“Sandy,” he had reminded her softly, “you and Jarod have to straighten this out. Not talking doesn’t seem to be the answer. Maybe I should—”
“No!” Sandy interjected fiercely. “No, Dad! Jarod has to grow up! I will not let our situation influence yours again!”
She was gone before Dan could say more.
He spent Thursday and Friday working, then discovered on Saturday that he hadn’t really accomplished anything.
He sat and stared out his plate-glass windows, watching the trees and the birds, and he wondered again how things could have come to such a pass.
Someone needed to talk to Jarod. Someone needed to knock some sense into the boy. It should be him—except that both his daughter and the woman he loved were determined that it wouldn’t be.
Now that his daughter was miserable, he was miserable, Jarod had to be miserable and surely—surely!—Kelly was, too. Unless he had imagined it all. Unless she really didn’t love him. Maybe he had just been a diversion to her. The new man in town and all that.
It was ridiculous. The whole situation was ridiculous. And he was making himself crazy thinking about it.
But nothing changed.
The weekend passed. Sandy moped around the house, and so did he. Reeves kept walking around pretending that nothing was wrong, but Dan could tell that even the old gentleman’s gentleman was upset.
Dan talked to Sandy again. He reminded her that she and Jarod were planning a future—the rest of their lives—together. That whether he and Jarod were best friends or not really didn’t matter, but that whether the two of them got along did.
Dan decided—in silence—that if Jarod didn’t come around to see him by the next weekend, he would go find the boy. Sandy couldn’t be any more unhappy than she already was, and hell, Kelly wasn’t speaking to him anyway. And beyond a doubt, Jarod deserved a good walloping.
To aggravate Dan’s feelings of injustice, Sandy was feeling sick, because she was pregnant.
Boy, when I get my hands on you…he vowed silently.
On Wednesday night, everything changed.
Sandy came home nearly hysterical. Dan wasn’t there when she came in from school, but he came back to find Reeves frantic, because Sandy had come in crying, slammed into her room, stayed there for a few minutes—then run out. And he didn’t know where she was.
Dan went out looking for her. He found her walking toward town and got her into the car, where she promptly burst into tears. Dan decided that he could quite happily take a shotgun to Jarod McGraw.
He took her home, but it was still over an hour before he could get Sandy to talk to him. Then Sandy didn’t want to shut up.
She walked around the room and ranted and raved and said that Jarod thought he was Mr. Macho and he was a cheat and he was awful and she had made the biggest mistake of her life and she wasn’t sure if she even wanted to live. She didn’t want the baby, and she didn’t want any part of Jarod.
In the end Dan discovered that it was all because Jarod had been talking to a redheaded cheerleader. To his credit, Dan stayed fairly calm. He was convinced that Jarod had purposely tried to make Sandy jealous because Sandy had been giving him the silent treatment.
He calmed her down, then decided that this was the time to find Jarod himself. But when he picked up the phone to call the McGraw house, he stopped. Sandy was already on the line—to Jarod. She sounded cool, sophisticated, regal—the perfect lady.
He hung up. Sandy could clearly handle this one herself.
A few minutes later he heard her hang up. A second after that, the phone rang. Dan picked it up.
“Dan, Mr. Marquette! You can’t let her do it! Please, sir, you can’t.”
“Who is this?” Dan asked, smiling. He knew perfectly well who it was, but the boy deserved to squirm a little.
“Me. Jarod. Sandy is mad at me over some little thing—”
“Jarod, this is not ‘some little thing.’ Son—”
“I’m sorry!” Jarod exclaimed. “Oh, God, I’m sorry! Sir, you don’t understand. I know I offended you, but you see, you’ve proved my point. You really don’t care anything about my mother—”
“We’re getting off the real subject here, Jarod, but a son who loves his mother does not refer to her as a whore. And that goes whether you want to consider me Mr. Right or not. And your behavior toward me—”
“Please, I’m sorry! Please—”
“I think you owe your mother the apology.”
There was silence for a minute.
“Yes, sir,” he said very softly. “Yes, sir, I know that. I owe you both an apology. But Dan—Mr. Marquette—sir! Please, you’ve got to help me. Sandy is thinking of giving up the baby. She can’t do that! That baby is mine, too. She has no right—”
“Maybe she doesn’t. Decisions regarding the baby should be made by the two of you.” He hesitated. “On this, Jarod, I do agree with you. The baby is yours, as much as it’s Sandy’s.”
“Mr. Marquette, she says that she’s going to go take care of the paperwork right now. Please, don’t let her leave the house. Not until I get there.”
“I’ll try.”
“I know that she respects you. I know that if you tell her not to leave that house, she won’t. Please—”
“Don’t beg, Jarod. I don’t want you to grovel!”
There was a silence. Then Jarod said softly, “What do you want, Mr. Marquette?”
“Respect, a right to live my own life, and a right to privacy. And an apology to your mother.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll—I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
Dan hung up the phone, smiling. Sandy came out of her room and smiled back at him. Tears were gone, and she suddenly looked completely serene.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“He’s on his way over here, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
She flew across the room and threw her arms around him. “I love you, Dad!”
“And you love Jarod, too, huh, baby?”
She nodded, beautiful eyes wide.
“As mad as I’ve been at Jarod, Sandy, I believe with all my heart that he loves you.”
She nodded. Then she smiled. “And you love her, don’t you? Kelly. You love Kelly.”
“Yeah. I think I do, babe. I think I do.”
CHAPTER 12
She was lying on her bed, one arm cast over her eyes. She should have been downstairs, working. Daryl the Devilish Dragon had only pretended to help Esmeralda the Fairy Queen and now all hell was breaking loose in the kingdom. The White knights were being sent out, but Daryl had imps on his teams, and havoc was in store.
Kelly rolled over and thought about Daryl. She should have made him a frog. Then, at some point, Esmeralda could have looked into those dark eyes, fallen madly in love and then kissed him—and he could have turned into a prince.
“Prince! Hah!”
Yes, she should have been downstairs, working, but she was in a state of absolute panic. Lying on her bed and waiting. Afraid to walk back into the bathroom and look at the vial to see what color the paper strip had turned.
“I can’t be!” She whispered the words, and she couldn’t help but remember the first time she had whispered them.
She was older now, and supposedly wiser, but all that had done for her was to warn her that saying “I can’t be!” couldn’t make “not” if she “was.”
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
And what are you going to do about it?
She couldn’t think about that. She didn’t dare.
My God, she thought anyway. I got married once because I had to, and it’s the most awful reason in the world. It isn’t fair—it really isn’t fair—that it should happen twice….
She got up, but she didn’t quite make it to the bathroom. She gripped the dresser, because a wave of dizziness seized her, and it had nothing to do with the condition she might or might not be in. What did she mean, she couldn’t do it again? What were her choices, her optio
ns? And would Dan even think about marrying her? It wasn’t the same again. It was eighteen years later, and this was an entirely new game.
She had finally gotten through college; her career was established; she had things going in the right direction now. Jarod and Sandy didn’t have any of these things—as of this moment, they didn’t even have high school diplomas.
Which was completely beside the point, Kelly thought. They weren’t the problem—she was. And she wasn’t even sure. To be sure, she had to walk into the bathroom and look to see what color the little strip of paper had turned. Then, she reminded herself, she would be sure.
She managed to walk into the bathroom.
“Ahh!” The paper wasn’t the color she wanted it to be.
Holding the sink, she sank down to sit on the commode. The test could be wrong. It wasn’t foolproof. She could see her doctor, and he could tell her that…
She stared at the vial again, frowning. Actually, the paper wasn’t any color that it was supposed to be. What did that mean? It wasn’t nice and clear, and it wasn’t pastel pink.
“I’m not pregnant; I’ve scared myself into a tizzy,” she assured herself.
But what if she was?
She felt crazy. She couldn’t think.
“Mom!”
She closed her eyes, vaguely aware of Jarod calling her. She leaned over the sink and splashed cold water against her face.
She was falling apart. The sane thing to do was to give the doctor a call and tell him that the test hadn’t turned any particular color and ask what that meant.
“Mother!”
Oh, no, Jarod was there. Right there in her bedroom, and on his way closer.
Was there no escape from this tall, handsome and at one time fairly sane child? First her love life went to pot on his account—once she had finally achieved one—and now he was right on top of her, about to view the results of that love life.
It was just too much. He went out and got a girl pregnant, then dragged her father home to get his mother pregnant. It was laughable, really. Hysterical, that was what it was.
“Mom, I’m going out. I’ve got to get over to Sandy’s. She hasn’t spoken to me for over a week. And today all I did was pass the time of day with Brenda and I had Sandy on the phone telling me she wouldn’t marry me if I were the last guy on earth. I’m afraid of what—of what she might do.”
“Jarod, I don’t think that Sandy really wants to do anything about the baby,” Kelly managed to tell him. She had to get rid of the little vial. Subtly, before Jarod saw it.
“I’ll kill her if she does. I’ll wring her neck. I’ll—”
“Jarod, I’m sure she didn’t mean it. She was trying to make you jealous. Or maybe she wanted you to give her father an apology, which, God knows, he deserves.”
“She doesn’t have the right!”
“Jarod, damn it, then go talk to her! You said you were leaving, so go!”
He nodded; he was about to turn around. But then he stopped, his eyes widening. “What is that? What are you doing?”
“Nothing.”
“That isn’t nothing. That’s a—a—Mother!”
“Oh, Jarod, please…”
“You’re pregnant!”
“Jarod—”
“By a man!”
“That’s usually the way it happens.”
“No, not a man—that man. Him. Dan. Marquette! Oh, my God! Mom, I warned you!”
“Jarod, I’m not. I just proved that I’m not.”
He stared at her, ashen-faced. Fear for what he might do suddenly seized her.
“Jarod, I’m telling you the truth! Now, please, butt out of my affairs, will you? There’s nothing to worry about.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Positive. Look, Jarod, I’m your mother, so listen to me, please. I’m fine, so will you please give me some privacy? You came running up here all upset about Sandy. I’m not asking you, I’m telling you—and I mean it! Forget about me for the time being. Go over and see Sandy; work out your problems. And don’t you dare mention my name—do you understand?”
He stared at her miserably, shaking his head.
“Jarod…”
“I’m going. I’m going to talk Sandy out of a terrible mistake.”
“Then do it, will you?” He had to leave; she had to call the doctor and ask him what the test meant.
“Okay, okay!” He gave her a curious smile, and then he was gone.
Kelly listened to his footsteps going down the stairs; then she heard the front door close. She stood up slowly and fought the wave of misery and nausea that assailed her.
With a furious oath she tossed the vial and the paper and everything else involved with the test into the garbage. She kept swearing at herself all the way down the stairs to the kitchen.
How could she have let something like this happen? She? He! It was his fault. His stupid fault. Wasn’t he supposed to have said something about protection the very first time?
Kelly reached the kitchen and leaned her forehead against the cool refrigerator door. The very first time they had just stared at each other and said inane things. There had been a dangerous rapist running around outside, and they hadn’t even worried about it!
We didn’t know, she reminded herself.
Even if they had, it wouldn’t have changed anything.
Nothing had mattered; it had been that simple. They had touched, and that had been that.
Who the hell could get pregnant from one lousy night?
Lots of women through the ages, she assured herself sagely. And then she kicked the refrigerator. It wasn’t fair! She thought back to high school. Tina Norman had messed around all the time, she’d admitted to all kinds of carelessness, and she’d never been caught! It wasn’t fair!
Especially not twice in a lifetime.
Kelly groaned aloud, not because she had hurt her toe—which she had—but because she just couldn’t believe her own stupidity. She was thirty-five years old! She couldn’t have been foolish enough to get into this situation again!
But she had been. She had wanted him so badly that night. So desperately. It had been magic; it had been the culmination of all her fantasies. He’d swept her right off her feet, and she had adored it—and him.
She smiled a little bitterly. A love affair, easily begun, easily ended. What would it be like if they were still speaking? Would she have told him about her fears? Would she have asked him to hold her hand while she waited for the minutes to pass before she could check on her test?
I’m in love with him, she thought suddenly, and the emotion was both painful and sweet. She asked herself sternly if it wasn’t the fact that she was afraid she might be pregnant that made her feel that way. It wasn’t. She had been upset; she had been angry; she had been hurt. But she was still in love with him. She was stubborn and he was temperamental, but that didn’t change her love.
She finally swung the door open. She needed a good stiff drink. Wrong side. She closed the refrigerator and opened the freezer to get some ice.
Bourbon. She needed straight bourbon. She could have cried, except that she was too old to cry. A drink would take away the pain. It would help her think and plan.
She poured bourbon over ice, her hands shaking. She couldn’t do it again. She just couldn’t do it again. She couldn’t get married because she had to. If there was anything between her and Dan, it had to be allowed to grow. She just couldn’t go through another shotgun wedding.
She brought the bourbon to her lips, but she couldn’t drink it. If she was pregnant, the last thing she should have was a drink.
She had to think. What were her alternatives?
The words shrieked across her mind. Everyone knew the alternatives. She didn’t have to marry Dan. She could have the child, then give it up for adoption. Or she could…
Oh, get serious. If he ever found out, he’d wring her neck.
Or would he? Maybe he would be relieved. He probably had absolutel
y no interest in marriage. Maybe he’d ever rather have her get rid of the child. If there was a child…
Kelly swallowed sharply. Why was she panicking? She didn’t even know if she was pregnant yet. She quickly hastened to the phone and called the doctor’s office. His nurse promised that he would call her right back.
To Kelly’s surprise and vast relief, he did.
“Dr. Barker here, Kelly. What’s the problem?
“I, uh…” She hesitated for a second, then plunged in. She told him the brand name of the test, and explained about the strange color.
“I get more calls on that darn test,” he said. “No, Kelly, you aren’t pregnant. If you’re late, it’s probably because you’ve worked yourself into a state. In fact, I’ll bet you’re feeling better already.”
She didn’t really know what she felt. She was so surprised and relieved that she sank to the floor, holding the receiver.
“Kelly?”
“Yes, I’m here. Thank you.”
“Sure thing.” He went on to recommend a more reliable test, should she ever want to try it again. Kelly thanked him—dryly, this time—and hung up.
She stayed on the floor for several moments. She was very relieved. Really.
But her lips curled into a soft smile. Maybe she was just a tiny bit disappointed, too.
* * *
It wasn’t that he had meant to lie to her; he hadn’t. It was just that it was impossible to do as she asked, and with each block that he drove, Jarod felt a greater, more consuming fear—and fury.
Sandy was out front, waiting for him. Jarod was glad that she was alone, but it wouldn’t really have mattered. He’d never felt so aggressive and hostile in his life, not even on a football field. He thundered up to Sandy, took both of her hands and drew her roughly against him. “Forget it, do you hear me—”
“Jarod McGraw, I—”
“Sandy, forget it. I mean it. I don’t care how mad you get; I don’t care what idiotic things you’re thinking or feeling. Don’t ever, ever even consider such a stupid thing again. Sandy, our wedding is less than two months away. We’re going to get married. And we’re not going to be playing house. We’ll be together for the rest of our lives—and that baby’s life, too. I swear, Sandy, that if I even suspect you’re thinking such a thing again, I’ll drag you out of this house—father or not!—and shackle you to my wrist until that baby is born. Do you understand?”
All in the Family Page 17