Murdoch carried the last of the wounded fighters over to a pallet in the corner. After he was settled on the blankets, the man gingerly stretched out his leg, wincing at the pain. His skin was ashen, but that had more to do with the stress of having the jagged gash in his upper thigh stitched closed than the severity of the wound.
It wouldn’t hurt to repeat Lady Alina’s instructions one last time. “Remember, if it hurts too badly, ask for more of that special brew to help you sleep. Right now, rest is what you need.”
The weary man’s eyes were already fluttering closed. “Yes, sir.”
Satisfied he’d done all he could for the man, Murdoch headed back to where Lady Alina was tending to the last few of the injured. He stopped short of where she and the cook had set up the tables to treat those who had required more than a dash of salve or a simple bandage.
He’d already known Ellie to be a forceful woman who ran her kitchen with a strong hand. It was Lady Alina who had managed to surprise him. From the instant the first of the wounded were carried into the hall, she’d been here, there, everywhere with an encouraging word, a gentle touch, and a fierce determination to give even the lowliest of Merewen’s people the best care she could offer.
Other than the one man killed outright by Olaf, no other lives had been lost from among those loyal to Merewen. While it was difficult to forgive Fagan’s men for setting fire to the stable, their actions may have helped keep the deaths to a minimum. Cornered, the traitors would have fought like trapped rats.
“Sir Murdoch!”
He straightened up at the call of his name. “Yes, Lady Alina?”
She started for him, stopping when she was only an arm’s length away. The difference in their heights forced her to tip her head back at an awkward angle. Her diminutive size and grace made him feel big and clumsy, at the same time triggering all of his protective instincts.
“Did you need me to lift another patient?” In his mind he added, Or anything else I could do to help, as he searched for any excuse he could use to remain close to her.
“No, I wanted to thank you for all your help with the injured. You made our job much easier.”
His manners were a bit rusty, but he managed a stiff bow. “It was my pleasure, Lady Alina. Is there nothing more I can do?”
She bit her lower lip as she looked around. “We need to scrub the tables clean so that they are ready for the first meal in the morning, but that is not work for a noble knight such as you.”
Murdoch would have scrubbed the garderobe if it had pleased her. He kept that to himself.
“At least let me carry the tables back to where they belong for you.”
His willingness to help seemed to please her. Before she answered, though, one of the other women called out to her.
“Shall we boil more of the herbs in case some of the injured need them during the night?”
When Alina turned to answer her, Murdoch noticed she had a piece of thread in her hair; without thinking, he reached out to remove it. Or maybe he was thinking how nice it would be to touch the spun gold silk of her hair.
His reasons didn’t matter; only the effect his thoughtless gesture had on Alina did. As soon as she noticed the movement of his hand out of the corner of her eye, she cried out and threw her hands up in self-defense as she lurched backward, trying to get out of his reach and ward off the perceived blow.
Murdoch’s first instincts were to catch her, but one look at her too-pale face and the icy fear in her eyes froze him instantly.
Dangling the piece of thread in the air, he pitched his voice low and soothing. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to startle you. I thoughtlessly reached to remove this from your hair. I would never—”
He cut himself off midsentence. The last thing Alina would want would be for him to promise never to hit her the way that bastard Fagan clearly had. Even so, she obviously knew exactly what he’d been about to say. She swallowed hard as understanding came flooding back, her cheeks flushing bright in embarrassment.
Everyone in their immediate surroundings stood in hushed silence, staring first at him in disgust for frightening her and then at Alina with what looked like pity. He didn’t care what they thought of him, but Alina was a prideful, private woman. She would hate to be the object of anyone’s pity. She seemed caught in a trap, unable to break free.
Someone had to take charge of the situation. “Cook, I’m sure Lady Alina would be happy to show you how to brew more of that herbal tisane for the wounded. While you do that, the rest of us will move the tables back and get them scrubbed clean.”
He was well aware that any other time the cook would have come after him with one of her skewers for having hinted that she wouldn’t know how to boil water and herbs together without help.
Instead, she gave him a brief nod of approval as she gently took Lady Alina by the arm and led her from the hall.
Murdoch wanted very badly to follow after them and even see Alina safely to her room. Did she believe his unspoken promise to never raise a hand to her? Now wasn’t the time to question her further. It was bad enough that everyone in the household knew of her abuse. If he caused her honor to be called into question by showing too much interest in her, he would only compound the evil done by her husband.
Better that he concentrate on his duty as one of Gideon’s warriors. For tonight, he’d clean tables, but come the morrow, he’d hone his sword and prepare for battle. It was all he was good for.
Merewen kept her head up, carrying herself as if she really were in charge and knew what she was doing, when all she wanted to do was crawl into a corner somewhere and hide. Yes, she was glad the keep was now firmly in possession of Gideon and his men. But right now, it was all too much.
Before everything could spin out of control, a firm hand touched the middle of her back. “Steady there, Merewen.”
Just that quickly, Gideon’s solid presence helped rein in the tumble of memories. “Thank you.”
There was unexpected warmth in his voice. “All things considered, you’ve held up remarkably well. I would suggest a quick check on the injured, and then you should retreat to your room for what is left of the night. Kane and our avatars will remain on duty to make sure all stays quiet while everyone gets some rest. Nothing and no one will get by them.”
“A peaceful night of sleep would be a true gift from the gods.” She managed a small smile. “But not until I make sure the wounded have been seen to.”
They made a quick circle around the hall, and she was pleased with the care everyone had gotten. Her last stop was the kitchen. It was no surprise to see Ellie had fresh bread baking and a pot of apples stewing for the morning meal. However, she hadn’t expected to find her aunt seated on one of the benches with a mug of something hot clasped in her hands.
Alina stood up as Merewen walked in. “Niece, I’m glad to see you are well and unharmed. Sir Murdoch had said so, but it is a relief to see for myself.”
For the second time since the fire, Merewen found herself wrapped in someone’s arms. This time the hug was brief but still heartfelt.
“I’m fine. Tired, but fine.” Merewen gave Alina one last squeeze before stepping back. She smiled at the cook. “Ellie, I appreciate what you two have done for all of the injured.”
Alina shrugged her shoulders. “It’s good to be useful again.”
Her simple statement contained such pain. “You were more than just useful. Everyone out there was most eager to tell me of your kindness and gentle touch. They will all heal much better, thanks to the care you gave them.”
That was true, but right now it was Alina herself who concerned Merewen. The woman looked as if the slightest touch would shatter her into a hundred pieces. Merewen wasn’t the only one in need of sleep.
“I’m on my way to my room. Would you walk with me?”
Alina looked around, as if unsure how she’d come to be standing in the kitchen or what she needed to be doing. The cook came to the rescue.
; “Both of you need to get out from underfoot. I have work to do, and you’ll only be in the way.”
Merewen half expected the woman to flap her apron at them the way she did the chickens and geese out in the bailey. Still, her no-nonsense attitude gave Alina the push she needed to get moving again.
Tomorrow, Merewen would ask her friend what had happened to cause Alina to look so forlorn. With Fagan banished from the keep, Merewen wouldn’t have been surprised to find her aunt celebrating his absence.
Ellie followed them back out into the hall. Merewen hid a smile when the woman gave Gideon an appraising look. She sniffed the air and frowned. “I’ve been heating water all evening for people to use to wash up. Lady Merewen, that fancy tub of your uncle’s is waiting for you in your room.”
Then she pointed at Gideon. “I told your man Murdoch and his young friend that no one comes to my tables smelling of horse and burned wood. There are tubs for you and the other men set up in the room down the hall from Lady Alina’s. Use them.”
With that edict, she disappeared back into the kitchen, no doubt ready to terrorize her assistants into getting their chores done. Merewen couldn’t help herself and let loose with a peal of laughter. The stunned look on Gideon’s face was just too funny.
At first, he looked mildly irritated, but then he gave in and grinned back at her. “I can think of half a dozen battles that would’ve been more easily won with that woman in command.”
“You should tell Ellie that sometime. It would please her.”
He nodded. “But not tonight. I wouldn’t dare set foot in her kitchen in this condition. I’ll see you to your room and then seek out that bath she mentioned.”
They started to walk away but noticed that Alina wasn’t moving. Merewen had never seen her look quite so lost. Gideon gave her a questioning look. She shrugged, unsure what to do.
Finally, Gideon stepped forward and presented his arm to Lady Alina. “I am Captain Gideon. Would you allow me the honor of escorting you from the hall, my lady?”
Her aunt finally nodded and accepted the offer, looking grateful for his support. Merewen fought down the bit of jealousy she felt at watching Gideon charm another woman. It was an unworthy emotion, especially when it was so clear that right now Alina needed his attention more than Merewen did.
As she followed in their footsteps, a movement in the far corner caught her attention. It was Murdoch, his size making it impossible to mistake him for anyone else. It wasn’t just his odd behavior that had caught her attention, but the expression of raw hunger on his face as he’d watched Alina and Gideon walk across the great hall on their way to the staircase.
Granted, Alina deserved a far better husband than the one she’d been burdened with. If Fagan returned to the keep with the intent of winning back control from Gideon and his men, Alina would soon be a widow. Even if that were to happen, Murdoch would not be around long enough to take Fagan’s place in Alina’s life, even if her aunt was interested. The woman had little reason to trust the men in her life.
That thought brought Merewen full circle back to Captain Gideon. He was gruff, determined, and overbearing at times. Yet he’d kissed her with such tenderness and held her when she needed his comfort. Right now he was showing every kindness to a woman who had good reason to be skittish around men.
It would be all too easy to depend on him, to become accustomed to having such a man in her life. Nothing would change the gods’ decree that he had so little time to walk the land before returning to the river. She needed a man who could give her strong sons and daughters to carry on her family’s heritage—to face the future with her no matter what it held.
For now, the path of the Damned ran together with hers, side by side. Too soon those roads would diverge, never to cross again. A shaft of pain shot through her chest at the thought of watching Gideon and his men march back into the water, once again to sleep in the chill of the river. She stared at his back, wondering how she would bear to see that happen.
But what choice did either of them have? None.
Gideon happened to glance back at her, the touch of his gaze warming her from the inside out. He frowned, as if reading some of her thoughts in her expression.
At the top of the steps, Alina released his arm. It was a relief to hear a bit more life in her voice.
“Thank you, Captain. My quarters lie in that direction, but I can go the remaining distance on my own.”
Before leaving them, she glanced in Merewen’s direction. “Perhaps tomorrow you will see fit to explain to me how the good captain and his men came to be here right when we needed them the most.”
“I will, Alina. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
Alina gave Gideon another considering look. “We’ve all had secrets we’ve tried to keep, Merewen. Maybe that should change. Good night to you both.”
She walked away, carrying herself with such wounded dignity that it brought the sting of tears to Merewen’s eyes. Her aunt had endured so much pain.
“He won’t get near her again, Merewen. None of us will let that happen.”
The tone of Gideon’s voice made it clear that his words were more than a simple statement of fact. They were a vow, a heartfelt promise that Alina would never suffer another minute spent in Fagan’s company.
“I believe you.”
They’d reached her doorway. She hesitated, the memories of Olaf’s attack still fresh in her mind despite everything that had happened in the interim.
“He’s gone, Merewen.”
She could feel the warmth of Gideon’s strong body even though he stood a short distance away. Maybe it was only her imagination, but it gave her the courage she needed to cross the threshold.
As promised, an enormous tub full of steaming water sat near the fire. The servants had left another bucket of water sitting close enough to the flames to make sure she could warm the bath if it had cooled too much.
Gideon stood in the doorway. “Tomorrow I will make sure a bar is installed on your door. But for tonight, will it bother you to be alone?”
Her pulse raced. What was he asking? Or offering?
He answered her unspoken question. “Would you sleep better if your aunt or one of the servants stayed here with you?”
She tried not to show her disappointment. “No, I’ll be fine. Besides, Alina needs her own rest.”
Still he lingered.
“The room where Ellie had other tubs set up is down the hall to your left.”
He cocked his head and listened. “I’m guessing Averel and Duncan found them first. I’d just as soon not share, not with them. They’ll be done soon enough.”
Again, his meaning was hidden. Was he wanting to share her bath? The images that brought forth in her mind left her tingling in places better left unnamed. Did she have the courage to invite him into her room?
It would seem so. “Then share mine.”
When he didn’t immediately step toward her, she wished that she could back up time long enough to retract the offer. At least he didn’t laugh. Instead, the corners of his mouth kicked up in a small smile.
“Think carefully, Merewen. If I were to stay, it wouldn’t be only to bathe. Your people will know.”
They would. Secrets were hard to keep when people lived in such close quarters. So the question really was, did she care?
She studied the dance of the flames, remembering all too clearly how close they’d come to losing Gideon to the fire.
“I have lived in terror of my uncle, a man I have grown to hate. For months I have been waiting for him to decide what to do with me, fearing for my very life. The last night my uncle was here, he stopped Olaf from entering my room, but only because he said the duke had plans for me. Evidently, I was to remain untouched until such time as the duke was finished with me, whatever that was supposed to mean.”
She could think of several options, none of them good. However, right now she didn’t want to arouse Gideon’s pity or even his sense of duty a
s her champion.
No, that was not what she wanted at all.
“Gideon, I have only ever wanted to make my own choices, my own decisions, to marry and bear children who would share my heritage. Fagan has done everything he can to prevent that from happening. In his eyes, I am little better than the broodmares out there in the pasture. Actually, not even that. The last thing Fagan wants is for me to produce a son who might have inherited the family gift. That would cost him everything.”
Well aware that she was still covered in soot and smelled of smoke, she wasn’t sure what to do. Her experience with men who were of her station had been severely limited, especially since her father’s illness and her uncle’s tyrannical rule.
She’d never learned the art of feminine discourse; she’d been too busy discussing bloodlines and breeding stock. Thanks to her work with horses, she understood the earthier side of what went on between men and women, and life within the crowded confines of the keep left little to the imagination.
But knowing Gideon had enjoyed their few kisses and embraces gave her the courage she needed. Once again, she faced him, wanting him to see her truth.
“I would choose you, Captain Gideon, if you would have me.”
His pale eyes studied her for all of a heartbeat, perhaps two. “In all of my years of serving the gods, I have never once met a woman like you, Merewen. I want you so badly that my hands shake, but I won’t…I cannot…”
He shook his head in frustration. “If I were a mere man, one not cursed by the gods, one who could stay, I would walk through fire to be at your side and give you those sons and daughters you crave. You deserve better than a man whose life and soul are no longer his to claim.”
Once again, his honor and nobility rang clear in the small space that separated them.
It helped to know that he hungered as she hungered. “Have you already forgotten the events of this evening? You already have walked through fire for me, Gideon.”
She risked a step closer to him. “We both have obligations and duties that we must honor. But for tonight and as many nights as the gods may grant us, let us find what comfort we can in each other’s arms. Surely that is not too much to ask.”
My Lady Mage: A Warriors of the Mist Novel Page 20