by Jessica Dall
Jude watched her come back and flop down next to him. “Didn’t go well?”
She twitched in irritation. “I’m a little upset I didn’t accidentally kill him.”
“You don’t mean that.”
Dahlia shrugged unwilling to say more about Ben. “Where did Heather and Des go?”
Jude looked around. “No clue.”
She rolled her shoulders. “Should we look for them?”
“I’m sure they can take care of themselves,” Jude said. “They’re big girls.”
“Correction,” she said, “should we leave this pseudo-camp before I hurt your friend over there?”
“I thought you were sore.”
“Not as sore as I could be.” She forced herself up again, ignoring her leg’s protests. “Coming?”
“Why do you need me?”
“You think I have a sense of direction after this long out here?”
“True.” Jude scrambled to his feet.
“Which way do we go to reach that creek?”
Jude pointed. “I think that way.”
Dahlia nodded, starting up the hill and then down the other side with care. “You know, as pretty as I find nature, if I never see another forest again after this...”
The wet leaves on the hill started to slide under her weight. Jude grabbed her arm to study her. “You’re lucky we’re all out here with you. You wouldn’t have lasted even this long on your own.”
“Come on now.” Dahlia stopped to catch her balance, before moving the rest of the way to where the ground leveled out. “I’d like to think I could at least make it a week.”
“I’d imagine that would be on the generous end of an estimate.”
“Your faith in me is heartwarming.” She rolled her eyes.
“Do you really need me to have faith in you to be happy?”
“It would be nice.”
“I’ll do my best to be your personal cheerleader then.”
There was a shout.
They froze.
“What was that?” Dahlia whispered.
Jude shook his head, holding his hand out. “Stay here.”
“I’m not standing around here by myself,” she said. “It’s getting dark.”
Another, quieter sound followed.
Dahlia frowned. “Was that a moan?”
“I think we found Des and Heather,” Jude said.
“Are they—?”
“I think it’s safe to assume,” Jude cut her off.
Dahlia blinked and paused. “I admit I still don’t fully understand lesbian sex. I imagine they’re missing some rather crucial parts.”
“They seem to work around that,” Jude said.
“I figured. I still don’t fully grasp how.”
“So what? You want to spy on your sister while she’s having sex?”
“No.” Dahlia shook her head. “I’m not voyeuristic. It’s just idle curiosity. I mean, them finding a way makes sense—sex can be fun, no need for them to miss out—but still...”
“Sex is fun?” Jude repeated.
“Can be,” Dahlia said. “Have you never...?”
“Oh no, I have. Multiple times. With multiple women for that matter. I was just amused how you said it.”
“Glad to be a source of amusement,” Dahlia said, moving in another direction. “Have you all been around town then? Ben said you were spying on us.”
“Most of us.” Jude followed. “We took some of the younger guys’ numbers in exchange for our protection and sent out our men in the lottery more often than would happen normally. Better odds you know. Played up to important women, legislators mostly, did our best to piss off the unimportant women so we’d get sent back after three weeks, and started again.”
“Was I important then?”
“What?”
“Ben made up some cock and bull story about why he didn’t want me to send him back at three weeks.”
“Ah,” Jude said. “No. That was just Ben. I think you fascinated him.”
“Swell,” she said.
“Well, it makes perfect sense.”
“What does?”
“Ben being fascinated with you.”
“Why is that?”
“You’re very pretty.”
She looked at him.
“Ben’s always been easily caught by beautiful women and you’re very attractive.”
She slowed her pace. “You think so?”
Jude turned to face her, “This can’t be the first time you were ever told that. I know Ben would have at least—”
“Just surprised you said so.”
“Why?”
She shrugged, looking him over. “How many times have you been chosen?”
He frowned, seeming to look for some sort of trick. “Why?”
“Just looking for a rough estimate.”
“Again, why?”
She continued to look at him.
He shook his head. “I don’t know. Twenty maybe?”
“You’re how old?”
He continued to look at her suspiciously, but answered, “Twenty-five.”
“So you’ve been eligible for the lottery for, what, nine years?”
He nodded.
“Pretty good turn over.”
He nodded. “Why?”
She moved closer to him. “You know, I only turned twenty a few months ago.”
“Ben said something like that.”
“Haven’t had...” She touched his chest lightly. “Much time to—”
“Okay,” he stepped back at once. “Let’s not go there.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Go where?”
“You know where.”
She shook her head, playing the innocent.
“I’m not buying the whole ingénue routine.”
She smiled. “Well, why shouldn’t we go there?”
“Ben would have my head for one.”
“Why?” She touched his good shoulder, letting her hand slide around his neck.
“Because he’s completely hung up on you.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“Dahlia, really.” Jude tried to back up, only succeeding in forcing her off-balance, her body falling against him. “Dahlia...”
She caught her balance, but stayed pressed against him. “You think I’m attractive. You just said so.”
“Yes.” He frowned at her. “I did.”
“Do you not want to have sex with me?”
He laughed nervously. “I just think there’s a lot of other baggage to be taken into consideration if we were going to...”
She waited for him to complete his sentence before shifting against him lightly. “Do you really care about that right now?”
“He’s my best friend.”
“And?” she asked. “He could have been out here with me right now. He chose not to be.”
“Yes,” Jude conceded, “but—”
“It’s not your job to play envoy between us,” Dahlia said. “Point is, do you want to have sex with me or not?”
He hesitated for another moment before kissing her. Whatever pangs of conscience he had about the situation faded as her body reacted so fully against his. He released a breath, hands going to the back of her shirt and pulling it off over her head. He kissed her neck.
She released a short gasp, hands moving straight to his pants.
“You’re—” he began.
“Shut up.” She pushed him back, ending up on top of him.
Chapter Eleven
Dahlia shifted, trying to stretch her shoulders and becoming relatively certain that she had at least half a dozen leaves stuck to her back. She’d have to get dressed soon anyway, it was getting colder, and the heat that they had worked up wouldn’t last much longer. She rolled her neck.
“You know, I’ve never had sex outside before,” She said.
Jude panted, still trying to catch his breath. “What?”
“Just saying.” She shrugged, sitting up and brush
ing herself off. “You’re quite good at that, by the way.”
He looked at her. “Thank you.”
“We aren’t far from the creek, are we?” She looked around for her clothes.
“Just over that hill I think.” Jude forced himself to breathe deeper. “Why?”
“I need to wash my clothes or try to at least. Wash me for that matter.”
“It’s too cold for you to get wet. You’ll get sick.”
She just gave him a quick smile. “Go on up to camp. The moonlight is pretty bright here. I’ll be able to make it back in a straight line.”
“And if you aren’t?”
“I’ll stop moving and shout until someone finds me.”
He frowned. “Might not be the right people who find you if you do that.”
“We haven’t seen any sign of any other human for...it’s got to be kilometers at this point. I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Don’t worry about me.” She touched his hand gently.
“I worry about just about everyone out here.”
“Because you’re sweet like that.” She smiled. “You can come and check up on me if I’m not back in fifteen minutes, okay?”
Dahlia picked up her clothes and moved in the direction Jude pointed her, the sound of running water leading her after a few meters. The creek was barely enough to be a stream and so cold that it seemed to burn when she touched it. The desire to have some semblance of cleanliness outweighed the painful tingle she got when she cupped the water in her hands. She squatted, her legs shaking enough that she half sat, half fell to being cross-legged. She set her clothes next to her and took some of the pebbles at the bottom of the water and used them to rub the dirt and sweat out of her shirt. The method seemed oddly familiar, though she couldn’t place where she had learned about it. A book about primitive cultures perhaps.
She cleaned her clothes until her hands went completely numb before splashing herself enough to wash some of the grim from days of walking in the forest off her skin and out of her hair. She began to shiver, her skin tightening to try to save heat, but the feeling of being relatively clean was enjoyable enough to ignore the fact that she was freezing.
“I don’t know if this should be arousing or not.”
She turned her head fast enough to whip her face with her wet hair. She focused on the shape in the moonlight, realizing who it was at once and going back to washing her face. “What do you want?”
“Well, I think you woke up the entire forest with the noise you were making.” Ben crossed his arms. “Where’s Jude?”
“Went back to camp as far as I know.” She shrugged, not looking at him.
“He left you here?”
“I wanted to wash up.”
“Needed to, no doubt,” he said bitterly.
“I’m tired of oddly snide innuendo.” Dahlia sighed. “For once will you just say what you mean?”
“Fine,” he said. “You just fucked Jude.”
“Another colloquialism, I take it.”
“A lewd one,” he said.
“An expletive, yes? You’ve used it before.”
“Will you stay on topic?”
“What’s the topic?” She looked over her shoulder at him. “Yes I had sex with Jude, if that’s what you want to know.”
“You admit it.”
“I just did. I see no reason to lie about it. Why? Do you care?”
“About you fucking Jude?”
“Fucking,” she repeated. “It’s a regular verb then? To fuck, fucks, fucking, fucked—”
“Does it really matter?” Ben cut her off.
“Just wondering how many ways one really needs to be able to say ‘have sex’,” she said. “Seems unnecessary.”
“Depends on how clinical you want to be.” He waved it away. “Stay on topic.”
“We’re talking about sex aren’t we? Or fucking as you just put it. There are a couple other ones, yes?”
“Why did you fuck him?”
“Jude?” She stood up.
“I don’t know,” Ben said. “Are there others?”
“What do you care? You haven’t looked at me twice since we entered this miserable forest.”
He eyed her, his survey stopping at her chest. “Cold?”
“It is cold out.” Dahlia crossed her arms.
“And you chose to take all your clothes off.”
“Easier to wash them that way,” she said.
“You haven’t put them back on.”
“They’re wet.” She looked at the clothes on the ground near her. “I’d be colder with them on.”
“Convenient.”
“Convenient for what?”
“Distracting me.”
Dahlia scoffed. “Yes, since my every move I make is calculated by what effect I think it will have on you.”
“Why else would you sleep with Jude?”
“If you’re going to insist on colloquialisms, can you at least pick one? It’s much harder to follow you when you keep changing them.”
“I’m not hearing another reason.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Because I wanted to?”
“Yeah, because you and Jude are just so right for each other,” he said sarcastically.
“What do you care?” Dahlia walked towards him. “If you wanted me it would have been easy enough to say so. Since you preferred to sulk, I don’t think it’s any of your business with whom I chose to have or not have sex.”
His jaw clenched.
She raised her eyebrows in challenge and then turned to move back to the creek.
He grabbed her hips, pulling her back towards him, not caring about the surprised yelp. He took a deep breath, resting his forehead against the crown of her head. “Are you doing this just to get to me?”
“Why?” She swallowed. “Is it getting to you?”
He paused, he fingers gripping tighter around her hipbone for a second before he released her altogether. “Was he good?”
Dahlia hesitated and then moved to her clothes. “Why? You want me to compare the two of you?”
“If you don’t want me to be snide with you, maybe you should return the favor.”
“Well, how am I supposed to answer that?” She glared at him.
“Maybe with an answer.”
She looked over her shoulder at him, studying him for a moment before looking back at her clothes. “Yes. Yes, he was.”
He released a breath slowly through his clenched jaw. “Get dressed. You need to come back to camp.”
“My clothes are still wet.” She sat. “You don’t have to babysit me. I’m not a child. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
“Yeah, you’ve proven that.” Ben crossed his arms.
“Look, I’m up all by myself. I must not be a newborn.”
“You’re in the middle of the forest,” he said. “Naked.”
“We haven’t seen another person in kilometers. Should I come up against something non-human and dangerous, I doubt it would care about me being nude or not in the general thought process of wanting to eat and/or maul me. Being dressed wouldn’t give me any superpowers that would help me fend it off, so—”
“It’s going to get colder.”
“Wet clothes won’t keep me any warmer.”
Ben sighed and then pulled his shirt off, tossing it at her.
“I don’t need your clothes.” She didn’t move to catch it, letting it fall near her.
“Will you stop being mule-headed and put it on? You sit out here naked and you’re going to get sick. You’re already slowing us down in your current state.”
She picked it up, flicked the shirt back towards him. “I don’t want it. Go back to camp.”
Ben caught it. “You’re putting this on.”
“Make me.”
“Believe me, I’m tempted.”
“I’d like to see you try,” she said. “Anyway, it smells.”
“We all smell,” he said.
“We’ve been walking for days in the same clothes.”
“Why do you think I just washed myself in an ice-cold stream?”
He caught her under her arms, pulling her towards him.
“Ow!” She squirmed, but managed to keep her feet under her.
He wrapped his arm around her waist to keep her relatively still, using the other to straighten out the shirt.
“Let me go!”
He pulled the shirt over her head, grabbed her arm, and forced it through the sleeve.
“Let me—!”
He pulled the shirt down the rest of the way, hooking his arm under her elbows to force her arms back. “Face it, you aren’t going to be able to overpower me, Lia.”
“You’re hurting me.” She bent, trying to lessen the pressure the position was putting on her shoulders.
He wrapped an arm around her waist again, letting her arms go.
She forced her weight against his arms, breaking away, spinning to face him, and breathing heavily. “I should have left that damn chip in you.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I had some sort of misguided idea that you might like being alive. Obviously I was grievously mistaken. You were looking to be a martyr.”
“Don’t be idiotic.” He watched her, his face dark. “Even if I wanted to be a martyr, what good would dying in some subterranean cavern do? We’d just ‘disappear’ like every other undesirable man in the camps does.”
“Then catch me up, Ben. What do you want?”
He released a breath and then rubbed his arms. “It’s cold. Get your clothes together. I think we convinced Des to let us build a fire tonight. It’ll dry you off quicker than sitting here.”
Dahlia frowned, but nodded, letting the conversation fizzle. She didn’t have the have the energy to attempt to draw out the next series of thoughts she’d have to have to understand what Ben meant.
Ben moved up the hill, pausing to make sure Dahlia followed and took off towards camp.
* * * *
After an endless trek through the forest and then into airport service tunnels, hiding from lazy security personnel, and locating the right plane, they made it, a few at a time, into the cargo hold of a plane headed to New Zealand. Jude looked between his friend and Dahlia from the box he had taken as a perch in the cargo hold of the plane. The animosity, which had been so thick it that it was tangible between them, had dissolved for some reason, leaving a sort of vacuum in its place which neither party appeared able or willing to cross.