by Foster, Voss
But I do know one thing. It catches fire. I tried it out. Thought about spray paint and a lighter, the kind of stupid fucking stunts I pulled in high school. It worked. Big old fucking fireball thing. Probably gave away my whole position, if anyone was watching. I can hope they weren't. Really hope they weren't. Or at least hope that they were far enough away. Everything's recharged again. I can burn the fuckers, now. They ain't getting close to me or to Desiree.
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 06RITA
ENTRY 005
DATE: 3/9/2074
Well, aren't you happy to hear from me again? I'm sure I'm your favorite. I mean, does anyone else even talk to you? Really talk to you? Even if this whole thing's getting a little bit one-sided, now. I don't mind it too much. It gives me something to do when I get bored. Blake's useful, but damn it if he isn't horribly dull company. How many hours a day can two people spend talking about video games? As far as that horndog Blake is concerned, several. Many. A lot. I wish you could understand. Of course, you probably do understand. Watching the camera feeds to see what your little pet gerbils are up to, you've probably got triplicate records of everything any of us have ever said.
You probably even know how I feel about Blake. You probably know that I don't like it. If not, I'm telling you now: that's why I sleep so badly. That's why I'm waking up so many times. Every single time. I don't like what I'm doing to him. It makes me want to puke, thinking about it. Every time.
See, you did this to me. You people and this ridiculous game of yours. Killing people. Afraid for your life. Lying, cheating, armed to the teeth like some guerilla fighter with weapons that probably shred the Geneva Conventions to bits. Tiny ass bits. Did you consider that? Did you think about any of this, putting weapons like this in the hands of any John Q. Sample? Sure, you probably did. But I bet you didn't care, did you? I don't think you care about any of this. It's just part of your show, a big increase in ratings, a big increase in profits, a big fat nothing as far as we're concerned. I mean, how much money are we bringing in for you dickweeds, if you can afford to chuck twenty million dollars out for the grand prize? A shit ton, right? And here we are, just playing along. What happens if the show starts to get slow? Do you start fucking with us? Trying to get those ratings to jump up? Or do you just leave us to ourselves and pray that the viewers will keep on watching, even if it's dull as shit?
Come on. Let's get started. I'm tired of not hearing back from you. It's pretty God damn rude for you to just leave me talking to myself like this. It's been over two months now.
ENTRY END
UNREST IN EGYPT
3/7/2074 at 10:19 a.m. EST
While tensions in Egypt have been on the rise, the bubble has finally popped. A group calling themselves the Egyptian Restoration Movement attacked the Egyptian Museum in Cairo yesterday. While no artifacts were stolen, several antiquities were destroyed or damaged before the terrorists could be forced out.
In the wake of this museum attack, several other national fixtures have increased security. However, several attacks were made on the Heliopolis Palace, the current residency of the Egyptian president. We will update this article as more information is made available to us here at The Cruise.
JOURNAL 11SUSAN
ENTRY 007
DATE: 3/10/2074
Plans changing. Leaving traps. Won't go far. Can still catch people. Take out the biggest threats. People who will actively go after me. Leave the lights on in the house, make it obvious. People that stupid should die anyway.
Medallion I filched off Tina will keep me safe. I can travel. Start playing. Want to get this over with. Twenty million won't do me any good if I'm halfway dead when I leave. All go to medical bills. A little over two months.
Won't get Craig. He's too smart for that. Why I tried to keep him around. Close, he could die quick. Now I have to hunt or hope that someone else gets him done with. Save me trouble ferreting him out.
I'll be fine. Medallion's too strong for anyone to survive the hit. Just can't miss. Missing would be bad. Can't run for shit. So I can't miss.
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 07JULIA
ENTRY 005
DATE: 3/13/2074
It's time for things to change. I'm going to wear my medallion again. I just can't keep ignoring reality like this. It's not healthy and it's not working.
And, as much as I don't like it, without this game, I would never have found Christina. I'm not going to think too much about the ramifications of all this. I know that accepting the game means that I have to accept that one or both of us is going to die, but who knows how long it could be before that happens. Christina won't kill me, I know that. If it's the two of us, maybe we can just go until old age. Maybe we'll sit around long enough that no one cares anymore. If there's no more excitement left in a TV show, it gets cancelled, right?
I'm pretending to be happy to impress… who? Myself? I hate this whole thing, and I doubt I'll be the one who makes it to the end. I'm not a fighter. I'm definitely the wrong person for this game. I know that, Christina knows it, the people who put this whole thing together know it, I'm sure. I'm a line cook, not one of those extremophiles, getting off on the adrenaline of life. Every time I think about what's going on around me, I just want to hide up in bed and rot away. It'd be easier.
But I won't. I'm getting into this. I have to. For myself and for Christina. I'm dead weight for her. She's still playing the game, after all. If she wastes her time and energy trying to protect both of us, that's not doing either one of us a favor. And I'd rather realize my own stupidity now rather than when I get killed, or when I have to clean Christina's blood off the carpet.
But not today. Tomorrow. I want one more day to try and ignore this all. Hamburgers for dinner.
ENTRY END
THE PARK: WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?
3/11/2074 at 2:08 a.m. EST
Everyone's heard of it by now. It's controversial. People love controversy, after all. Just eat it up. And what could be more controversial than organized murder for entertainment? Just about nothing I could think of.
Well, it's all fake. I'd put money on it. People are stupid enough to believe that this is all real? I wish I could say that I'm surprised. But nope. I gave up on my hopes for the intelligence of the human race years ago.
But today, I'm here to tell you that it's all fake. Fiction. Entertaining fiction, but fiction nonetheless. Aside from the big, glaring fact that it's completely immoral and illegal to do what they claim to be doing, let's look at the cast. A diverse enough spread to appeal to everyone. Six men, six women, different socioeconomic levels, some racial diversity, and even a Brit. Almost like it was planned.
Sure, they could have put the 'contestants' together to get all of that. But now we have the lesbian angle getting stronger and stronger in every episode. Christina and Julia's relationship is increasingly prominent.
See, the American public will eat up anything with lesbians. With pretty lesbians, anyway. If they were real butch, I wouldn't even bring it up. But Julia and Christina are both attractive women.
But it's not even that. All that does is add more evidence to the pile. Here's the real kicker for the lesbian=fiction argument: where are the gay dudes? Not a one in sight. They managed two lesbians in their 'random' selection, but no gays? Know why? Gays don't sell nearly as well. Gays are generally much less popular. It's just a fact, not my personal feelings on the matter.
You would think, all things being equal, there might be some gay guys running around here, too. Sure, maybe there are and we just aren't privy to the information. I'm not claiming that I have a watertight case for this whole thing. I don't. But I highly doubt we're watching a true reality show with random Joe and Jill Schmoes. I just doubt it. It doesn't make it any less entertaining, though.
Nancy Fitch
JOURNAL 05CRAIG
ENTRY 006
DATE: 3/13/2074
I found something. It might work. There was a CESU hidden
under a bush, like, tucked into the bark and the roots. It's not all that strong, but that's perfect. I never wanted something strong. Maybe stronger than this, but I'm hardly going to complain. I got so excited, I had to go get mine and start working on it. Which was probably really god damn stupid, but I did it anyway. I didn't set it off doing that, and I actually made some progress. Enough progress to make me hopeful. The casing on the back of the other CESU is warped. The one I found lets out a beam. Like a low-intensity laser. Way better than a laser pointer but not so strong it can burn through steel and shit. And it's small enough to give me some precision. I can only work in five or six second bursts before it gives up and has to recharge, but that's fine. It recharges quickly anyway. I think I can get through the casing soon. That's why I stopped. I'm going to sleep, see if that helps. Using lasers when you're drowsy just sounds like a bad idea to me, no matter how weak they are.
But if this works, I can make a much more reliable alarm system. I could hardwire it together with some of the lines from inside the trailers. Wouldn't have to worry about the tripwire not working. I might even be able to lead people off, if I set it up right. And if I can modify this one, I can modify others. Hopefully. I'm actually beginning to think I could make it through this. I'd still rather not kill anyone. I'd rather run. But I have to be ready for that, if it comes down to it, unfortunately. And I think this new CESU is going to really help me with that.
I think the most important thing is that I finally feel some kind of comfort. Pretty soon, I'll have wires and circuit boards and resistors to work with. Things I know about. Things I can control. Things I'm used to from my normal life.
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 02CHRISTINA
ENTRY 006
DATE: 3/14/2074
Julia's finally asleep. I had to sit with her today. She looked terrible when she came out. It was weird enough that she slept later than me to begin with. She was shivering when I saw her. And she had a medallion around her neck. I didn't say anything about it, just grabbed her and hugged her. We haven't said a word to each other in hours. After I got her calmed down enough that she could drink some water, she explained it to me.
I can't believe I found this woman. She's doing it for me. She's willing to go back to this nightmare game for me. Out there, I never had anyone like this. I didn't think I could. But I get into this god damn murder fest and there she is, waiting for me with food and love and a warm bed. And now this. I just can't believe it. She cares that much about me?
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 10MANFRED
ENTRY 007
DATE: 3/22/2074
I have allowed someone else into my home again. All logic tells me that I should not have done it. Were I a more violent person, I would even say that I should have killed him. But I know that I could never have done such a thing, even if I were in perfect health. There is more here at play than logic, anyway. Before I could give it much thought, I had already offered to let him stay here. It was the loneliness. I couldn't handle the loneliness as well as I thought I could, I suppose, and Craig provided me with an opportunity to break that.
He's a quiet enough young man. He reminds me quite a bit of David. But he seems to have more drive, at least so far as this game is concerned. He believes that he can work with the medallions and modify them to make them more useful. Whether he can do this or not, I cannot say for certain, but I will allow him the opportunity. It is simply too nice having company. I would not want him to leave me. I have even provided him with my own medallion to tinker with. It allows him to continue his work and gets that danger out of my hands. I was not comfortable with such power, anyway. I still have David's old medallion, if the need arises for me to defend myself.
I am doing my best to hide my poor condition from Craig. He has been so engrossed in his work, I doubt he would have noticed anyway. Although, perhaps his very presence will help. I feel livelier just having him around. And, although I still attempt to hide from the world outside this trailer, I am interacting again. Perhaps the company will convince me that life is worth living. It may assuage my fears enough to allow me to keep food down. I can only hope. Now, I do not want to die. At least, not from lack of trying to live.
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 04JUSTICE
ENTRY 007
DATE: 3/24/2074
Locking doors isn't just something I do to get away, now. I've had to put stuff in front of the windows, keep the doors locked. It's the only way I can keep her in this fucking house. She's screaming and banging and begging to get out. And then she'll just fucking stop. For hours, I won't hear a thing. The first few times, I went in to make sure she hadn't passed out or escaped or anything. But I stopped that right fucking off. She threw herself at me when I went in. I didn't want to fucking punch her or anything, but I still hurt her pretty good throwing her back in the bedroom. And then the screaming started again. It just cycles like that. I don’t even know if she fucking sleeps. Maybe that's what the quiet times are all about. I just wish she'd let me nap longer than a couple hours. My vision's starting to get blurry. I'm just thankful that she's not any fucking stronger than she is. Don't know if I could handle her, otherwise.
ENTRY END
TO: Niels Evenstad
FROM: Frederick Evenstad
SUBJECT: Craig
SENT 3/27/2074 AT 3:13 p.m. EST
Brother,
I think we need to talk about this. Craig's figured out how to get into the CESUs. This isn't anything that was in our plans. They were not supposed to be able to do anything with them other than use them to fight. I… I think this needs to stop, Niels. At this point, we can't control what happens. The CESUs aren't designed to be modified by anyone, least of all garage mechanics. We need to just end the show. We'll continue the pay to the beneficiaries of the deceased and we can split the prize money between the survivors. There's more than enough in the budget, and we can keep the online game to hold profits steady. But this is far enough. This is now a matter of public safety. We know some of these contestants are unstable. If something goes wrong and they are somehow allowed out into the world, I can't imagine what it would mean. And we would be plainly at fault.
Please, Brother. This has gone on long enough. You have to see that.
Frederick Evenstad
Chief Operating Officer, Evenstad Technologies
—
TO: Frederick Evenstad
FROM: Niels Evenstad
SUBJECT: RE: Craig
SENT 3/27/2074 AT 3:22 p.m. EST
I'm well aware of this situation, Brother. It's concerning, I admit that, but it's not an issue we can't handle, either. I have full confidence that everything will be fully safe. Craig is not qualified to work with such technology. It will be well beyond his capacity to understand. My people and I have ensured that, and I find it insulting that you would doubt me so. But I do understand your concerns. Grant me some faith. We're monitoring the situation, so it's not something you need to concern yourself with. Don't let this worry you. You have enough stress. Your meeting with the military contractors is fairly early tomorrow morning. Focus on that and leave the issue with the CESUs to me.
Niels Evenstad
Chief Operating Officer, Evenstad Media
JOURNAL 08DESIREE
ENTRY 006
DATE: 3/31/2074
God, I thank You for this. You have granted me another sign, and I will follow it. I know that I must. All I need is a way to get past Justice. I have seen what comes next. I have seen the Devil, and I will find the Beast, even if it means that I must remove the other obstacles in my path. Even if it means I must break through the walls that hold us all here. I will prove my devotion. This I swear. You have spoken to me, told me to find the source of the evil around us. I know You will show me the way.
Amen
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 05CRAIG
ENTRY 007
DATE: 3/31/2074
I've finally managed to do something useful. Really useful. I just hope it turns out better than last time I thought I was doing something good. That ended with Tina dead.
But that's not like this. This is going to keep me safe for a long time. Maybe even until the end. I took the medallion Manfred gave me and hooked it into some wire and cable I scrounged up from the houses around us. It wasn't easy, and it's not perfect, but we've got a sort of electric fence up. If we see anyone coming, we can hit the button on the CESU and get rid of them. If we see them coming.
The CESUs themselves are fascinating, though. It's all powered by a tiny battery. I don't know if it's nuclear power or dark energy or something I can't even begin to fathom, but the battery itself is hardly bigger than a standard AAA. But the weird thing is that the little LED gauge is wired separately from the whole thing. I tracked the circuits twice, just to be sure. No direct connection. The gauge connects to a transistor, and the power supply connects to another transistor. I mean, I'm sure they connect together somewhere along the way. But it's two systems completely capable of independent function. If you could sever the right connection… I don't really want to think about it. If you sever the right connection, you could possibly take off the supposed charge delay, which I'm beginning to doubt is even a vital part of the design. Which is scary. I don't trust myself to mess with that kind of stuff. Not where this kind of power is involved. But if someone did, or if the company did, these things would be a hundred times as dangerous as they already are. No recharge time.