by Meg Maxwell
“Well, the Blue Gulch movie theater has two movies. One’s a romantic comedy and one is heavy-duty action. Your pick.”
She grinned. “Definitely the romantic comedy.”
As the waitress delivered their appetizers, he wondered again if she’d go home when their time together was over. Despite the glamorous look, he could envision her in the Amish community, back in her overalls or loose, long dress and bonnet, finding her own adventure in a simple lifestyle because of how her mind worked. And he could imagine her here, in his world. What he couldn’t imagine was Anna on a date with a man—in either world. Actually, he could imagine it. He just hated the thought.
“Did you look at your other three wishes?” she asked. “The ones you took from the Santa’s Elves box this morning?”
“No, but they’re folded up in my wallet.” He pulled his wallet from the inside pocket of his jacket and smoothed the three slips of paper. “First one says, ‘Dear Santa, please bring me a dump truck for Christmas. A yellow one. Thanks, Santa. You are the best! From Ethan Plotowsky, age seven.’” Colt smiled. “One yellow dump truck coming right up, Ethan Plotowsky.” He put that one away and looked at the next. “‘I’m looking for a volunteer to help out in the kitchen the week leading up to Christmas for Hurley’s Homestyle Kitchen’s annual holiday-season deliveries to county homeless shelters and soup kitchens. If you can lend a hand, just an hour, see Essie Hurley. Please leave this in the box—I can use all the volunteers I can get.’ Oops,” he said. “I’ll drop this back in after dinner.”
“Maybe we could help out,” Anna said. “The twins tend to nap at around nine thirty every morning for a good hour and a half. They could nap in their strollers while we slice and dice and whatever else needs doing.”
“They might be unpredictable, though,” Colt said. “But we can try. I wouldn’t mind learning how to make food anywhere near close as Hurley’s does.”
“What’s the third wish?”
He put the second one away and read the last wish, and his heartstrings pulled. “It says, ‘My name is Devin Lomax. I’m in sixth grade. My dad is in the army and can’t come home for Christmas. He was supposed to help me get better at basketball, but I stink and didn’t make the team at school. Can Santa send me a coach? My mom is a police officer and said Santa should send a coach to the Blue Gulch PD to talk to her about it. From Devin.’ I was on the basketball team in middle school,” Colt said. “I wouldn’t mind helping the kid out.”
“You have a big heart, Colt,” Anna said.
“Eh, I have some free time while I’m here.”
The waitress delivered their entrées, and they dug in. Colt told Anna about all the different ethnic foods he’d tried over the years. They talked so easily, Anna laughing over fumbling with her chopsticks, Colt dropping a shrimp he stole from her entrée on his lap, and he barely realized there were other people around them. To him it felt like they were the only two people in the world.
After dinner, they returned Essie’s wish to the Santa’s Elves box, then headed to the movie theater, and despite the film being so corny that Colt laughed twice when the scene wasn’t meant to be funny, he actually enjoyed the movie and was glad the two leads finally got together in the end. As if they wouldn’t!
“I wasn’t so sure,” Anna said as they left the theater. “You never know.”
“Oh, come on. It’s Hollywood. Land of the happy ending.”
“Yes, but sometimes a satisfying ending works, too.”
“I would not have been satisfied if Dirk didn’t end up with Suzannah. In fact, I would have thrown my bucket of popcorn at the screen and yelled, ‘Boooo!’”
Anna laughed. “Colt Asher, you are proving yourself over and over to be a romantic.”
“Me? No way. I just want my money’s worth from a film. Action movie, I expect the hero to be alive at the end. Romantic comedy? The couple should be kissing and holding hands when the credits roll.”
She slipped her hand into his and kissed his cheek, then burst into a grin. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”
But she didn’t let go of his hand. And he didn’t pull away. He liked how her soft hand felt in his. And he liked being physically connected to her. He liked too much about this woman. You’d better take a big step backward, Asher. You’re not in this for any kind of happy ending. You’re gone in a week. Don’t lead her on. Don’t give her expectations.
He might be flattering himself that Anna was even interested in an older, world-weary FBI agent, but the way she looked at him sometimes, like during dinner, like now, made him well aware that she was interested. More than interested. She had feelings for him. And he’d better be damn careful with those feelings.
* * *
As it was nearing midnight and they’d be picking up the twins at six thirty, Colt suggested they head back to the inn. Anna was not disappointed. In fact, for the past hour, when they’d been having a glass of wine at the bar of a fancy restaurant, she’d wanted to say, “Let’s go back to the inn and make mad, passionate love all night.” Or whatever it was that people actually said. But she knew they’d end up back at the inn eventually and she’d make her move.
They tiptoed in so as not to wake the proprietor, whose apartment was also on the first floor but toward the front of the building.
“Nightcap on your patio?” she asked as they approached their hallway. Upon check-in, they’d found a bottle of wine, two wineglasses and a basket of crackers and chocolates in each of their rooms. “It’s such a beautiful, special night. I can’t bear for it to end.”
That was the truth and it just came right out of her mouth.
He looked at her, and for a moment she was afraid he was going to say that they had to be up early in the morning and had better call it a night. She’d gotten to know this man too well. What he was really thinking was probably: You’re a virgin. Another glass of wine, lowered inhibitions, and I won’t be able to control myself.
She sure hoped not.
She had no doubt that he wanted her as bad as she wanted him. The way he’d looked at her in the bar, how his gaze had traveled every now and then to the curves of her dress...
“Anna, maybe we should call it a—”
“No, we definitely should not call it a night. I’ll tell you why in your room.”
He raised an eyebrow and unlocked the door.
Once inside, Anna closed the door and locked it. His eyebrow shot up again.
“I’m listening,” he said.
She wasn’t going to blurt out that she wanted him to make love to her. That she wanted her first time to be with him. He’d run for the hills. She’d have to show him.
She backed him up against the door and pressed against him, sliding her arms around his neck. “I’ve wanted to kiss you all night, Colt.” She lifted her chin, her three-inch heels making her just perfect kissing height for the six-foot-plus man. She wasn’t going to throw herself at him—okay, she just did, but she’d take her step back here, let him follow up her first move. If he didn’t, she’d go back to her room with her tail between her legs and stare at the babies’ cribs and playpens and bottles all night, reminding herself that she was the nanny and not the girlfriend.
What would he do? Walk away? Respond? He stared at her, intensity in his green eyes. Then he brought his hands up to her face and kissed her, hard and passionately, crushing her against the door. Her knees almost buckled as pure desire lit up all her nerve endings. Her hands snaked through his silky hair, and suddenly he picked her up and carried her to the bed, laying her down and covering her with his body, his mouth never leaving hers.
Her hands slid down his chest to try to unbutton his shirt. She couldn’t wait to feel his naked chest against hers. But he sat up suddenly and turned toward the door.
“Anna, I won’t take advantage of you.”
/> “How are you taking advantage of me? I’m a grown woman, Colt. I’m saying yes loud and clear.”
“You want a one-night stand? A three-night stand? After I bring my nephews back home, I’m gone, Anna. I’ve made that very clear.”
Dammit. She did want it all—to have her first time be with Colt, despite knowing this wouldn’t be the start of a relationship. And to have a relationship. To have him. Forever. Conundrum.
“I want my first time to be with you,” she said before she could stop herself.
“Why?” he asked. “And I don’t want you to answer that. I just want you to think about it.”
“How dare you!” she snapped, scrambling off his bed. “I know my own mind, Colt Asher. Don’t patronize me or condescend to me.”
He stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t ask me to deflower you when you know I’ll be out of your life in a few days. You think it means nothing to me to take your virginity?”
“What does it mean?” she asked.
“It means responsibility. To your feelings. How could you possibly know how you’ll feel in the morning, Anna? You’ve never had sex before. Suddenly you’re going to make love for the first time and think you can be all casual about it? Separate your feelings from the act?”
“You can.”
He stared at her. “Exactly. And I’m not willing to take advantage of your inexperience, Anna. That’s not being condescending. It’s being...honorable.”
She could feel steam reaching the boiling point in her ears. “Sorry I don’t have a medal for you!” she said through gritted teeth and stalked to the door. She wanted to slam it so badly but the moment she saw the silver-and-white beadboard wall across the hall with the painting of a bull rider, she remembered she was at the inn with guests upstairs.
Ugh, had they all heard their argument? She’d die of embarrassment to face them at breakfast in the morning.
Oh, look, hon, there’s the virgin and the man who wouldn’t have sex with her because he doesn’t want the histrionics that’ll surely follow.
She pulled the door closed and went into her room and locked the door, then sat at the window seat and stared out at the night.
Colt was half-right, which added to how upset she was. She didn’t know how she’d feel in the morning. She didn’t know if one amazing night of passion with Colt Asher would make her feel even more for him than she already did. How could it not? They’d be physically joined.
But just because she’d waited until age twenty-four to have her first time didn’t mean she was waiting for her husband to be the first. She knew Colt would be out of her life in days. She’d be starting her life as an Englisher on her own. She’d date. Maybe she’d have lots of boyfriends. If she was going to have her first time, why not with a man she was madly in love with? Even if she had to say goodbye to him in a few days?
Because of everything Colt had said.
Dammit.
She got up and stood in the front of the mirror, leaning close to look at her beautiful earrings, her gift from him. She took off the dress and hung it up, kicked off her sexy shoes and removed the lacy black bra he never did see. She put on a T-shirt and yoga pants and headed into the bathroom, staring at her face in the mirror and the hint of makeup still there. Colt had kissed away the lipstick. She washed off the eyeliner and mascara and looked at herself again, hoping for some grand epiphany now that she was the same old Anna she’d always been, scrubbed clean.
But she wasn’t the same old Anna.
Chapter Eleven
The next morning Anna was back in her borrowed jeans and borrowed sweater and her own lace-up boots. Colt knocked on her door at six fifteen and she gave him a quick, tight smile.
“Morning,” he said.
Why did he have to look so incredibly gorgeous and sexy? He wore a navy blue henley shirt and dark jeans and cowboy boots. She blinked away the memories of him kissing her, holding her, pressing her against the door, the bed.
Speak, Anna. “Morning.”
“I want to make a pit stop at the coffee shop and bring bagels and pastries to Jake’s ranch as a thank-you for taking the babies all day and night. Shouldn’t take too long.”
“Nice idea.”
No one listening to this dull, clipped conversation would have any idea that for about five minutes last night, these two people had been all over each other, kissing like it was their last day on earth, hands roaming everywhere. She almost smiled when she recalled the way Colt had picked her up and carried her to the bed, but the smile faded at the I-won’t-take-advantage-of-you line.
They barely spoke at the coffee shop, except for Colt to ask what she wanted. With coffees in hand and a big box of treats and a bag of bagels with three kinds of cream cheese, they got into Colt’s car. As she buckled her seat belt she was too aware of him, how close he was, the smell of his shampoo, same as hers.
“Look, Colt, before we arrive at the ranch, let’s get the awkwardness out of the way so we don’t act all weird in front of Jake and Emma.”
He turned toward her, setting his cup in the console. “Once again, I appreciate that you say it like it is. I probably would have kept the awkwardness going.”
Sigh. That was the problem.
Or was it? It wasn’t like Colt hadn’t acknowledged the crazy attraction between them; he’d kissed her, after all. Then he’d called things to a screeching halt because he’d also acknowledged that the aftermath would be an ugly cry-fest—on her part.
“I’m going to look you in the eye in the bright light of morning and tell you that I want you to be my first,” she said. “I want you to introduce me to the wonders of sex. In a few more days we’ll go our separate ways. No expectations. No tears. Just wonderful memories.”
He narrowed his green eyes at her. “How do you know there won’t be expectations? Or tears? On my part.”
She laughed. “Is that a joke? Because it’s not funny and I hate that I laughed anyway.”
His smile was so beautiful that she wanted to reach out and touch his cheek. “Anna, this is new for me too. I’m an FBI agent who works alone. Suddenly I have a nanny who I feel responsible for—for many reasons. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t have feelings for you. I do.”
She gasped. “I knew it.”
He covered her hand with his for a moment then picked up his coffee and took a sip. “I think you’re amazing, Anna. And I’m obviously very attracted to you. I’m not going to just forget about you because I’m back in the field, chasing mobsters.”
“So you don’t want to sleep with me to protect yourself?” she asked.
“I’m just saying I think it’s a bad idea for both of us. Let’s just keep things on a professional level and then no one gets hurt. We go our separate ways with a clear head and good thoughts.”
He was awfully focused on going his separate way. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe she had to chip away at the idea—that he had to be all lone-wolf in the first place. Why couldn’t he accept his feelings for her and act on them? Why deny?
He started the ignition and pulled away so she let him focus on driving instead of the conversation. Now that she had a new tactic for reaching him, she felt less off balance. She liked having a plan.
* * *
Colt loved the Full Circle Ranch. When he’d read in CJ Morrow’s initial email that his brother—their mutual brother—Jake was a successful rancher and owned a spread in Blue Gulch, Texas, he’d been surprised that his twin was a cowboy. Colt had no idea what he’d expected of Jake—maybe that he’d be in law enforcement like him. Which was silly. Just because they were twins didn’t mean they had anything in common. Though from spending just a little time with Jake, Colt saw similarities in little things.
As Colt pulled up to the ranch house, magazine-ready with a
big red barn beside it and hundreds of acres of pasture and woodland, his twin came outside, a baby in each arm.
Anna smiled. “I’ve missed those cuties.”
“Me, too.” He glanced at her. “And that doesn’t mean I should suddenly become a father—if that’s what you were about to say. It just means I haven’t seen my baby nephews in twenty-four hours—when I’m responsible for them—and I’m glad to see them.” He eyed Anna to see if she accepted that or if she was giving him the uh-huh, whatever-you-say look. He couldn’t tell. She only had eyes for Noah and Nathaniel at the moment.
Colt and Anna got out of the car and each took a baby, smothering them with kisses and nuzzles as if it had been weeks since they’d last seen the twins. Jake laughed.
Colt wasn’t even embarrassed. He really was going a bit soft. “You get used to being with the babies twenty-four/seven and an overnight away from them feels really weird.”
“I know what you mean,” Jake said. “Last week a flash flood stranded me overnight on an auction trip. I almost went out of my mind being away from Violet.”
Colt smiled. “Boys give you any trouble last night?”
“They’re easy and fun. We had a great time. Well, come on in. We’re actually just finishing up breakfast. We got a late start this morning. You’ll meet the entire crew.”
Colt and Anna followed Jake inside to the dining room. Five men and Emma, who was the ranch cook aside from being Jake’s wife, were seated around the dining room table. One man immediately jumped up and got two more chairs from around a corner.
“Thanks, Golden,” Jake said. “Colt, Anna, there’s a playpen next to Violet’s in the corner—why don’t you set the boys down for a bit and have a seat and help yourself to breakfast.”
“We come bearing bagels and cream cheese and pastries,” Anna said, setting out the baked goods on an empty platter.
“Ooh, is that veggie cream cheese?” one of the older men asked. “Fern is after me to eat more veggies.” He took a sesame bagel half and smeared it with the cream cheese.