by April Lust
“It doesn’t matter how I feel,” Trey pleaded. He stepped forward and I took another step back. “If that’s what’s in their heads, that’s how they’re going to act. It doesn’t matter what we are to each other, but if they think you’re important to me, well, it’s going to be bad news for you and for Chuckie.”
Tears sprang to my eyes and I blinked, looking up at the ceiling and willing them away. I had been right all along. Trey didn’t really care; he only felt obligated. He wasn’t protecting me because he loved me. He was protecting me to save face with the Centerville police and keep his club legitimate. My mouth hardened into a thin line and I swung the bag over my shoulder.
“Later, Trey,” I said softly. “Stay safe.”
Trey’s footsteps followed me out of the room as I stalked down the hallway and grabbed Chuckie from the kitchen. He had a spoon stuck in a jar of peanut butter and he was doing a messy job of smearing it all over his face. I sighed in irritation.
“Can’t you stay clean for five fucking minutes?” I snapped under my breath before turning to speak to Chuckie. “We’re leaving. Go wash your face.”
Chuckie grinned, oblivious to my bad mood. “We’re going? Are we going out to dinner?” His voice rose loudly. “I’m so excited!”
“No,” I snapped. “We’re going home. We’re not going to stay with Trey anymore.”
Chuckie’s face crumpled and I felt guilt surge through my body. “But I like it here,” he said, pouting. “I want to stay.”
“And I want you both to stay,” Trey’s voice boomed from behind me. “Come on, Angel. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” I said, breezing past him and dragging Chuckie out the door. “We have to go home now. Thank you very much for your hospitality, Trey. Let me know if I owe you anything for all of the food we ate.” I glared at Chuckie. “Someone thought it was a good idea to contaminate all of your peanut butter.”
“That doesn’t matter,” Trey said in a strangled voice. His eyes were pleading with me not to go but I steeled my resolve and walked out the front door.
Trey Minter was history. Now, more than ever, I hated myself for succumbing to his charms again. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to forgive myself.
“Mom, why are we leaving?” Chuckie pestered me once I had him seated in the car. “Why can’t we stay?”
“Because this isn’t our home,” I told him as I slid out of Trey’s driveway. “And we don’t belong here.”
Chapter 19
Trey
Shaking my head in disbelief, I watched as Angel dragged Chuckie out the door. He looked back at me with a reproachful glance and I felt my heart shrivel in my chest at the sight of his wide, trusting eyes. He was scared and upset; I could tell, and I barely knew him. My heart broke for the kid, and I didn’t understand why Angel was so hell-bent on leaving. Sure, I’d been trying to hurt her. But didn’t she understand why for fuck’s sake?
I sat down and cracked a beer, pouring most of it down my throat without even tasting it. Damn her. Damn her to hell. If she wanted to walk out, if she wanted to leave…I shook my head angrily. No. No, it wasn’t going to be like this. Not this time. I was going to do it right; I was going to get my girl, and my son, and tell them they were staying with me. If she didn’t listen, I’d pick them both up and carry them off. A hint of a smile crept across my lips as I imagined Angel kicking and screaming. I could heft her easily — even though she was tall, she still weighed less than half of me. Besides, all of her protests would just be for show. I knew now how much she loved me. If she didn’t love me, she wouldn’t want to be a family, right?
Or maybe she just feels guilty about fucking up so badly in the past, a little voice said in the back of my head. I frowned. Just when I started to feel like I’d gotten Angel figured out, everything felt confusing again. There were still so many questions without answers, so many things I wanted to know. Like, why hadn’t Angel tried to find me before now? Why hadn’t she decided giving Chuckie a father was important? It was enough to make my head spin. I decided after all of this had calmed down, I’d have a good long talk with Angel. We’d sit down and get everything out on the table.
When I finished my beer, I belched loudly and threw the bottle in the sink. It shattered against the ceramic with a satisfying crackling sound. Grimly, I walked over to the door and started tugging my boots on. I was going to go after them, and with any luck, I’d catch up before something else happened. If I didn’t…well, that was bad news, too. But either way, I knew I had to try. Angel and Chuckie were mine, dammit, and I was going to rightfully claim them as such.
The day outside was sunny and bright. There couldn’t have been a more direct contrast to my feelings if I’d willed it into life. Just as I was climbing on my hog and stroking it to life, my phone buzzed in my pocket. My heart swelled; it had to be Angel! Telling me she realized her mistake, telling me she was coming back to be mine forever.
A cloud passed over my brain when I pulled out the mobile and saw Ram’s number. Uh oh. This couldn’t be good.
“Hey, man,” I said quickly. “This isn’t a good time, I have to go after the girl and her son.”
There was a pause. I frowned. “Ram? Are you there?”
Ram coughed, breaking the awkward silence between us. “Yeah, man, I’m here,” Ram said softly. “Listen, something bad happened to Wolf. He’s in the hospital. He was beaten up and left for dead on the side of the road. You need to go see him.”
I sighed in irritation. Wolf was one of the guys I’d talked to just last night about Angel and Chuckie. Had he been a target? More importantly, had he spilled? “Man, this really isn’t a good time,” I repeated. “Angel and her kid could be in danger, and I need to go after them.”
Ram cleared his throat again. “I know you don’t want to go see him right now, but he’s got some stuff to tell you,” Ram added.
Suddenly, I got a dark feeling in my chest, like my lungs were filling with wet concrete. It was almost impossible to breathe, and I had to put the phone away and turn my head to the bright sky. My hands got clammy and I could feel my heart pounding like a drum in my chest. Was this what panic felt like? I’d never felt such weird, strange anxiety before. And as much as I knew I had to get to Angel and Chuckie, I knew Ram was right. He wouldn’t have called unless something was really wrong.
I frowned. Did this mean Wolf had ratted? Fuck! Climbing back on my bike, I gunned it into gear and pointed it in the direction of the hospital. I’m sorry, Angel, I thought. I’m coming soon. Just hold on for a little bit longer.
Rationally, I knew nothing could have happened to Angel and Chuckie in the short time since they’d left. But the other part of me knew nothing was rational anymore. Nothing was making sense, and the world had flipped upside down. Damien’s men could have jumped on Angel as soon as she was off my property. I shivered when I thought of how quickly Randy and Nick had come for her the last time she’d wandered off. My hands gripped the handlebars of my bike with such ferocity that my fingers felt numb. Why did she have to be so goddamn stupid sometimes? Why couldn’t she just have listened to me?
“Damn women,” I growled as my bike sped up and rounded a turn.
The hospital was looming just head and I had a sudden thought of sympathy for Wolf. It wasn’t like him to allow himself to be taken to the hospital, no matter how bad things got. The Skullbreakers had a code: we took care of our own; we never let ourselves into the hospital. Hospitals asked too many questions. For every helpful doctor, there were about fifteen nosy nurses who were dying to know where the bullets came from, or what the tattoos meant, or something else we couldn’t have possibly answered.
“I need to see Wolf,” I barked at the young nurse sitting behind the front desk.
She blinked at me with wide, guileless blue eyes. “Who?” She squinted at me. “Who are you talking about? Are you immediate family?”
“I’m his fucking brother,” I roared, beating my hand against the Skullbre
akers patch on the front of my vest. “Now let me the fuck in!”
The girl blinked at me and she trembled. “There was a guy brought in a few hours ago,” she said in a soft, shaky voice. “He’s down around the corridor,” she added, pointing with a slim, pale finger that reminded me of Angel’s. “You can’t stay more than an hour!” she called after me as I stalked down the hallway.
“Fuck off,” I muttered under my breath. Dealing with bitches like her was just one of the many reasons why I never liked hospitals.
Wolf was propped up in bed. He was in a bad way: one of his eyes was so swollen it was shut. But when he saw me, he paled and somehow managed to look even more terrified than he had a few seconds prior. “Oh man, Trey,” Wolf whimpered. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry, man. I didn’t mean to!”
He trembled as I stepped closer and I frowned. A cold, liquid sense of dread rushed through my body as I glanced down at his helpless frame on the stark hospital bed. “What the fuck happened?” I growled through gritted teeth.
Wolf trembled. He didn’t answer. I leaned forward and snapped my fingers. Injured or no, I suddenly had a bad feeling about this. Why wasn’t he telling me what happened? This, combined with Ram’s reticence on the phone, was definitely making me think the worst had happened. And what if something happened to Angel while I was here, looking in on Wolf? What if they’d just roughed him up as a decoy, to get me out of the way?
“Trey,” Wolf said through swollen lips. “Trey, I am so fuckin’ sorry,” he repeated. His bloodless cheeks looked like those of a corpse. “I didn’t mean to,” he said softly. “I’m so sorry.”
“Cut the shit, Wolf. You better fuckin’ clue me in right now or you’re gonna be sorry.”
Wolf gulped. “They jumped me,” he croaked. I had to lean in closer to hear and I could smell him from where I stood – like blood and shit and grease and dirt. I wrinkled my nose.
“Get on with it.”
“They jumped me when I was on my bike,” Wolf said. He closed his eyes. “They surrounded me and forced me off the road.”
“And then?”
“They tortured me,” Wolf said. He held up his hand, engulfed in a cast. I could see the tips of his fingers were blue and swollen. “They broke my fingers, one by one.”
I swallowed nervously, not liking where this was going. “What did you tell them?”
Wolf gasped as I clutched his broken hand. “I told them about the girl,” he said, looking away.
Rage surged through my body and I closed my eyes, tilting my head back. Every cell in my body wanted to make Wolf pay for what he’d done, for how he’d betrayed me. His leader.
“Tell me more,” I urged. “Tell me or you’re dead, Wolf.” Leaning down over the bed, I glared at him. “You’re gonna be lucky if you walk away with your life after this,” I added. “You might just walk away with those damn fingers intact.”
Wolf gulped again. “I told them about her son,” he added, closing his good eye and reclining against the starchy pillows. “I told them they were both with you. I told them. I’m so sorry, Trey. I’m so sorry, man. I never meant to hurt you!” His voice was rising to a hysterical fever pitch but I just felt nauseated.
Wolf, one of the guys in the MC I’d trusted the most, had betrayed me so horribly that I couldn’t stand it. All thoughts of Angel and Chuckie were momentarily forgotten as I relished the thought of paying Wolf back for his transgressions. And for broken fucking fingers? What a complete pussy.
“I never want to see you again,” I said in a low, level voice. “I want you to disappear. If you’re not gone, you’re going to wish you were,” I said, leaning down over Wolf’s prone frame. My heart was beating viciously in my chest and hot anger was filling every pore. “And if I see you again, you’re dead. You got that?”
Wolf nodded. I was still angrier than I’d ever been in my entire life.
“You had one job, Wolf, and you fucked it up. You got that straight?” Wolf nodded. A tear slipped down his cheek and dripped off his chin. Pathetic. “You fucked up,” I said solemnly. “And for just broken fingers? What kind of a fucking pussy are you!” Wolf shivered but he didn’t speak. “For what you told them, I would have hoped they were cutting your fucking fingers off, man! Come the fuck on! You’re a Skullbreaker, not some kind of Wicked Pussy!” I chuckled. My anger was making me feel dangerously powerful. “Wicked Pussy,” I said, spitting on Wolf’s prone body. “That’s what you are.”
His vest was draped over the back of a hospital chair and I grabbed it and studied it. Wolf’s eyes widened as I ripped the patches off and threw them on the ground, spitting on them.
“That’s what you did to my club,” I snarled. “You fucking threw us on the ground and spit on us. You realize that?”
Wolf nodded. He was trembling. In the hospital bed, he looked like a pathetic little boy. “I’m sorry,” he repeated again.
I had to resist the urge to punch him. “Not as sorry as you’re gonna be. When everyone finds out what a pussy faggot you are, you’re gonna regret doing this for the rest of your life. Good luck finding new men to ride with, asshole.”
Spitting on Wolf again, I turned and walked out the door. Anger was still swirling in my body and I tried to rid myself of the toxic poison. But anger, much like elation, was powerful. Soon, I could feel myself swimming in it the way I’d swim in adrenaline. Anger was going to power me to get through the rest of this day. Anger at Wolf, anger at Angel for leaving. But most of all, anger at myself. After all, if I hadn’t fucked with Angel, she’d still be there, safe in my house. Wolf was a traitor, but his actions didn’t even come close to mine. I was the real villain here. And now it was up to me to fix things before they got even more fucked up.
With a heavy heart, I left the hospital. My bike was gleaming in the parking lot and I ignored the stares from bystanders as I climbed on and gunned it in the direction of Angel’s house. I had to go make things right, even if it was the last thing I did. Wolf had almost ruined my life, but I’d have to make it right.
Somehow I had to make it all right.
Chapter 20
Angel
I was still shaking with anger as I left Trey’s house. I couldn’t believe him. The rotten bastard! Of all of the bad shit he’d pulled in the past, this had to be the absolute worst. If he ever thought I was going to forgive him for screaming at me like that, he was wrong. It didn’t matter if he was the best kiss, the best fuck, the best love I’d ever felt. All of that was gone. I didn’t deserve it, anyway.
My heart tugged as I turned in my seat and looked at Chuckie. He was curled up in the passenger seat, listlessly looking out the window. He hadn’t spoken to me since we’d left Trey’s house and I wondered if he was angrier with me than he’d ever been before.
“It’ll be okay, Chuckie,” I told him, reaching out and ruffling his brown hair. Like Trey’s, I could already tell it was going to get much darker as he aged. I felt a ripple of fear go through my body. If I were hurting now, how much would I hurt when Chuckie actually looked like Trey’s spitting image? How was I going to deal with having a teenage son who looked exactly like my first love? I shuddered.
“Mom, why did we have to leave?” Chuckie fussed around in the seat until his awkward legs were sticking straight out and he was facing me. “Trey was nice to us. I liked his house, Mom.”
“I did, too,” I said. Chuckie didn’t press me for an answer again and I didn’t volunteer one. It was just like what had happened on his fifth birthday.
“Hi, sweetie,” I greeted Chuckie.
He jumped up and down in excitement, his light brown hair flopping around in the fall breeze. “Hi, Mommy!” Chuckie cheered. He’d been sitting on the ground when I’d approached but now he jumped and gazed at me with a happy grin on his face. “Do you know what today is?”
“I’m not sure,” I lied, winking at Chuckie. “Isn’t it Monday?”
“Noooo,” Chuckie wailed. He giggled and launched himself at me, wrap
ping his tiny arms around my legs and clinging on. “No, it’s not a Monday!”
“Is it Friday?” I squatted down to Chuckie’s height and ruffled his hair. “I bet it’s Friday,” I teased. “We have the whole weekend ahead of us!” I was exhausted from school and work; finishing my MLS while working part-time at the library wasn’t fun, but I didn’t see another way around it. I only had a few months left to go, and soon I’d be able to provide for Chuckie like never before. We could finally get off the food stamps, and I’d finally have a real, salaried job.
Chuckie scrunched up his eyes and shook his head. “Well, it is Friday…” he said, sounding dejected. “But it’s also something else.”
I whipped a card out from my pocket and kissed my son on the head. “I didn’t forget your birthday, silly. And I have a special surprise for you.”
Chuckie beamed like he was lit from within. “Mommy!” He hugged me so tightly that I could barely breathe. “You didn’t forget! I knew you wouldn’t forget!”