. I just don’t want to lose you. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want to lose you either,” she said in such a way that I was overcome with emotion and lust. Rolling on top of her, I crashed my lips onto hers. Her hands tugged at my shirt and I knew that she shared my same feelings.
I removed my pants and pulled off her top. I was being so careful of her IV that I didn’t notice it at first, but there it was, as bright as ever. “Your mark!” I gasped.
“Always,” she smiled. “It turns out it never goes away.” She unhooked the IV and wriggled out of her own pants.
I kissed her lips again and moved between her legs, positioning my cock at her entrance. It had only been a few days, but it felt like an eternity. I paused. “Is it safe? Are you strong enough for this?” I thought about the amount of my come that I’d given her before the first time we’d made love.
She smiled at me before wriggling a bit, teasing the tip of my cock with her pussy lips. “I’m tired, Oliver, not weak.” To prove her point, she squeezed my hand hard. Her strength wasn’t what it had been, but she was definitely stronger than a human. Still being careful, I slid forward, savoring every moment of her body gloving mine. She was the first to move, needing the friction. I wanted the moment to last, but having been days after being used to orgasming multiple times a day, I knew it would likely only be a few minute event. Especially with a body like Bec’s, looking into a face like hers and feeling like I did. Our fingers intertwined as I moved in and out of her carefully, pressing my forehead to hers and closing my eyes. Nothing had been more perfect.
Her whimpers and moans of contentment brought my balls closer to my body, and like I had predicted, I was spilling myself into her quickly. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” I chanted as I fed her body with my own.
“I love you, too,” she whispered, but the change in her was already evident. She appeared less tired, though she was looking at our interlaced hands—more specifically, the place where the IV went into her body. “I’m so sorry, Oliver. I never wanted to do this.”
“I know, Honey,” I said, kissing the tears that had started to fall.
“It’s not going to work, I can already tell. Each day I feel a little weaker.”
I felt a lump form in my throat. It was nothing that I didn’t already know. “Babygirl, I’m so sorry.”
She pulled me to her, and for the longest time we just held each other while she cried. I kissed her hair in attempt to comfort her, knowing that nothing I could say would help. I just needed to not let her go. Minutes or hours later, I felt her exhale and then her lips on my neck, then my chin, and finally my mouth. We kissed, and heaven help me, my cock, still nestled inside of her, hardened.
I moved slowly as we kissed, our lovemaking s
omehow different, more meaningful. “We can give him a chance,” she whispered onto my lips. “Let fate decide.”
I watched a few tears fall from her eyes, not knowing what she meant.
“If I were Bocaj…if I were Bocaj…” she sobbed, “the baby would have a chance, right?”
Her meaning finally clicked. It was risky, and there was no way of knowing if our child would make it or not. If we didn’t do it, there was no way it could survive, though. In some ways, the baby had nothing to lose. I kissed her lips once more before speaking. “I’m not sure what would happen, but I guess there is always a chance. Just please, please be prepared for the worst.” A strangled sob escaped her lips. “But know that we will have our lives together, no matter what.”
That made her smile as she looked up at me. “You’re right, and it’s all going to be fine. I just know it is. When we’re together, I feel like everything is going to be alright.”
I couldn’t help but smile back at her. She was so hopeful and positive. It was just one of the many things I loved about her. Her hips began to move again, teasing my cock, making it harder than ever. It was difficult to think when her body was doing that to mine. She was sweet and sexy at the same time. God I loved this woman.
Picking up the pace, I matched her movements with my thrusts. She grabbed onto me and raked her nails up my back until her hands were holding my head. “I want to be like you.”
“Yes, Babygirl, soon.” I thrust harder.
“No, now. Oliver, now.”
What was she saying? Did she still want Gabriel to change her today anyway?
“I’ll…ungh…” I said, trying to talk while thrusting harder and faster. “…talk to… Gabriel…soon…”
She shook her head, her hair fanning out on the pillow beneath her. “Not Gabriel…you. I want you to do it…now…right now…”