‘No. We have to leave them at work but maybe Libby could bring you into the station one day and I can show you all round it, if you like?’
Two small boys whipped their heads to me. ‘Can we, Auntie Libby? Please?’
‘I expect so. We’ll have to ask your mum and dad.’
They quickly turned to Matt and Maria. ‘Please! Can we?’
Let’s see how you behave this evening and I’ll think about it,’ said Matt.
Immediately the two sat up straighter and I had to turn my face away so that they couldn’t see me laughing. The conversation moved on and Alex gave Charlie a smile that had a hint of tightness to it.
‘Thanks, mate. Aston Martins and presents from Tiffany. Don’t set any high bars for me or anything, will you?’
23
Charlie didn’t say anything. His gaze flicked to me. I gently shook my head and gave a smile that felt awkward on my face.
Alex turned his hand and took mine within it. ‘Anyway, I might not have the flashy car, but I think I’m doing OK.’ His gaze lingered on my lips for a moment before he looked back at Charlie.
Charlie smiled, gave a brief nod and turned back to my dad, who began asking him about his house conversion. I studied him for a moment, the awkward smile still on my face. I knew it had never quite reached my eyes and I couldn’t say why. I shrugged the feeling off and listened as Amy told us about a spa weekend Marcus had just surprised her with.
Full of delicious food and even more delicious champagne, I leant my head on Alex’s shoulder. He bent his own to mine a little and whispered, ‘I love my job but I really, really wish I didn’t have to go to it this evening.’ Alex was on lates and, although I’d known he was going to have to leave early, I’d been doing my best to avoid thinking about it. And now, content with food and company, I wanted to avoid thinking about it even more.
‘I suppose it’s too late to get someone to cover for you?’ I said, not moving my head.
‘Afraid so. If I could, I would, believe me.’ His voice held the hint of a promise that sent a warm rush through my body. I smiled against him and I knew he felt it because he laughed softly and drew his fingers slowly over my hand.
‘Alex…’ I said, raising my head, ‘what if when you finish your shift—?’
‘Auntie Libby! Can we go and see the waves? Please!’
I turned and saw Alex’s face take on a blank expression. There went the moment. Again.
‘You can see them from here, boys,’ I said reasonably.
The entire front of the restaurant, perched high on the promenade, was plate-glass window.
‘It’s not the same!’ they countered. ‘And you always take us to see the waves on your birthday.’
I glanced over at Matt. He shrugged. ‘What can I say? If you will be their favourite auntie…’
I narrowed my eyes at him. He knew that I loved it when they declared I was their favourite and was now using it as a defence. Typical brother. I made to push my chair out. Alex looked at me.
‘It’s a tradition thing. I won’t be long.’
‘OK.’ He gave me a quick smile then glanced at his watch. I knew Alex hadn’t missed the fact that the boys had been intermittently climbing all over Charlie ever since we’d finished eating. They had, however, asked Alex some questions about being a policeman, which I took to be a good sign. They weren’t my children, but I spent a lot of time with them, so I was still aware of who I introduced into their lives. Charlie’s introduction had been a bit of an accident, but a happy one, it would seem, judging by the grins that all three of them wore as he now tickled them and they did their best not to squeal with laughter in the restaurant. I could see my dad and Gina exchanging looks that included me. The concept of me and a gorgeous, straight man who also got on with my family, but whom I wasn’t dating, was clearly doing their heads right in.
‘Do you want me to come?’ Alex asked.
In my peripheral vision, I saw two pairs of eyes fix on me.
‘Umm, it’s kind of a thing that the boys and I do alone. Like I say, tradition.’ I leaned into him. ‘Please don’t be offended.’
He gave me a quick smile. ‘I’m not. But I will have to go in a bit. Do you think you’ll be back?’
‘Of course.’ Quickly, I gave him a kiss and pushed my chair out, kicking off my four-inch heels as I did so. From my bag, I pulled a pair of fold-up ballet flats and slipped them on.
‘God, you are prepared, aren’t you?’ Alex raised an eyebrow.
‘Oh, she always carries them in there,’ Charlie piped up.
We both turned our heads to him, slightly astonished that he knew the regular contents of my handbag. The look on his face showed that he was just as surprised as we were to realise he had this knowledge.
‘I’ve no idea how or why I know that,’ he said, looking at his champagne glass as if that might give him the answer. ‘I have to admit, it’s slightly worrying that I do. I don’t think it’s very good for my image.’
Alex gave a laugh. ‘I’m pretty sure your image is just fine, mate. As usual. And if you start showing your feminine, understanding side too, the rest of us may as well hang up our boots, so at least give us a fighting chance, eh?’
Charlie snorted. ‘Oh, don’t worry. I’m not about to claim absolutely any understanding of women. Totally beyond my capabilities.’
‘Beyond any man’s, I think!’ Marcus chimed in.
Amy and I exchanged an eye-roll.
‘Come on then, pests. Let’s go and see these waves.’
Some quiet cheering was quickly followed by me finding a small boy attached to each hand. We walked down the stairs and across the beach. The soles of my shoes were thin so there followed some inelegant manoeuvring over the larger pebbles of the beach and I wished, not for the first time, that our local beach was covered in soft white sand instead. I shamelessly used the children as support devices until we got closer to shoreline, where the pebbles became smaller and merged into sand.
The tradition of going to see the waves had begun when Liam was a baby. I loved spending time with people, especially my closest friends and family, but I always needed a bit of time to myself on this day amongst the celebration and the laughter, just to have a chat to Mum. It wasn’t always aloud but the words were there and I believed – I knew – she could hear them. But it was always by the shoreline. The first time I’d done it, I’d said that I was ‘going to see the waves’. I wasn’t sure why. It just came out and then it stuck. My family understood and left me to do what I needed to do.
When Liam had arrived, I’d borrowed him and cuddled his warm, chubby little body as I stood at the tide line, wishing that my mum could be there with me, be there to hold her first grandchild. The following year, he’d toddled over to me and I’d picked him up and taken him with me again and a tradition of the boys coming with me had been born. They didn’t yet understand the deeper meaning of this ritual but it didn’t matter. Part of the tradition now was that time alone I got with the boys. I still sent up my wishes and love to Mum, but my nephews’ happy laughter and giggles as they taunted the shallow waves had made what had once been so difficult a little easier to bear and now a moment of joy that I looked forward to. I’d felt bad excluding Alex, but I’d seen the wariness in the boys’ eyes. I didn’t want to push anything on them yet because, if things did progress with me and him, I really wanted them to like him. I shoved all other thoughts out of my head as the boys gripped my hands and pulled me to the edge of the sea and began dancing with the shimmering water as it chased them back onto the land, their laughter echoing across the beach.
With slightly soggy feet from a misjudged moment, the boys and I headed back up to the restaurant and reclaimed our seats. Maria smiled at me as they ran back to her and Niall wrapped his arms around her neck as she pulled him onto her lap to remove his shoes and dry his slightly damp feet.
‘How were the waves?’ Alex asked.
‘Pleased to see us.’ I laughed.
He smiled. I wanted to pick back up on what I’d been planning to say earlier but now it didn’t feel right.
‘What time do you have to go?’
I saw his expression cloud a moment.
‘Not that I want you to go!’ I added quickly. ‘I meant, how much longer do I get to keep you for?’
‘Not long, I’m afraid. I’d better head off soon.’
I nodded.
‘I’ll call you tomorrow, when I wake up.’
‘OK.’
‘I’m really sorry I can’t stay tonight.’
I shook my head. ‘It’s OK. I mean, it’s not, in that I want you to stay, but it’s OK in that I understand that you can’t. Because you have to work. I’m not sure shift work is our best friend right now. Bit of a pain in the bum, if I’m honest.’
He laughed at my rambling. ‘It certainly can be. But I’m sure we’ll find a workaround.’ That promise was back in his voice, as his gaze leisurely drifted over my face before he leant closer and kissed me.
‘Ugh!’ Liam’s voice came across the table. My nephew still hadn’t fully grasped the concept of whispering. He had the whispered tone right, but the volume was generally still set to normal. My smile broke against Alex’s lips. He pulled away and shook his head, resignation on his face.
‘Sorry.’
He shook his head, smiling. ‘I have to go anyway.’
‘But you’ll miss the cake!’ Gina waved her hands. ‘Two minutes!’ she said and rushed off to accost a waiter.
‘Babe, I really do have to go.’
Across the table, I saw Amy’s eyebrows rise. I chose to ignore them.
‘Don’t worry. I’ll save you a piece. Don’t make yourself late.’
‘Happy birthday to you…’ The tune rang out with a line of waiters following a large cake, complete with candles and indoor sparklers. The other diners began joining in and I could see Alex torn as to what he felt he should do.
‘Go!’ I said and kissed him quickly. ‘It’s just a cake.’
He nodded, made an apologetic goodbye gesture to the table and headed off to the exit. I watched him go for a moment before my attention was drawn back to the cake now being lowered onto the table. Alex was pretty gorgeous but, boy, this chocolate-sprinkled creation looked almost as delicious as he did.
Amy and I were now sitting next to one another as Marcus and Charlie chatted and demolished enormous slices of cake between them. Though, to be fair, our own slices were hardly what one could call petite either.
I looked up to find her studying me.
‘What?’ I said, around a mouthful of utter chocolate yumminess.
‘Babe?’
I made a non-committal face. ‘It’s affectionate.’
‘Libs, you hate being called babe!’
‘I never said I hated it.’
‘You did actually.’
She was right and I knew this. For a long time, I’d never given it a thought if someone ever called me ‘babe’. And then, a couple of years ago, the boys went through a phase of watching the film Babe. And, as could often be the case with small people, they chose to watch it over and over again. To the point where I became conditioned that upon hearing that word all I could think of was a little piglet. Admittedly, a cute little piglet. But a pig all the same.
‘Oh. Well, maybe it just depends on who’s calling me it.’
‘Really,’ Amy said flatly.
‘Maybe.’
‘Why don’t you just tell him you don’t like it?’
‘I can’t! I kind of just let it go the first few times because we’ve hardly been able to get together much, what with his shifts and holiday cover, plus all his studying for the detective exam stuff. Not to mention the craziness that is my work right now. I didn’t want it to come out wrong when it’s all so new anyway. And then it sort of seemed like I’d missed the moment to say, “You know what? Can you not call me babe, because all I can think of when I hear that is a pig?” It’s a ridiculous reason, Ames! I can see that, even if I can’t help it.’
‘So? It might be a bit ridiculous, but that’s you!’
I looked at her. ‘Did that come out exactly how it was supposed to?’
‘No, not really. But you get the idea. You’re entitled to have your own preferences and reasons, however ridiculous they may seem to anyone else. We can’t all be as logical as… say, Charlie!’
Upon hearing his name, Charlie looked up and gave a sideways glance at his brother. ‘Have you any idea what I’ve done this time?’
Marcus pulled a ‘not a clue’ face.
‘You haven’t done anything,’ Amy said, leaning across the table and patting his hand. I was tactile all the time. Amy was alcohol-induced tactile. ‘Libby was berating herself for not always being the most logical, but I said that it was all right and that not everyone is like you. Not that you being logical is a bad thing. It’s just a… thing.’
‘Libby’s logical when she needs to be. In business, for example.’
‘Exactly!’ Amy said, enthusiastically.
‘If you were as logical as me all the time, you wouldn’t be you. And that wouldn’t do at all. We need your…’ I saw a glint in his eye and smile curve onto his lips ‘… your va-va-voom to keep us all amused and on our toes!’
My eyes widened as I immediately realised what he was referring to. The last time he’d used that exact phrase was when what he’d now christened the ‘Sports Illustrated picture’ of me had popped up on the computer.
He met my look with an orchestrated innocent one of his own.
‘See?’ Amy said, completely unaware of the double meaning Charlie had infused his reply with.
‘What’s she got to be logical about, anyway? Marcus asked.
‘Nothing really,’ I said.
‘Alex calling her babe,’ Amy filled in.
‘You hate people calling you babe,’ Charlie said, and then frowned. ‘Something about a… pig?’
I slapped my hand to my forehead and forked an extra-large piece of cake onto my plate.
24
I was working way past my bedtime when the sound of my mobile’s video-call ringtone caused me to scoot back around the desk, propelling my chair along with my feet until I got to a point I could reach out and snag the phone. Charlie’s picture was on the screen.
‘Hi!’
‘Hello. How are you?’
‘I’m fine. How are you, Mr Jet-Set? What time is it there?’
‘Early evening,’ he replied, smiling at my description of him. ‘I didn’t know if you’d still be up.’
‘Tonnes to do. Working late. Aren’t you out hitting the town?’
‘It’s far too early for that. Those in the know are aware that no one hits the clubs before eleven.’
‘Oh, of course. Silly me!’
‘Actually, I’m sat watching a bad film on HBO.’
‘That sounds more like it.’
‘Thanks.’
‘No! I didn’t mean it like that.’
‘Right. But apparently I can’t fool you into thinking I’m doing something cool even when I’m thousands of miles away.’
‘Don’t be daft. I already know you’re cool.’
‘Of course. Well, I did actually go to a club last night. Which is why I’m knackered and in front of the telly tonight.’
‘You did?’
‘Um hmm,’ he said. The ice cubes in the glass he held clinked as he swirled the drink.
‘Fab! Was that with people you’re working with?’
‘Sort of.’
I waited for an explanation but nothing further came.
‘Did you have a good time?’
‘Yes, actually. I was dreading it. I couldn’t really get out of it when they said they were going but I was amazed at how good a time I had. Paid for it a bit today though.’ He gave his little chuckle.
‘Gosh. Sounds like it suits you over there in the Big Apple.’
‘Yeah, maybe it does.’
<
br /> There was a beat or two of silence as we both digested that.
‘So, did you ring for anything or just to say hello?’
‘Both, really.’
‘OK.’
‘One of the companies I’m working with here is a cosmetics business, but all into saving the planet too. They’re pretty big over here and are looking to expand into the UK and Europe. I got chatting with them yesterday and you came up, you know, the blog and stuff. They asked me if I thought you’d be open to doing some reviews of their stuff. I said I had no idea, but that I’d ask.’
‘Oh! Well, yes, of course. I’d love to take a look at them. I’m not going to screw things up for you if we find it’s not really our thing though, am I? I’m pretty honest with my reviews.’
‘That’s no problem. They went and looked you up and watched hours of your videos, apparently, so they know the score.’
‘Right! Well, then, yes. Of course!’
‘Great. They’re pretty excited so this will really please them. Thanks, Libs.’
I laughed. ‘I’m sure you don’t need my help pleasing the ladies, Charlie.’
‘Oh, ha ha. I’ll bring the stuff back with me when I come.’
‘When are you back?’
‘Couple of days.’
‘OK. It feels like you’ve been away forever.’
‘Yes. It’s been a bit of a longer than usual trip this time. Various things to fit in.’
‘But it’s gone well?’
‘Yes. Pretty productive.’
‘Great.’
There was a pause.
‘Alex seemed to enjoy your last date.’
‘You’ve spoken to him?’
‘Messaged.’
‘I see. And?’
‘And what?’
‘What did he say?’
‘Oh, just bloke stuff, you know.’
‘I don’t know.’ I paused. ‘You’re not going to tell me, are you?’
‘Nope.’
‘So why even say he’d mentioned it?’
‘Because I knew it would drive you nuts.’
‘You know, you have this adorable, sweet persona thing going on, but it’s all a façade. You do know that, don’t you?’
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