Y'all Witches

by Amy Boyles

  I found Roman back in the cabin. His face was pinched, his eyes narrow and his hands steepled together.

  “Now that does not look like the face of a man on his honeymoon,” I said.

  Roman reached for me and wrapped his hand around my waist. “I was just thinking.”

  “You promised you wouldn’t do that. This vacation is all about enjoying ourselves and not thinking. It’s especially about not sticking our noses into other people’s business. Remember?”

  “Yeah. So far you’re doing better at that than I am.”

  I shrugged.

  “You’re not objecting.”

  I threaded my fingers through his blond hair. He moaned. “Griselda’s dog ended up in Grandma’s room. We found Griselda’s assistant and gave it back to her.”

  He shot me a knowing look. I shrugged. “So I asked her some questions. I didn’t delve into anything serious. I don’t know any more details that I did last night.”

  “I do,” he said.

  “Well cover me in Crisco and slap me stupid, what is it you found out?”

  He chuckled. “The girl’s fingerprints were all over that diamond.”

  I released my hold on him and sank onto the bed. “When I talked to Annie, she said they weren’t going to press charges. She didn’t even know the girl was guilty. Said she didn’t see the point since Griselda was dead.”

  Roman nodded. “She may not have known, but it seems Griselda did.”

  My eyes widened. “So the detectives confirmed that Lillian had stolen the earring last night?”

  Roman grunted.

  “I take that as a yes.”

  He smirked. “That’s a yes. Griselda knew, and she wanted something done about it.”

  Curiosity sparked in my chest. “What?”

  Roman extended a hand for me to rise. “Weren’t we going to couple’s massages?”

  I swallowed and glanced away guiltily. “Yes. We’re going to be late if we don’t get over there. But I want to know what Griselda was going to do.”

  Roman brushed his lips over my forehead. “I thought this was our honeymoon.”

  I poked his chest. “You’re the one who started talking about it. It wasn’t me.”

  “You’re the one who dragged me into it. Volunteered me to help.”

  “Oh.” He had me there. Roman was absolutely right. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

  He tugged me to him. “I doubt that. I’m sure by the end of the day you’ll have volunteered me to do something else.”

  I threaded my fingers through my hair and tied it into a high ponytail. “How about I try not to.”

  He winked. “Sounds like a plan.”

  We made it to the ship’s spa with about ten minutes of relaxation time before the massages started. It was enough to calm my beating heart and let me enjoy a few moments in a good-smelling room with my brand-new husband.

  After I spent an hour getting my body worked on, I felt as relaxed as a limp noodle and was ready to climb up on a chair and soak in some sun.

  Which is what I did after a small detour to our bedroom for some, well, us time.

  A little while later I was dressed, pulling a brush through my hair and admiring Roman, who snoozed soundly.

  I guess a little relaxation is good for everyone.

  I decided I’d hit the snack bar and snatch some grapes and cheese for him to have when he woke up. I toed on my shoes, grabbed a pashmina and wove my way through the deck.

  I hadn’t gone very far when I heard arguing.

  “But you can’t do that to her. Lillian’s just a girl. I don’t know why she stole the diamond, but Griselda got it back.”

  “Maria, it’s not what I would do, but it’s what’s necessary. She stole it; surely even you can see that.”

  “Please, Bob,” she pleaded. “They can’t make her jump from the plank.”

  I peered around the corner and saw Maria the Gypsy, wearing much more normal clothing than she had the night before, and Captain Byrd standing in a corner, arguing.

  “It’s the penalty for theft. You know it is. We don’t take that lightly, no matter what the age of the person.”

  She clasped her hands on his arm. “Can’t you do something? Change the recommendation? Who wants to see a young girl on the plank? Who? It’s not Griselda. That old witch is dead. And the world is better for it.”

  Bob wove his fingers through his chest-length beard. “It was Griselda’s wish. She wrote it out.”

  “Give me the paper; I’ll burn it. I’ll get rid of everything that even remotely points a finger at Lillian.”

  “Maria,” Bob said.

  “No,” she stammered. “It’s true. You should be more worried about finding Griselda’s killer than you should be about my daughter. Do something, Bob. For her. For Lillian. You owe her.”

  She shot Bob a look so dark even I reared back a bit. The movement caught their attention, and Captain Byrd glanced over. The troubled look on his face vanished as he beamed at me.

  “Mrs. Bane, so good to see you. I hope you’re enjoying your stay on the Majestic. We should be docking at Celestial Island tomorrow. It’s a wonderful place. Full of beauty and mystery. I think you’ll love it.”

  I nodded. “Thank you. I know we will. Anyway, I was just heading to get a snack. If you’ll excuse me.”

  I felt Maria’s eyes bore into me as I passed. I flashed her a sympathetic look, but that’s about all I could do, wasn’t it?

  After all, it was none of my business. I was on my honeymoon. But surely they wouldn’t throw a little girl off the plank.

  I shivered and stopped. My feet moved as if on their own as I turned around and faced the captain and gypsy.

  “Listen, I couldn’t help but hear what you were saying. For what it’s worth, Griselda’s assistant, Annie, won’t press any charges against Lillian. In fact, she didn’t see the point. Maria,” I continued, “if you wanted to take it up with her, I’m sure she has the authority to override what Griselda wanted. It’s like you said, the woman is dead. Perhaps something good can come out of this thing instead of something evil.”

  Maria smiled widely at me as I started to turn back. I heard Captain Byrd sigh behind me. “It’s worth a shot, Maria. It’s worth a shot.”

  Feeling pretty good about myself, I headed into the twenty-four-hour cafeteria for a snack. I quickly built a plate of fruit and cheese and started to head back toward the door when I saw Grandma talking to an older gentleman. He wore a tweed blazer with a brown pocket handkerchief sticking out. At that moment the man yanked the slip of cloth from the pocket, unfurled it and dabbed his eyes as he laughed.

  Oh jeez. Grandma must be telling him one of her crazy stories.

  Or, probably, she wasn’t telling him a story at all. She was simply talking. Which, in and of itself is enough to make a person’s head swim in confusion.

  In fact, it might actually break someone’s brain. I’m surprised mine hadn’t been broken yet.

  Grandma saw me and called me over. “Alistair Krause, meet my granddaughter, Dylan. She just got married and couldn’t stand to be separated from her family, so she invited me on her honeymoon trip.”

  Alistair extended his hand. “How do you do?”

  I nodded. “Fine. Thank you,” I said through gritted teeth. “I see my grandmother is entertaining you.”

  Grandma flipped her hands up and down. “Actually it’s the other way around. Alistair here is an inventor. He’s been telling me all about his wondrous creations.”

  My eyebrows shot to peaks. “Oh? What sort of creations?”

  Grandma thrust an eyeball into my face. “Things like this.”

  “Ah,” I screamed. “Whose eye is that?”

  Grandma winked at Alistair. “See? I told you it would get her.”

  “You placed a bet on me? That the eyeball would scare me?”

  Grandma smiled. “I don’t know why you’re so surprised. That’s how I roll, Dylan. I like to scare yo
u young things.”

  I jutted out one hip. “Let me see that thing. Is it real?”

  Alistair took it from Grandma. He spun it left and right. A bright blue iris stared at me. “It’s made of glass and other compounds. Hard as a rock. Unbreakable.”

  He held it out and dropped it in my palm. It was cool, smooth, and felt like a stone just pulled from a cool stream. “What’s it do?”

  Alistair’s gaze took on a dreamy look. “It helps you see where you cannot.”

  “Come again?”

  The gentleman cleared his throat and said, “If there are places you can’t look, this little invention will help you see into them.”

  “You mean, I could see what’s on the other side of a locked door.”

  “Among other things. I used it in my treasure-hunting days. We’d search out old chests and such. We would know whether or not there was gold inside without cracking them open. Saved a lot of energy.”

  “Not to mention morals. You could see inside bathrooms and things.”

  Alistair stared at me as if that thought had never occurred to him. “I suppose.”

  I grimaced. I guess I’d gone where I wasn’t supposed to in a conversation. Oh well, it wasn’t the first time, and I was more than sure it wasn’t going to be the last.

  “Okay, well, you two kids have a great time. I’ll be around if anyone needs me.”

  “Wait, Dylan,” Grandma said. “Alistair has interesting information.”

  “Oh? What sort?”

  Grandma curled a hand around his arm. “The kind about a recently deceased socialite.”

  I picked up a grape and popped it into my mouth. “You mean the kind of information I’m not interested in hearing,” I said. “You know, because I’m staying out of this whole thing?”

  Grandma poked the air. “Where’s your sense of adventure? I’ve never known you to give up on hearing tidbits about a person, especially when it came to solving a mystery.”

  I shook my head. “Please forgive us, sir. My grandmother and I are in the middle of a disagreement about certain things. She wants me to poke my nose in someone’s business. Me personally, I’m of a mind to leave the whole thing well enough alone.”

  Alistair chuckled. “It’s quite all right. I understand when it comes to these sorts of delicate situations.”

  We weren’t talking about balancing porcelain or anything. Nothing of that sort of delicate nature. So I had no idea what he was talking about.

  “Um, okay, thank you.”

  “Don’t you want to know what the information is?” Grandma said.

  Not really. I wasn’t going to get involved. I wasn’t going to get involved. I really didn’t need to get involved with this, but curiosity was like a little flea behind my ear, biting the heck out of me.

  Ha. That sounded like something Queen Em would say. She’d be the first person to talk about fleas and dogs. Heck, she might actually be hiding a few fleas in that long hair of hers.

  Oh. Was that wrong of me to think that?

  Probably.

  “Sure,” I said, figuring the bit of information wasn’t anything really worth hearing. “What is it?”

  Grandma nudged Alistair. “Please tell her what you told me.”

  Alistair cleared his throat dramatically. His gaze swiveled from side to side as he said, “Now, this shouldn’t get around. It’s really not worth everyone else hearing.”

  “Of course not,” I said. “I wouldn’t dream of gossiping.” Even though that was exactly what I was doing.

  “But I have it on good authority that Griselda had an illegitimate child.”

  My eyes flared. “No.”

  He nodded. “Yes. And I have it on even better authority that said illegitimate child is here, on board the Majestic.”

  SIX

  I dropped a grape on Roman’s tongue. “Apparently, Griselda had an illegitimate kid, and that person is on board the ship.”

  He groaned. It wasn’t a sound of pleasure. The dramatic eye roll he added to it told me as much. “Not getting involved.”

  “Oh, I’m not getting involved either. Not at all. I was just thinking that maybe, you know, you might want to know.”

  Roman slumped back onto the bed. He laid a hand on his flat abs and said, “Now, why would I want to know that?”

  I shrugged. “In case the detective asked your advice on the murder or anything. You know, then you’d have this info.”

  Roman stared at me out from under his dark, smudgy lashes. “I thought we were on our honeymoon.”

  “So what you’re saying is…?”

  Roman stretched out his arms. “I’m saying come here and keep me company.”

  I laughed. I snatched a piece of cheese from the tray and nibbled the corner. After a moment I said, “But what if there is an illegitimate child? What if that child wanted revenge? I once saw a movie where that happened. The kid showed up and killed the father who conceived him but never raised him. I mean, Griselda was kind of evil. That could’ve happened here.”

  Roman chuckled. “First of all, you can’t say Griselda was evil. You interacted with her for five seconds. Secondly, where would we even begin to look for a child? It’s not like there’s going to be a sign hanging from their neck.”

  I finished the cheese and moved back to a grape. “You’re right. Hmm. I’ll have to think on that one.”

  “No, you won’t.” He sat up. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, because darlin’, I know I won’t win that battle, but you did make a promise.”

  “I’m trying to keep it,” I whimpered.

  “Not trying hard enough.”

  I sighed. “Okay, I’ll try harder.”

  He raised his eyebrows at me. “How about you try a little closer to me.”

  I giggled. “I think I can do that.”

  After some things went on that I’m not going to tell y’all about because they’re private, Roman got up to go work out and I started getting ready for supper. I had just slipped into my little black dress when the door opened and in strutted Grandma, a plum-colored scarf draped over her shoulders.

  “I love the sea air, Dylan. It does so much for my bones. It makes me feel young, alive.”

  “Okay, first of all, we’re not at sea. We’re in the sky. Secondly, you are alive.”

  Grandma narrowed her eyes at me. “Always a party pooper, you are. Where’s the party, you ask? Don’t worry; if Dylan shows up, she’ll poop all over it.”

  “That’s disgusting,” I said. “And thank you so much for the horrible image that is now burned into my brain.”

  She tapped my cheek. “You’re welcome, my dear.” Grandma clasped her hands together. “Now, what are we doing tonight?”

  I tipped my head toward her. “I don’t know what ‘we’ are doing, but Roman and I are going to the crab dinner.”

  “Oh, Alistair and I will join you. That sounds wonderful.”

  “Um, I’m not sure about that.”

  Grandma took my arm. “Nonsense. Now, finish getting dressed and we’ll go by the carnival and see how your friend Maria is doing. See if she can read your fortune again and give you good news this time.”

  “What? Why?”

  Grandma smiled mysteriously. “Maybe we’re not actually going for you. I want to know what the future holds for me and Alistair.”

  “You and Alistair? You just met him.”

  A twinkle sparked in her eyes. “There’s something about him, Dylan. I think he might be the One.”

  The One? What the heck was she talking about? Grandma should’ve met the One in high school or her early twenties. I mean, who the heck was my grandpa if he hadn’t been the One?

  “What do you mean?” I said slowly.

  “Dylan, I’ve been looking for a man to spend the rest of my life with. You girls are wonderful, but you’re all splitting up. You’re married. Sera will be next—marching down the aisle to the beat of monkey drums. You know, since she’s marrying Brock, the monke
y king. But where does that leave me?”

  “With Nan, your bodyguard.”

  She shook her head. “Nan will go, too. We’re all going our separate ways. It’s time for me to find my own path. Live my own life. Walk my own road.”

  I quirked a brow. “Are you about to break into song?”

  Grandma smiled. “I might even do a little soft shoe on top of it.”

  I laughed. “Okay. Come on. Let’s go see if Maria can read your future.”

  It was still early when we reached the carnival room. The barkers were barking, though not as loudly, and the stars were only beginning to blink on the ceiling.

  “Magic,” Grandma said, slicing the air with her hand. “Beautiful, simple magic. An easy spell that I could show you if I ever needed to.”

  “It’s a wonderful effect.”

  “It is.” Grandma pointed. “Oh look, Maria’s already here.”

  We arrived at her booth. When she saw us, the gypsy smiled. “I can’t thank you enough for what you said about Griselda’s assistant, Annie.”

  My face brightened. “Really? Was I able to help?”

  She took my hands. Her fingers were long and bony, very different from my fleshy ones. “You helped free my Lillian. As soon as the detectives talked to Annie, she said exactly what you did, that no one was going to press charges, so the whole thing was dropped. What a relief.”

  I smiled. “I’m so glad I could help.”

  Maria clapped her hands together. “Now, tell me what I can do for you ladies. Anything you want. It’s on the house.”

  I pointed at Grandma. “She’d like you to tell her fortune.”

  Grandma thrust her hand out in front of her. “A simple palm reading is all I’m looking for. Nothing extravagant.”

  “Come. Sit. I will read your palm.”

  Grandma and I sat at her table just behind the booth. Maria poured over my grandmother’s palm, tracing the line with the tip of her finger.

  “You’ve had a very interesting life, one full of adventure but also very domestic at times.”

  Grandma frowned. “Lately it’s been more domestic than anything. Not that I’m complaining.”

  Maria smiled. “I see more adventure in your life. A man.”