by C. P. Watson
“The toasts are in a few. Hopefully his brother says a good speech, else I will kill him.” She grumbled chugging down the remaining of the champagne in the glass before placing it back down on the table.
“Easy there mom, you wouldn’t want a hangover on your wedding day, would you?” She puffed out her lips and sighed.
“You are such a good girl. Stay like that.” She smiled and ran the pads of her fingers over my cheeks.
“I can’t wait for your wedding day, I’ll plan it of course.” My eyes widened and lowered to my lap. I removed my foot from Ava’s thighs and slipped it back into my heel.
“Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it, it’s a future possibility.” I looked up with a light pink blush stained on my cheeks. “You do have a girlfriend now.” She gestured her eyes to Ava making her bite down on her bottom lip.
“I guess so.” I muttered, a little uncomfortable talking about the topic with my mother.
“Not now though.” She fixed her eyes fully at Ava with a stern gaze. “Kylie is too young. She needs to finish college and get settled with a job before even considering it.” She informed making my heart tighten in my chest.
“Of course Miss Reese, I wasn’t planning to.” I frowned and jutted out my bottom lip.
“Looks like we have a downer, wonder why precious here is so sad.” I rolled my eyes and my mom lifted my chin with her index finger, making me look into her eyes. “I’m not trying to be mean baby, it’s just not the time.” She said lastly before we heard the tapping of glass.
Looking up, Brian stood with a champagne glass in his hand and a spoon continuously tapping against it in an attempt to gain everyone’s attention. Seemingly accomplishing his intentions, he placed the spoon down on the surface of the table in front of him and looked over to mom, who in turn, walked over to him.
“Sweetheart,” he stretched out his hand for her to take, in which she complied with. “Have I told you that you are the most stunning woman in the room?” She scoffed and chuckled with a smile on her face.
“Maybe a few whispers here and there. You are quite the charmer, aren’t you?”
“I’m probably just head over heels in love with you.” I felt my body become numb as he said those words. ‘Why did that sound wrong?’
Closing my eyes, my heart felt as though it stopped. I could not understand what I was feeling and as I got up, my feet feeling as though they were above the ground, I hurried to the entrance of the restaurant and ran out onto the streets, my breathing finally picking up as I stumbled in front of the pavement.
“Kylie!” A voice called but my mind was too fuzzy to acknowledge her. I propped myself down onto the concrete and closed my legs at my knees with my feet apart. Placing my face in the palms of my hands, my chest heaved up and down sporadically. “Baby…” the voice sighed as I felt a hand on my shoulder, softly stroking my blade with her thumb. “I mean, love.”
“I’m sorry.” I croaked out as I inhaled a deep breath but did not exhale.
“What’s wrong love?” She took a seat beside me and wrapped her left arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer into her, so that my head could rest upon her chest.
Finally exhaling, I nuzzled my face against her collarbone, breathing in her intoxicating scent. Relief washed over me as she began to run her fingers through my hair and hum softly.
“It’s hard to see, I guess.” I whispered against her skin, making her place a kiss on the top of my head.
“I can see that. We can go for a walk, we don’t have to be here.” I swallowed and moved my head away from her as I sat up.
“I think that is best.” She gave me a smile and placed her hand in mine, giving a comforting squeeze.
“Let me get my purse first. Wait out here for me. Anything you need me to bring out for you?” I shook my head knowing that I left my phone in my room, and did not come out with a purse either. She gave me another smile before releasing my hand and walking back into the restaurant.
I noticed how the valet looked at me oddly. Ignoring his stare, I looked through the glass wall of the restaurant to see others were giving me the same look as well. Taking a deep breath, I knew they were wondering what was wrong with me, and as my eyes travelled over to Brian and my mother, I felt guilt sting my heart. They were possibly upset, but their facial expressions did not show it. I did not know what came over me, or why I had a minor panic attack. My only reasoning was that it was now processing that my mother was moving on, which I was happy about, but was I moving on?
Up until that moment when I listened to Brian confess his feelings for my mother in front of everyone, I thought I was slowly getting over my past, but I still felt like I was. It was a process, and seemed to take longer than I could have foretold.
‘One step at a time, right?’ I encouraged myself and inhaled deeply. Continuing to look at my mother, as she looked back at me with sadness in her eyes, I gave a smile and a nod, maybe that being my unspoken approval. I was happy that she was happy. I had nothing against Brian or their relationship together.
My eyes then travelled towards Ava, who walked over to my mom to probably explain that we would be absent for a bit. No looks of disapproval were given, and she looked back at me with a smile of her own. Exhaling the breath I kept in, I felt warmth wash over me.
As the woman I loved walked towards the entrance, and through the door, my entire body shivered with happiness. An excruciating, intense happiness that I had never felt before I met her. Ava was indeed the one for me, and with her, I knew I was going to be okay.
◆◆◆
AS WE WALKED DOWN the street in silence, our fingers interlocked and the side of my head rested upon her shoulder, my entire body felt contented - loved.
“You feeling ok now love?” I hummed as we stopped in place, and I looked up at her face to stare into her gorgeous grey eyes.
“Always with you.” She chuckled and inhaled a deep breath.
“It’s cold out, why didn’t you walk with a jacket?”
“I like the chilliness, this is nothing compared to February and March.”
“Yes love, I was not born in a tropical country, but I get frostbite a little too quickly.”
“Ok, I’ll wear an overcoat next time, just in case you need some extra layers to ease the frostbite.” She slapped my arm and I pouted.
“That’s actually a good idea.” She kissed the top of my head and sighed. “You wanna talk about what happened?” I pressed my lips together and nodded. “There’s a cafe over there. Let’s go get something to warm us up.”
“I’m warm enough.” She rolled her eyes.
“Let’s get something to warm me up then smart ass.”
We headed over to the cafe, hand in hand, as I pondered up how I was going to express my feelings to her. With Ava, it had always been easier to spill my heart out like alphabet soup.
Heading through the doors and finding a seat, we both sat on the same side of the booth and looked through the same menu. Her right hand lifted up one end and my left hand lifted up the other.
“I’m definitely getting a coffee, what about you sweet cheeks?” She asked as she continued to scan the items.
“I’ll have a coke, gotta snort that shit up you know.”
“That’s funny, I’d love to see you try.” She chuckled as she turned her face to mine and gave me a look.
“I’m talking about the soda.” I grinned making her roll her eyes.
“I figured that much, but I would love to see you still snort that. It would be hilarious. I’ll video tape it, upload it on social media and make millions.” I frowned at her ridiculous humour and pouted.
“Your remark is not appreciated.” I tugged the menu away from her, scooted to the end of the seat and mindlessly read the words.
“I was just kidding. You really can’t take a joke, huh?” I furrowed my brows and sighed.
“You should get pancakes, and I should get a new girlfriend.”
“Hel
l no, don’t make me get out my shotgun.” I gave her an amused look.
“You don’t own a shotgun.”
“I’ll fucking buy one. No one is touching you.”
“No one?”
“Except me, of course.” A laugh escaped my lips and I placed the menu down.
“You are hilarious, you’d really do that?” She crossed her arms over her chest when I shifted to face her.
“Of course.”
Sighing, I puffed out my cheeks and stuck out my bottom lip. “Is mom upset?” She smiled and shook her head.
“She just wants you to be ok.” I took a deep breath. “Did the toast upset you?”
“Just made me sad.” I responded as I looked down at my hand rested on my lap. “I did not have a good father, but to see him be replaced… I guess I’m afraid that Brian will turn out the same, or maybe he’ll be great and be the man my mom deserves but I’ll never have the father that I deserve.”
“You can get to know him. He seems like a good guy.”
“Are there any good men out there?” She tapped the tips of her fingers against the surface of the table and shook her head.
“There are bad people in the world. Both men and women. But there are a few good. No one is perfect, but very few are exceptional, like you.” She reached her hand out for mine and interlocked our fingers. “No matter what, we are all human. We all make errors, some are worse than others. Some people are not meant to be in this world, and some are meant to be. Some people are destined for great things, while others were put into this world by mistake.”
“We should get back to the restaurant.” I said not wanting to discuss it anymore, but I knew I could not just shut down on her. “I’m not here to form a relationship with Brian. I’m here for my mom’s wedding and that’s it. He might be a great guy but I don’t need a father figure in my life.”
“I just want you to be happy.” She pulled me into her, allowing me to rest my head against her chest.
“I am. I am contented and fulfilled.” I whispered reassuringly.
“Ok Kylie, I love you.”
“I love you too Ava.”
◆◆◆
WATCHING MY MOTHER STARE at herself blankly through the full length of the mirror, I sensed hesitation and fear. “You ok mom?” She did not respond with a word or a gesture. I inhaled a low breath and walked over to her.
We were at the venue for the wedding. It was an elegant building with prestige and wealth dripping from each crease of the walls.
The ballroom was already filled with the invited guests and hopefully the groom standing at the end of the aisle with the priest.
It was time for her to leave the room, to walk down the aisle to commit herself to the man she claimed she loved.
“I can’t do it.” She mumbled as I placed my hand on her shoulder. A tear escaped her right eye, slightly smudging her eyeliner.
“Why can’t you?” She dropped the bouquet onto the floor and turned away from the mirror to face me directly.
“There are signs. I can’t take the risk.” She squeezed her eyes shut and stifled a breath.
“I thought you said…”
“I know what I said.” She grumbled and stretched her hand behind her back. “Help me get this off.” She demanded as she tried to tug down the zipper of the dress.
“But mom…”
“Kylie, call Ava and your grandfather so we can get out of here. I can’t go through with this.” I felt a lump in my throat as I clutched my cell phone that was in my hand.
“Mom please calm down. Don’t make a hasty decision.”
“What?” I snapped out of my trance and blinked rapidly. “Kylie, are you ok?”
“Yea…” l swallowed and shifted my weight onto my left side.
“Are you sure?” I nodded and cleared my throat.
“Of course.”
“I love him Kylie. I know you might have your hesitations and indifferences, but not all men are the same. He is a good one, trust me.” Placing my hand over my chest, I let out a deep breath. In a way, I needed reassurance and it made me feel bad.
“I’m sorry mom. I guess it’s allot to process.”
“What’s a lot to process, that all men aren’t dumb asses?”
A laugh escaped my lips and I shook my head. “Grandpa is waiting outside. Let’s get you down that aisle.” I smiled widely as she picked up her bouquet of flowers and took one last glance at herself in the mirror.
◆◆◆
MY MOM WALKED DOWN the aisle with elegance and ease, even Grandpa seemed much less disapproving that day. As I stood next to the other bridesmaids waiting for my mom to reach the head of the aisle, I looked over to Brian. The smile on his face never faltered and when he stretched out his hand for my mom to take as grandpa gave her away, I saw a glimmer of the love they shared.
My eyes then travelled over to Ava who was sitting with the rest of the guests. She looked back at me with the same intense stare and a smile dazzling on her beautiful face.
Someday I knew she would be the perfect bride for me. I would not mind calling her my own, for the rest of my life, in front of a room full with people.
The reception came along quickly after, which was kept in a ballroom next to where the ceremony took place. I sat next to Ava as she ran her fingers through my hair while we watched my mother and Brian dance.
“They look good together.” I whispered as I reached for Ava’s hand and interlocked our fingers.
“They really do.” She agreed and took my other hand as she stood, making me stand as well. “Dance with me.” I hesitated but she pulled me towards the dance floor. “Please Kylie. We have never danced together.” I smiled and agreed as she placed her left hand on my shoulder blade.
“Fine, but only one dance.” She leaned her forehead against mine as we agilely moved to the beat of the slow lyrics.
I was not a good dancer and she certainly was not either from the way she moved, but we still fitted perfectly in each other’s arms.
“So you got her to dance.” I heard my mom say and I rolled my eyes. “Am I going to get a turn?” Ava stepped away and my mom replaced her position.
“May I have this dance?” I looked up and saw Dave stretching his hand out for Ava to take, but Grandpa came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.
“Not before me.” He mumbled before taking Ava’s hand, making her laugh. “Go find a straight girl to dance with.” My eyes widened and my mother let out a chuckle.
“He got you there Dave.” She wrapped her arms around my torso and we slowly swayed and moved our feet.
“I’m going to the bar.” He shook his head and sighed, not seeming too fazed about it.
“I forgot to ask where you two are honeymooning?” She stuck out her bottom lip.
“Not for now. Work occupies most of our time. We barely made room in our schedule for the wedding stuff. We’ll plan something for the near future though.”
“That’s lame.” She smacked my shoulder.
“All we need is each other.”
“Did you bellow for me, my dear?”
“Only in bed honey.” I cringed and stepped back, allowing the two to dance again.
As I looked at the two, I felt satisfied that maybe she finally found what she always deserved. Maybe not all men were the same, and true love did exist.
My gaze then fell upon my girlfriend walking over to me, her smile radiant as always and her grey eyes sparkling.
“I think I kinda miss work.” She muttered as she rubbed the back of her neck with the palm of her hand.
“That's my hard-working girlfriend.” I enthused as I pulled her into me, pressing my front up to hers.
“You make it hard for me not to love you.”
“I second that.”
◆◆◆
THE TRIP BACK WAS very tiring. My mom cried at the airport, which made me cry too. I was dreading going back to school and having to deal with the snobby teenagers I called class
mates, especially one teenage girl in particular.
We slept in the entire day and the next morning it was time to head to statutory education.
Ava groaned and whined for about twenty minutes before she finally got out of bed, and I did not even bother to shower because I was too lazy.
She headed out first and then I did. The morning hair was chilly, intoxicating my nostrils with cold air.
I only wore a light jacket with jeans for warmth, and yawned a few times on my walk.
“I see that your back.” I heard someone say as I neared the entrance of the school. Not bothering to turn, I made my way up the steps and into the building. “Hey, I was talking to you.” Someone placed their hand on my shoulder in an attempt to stop me in place.
“Let go, else I will make you.” I grumbled, not in the mood to deal with anyone.
“Just wanted to apologise.” I quirked a brow as I finally realized who it was.
“So you had a chance of heart?” I gripped the straps of my backpack and turned to face her.
“Yup. I watched 13 Reasons Why.” I pressed my lips together wondering what she was talking about.
“Ok then.” I tried to walk away, but she spoke again.
“Plus Archer came out, so yea, I’m sorry.” I scoffed and continued to walk. She had to do a lot more than that for me or anyone to forgive her, but then again, at least she tried.
Reaching Ava’s class, the door being open, I walked in and found my seat. I looked up from my seat to see that her seated position was horizontal to the desk, her legs crossed and the end of her pen was in between her teeth.
“You are always early.” I smiled and sank my teeth into my bottom lip.
“Of course Miss Reese.”