by Rula Sinara
“Thanks for bringing a car seat,” she said, focusing on the street signs they passed, rather than looking at Jack, no matter how much she wanted to. Some of the landmarks had changed since she’d last been here. It took a second to register that an entire block of trees was missing, replaced with a shopping center. But even the things that hadn’t changed brought her an uncomfortable sense of déjà vu, rather than comforting familiarity or nostalgia. And she’d forgotten how fall was her favorite season. Colors had yet to peak, but the change had begun. Still, the grass and pines were so...green. It almost seemed unfair, given how badly they needed rain back home.
“No problem. Zoe helped with that.”
Anna remembered Zoe. She’d always been kind. A sweet mom. Peppy.
“How is she?”
“Zoe’s great. I don’t know how she manages with Ben overseas, but she does. A downright Wonder Woman. She has two kids now. You probably remember Maddie? She’s really grown. Eight years old. Chad is three. Pippa will have a blast with them.”
Anna nodded and stayed quiet as Jack spoke excitedly to Pippa about everything she was seeing and everything they’d be doing.
Anna wouldn’t have a blast tonight. Jack’s entire family probably hated her for keeping Pippa from them...from Jack. Going to dinner would be like walking into the lions’ den. With her baby. This is stupid. They’ll try to keep her. No. She had to pull herself together. He’d left her with tickets. She had to keep reminding herself of that fact. He didn’t stay in Kenya long enough to leave with his daughter. He hadn’t fought her, but had trusted her to bring Pippa to see him. That had to count for something.
Anna could see her alma mater in the distance, but Jack took a left into a gated apartment community. This wasn’t anything like the student housing near campus he’d used to live in. The units here were brick-faced with white-trimmed balconies, many of which were decorated with hanging baskets of ferns and ivy. Rows of holly bushes with pansies in front of them grounded the building foundations. The sidewalks leading up to each cluster of apartments were separated by well-manicured—and fertilized—lawns. Anna had no doubt a place like this had a swimming pool tucked away for the residents. The monthly rent had to be steep.
Jack’s unit was halfway into the complex. Anna waited for him to lead the way. His apartment was masculine. Quite sparse, actually, save for floor-to-ceiling wooden bookshelves and a telescope on a stand near the balcony. A dark red afghan carpet anchored a leather sofa, an armchair with matching ottoman and a mission-style coffee table.
Anna wasn’t one for frills, so she didn’t mind at all. In fact, the couch looked so inviting she was tempted to take it over a bed. She did want privacy, though. It wasn’t until she’d reached the center of the room that she noticed the fireplace. On the mantel was a line of carved wooden elephants, arranged according to size. She’d seen similar carvings in shops in Nairobi. He’d bought the elephants there. Something pinched in her chest and she took a deep breath to gather herself. The table by the sofa had a framed picture on it. Anna stepped closer. It was of her carrying Pippa while reaching out to pet Bakhari’s trunk. They were all smiling. Even Bakhari. Anna had no idea Jack had taken that photo.
Pippa ran and jumped onto the sofa, distracting Anna. “No jumping, Pippa,” she said. She never had to worry about her breaking things at Busara. Everything was so meticulous here, she half expected Jack to say something about house rules. But instead, she turned and caught him standing in the doorway, staring at her.
He didn’t bother masking the fact that he was watching her. For a moment, Anna could have sworn she saw longing in his eyes, a tenderness she wanted to believe in. But that was nothing but the old her—the once misguidedly romantic her—surfacing for a last breath. He didn’t want her. He wanted her cooperation with Pippa, wanted to make things right. Nothing more. Which was just fine with Anna, because she no longer believed in more.
She motioned toward a pair of running shoes parked neatly by the door.
“You’ve taken up running?”
“And swimming. I’m not a total lab rat,” he said, quirking the corner of his mouth in a small, self-deprecating smile. “Pippa’s room is the first down the hall to the right,” he added. He shut the door and motioned for them to go ahead. Pippa beat them both. Jack carried their bags through a door at the end of the hall. Anna followed Pippa into her room.
Her pink room.
Very pink. Jack must have thought it was a required girl color, and that Pippa had been deprived.
Except for the gray stuffed elephants covering her bed, the walls were decorated with framed photographs he’d taken at Busara. Some were aerial views. Anna’s eyes stung. Pippa jumped onto the bed and started hugging the animals.
“Look, Mama! Can I name them?”
“Of course you can,” Jack said, coming up behind Anna.
“Of course,” she repeated, then cleared her throat. “You must like elephants,” she said to Jack, trying to laugh off her shock.
“They’re special to a certain someone I know, which makes them special to me,” he said softly, his breath touching her cheek. She could have stepped farther into the room, away from him, but she didn’t. They both watched silently as Pippa named each elephant. He was referring to Pippa, Anna kept telling herself. Pippa was the certain someone.
“There’s a bathroom in the other bedroom. I put your bags there so you can freshen up. Don’t worry about Pippa. I’ll fix her a snack or something and we’ll get her ready when you’re done.”
“Okay,” Anna said. She started for the other room. After that long flight, she needed a shower like the Serengeti needed rain.
“Anna,” Jack said. She looked back. “Take your time. It’s okay to relax.”
Okay for you, maybe. I have to face your family.
Anna closed the bedroom door and let out a long breath. The mere knowledge that she could have a real shower beating down on her stiff neck and muscles—not a bucket shower—felt like the ultimate luxury. She peeled off her stale travel clothes and turned on the bathroom light.
Have mercy a million times over.
A bathtub, and what looked like a brand-new canister of lavender bath salts. She was 100 percent certain lavender salts weren’t Jack’s style.
They were going to be very, very late to dinner.
* * *
SOMEONE REALLY LOVED GARDENING. The sun, slung low in the sky, gave a warm glow to the burgundy, orange and yellow mums in the garden beds that bordered the walkway leading to Jack’s sister’s house. The tart smell of fresh-burned leaf mulch filled the air. This place looked like a newer build, not the starter home Anna remembered them living in. So storybook perfect. So unlike Busara. It hit Anna what Jack’s first impressions of Busara must have been after being accustomed to this. The perfect place his sister was raising her kids. No wonder he’d freaked out about her raising Pippa there. But Anna knew from experience things could look perfect from the outside, and not be on the inside. Manicured lawns did not a happy family make.
She held her breath for the few seconds it took for Zoe to answer the door. Anna felt so much better after the bath, and the buildup of nerves was counteracting any time-difference issues. Still, she couldn’t help the apprehension.
How could Jack have agreed to this? As punishment? Some sort of modern-day scarlet letter hanging? She should have feigned travel sickness and stayed back, but then Pippa would have been on her own with so many new faces. Strangers. And Anna wouldn’t have known what the Harpers were saying about her. Plotting custody...
Anna’s heart hit a record pulse and her palms itched with sweat. She needed to stop before she had an all-out panic attack and appeared crazy. Then they’d really have a case. Breathe. Just breathe.
The front door opened.
Zoe was just as pretty as Anna remembered, only i
nstead of loose, she wore her dark, wavy hair up in a practical clip. A little boy clung to her jeans and an older version of the Maddie Anna had met a few times stood behind her, eyeing Pippa.
Zoe held her arms out. “Anna! It’s so good to see you. You look great. And this must be Pippa,” she said, giving Anna a surprisingly solid hug before kneeling down to greet her niece. “Hi, Pippa. I’m your aunt Zoe and these are your cousins, Chad and Maddie.”
Pippa slipped her thumb in her mouth and scooted behind Anna’s leg. So not the headstrong four-year-old who gave Haki a hard time. Good thing Anna hadn’t chickened out of coming. Pippa needed her.
“I’m sorry,” Anna said. “She’s really excited about being here, but I think she’s a bit tired and overwhelmed.” Ditto for me.
“Totally understandable,” Zoe said, waving her hand dismissively.
“Are you letting us in, sis?” Jack said, with a twisted smile and a twinkle in his eye.
“Oh, my gosh, yes! Come in. I’m so happy you’re here, I’ve forgotten my manners. Out of the way, kids,” Zoe said, standing up and scooting her kids aside to make way. “Mom and Dad are in the living room. They had enough sense not to crowd the doorway.”
Much to Anna’s relief, Jack picked Pippa up, unlatching her fingers from Anna’s slacks. He seemed to catch on that Pippa would need a buffer to slow the well-intended barrage of hugs and kisses. He was definitely a protective parent, something she could appreciate and understand. Somehow, she wasn’t feeling so alone anymore. She wasn’t there by herself with Pippa, facing a firing squad. She was there with Jack.
“Mom, Dad, you remember Anna. And this here is Pippa. Give her a minute and you won’t be able to get her back in her shell,” Jack said, ruffling Pippa’s hair. Thumb still in her mouth, Pippa hid her face in his neck. Anna resisted the urge to take her from him and be her shield.
“Mr. and Mrs. Harper,” Anna said, extending her hand. Jack had taken their last name as a teenager, a decision that had helped him get over his past. He’d told her about the legal name change their senior year in high school, while they sat in the bleachers long after the game was over and all the other students had gone off to celebrate.
His parents shook her hand, their greetings infinitely more reserved than Zoe’s. In all honesty, Anna couldn’t blame them. They were his parents, and undoubtedly worried about the situation and their son. Just as Anna was worried for Pippa.
“It’s been a long time,” Mrs. Harper said. Well, come right out with the elephant in the room.
“Yes, it has,” Anna said directly. “And you still look wonderful.”
“Oh, thank you. I hope you don’t mind—I got Pippa a welcome gift.”
Mrs. Harper went to a shopping bag in the corner of the room and pulled out a wrapped box. Pink paper. Anna had a clue as to where Jack had gotten his decorating advice.
“Pippa, dear. This is for you,” Mrs. Harper said.
“Don’t let her take all the credit, now. It’s from me, too,” Mr. Harper said. “I’ll make you a deal. Call me Gramps and you can have the box.”
Pippa lifted her head and looked at the present.
“It’s a bit heavy, so you might need two hands to carry it,” Mrs. Harper said.
Pippa slipped her thumb out of her mouth and reached for the gift. Jack put her down, then let her take it.
“What do you say first, Pippa?” Anna said.
“Tank you.”
“Why don’t you go sit on the carpet by the coffee table and open it with Chad and Maddie,” Jack said.
“Kids, don’t take over. Let her open her own gift,” Zoe warned. “Chad loves paper,” she explained to Anna.
“Can’t blame him. It crumples, rips and makes noise. What’s not to love?” Anna smiled, hoping she didn’t sound as awkward as she felt. Small talk was her parents’ forte, not hers. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t bring anything. We should have stopped on the way here for flowers or dessert,” she said to Jack.
“Absolutely not,” Zoe and Mrs. Harper said simultaneously. This family was so together they even answered in unison.
“We’re thankful you made it at all tonight,” Jack’s mom added. “You must be tired and hungry after your long trip.”
“I made lasagna and everything is ready, so why don’t we let the kids play, and get started on dinner? They’re probably too distracted to join us just yet...and I would love to eat in the company of grown-ups,” Zoe said.
“Guess I’ll go play with the kids then.” Jack smirked.
“Very funny,” Zoe deadpanned. “Although, perhaps you should. Grown-ups know how to answer their cell phones.”
Anna was completely and utterly entertained. Sure, she’d visited the Harpers’ a few times, usually brief in-and-outs after school, but she hadn’t really seen this side of Jack. The Jack she’d known had been more serious, analyzing his past and planning his future. She hadn’t seen this part of him until, well, until he’d met Pippa. Anna tried to mesh the memory of him playing helicopter with her at Busara with the scene now, but it only made her homesick.
“The food smells wonderful,” Anna said. Just a few hours. She’d get through this, if she managed to stay awake.
“Zoe’s a great cook,” Mr. Harper offered. He’d been rather quiet, which Anna took as disapproval. She was used to fatherly disapproval. She was a doctor and researcher. She knew when she was being studied...analyzed. It made her hyperaware of every word she spoke and every action she took.
They entered the dining room. The table was already set, and everything but the main course was in its place. Anna hoped with every cell of her body that Jack hadn’t called and told them they were running late because she was taking her time soaking in a tub. She could hear their reactions. The lazy, self-indulgent mom. No comparison to Zoe.
Mrs. Harper motioned Anna to a chair on the far end of the table, but Mr. Harper stopped her.
“Anna,” he said. “Why don’t you take that chair, next to Jack.”
* * *
DINNER WAS EXCELLENT, but there was nothing like pasta to boost sleepiness. That and the fact that everyone was making her feel...comfortable. No one had bitten her head off, or interrogated her about why she’d kept Pippa a secret. They were being careful. No doubt, at Jack’s request.
Anna watched from the kitchen doorway as Jack and his dad sat on the floor with the kids, playing with toys that had multiplied since she’d arrived. The kids had taken a break to eat, but were more interested in playing. Pippa fit right in and seemed to know she was the star of the evening. A young Shirley Temple. She’d come out of her shell, no question.
A kiddie computer that taught reading skills sat on a chair. It was an expensive gift, especially with the added cartridges the Harpers had bought, but Pippa had gravitated toward some of Chad’s older toys, like wooden puzzles and blocks.
“I hope she likes it,” Mrs. Harper said from behind Anna. “It’s supposed to make kids more interested in reading. They like anything that talks out loud.”
“It’s wonderful. Pippa already loves reading and I’m sure this will add a lot of fun to stories for her,” Anna said. She was trying to be tactful, but a part of her went on the defensive. She didn’t want anyone thinking Pippa was a babe raised by wolves just because she lived in the Serengeti. Anna was a good parent, as was Niara, and with a one-to-one ratio on the homeschooling front, both Pippa and Haki had been early readers. Each child was reading at a grade level above expected.
“Really? She’s four, right?” Zoe asked.
“An early reader. She’s schooled privately. Loves books, which is why she’ll love that computer. Thanks so much,” Anna said.
“I’m impressed,” Mrs. Harper said, setting the dish she’d dried in a cabinet. Zoe had sink duty and both had insisted that Anna take it easy, though she
’d in turn insisted on at least helping to clear the table. In all honesty, she was ready to leave, but wasn’t sure how to get through to Jack without being obvious.
“So, Jack said you work with elephants.” Zoe turned off the water and dried her hands.
“Yes. Hopefully, work that will help preserve different subspecies and raise awareness.” Please don’t ask how much longer my research will take.
“Maddie absolutely loves animals, and when she heard Jack telling us about how beautiful the area you live in is, she got all excited. She’s been begging him to take her on a visit. She wants to go on an African safari,” Zoe said.
Anna was speechless. Jack had told them Busara was beautiful? Had he told them he was returning for a visit, or was that Maddie’s suggestion? Because that would change everything she’d assumed about his intentions with Pippa. Or maybe he’d told them he planned on keeping Pippa here, but would bring her to Busara to visit her mom, and take Maddie along. Anna was confused.
“I mean, only if it wasn’t an imposition. It wouldn’t be for a long time, anyway. School and all. Plus, her dad would have to approve. She wants to be a vet, too, you know,” Zoe said.
Anna realized Zoe had mistaken her silence for not wanting visitors at camp. Was Zoe suggesting she mentor Maddie? Mentoring Jack’s niece? This was all too weird. They were supposed to hate her. Or was it all part of a big scheme to get her guard down? To make her feel letting Pippa grow up here, with such a wonderful, warm family, would be best?
“Of course it wouldn’t be an imposition,” Anna quickly said, deciding to leave out any warnings about roughing it. “It’d be a great experience for an aspiring vet.” If they didn’t get shut down by then. Even so, Anna knew many reserves with summer volunteer programs she could recommend.
“Jack said your friends there were very nice,” Mrs. Harper said. Fishing.
“They’re wonderful.”
Mrs. Harper put away the last dish, then folded her arms and leaned back against the granite counter.