Billie crossed to Nathan and extended her hand. “I’m Billie. I would have come by earlier to welcome you to the pack, but it’s been a hectic week.” All eyes rested on her conversation with the Pup.
Nathan shook her hand automatically and appraised her with eyes and nose. “You’re the Beta.”
Billie turned a chair around and sat backwards with her arms folded over the backrest. “Yes. How are you?”
He shrugged. “Couldn’t exactly tell ya.” His eyes looked as haunted as Billie remembered feeling almost eight years before.
Billie nodded. “I remember. Are you still all over the place, or are you leveling out?”
His shoulders slumped and he struggled for words.
Adrienne spoke from the other side of the room. “His exact words a few minutes ago were, ‘I want to fucking kill someone.’” Nathan looked startled. “Wolf ears, kiddo. I can hear you in the other room. And none of us ladies give a shit if you swear.”
Billie scowled at Adrienne, one of her least favorite Wolves. “I’d like to hear it from Nathan.” She met the woman’s eyes until they lowered reluctantly. Turning her attention back to Nathan, she continued. “At first it was the same for me. I just wanted to fucking kill someone. I almost did. After a while the emotional roller coaster started to level out. Was today any easier than a week ago?”
“It was until that bitch hurt my hand.” His temper flared at the memory, his body language threatening Amy. The medic didn’t flinch.
In a flash Billie had Nathan by the throat. Her voice growled menacingly. “That bitch hurt your hand because you grabbed her ass. Do that again to anyone without their permission, and I will personally break your hand and your balls. That bitch is our medic. If you want someone to patch you up when you’re bleeding to death, you’ll apologize to her and show her respect from now on.” Nathan’s glare turned meek. He couldn’t nod or speak, so Billie accepted his surrender and let him go.
He gasped a few breaths and turned to Amy. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you. Don’t do it again.” Amy accepted the apology evenly.
“I won’t.” He meant it, though he looked at Billie.
Jason grinned wickedly from across the room at Amy. “Grabbing your ass is becoming a trend for new Wolves.”
Billie bit back a laugh. “It’s a nice ass.” Amy giggled. Nathan looked confused, so Billie explained. “I did the same thing my first day. She threw me into a wall and broke my nose.” His confusion remained, and Billie huffed. “We’re not uptight, in fact just the opposite. But one thing we never do is touch someone sexually without permission. We’re all on edge because you’re basically a bomb that’s ready to go off. That’s the way it is when a Wolf is turned like we were. The pack got me through it, and we’ll do the same for you. It won’t always be this intense.” He nodded. A faraway look in his eyes made Billie doubt that he understood.
Jason spoke, all business. “We’re headed to Cottonwood Creek, and we’ll run north from there. Let’s go.”
All eight Wolves piled into two vehicles and soon found themselves on a dirt road surrounded by trees. By the time the sun touched the horizon, human habitation lay far behind them, and they pulled over at a wide spot in the road. Outside the vehicles, they stretched and breathed the mountain air deep into their lungs. Amy grabbed her book from the dashboard and climbed on top of John’s old car. Lying on her back under the sky, she quickly lost herself in the novel.
The Wolves walked as one just out of view of the road. Nathan peered around in anticipation. He could feel the pull of the wilds in a way he’d never felt before. Deliberately, no one had explained how to shift yet. Outside of human habitation and surrounded by packmates, it was time.
Jason took the lead with Kathryn at his side. “Shifting is simple once you know how. But the first time can be a shock. You’re both human and wolf now, and when we shift our forms are just like the wolves in these mountains. You’ll have four legs, a tail, fur, and teeth. Your mind is basically the same as it is right now. In wolf form we’re slightly more wolf but still completely ourselves. Instinct is more pronounced. You’ll want to hunt, howl, and do what wolves do. You can choose to return to your human form at any time. The shift works the same both ways.” He let Nathan absorb it all and gave Kathryn a chance to speak if she chose. She did not. “Kathryn and I will stay in our human form until you’ve shifted. The others will shift first and show you how it’s done.”
Jason nodded to Phil, who stripped out of his clothes and shimmered into a sleek wolf, brown with black highlights across his back and a white chin. Nathan’s eyes grew wide. “We get naked?”
“Yes. How do you plan on wearing clothes in wolf form?”
“Oh, yeah.”
Jason nodded to the others, and each in turn discarded their clothes before shifting into their other form. Billie shifted last, nodding reassuringly before shimmering into a bushy grey wolf with black highlights. Kathryn resumed the instructions. “Shifting is natural for us. We will it and we become our other form. When you’re in your wolf form and want to shift back, simply will yourself to be human and you will be. Now feel the wolf in you, the wild nature that’s new in your life. Imagine yourself as a wolf and decide to become the wolf.”
Nathan didn’t pause. He closed his eyes, willing with all his might to become the wolf that he could feel inside of him. He shifted and stood in front of his Pack. To their surprise, a small red desert wolf with a white beard stood in his place. The lean, wiry wolf form contrasted the bulk of his human one.
Seven pairs of eyes watched him, human and wolf. He lifted his feet one by one, testing the feel of standing on four legs. Whining slightly, he arched his head to look behind him and spotted his furred back and tail. The shock hit him and he yelped, backing violently. Adrienne stood rigidly in his way, and he bumped into her. With a snarl he spun around and grabbed her foreleg between his teeth. Muscle and grey fur tore, and blood flowed down her leg. She cried out in pain and anger, snapping at the Pup to let go.
Billie pounced on Nathan immediately, grabbing him by the throat until he released Adrienne’s leg. She held him on the ground, his throat in her powerful jaws, growling him into submission. He fought briefly, trying to find purchase with his claws. His Beta was stronger, and she held him until his ears dropped and his body slackened under her grasp. She stood over him, showing her authority in every movement. After a moment, she stepped back a few paces, giving him permission to stand.
Stumbling to his feet, Nathan’s ears remained low, and he bowed his head in apology. Billie blinked her response. He shook like a German shepherd just out of a bath, yawned, and looked at the wolves around him. Jason’s eyes bore into his. He’d shifted into wolf form during Billie’s distraction, startling Nathan with his sudden appearance. Larger than average, he stood taller and thicker than any of the others. Solid brown across the back with a white underbelly, his color darkened along his face giving him a sinister look. His wolf form reflected his human form so well his packmates sometimes expected to see tattoos through the fur.
Kathryn knelt by Adrienne, assessing her wound. Exposed bone peeked out from torn muscle. It bled freely but not alarmingly. “I’m afraid we must interrupt Amy’s reading. Billie would you be a dear and call her?” Billie looked at the damage for the first time and raised her head in a low howl. Her call would reach the medic’s ears. “She’s not in danger and Amy will be here in moments. I can wait with her if the rest of you would like to continue.”
Jason and Billie nodded. They could hear Amy’s footsteps quickly, approaching at a sprint on two legs. Ordinarily they’d stay with an injured packmate, but Nathan needed the release only running could bring. Until he let his wolf nature out and ran off his pent-up energy, he could lash out again, injuring others. They entrusted Adrienne to Kathryn and Amy’s care and continued.
Jason led them further into the hills, the pack running behind him. Billie stayed near Nathan where she could keep watch over
him. Racing through the trees for the first time, Nathan panted in joy, tongue lolling like a puppy. Billie smiled widely, relieved his first shift went smoother than her own, and savored the run.
Billie smelled a rabbit and yelped her discovery. She motioned for Nathan to join the hunt, the others following at a polite distance. Together they chased the terrified creature through the brush, nearly catching it before it slipped into a hole. Grinning, the Wolves sat for a moment enjoying the quiet night. Billie broke into song and the others joined until a chorus of howls rose into the starlit sky. They sang not for purpose but simply for the joy of singing.
They ran until the moon set and eventually traced back to their starting point. Billie shifted first, pulling clothes out of the makeshift cubby. Addressing Nathan, she spoke as she pulled on her jeans. “Choose to be human and the shift will happen.” The Pup sat on his haunches and looked at her blankly, an obstinate gesture. Billie held his gaze, her shirt still in her hands. “You can’t stay in wolf form. Shift.” He whined against her order, shifting his feet nervously but refusing. Billie advanced two steps, menacingly. “Don’t make me kick your ass. Now shift!”
Almost instantly he knelt on the pine needle floor in human form, eyes wide with alarm. Billie nodded and pulled her shirt over her head. Nathan dressed quickly, darting his eyes in Billie’s direction as he did so.
Jason, clothed only in jeans and wearing an amused expression, complimented Nathan. “Good run. You did well for your first time out.” Nathan smiled at the praise. “Word of warning. Neither Billie nor I are in the habit of repeating ourselves. Not with words, anyway. You got off easy just now.”
Nathan nodded meekly. He began to speak and then stopped himself. “Say it, man,” Jason replied.
“I thought the naked bit would be sexy. But when she was comin’ at me with her shirt off, it was scarier somehow.”
Jason laughed and slapped him on the back. “She’s as tough as they come. Be glad she’s on your side.” Halfway back to the cars, Billie overheard the exchange and smirked.
Chapter 5
I woke to silence and the mental noise of several people coming into Billie’s home. Alarmed, I froze and then relaxed as the sleep fog lifted enough to identify Billie, Kathryn, and Amy. According to the lack of light coming through the windows, it was either very late or very early.
We didn’t mean to scare you, love. We were trying not to wake you.
That’s okay. I’m just jumpy these days. I’ll be right down. Donning one of Billie’s silk bathrobes, I made my way down the stairs.
“Being quiet works about as well on a Mage as it does on a Wolf,” Amy grinned cheekily. The three women stood in the kitchen eating muffins. “Good to know in case I ever need to sneak up on one.” I appreciated how Amy didn’t tiptoe around my heritage. She appraised my healing bruises silently. As Pack Medic, it was her job. Still I appreciated that she didn’t make a fuss.
“That’s an idea, actually.” I yawned involuntarily. “I could help you guys train.” I looked at the clock, and decided to stay awake. Opening the cupboard, I pulled out a bag of coffee grounds and heated some water on the stove.
Kathryn gave me an indecipherable look. “The Pack needs a little time to become accustomed to the idea that you’re one of us. I hope in time you will help us against adversarial Mages.”
Amy swallowed a piece of muffin. “Yeah, it’s too soon for that. I don’t want anyone getting excited and thinking you’re a real Mage invader. Mage Invader. I like that. It has a nice ring to it. I don’t like saying ‘Mages’ anymore as if you’re all the same. Not now that I know you.” She pointed a muffin-filled hand in my direction. Words have power. And I for one am tired of certain people calling her Mage instead of using her name.”
Kathryn’s face tightened. “I’m doing my best to show him his prejudice.” Her voice softened and she met my eyes. “Be patient with him, my dear. The nightmares had just begun to fade when you came to us. He’s facing his greatest fear and his deepest pain with you. It’s bringing out the worst in him.”
“I know. It hurts that he suddenly hates me, but I can’t blame him for it.” Kathryn’s response to her husband’s attitude touched me. I hadn’t wanted to tell her how deeply Richard’s rejection hurt me.
“I cannot condone bigotry in a man who has fought against it his entire life.” Kathryn looked me squarely in the eye. “He needs to see the hypocrisy in his words and come to terms with who you are.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” I responded slowly.
“Of course not,” Amy piped in. “You’ve been too busy thinking you deserve it.”
I startled at the truth in my friends’ statement. “You’re right. I don’t even know any other Mages and I’m comparing myself to them.”
“You are who you choose to be,” Kathryn stated succinctly.
Billie enjoyed the conversation silently, watching my eyes open. The water began to boil. “Anyone else want a cup?” Everyone nodded, so I filled the French Press to the brim. “How was the run?”
Amy giggled. “Adrienne was injured.” Stunned at her joy over an injury, I cast her a bemused look. She went on to explain. “It was her own fault. Pure stubbornness. And she’ll be fine in a couple of days.”
Billie explained. “Nathan was panicking and instead of moving out of his way, she let him run into her. He snapped and took a bite out of her leg. She knows better.” Billie clearly didn’t think very highly of Adrienne despite her neutral words.
Amy continued. “I didn’t see that part, but she was all upset at Billie. Only I couldn’t tell if she was upset at Billie for saving her or for not saving her quick enough.”
Kathryn added her two cents. “Both.”
“You saved her?” I asked Billie, pride swelling in me.
“I pinned him until he calmed down.” She shrugged as if unimportant.
Amy elaborated excitedly. “Nathan was chewing Adrienne’s leg off, so Billie grabbed him by the throat until he rolled over. Second time she did that today, only the first time it was because he grabbed my butt. Then they chased a rabbit.”
I shook my head at her. “Just when I think I’m getting used to your world, Amy says something to make it sound completely bizarre.” Billie laughed so hard, she choked on her muffin.
Amy’s eyes lit up. “The coffee smells ready.”
I extracted coffee cups, sugar, and creamer from their various locations, feeling comfortable in Billie’s kitchen. “So does that mean his first run went well or not well?”
Billie grinned, “It went well. He only panicked once, we sustained one moderate injury, and he returned to human form when I threatened him. Compared to my first run, it went very well.”
Amy nodded, solemnly. “Yep. I remember that one. I had three very injured patients that night. Didn’t get any sleep. It was pure luck that Richard didn’t bleed out, and you were a furball of broken bones before you stopped fighting. Could have been a lot worse!”
I turned to my friends curiously. “What was it like for the two of you?”
Kathryn smiled warmly. “It was lovely. The full moon was high, and my best friend ran beside me.”
Amy nodded. “Feeling four feet beneath me for the first time. It was perfect, like I knew exactly who I was for the first time in my entire life. We feasted on a deer my first run.”
“I fed on a hare,” Kathryn reminisced.
Billie sipped her coffee in silence as her friends compared memories. You feel cheated out of something special. I commented. Billie nodded without reply.
Kathryn noticed the solemn exchange. “Much is different for those who are turned forcibly. Many of our special memories are haunted for them. That is not our way.”
Billie assured her friends and mate. “I love being Wolf. If that’s the way it had to begin in order for me to have this life, I’m happy for it.” Billie put an arm around my waist. “If I hadn’t been bit, I would never have moved to Boise, and I wouldn’t have me
t you. How can I complain?” She pulled me close, kissing me deeply.
“Okay, now I’m getting jealous!” Amy protested. “I’m 91 years old and haven’t found my mate. Billie finds hers at 33.”
Kathryn patted her hand. “You’ll find your mate, my dear. I was not young when I found Richard.”
Amy jumped at the opportunity to pester. “Which would make you how old?” she questioned.
Kathryn smiled sweetly but did not respond.
Amy retorted. “100? 120? Come on, Kathryn! We’ve been trying to guess your age for years.” Kathryn only patted her hand again, enjoying the endless game.
Amy sputtered. “Okay, Sadie, I know you’ve got rules and all. But please will you do this one little thing for us and find out how old she is?”
Kathryn glanced serenely between the women as I shook my head. “Nope. I promised Jason.” I turned a conspiratorial look at the women and placed a finger to my chin. “Does anyone outside the pack know her age? Because I only promised to stay out of Pack minds.”
Amy and Billie began brainstorming. I winked at Kathryn who replied with a bemused grin.
After a time Billie glanced at the clock. “I have to go. I told Nathan we’d meet after breakfast and a rest. That would be about now. I’ll be home this afternoon. Will you still be here, or do you have plans?”
“Other than a long hot bath, I have no plans for my day.”
“My bathroom has the best jets, and you’ll find bath oils and salts beneath the sink,” she offered. “Enjoy. I’ll see you later.” Billie kissed me lightly and hugged her friends goodbye.
Amy and Kathryn lingered only a little longer. Amy asked how I felt and touched my face to assure herself the bruise was healing cleanly. “Your eye’s red now. Any change in your vision?” I said no. “That happens a lot, and it’s usually nothing to worry about. If your vision changes at all, call me right away.”
Psyche Honor (Psyche Moon) Page 4