“Yeah, but...” he left it hanging, leaning his head back against the headrest.
“But... you couldn’t go that long without talking to Michaela,” she finished for him.
“Well... yeah,” he said.
It wasn’t that Maggie hadn’t wanted to call Elijah; she had. She wanted nothing more than for him to tell her she was doing the right thing. For him to be her best friend again. For him to tell her he loved her and everything was going to be okay. At first, something had stopped her. Then she realized, after everything that had happened in Boston, there were some things she needed to say to him. No more waiting. No more caution or fear. She needed to do it in person.
Before they left, Maggie let Mama Lugo read her father’s letter. She put it down when she was finished and reached out to envelop Maggie in a mother’s hug. This is what a parent should make you feel like, Maggie thought as she rested her head on the older woman’s shoulder.
“Maggie,” Mama had said, “Sweetheart, you can’t be so afraid of being alone that you push away those who love you most.”
“I don’t know if that makes any sense, Mama,” Maggie laughed.
“But you know what I mean.” She had pulled back and looked Maggie in the eye.
“I do.” Maggie nodded and then stood to leave.
And now, here they were. Maggie and Jason, driving home where they had people waiting for them. Elijah would be waiting for her, she was suddenly sure of it. He’d been open about his feelings for a while now. It was her turn to do the same.
Maggie turned her head, one eye on Jason, one on the road. “We’ll be fine,” she finally answered him.
Maggie dropped Jason at Michaela’s apartment. He was going to see her before changing and heading over to check on his bar. It should be packed by this time of night.
She barely registered anything as she drove through the streets of the city she’d come to know so well over the past few years. It was home in a way Boston never had been.
The traffic light turned green, and she kept going. It wasn’t long before she pulled into the familiar neighborhood. It was late, but she knew where Elijah would be.
His car sat out front, and her pulse picked up upon seeing it. But she wasn’t nervous. No, that was gone. The butterflies were something else. Excitement. She was letting herself do this. She wasn’t going to back down. Elijah was right. Jason was right. Mama was right. Hell, even Jake was right. Her and Elijah. This was how it was always meant to be.
She put her car in park and got out, pushing the door shut behind her.
The front porch was still a mess, so she walked around back, each step bringing her closer to what she should’ve wanted all along. She pushed open the side gate and stepped through into the backyard.
The willow tree loomed in the far corner, a shadow in the night. Their bench wasn’t visible, but she knew it was there and it gave her courage.
She rounded the corner of the house and stopped. The porch light was on, illuminating the lone figure sitting in one of the wooden deck chairs. He was bent over, holding his head in his hands.
A single beer sat on the arm of the chair. There were no empties strewn about like she would have expected with her father or Jake. Just one.
She breathed deeply as he ran a hand through his dark hair. The light created shadows on his strained face, making him look almost menacing. But he wasn’t menacing. He was sweet. He was thoughtful. He was Elijah.
He hadn’t seen her yet, which allowed her to watch him. He was brooding about something. She could always tell by the way his brow was pinched and the way his hands wouldn’t stay still. He reached over to grasp his beer, taking a long drink before bending over again, elbows on his thighs and the beer bottle dangling between them.
“I know you’re there,” he said after a while, still not looking at her.
“Caught me.” She held up her hands and stepped into the light.
“When did you get back?”
“Just now.” She took the steps slowly.
He finally looked up at her. She stopped right in front of him and reached down to take the beer from his hands. It was still half-full when she raised it to her lips and took a long drink. She never got drunk, but she wasn’t immune to the pleasure of the occasional beer.
Elijah just watched her.
“I needed that,” she said. “It’s been a long day.”
Elijah glanced back at the house, and Maggie gave him a questioning look. “It’s about to get longer,” he said. “Look, I need to tell you something.”
“Not yet,” she gave him a small smile and stepped away. “I get to talk first.”
His lips pinched in confusion, but he restrained himself from asking her anything, allowing her to say what she needed to.
She didn’t know where to start. Deciding to talk to him as she would have before, she started. “I went to my dad’s grave today.”
“I know.”
“Right, your mom,” she sighed, turning to look towards the large tree on the periphery. “Can we not do this here?” she asked. “I need to talk to you, Elijah. Like we used to.”
Nodding in understanding, he stood and held out his hand. She took it, and he led them away from the light. As her eyes grew used to the darkness, she could make out the bench. They sat side by side in the stillness.
“It’s smaller than I remember,” Elijah laughed softly.
“Or your butt just got too big,” she quipped.
“Yeah, that’s probably it.” He wiggled his butt. She was almost knocked off, but strong arms wrapped around her waist to keep her in place.
Maggie’s heart beat wildly at their proximity.
“So,” Elijah said, growing serious but not releasing her. “Talk to me.”
“I finally told my dad what he deserved to hear, even though he wasn’t alive to hear it,” Maggie explained. “But still, it felt so damn good. He has no more power over me.”
“That’s good, Mags.” He rested his chin on her shoulder, his breath warm on her neck.
“Jake was there.”
She laughed suddenly as she could practically hear him grimacing.
“It was good,” she said. She didn’t tell him the things Jake said to her—that he’d always known.
“I don’t want to talk about Jake.” He started to pull away.
“Hey.” Maggie wrapped an arm around him, keeping him from widening the distance between them. Her hand made its way up his spine to the back of his head. She forced him to look at her. “I’m sorry.”
“Maggie -”
“Don’t tell me it was okay,” she interrupted. “It wasn’t. I’m sorry for everything. I haven’t been all-in, and you deserve someone who is.”
“Is this the part where you tell me that you want to go back to being friends?” His voice grew thick, and Maggie knew he was trying to keep his emotions in check.
“Yes,” she said. When his shoulders dropped, and he tried to pull away, she continued, “And no.”
You can’t be so afraid of being alone that you push away those who love you most.
“What are you saying?” he asked.
It was as if all her planned-out thoughts evaporated, leaving only a confused mist in their wake. What was she saying? She knew what she felt, but not how to make everything okay again.
Sometimes many memories came as one larger image. That’s what happened in that moment. Every promise Elijah had ever made to her came as one. I will love you. That’s what he’d always been saying. She just hadn’t wanted to hear it.
“I want to make you a promise,” she finally said.
She saw a dark eyebrow arch as the corner of his mouth twitched.
“I - It’s you,” she stuttered. “I love you, Elijah.”
He gripped her around the waist and lifted her so quickly she didn’t have time to react before she was in his lap. “I didn’t hear a promise in that,” he said in a low voice as he grazed his lips against her cheek.
; “You didn’t?” she asked. “Because I heard every promise.”
The words were barely out of her mouth before he covered it with his own. It suddenly felt like something was falling into place. Something that had been in the making since they were kids. Something powerful and terrifying. Something good.
She arched into him, just wanting to be closer. He invaded every one of her senses, making her feel more than she ever had before. She gripped his hair to pull his head back as she trailed kisses down his neck. He squeezed her to him, his hand moving underneath her shirt.
The bench below them wasn’t meant for this, and they soon found themselves almost falling off.
“We should go inside,” Maggie said, taking his earlobe between her teeth.
He groaned, and then realization hit him.
“Maggie,” he said, gripping her shoulders. “Stop. That thing I said I needed to talk to you about - it can’t wait.”
“Of course it can.” She leaned in for another kiss, but he stopped her.
“It’s about Kimberly.”
She stopped suddenly and climbed off his lap, never taking her eyes from his.
“Tell me,” she said quietly.
“You remember that story you told me about Jason?” Elijah asked. “The one of him sitting alone in the hospital after his parents died?”
Maggie nodded. “I still dream about that.”
“I know you do.” He paused. “That’s how she looked. She’s only six years old, and her entire world has been ripped away from her. I couldn’t take it.”
She laid her palm against his cheek, and he turned into it. Sighing, his breath blew hot across her hand. Sensing this was a big moment for them, she gave him time to think before he went on.
“I brought her here,” he whispered finally. “She’s upstairs sleeping.”
Maggie couldn’t speak past the lump that had formed in her throat, and she was thankful the darkness hid her tears.
Elijah took her hands into his own and went on. “Mags, after everything that’s happened recently, I don’t want you to think I’m being manipulative or controlling. But believe it or not, I do know you. I’ve watched you this summer. For years, all you’ve ever wanted was a family you could love and that will love you back. You have part of one - with Jason and everyone. But it isn’t whole. There’s something missing.”
Maggie was frozen in her seat. This was something she’d considered on more than one occasion. She clasped her arms across her stomach, remembering the day a part of her died. The day she learned she’d never have a child.
“Kimberly is a little broken right now.” Elijah wrapped an arm around Maggie’s shoulders and pulled her closer. “Which is exactly why she needs you. I was never going to let her go into the system, and neither were you.”
Maggie wiped at her tears with the back of her hand and stood. She started walking, under the power of something bigger than herself. She couldn’t have stopped herself if she tried. Her feet carried her across the yard and up the steps to the deck. The sliding back door was already open, and she stepped through. Walking up the stairs, she suddenly realized she didn’t know which room to go to.
“Second door on the left,” Elijah said, stepping up behind her.
She wavered on the step, and he gripped her waist.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m here.”
Those words had many meanings, and she was grateful for every one as she pushed open the door to Kimberly’s room. Her feet didn’t move forward as she took everything in. This room had been set up before Kimberly’s grandmother died.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.
“You weren’t really speaking to me,” he shrugged. “Plus, I knew what you wanted. You just had to figure it out on your own.”
Her eyes scanned the dark room, the yellow walls illuminated by a night-light near the dresser. She held back her tears as she took in the huddled form on the bed.
They’d tried to be quiet so they wouldn’t wake the girl, but it turned out they didn’t need to worry about that. A muffled sob reverberated around the room as Kimberly pressed her face into her pillow and cried.
Maggie rushed towards the bed and crouched down.
“Kimberly,” she cooed.
The girl lifted her red-rimmed eyes and sniffled. “Maggie,” she cried.
Maggie reached out and pushed her hair back out of her face before planting a light kiss on her forehead. “Scoot over.”
Kimberly made room in her twin bed, and Maggie sat next to her with her back resting against the wall. She pulled Kimberly into her arms, and the girl clung to her as her body was wracked with another fit of sobs.
“Shhhh,” Maggie said, resting her cheek on the top of Kimberly’s head. “I’ve got you now. You and me, kid, that’s how it’s going to be.”
Kimberly grew still, and Maggie thought she had fallen asleep.
“And Jah too?” a small voice asked.
Maggie smiled and looked towards the doorway where Elijah stood, watching her.
“Yes, sweetheart,” she said. “Elijah too.”
Her eyes didn’t leave Elijah’s as she held the girl until she fell asleep. When there were no more sobs and the hands clinging to Maggie had gone slack, she lowered the girl to the bed and stood up.
Neither she nor Elijah spoke as they shut the door behind them and descended the stairs. They reached the kitchen, and their steps echoed off the hardwood floors. The hum of new appliances permeated the stillness, and Maggie turned to Elijah.
“Thank you,” she said, suddenly aware how inadequate those words were.
“This is going to change our entire lives,” he said. “I just hope we’re ready.”
“We are,” she said.
“How do you have so much confidence in me?”
“Because, Elijah,” she wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. “I love you.”
He leaned down to kiss her, and she smiled against his lips before leaning back.
“You’re always telling me how well you know me,” she said. “Well, I know you too. And you, sir, can do anything.”
He surprised her by picking her up by the waist. She squealed as he set her down on the counter-top, but it was cut off with a kiss. She pulled him closer, tugging on his bottom lip with her teeth.
He smiled. “We do this together then,” he said, breathless as he pulled away to look at her.
“You promise?” she asked.
He grinned at the sound of their game. Only it wasn’t a game. There was only one promise he’d ever broken, but it was the dumbest one he’d ever made, and he planned on breaking it every day. He couldn’t not kiss her. He didn’t know how he’d gotten by before those lips were his.
“I promise.” He leaned in, whispering against her lips. “I will always promise.”
<<<<>>>>
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About Michelle
Books are an addiction. One I can’t seem to shake. I was the girl who stayed in on a weekend night as a teenager to finish just one more chapter.
Now, I’m the adult lacking in sleep for the very same reason. Making books a career made sense to me. I have two jobs in this life. Taking care of my imaginary friends, testing them every day. And taking care of my niece and nephew. Both are exhausting and completely exhilarating.
Reading has been such an important part of my life, getting me through illness, disability, and more. Stories make us stronger. More compassionate. We wouldn’t be the same without them.
Find me at MichelleLynnAuthor.com
Acknowledgments
We’d all like to say we can do most things on our own. As if our independence somehow makes our success more pronounced. The truth is, doing it alone would be less meaningful to me. It truly takes a village - a very special one in this case.
To my family - thanks for taking the brunt of my annoyance when you try to talk to me during tricky scenes, or really any other time I’m writing. You are all saints.
Thanks to those friends and family members who unknowingly allowed me the use of your names by being such great characters in my life. I promise only the good traits from these characters are stolen from you.
Patrick - my editor. Your notes are invaluable. Thanks for not strangling me over having to correct my many many bad writing habits.
Rachel - my cover artist. You seem to know what I want even before I do.
My beta readers - Michelle, Kimberly, Bethany, Kristen, Jerusha, Kayla - you guys rock.
My friends at the Young Adult Author Rendezvous for supporting me and keeping me going.
Thanks to the girls at BB - you guys keep me sane with your humor and encouragement.
Thank you John for constantly giving me that little push and making be believe I actually can do this.
Thank you God for giving me these people and putting me into a situation where I had to try something new.
And last, but definitely not least, thanks to everyone who has given my books a shot. You, the reader, are the reason I do this.
This is my village and I don’t know where I’d be without them.
Promises: A friends to lovers romance. (New Beginnings Book 2) Page 16