The Completionist

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The Completionist Page 18

by Siobhan Adcock


  as a pregnant woman I certainly know better now

  Aaaaaaaaanyway the guy is all You can’t treat her like this,

  there’s some kind of mistake, do you know who she is, do

  you know who I am, blah blah blah, I was kind of

  embarrassed for him to tell you the truth

  Especially when Security was like, She’s wanted

  by the Department of Health

  Because HIS family is actually DOH and they’re despicably

  rich la la la and powerful la la la so he gets this look on

  his face like Oh you are gonna be sorry and he makes a

  call and five minutes later I’m being picked up

  in a driverless for my first appt with the head of the

  Completionist clinic at New Chicago University Hospital

  and he’s all, I’m coming with you

  to make sure you’re safe

  and that’s when I was like good because you’re the father.

  Jun 06 7:42 PM

  OMG. SCREAMING.

  Jun 06 7:42 PM

  So it has been rather a theatrical day.

  Jun 06 7:43 PM

  I’m sorry but I can’t even breathe I’m laughing

  so hard. You are PRICELESS.

  Jun 06 7:43 PM

  Well. That’s an interesting word choice.

  And it would be nice if it were true.

  But as it turns out there’s quite a price

  All that stuff you said

  the administrative charges, the retroactive Care Hours

  the point penalties

  all of it

  It’s unreal

  I’m not kidding

  I’ve never even seen numbers like that

  Before Ken intervened they were talking about

  stuff they can do to me

  To Pop

  To you

  Gard, I’m fucking terrified

  Jun 06 7:46 PM

  Will he help?

  Jun 06 7:46 PM

  That’s part of why I’m fucking terrified

  He’s already applying for us to get married

  It’ll be expedited

  bc of who his family is

  I feel like

  I know how this is going to sound I guess

  but I feel like I just got sold to someone

  Jun 06 7:50 PM

  Fred. I want to tell you I’m sorry.

  I’ve been feeling like

  such a shit for even suggesting it, that you

  actually marry some guy just

  for the Care Hours.

  You don’t have to go through with it.

  We’ll figure out something. I’ll help you.

  Pop can help you. Even Carter could help you,

  I know he would want to if he knew—

  families can arrange to pool Care Hours,

  I’ve seen it. It’s complicated but

  a lot of the women at my night clinic are

  doing it now, pooling with their sisters and

  aunts and parents if the father’s not in the

  picture for whatever reason or if they couldn’t

  get a marriage approval.

  I can help set that up for you!

  Jun 06 7:56 PM

  BTW I’m three months already. I’m due in January.

  Jun 06 7:56 PM

  Oh my God. No wonder.

  You must be

  how many Care Hours did

  wait

  that’s got to be in the millions

  Jun 06 7:58 PM

  It is.

  I think I have a plan.

  In the meantime I have no choice but to keep working

  because I’ve got to sell my company and I have to

  do it fast.

  They can come for my whole family if I can’t pay the balance.

  I assume you know that.

  Jun 06 8:00 PM

  Yeah.

  Jun 06 8:01 PM

  I’ve got to go.

  Jun 06 8:01 PM

  OK. I love you.

  Jun 06 8:01 PM

  Love you too.

  JULY 3

  Jul 03 6:12 PM

  Pop told me.

  You don’t have to do this.

  Jul 03 6:13 PM

  Too late. It’s all arranged.

  It’s the only way.

  Jul 03 6:13 PM

  This is crazy.

  Jul 03 6:14 PM

  Is it? To me it makes total sense. It makes me feel

  like a princess in a fucking fairy tale. Or like a fucking

  fourteenth-century farmer’s daughter getting married

  off for a field full of fucking goats. I’ve got a fucking

  DOWRY, how many women can say that in this day and age?

  Jul 03 6:17 PM

  Not funny

  Jul 03 6:17 PM

  Oh I’ve just been laughing and laughing about it

  Now don’t go getting all sad and fucking shit up for me

  It all still has to be made official

  And it’s all a little bit under the table

  Like most masterful negotiations are, ho ho

  No shitting I’m really pretty fucking proud of myself

  Jul 03 6:20 PM

  But what’s Ken’s family even going to do with

  a technology consulting firm? What are they

  going to do with your business, just hold it for you?

  Jul 03 6:22 PM

  Well, Ken’s family isn’t going to buy it, not exactly.

  Ken’s father’s friends are going to carve it up and

  buy the pieces, and he gets an ownership stake in

  all the pieces so he really gets like 3 businesses for the

  price of one son. Plus bragging rights. The guy is legit over

  the moon to be having a grandchild, and one born of LOVE

  and not CHEMICALS (actual quote). In exchange I get someone

  to share my points quota with, after the baby’s born, plus a few

  million bucks to pay off some of the Care Hours I’ve

  already accrued. In just a couple short months we’ll all be

  free and clear, but it’s all got to go down exactly as I

  planned it and no fuckups. But I think it’ll all be okay. I made

  a good deal for myself. No worries. Your big sister’s

  no dumb-ass. A little bit of a whore maybe but no dumb-ass

  Jul 03 6:25 PM

  Jesus, Fred

  Jul 03 6:25 PM

  KIDDING I’M KIDDING God

  Such a fucking puritanical goody

  Don’t worry

  Jul 03 6:26 PM

  I’m worried about you

  Jul 03 6:26 PM

  I’m the one who’s worried about YOU

  not like you’ll let me do anything about it.

  Don’t worry about me. I’ve got this shit covered.

  Jul 03 6:27 PM

  If that’s true, then congratulations. I mean it.

  I’m proud of you. We’ve all always been so

  proud of you, Fredlet.

  Jul 03 6:28 PM

  Me? What did I ever do? You’re the one who made Pop’s

  dreams of having all his kids bloody up to the

  elbows in other people’s guts come at least 1/3 of the way true

  Jul 03 6:28 PM

  You’re kind of gross when you’re exultant.

  Jul 03 6:29 PM

  You know, no one’s ever said that to me before.

  Go to bed.

  Love you. Good night.

  SEPTEMBER 13

  Sep 13 3:03 AM

  Gard something’s wrong

  I’m scared to call my Completionist

  But I’m scared something’s really wrong

  Can I come over? Please please please

  There’s blood I think it’s blood

  Sep 13 3:04 AM

  Stay where you are I’m coming to you

  don’t mo
ve and don’t call anyone until I

  get there

  Sep 13 3:05 AM

  If I lose this baby I lose everything

  Sep 13 3:05 AM

  Fred just hang on

  I’m at work

  But I’ve got a driverless coming

  to pick me up in

  3 minutes

  Sep 13 3:06 AM

  OK

  hurry

  Sep 13 3:07 AM

  What are you feeling?

  Sep 13 3:07 AM

  Cramping? Or maybe

  contractions?

  I can’t tell what’s happening

  I didn’t want this to happen

  Sep 13 3:09 AM

  Fred I’m on my way just sit still

  breathe

  and get off this thing I don’t think it can

  possibly be helping

  SEPTEMBER 15

  Sep 15 5:22 PM

  Hey.

  Sep 15 5:24 PM

  Hi. Thank you. Again.

  For trying.

  Sep 15 5:24 PM

  You don’t need to thank me. I’m just sorry I

  couldn’t do more. What happened?

  Sep 15 5:25 PM

  It’s okay. I’m at Ken’s parents’ place now.

  They’re taking care of everything

  Sep 15 5:25 PM

  That’s what Mr. Walker told me.

  Sep 15 5:26 PM

  They’re all DOH and H2.0

  It’s good

  I’m covered

  Don’t worry

  I’m sorry I couldn’t wait for you

  I didn’t wait for you

  Sep 15 5:27 PM

  It’s OK.

  How are you feeling?

  Sep 15 5:27 PM

  Tired

  Sep 15 5:27 PM

  Let me know if you need anything

  Anything at all

  SEPTEMBER 19

  Sep 19 6:42 AM

  Fred. I was thinking.

  Have you told CQ what’s going on yet?

  I think he should know, right?

  It’s time someone told him.

  Let me know if you want me to do it.

  Sep 19 6:42 AM

  No. I will. I will today.

  Sep 19 6:48 AM

  Fred, I need to ask you something

  Sep 19 6:49 AM

  What’s up

  Sep 19 6:51 AM

  Gard. You there

  Sep 19 6:52 AM

  Yeah

  I just wanted to ask

  are you mad?

  Sep 19 6:52 AM

  Why would I be mad?

  Sep 19 6:53 AM

  Because I didn’t get there fast enough

  that night that you had your scare.

  I’ve been thinking about it

  and feeling terrible.

  I was at work

  and I told you to sit there and wait for me

  instead of calling DOH

  like you did

  which is what I should have told you to do

  in the first place.

  I didn’t take you seriously enough

  and I just didn’t get there

  fast enough. I didn’t get to you in time

  to see how serious it was

  or to help you

  or even just hold your hand.

  I’m really really sorry.

  I really wanted to help.

  Sep 19 6:57 AM

  It’s fine. Really.

  The baby is fine. I’m fine.

  Everything ended up fine.

  Please don’t worry.

  Sep 19 6:58 AM

  OK.

  Love you.

  Sep 19 6:58 AM

  Love you too

  SEPTEMBER 20

  Sep 20 9:58 PM

  Fred.

  Sep 20 9:58 PM

  What’s up?

  Sep 20 9:59 PM

  I’m sorry.

  Sep 20 9:59 PM

  It’s okay.

  Sep 20 10:00 PM

  And I wanted to tell you why.

  If you want to hear.

  I wanted you to know why I couldn’t leave

  the clinic right away, why I

  couldn’t get to you right away.

  Sep 20 10:02 PM

  Gard, it’s all right.

  Whatever happened, it’s all right.

  Trust me.

  Sep 20 10:04 PM

  I owe you so much, Fred.

  Sep 20 10:04 PM

  What are you talking about?

  You don’t owe me anything.

  Sep 20 10:05 PM

  Yes I do. Yes I totally do. It was you who

  took care of us when we were kids, after

  Mom. You protected me and

  CQ, all the way, until we were way too old for it.

  You made it possible for me to be who

  I am and to do what I’m doing. I owe you a lot.

  And I love you for it. That’s all I wanted to say.

  But also I thought you deserved to know.

  If you want to. If you want to hear.

  I’ll tell you if you want to hear.

  Sep 20 10:08 PM

  You know I do.

  It’s only ALL I’ve been asking you to tell me

  this whole year

  It’s why I made this private portal connection for our

  wearables. You KNOW I have been asking you

  and asking you and sick with worry for you

  YES COME ON AND TELL ME

  At this point I haul myself into the kitchen and throw open Gard’s freezer door and stick my wearable arm inside, up to the shoulder. After a moment’s hesitation I put my head inside, too, and rest my throbbing forehead on a plastic packet of what feels like engineered mixed vegetables. My eyeballs feel like they’re being dragged out of their sockets by invisible hooks and my arm is a streak of flames.

  Otherwise, I feel great.

  I don’t know how much time I just spent in the middle of my sisters’ messages flicking back and forth, but it felt comfortingly like being back on base flipping through old messages on my wearable. Or, really, like being a little kid, faking sleep, listening to them whispering back and forth across our bedroom in the dark. I don’t remember if I ever actually did that, but right now it feels like I did.

  Breathing in the cold air of Gard’s freezer, feeling my lungs tighten and my muscles contract, I also can’t help but notice that my head doesn’t hurt. I don’t even think I’m that drunk anymore. I would take this, whatever this is, over another dose of Dr. Rafiq’s mystery meds any fucking day. I guess it’s no mystery; it’s just love. Big, dumb, backward brother-love for these two fucked-up girls I ended up sharing DNA and a pair of painful parents with. I don’t know half of what they’ve been doing while I’ve been at the Wars, but I’ve always known I would do anything for them, anything at all. Even though from what I’m reading now, I barely feature in this version of their lives. Pop and me both, we’re hardly even mentioned. Fred knew she was pregnant all the way back in June, and didn’t tell anybody but Gard till just a few months ago. I don’t know why I don’t feel more surprised, or jealous. But I don’t.

  To close my eyes and keep reading, keep hearing their voices in my head, is all I want to do on earth right now, but with the portal across the room it feels like my eyes and my wearable are both straining harder than I really want to deal with. So I stagger back into the other room, swipe up the portal, make my way back to the freezer, prop the portal up on some notional corn and carrots. I’ve skipped a page and I can’t figure out how to go backward but I don’t care. It’s Gard’s voice, so clear and strong and sad it’s like she’s really here, although I don’t think in reality I could bear to hear her say these things.

  Sep 20 10:12 PM

  While I was in training to become a nurse,

  I sometimes saw

  women coming in to the hospital with self-inflicted

  injuries, saying they’d had
accidents. These women

  always had little kids. Or their sisters did. Or their kids did.

  Birth rate is way down,

  we all know that, and we all know it’s because of H2.0,

  but all that doesn’t mean there aren’t still women

  all around us

  going through Completion in some stage or other.

  We have a theory about it at our clinic

  I’ll tell you about it sometime.

  Anyway.

  Eventually one of the other NCs explained it to me.

  If you have an accident or get hurt badly enough

  the number of Care Hours you have to log goes down

  a prorated amount that’s

  proportional to the severity of the injury.

  This NC told me,

  “A kitchen burn gets you off the hook

  for an hour—

  which is enough time to, say, go to a job interview.”

  She wouldn’t say anything else but I never forgot that.

  And I learned it myself, of course

  eventually.

  A broken toe gets you about 20 hours a week

  for 6 to 8 weeks, which is enough time to cover

  a second job. That’s a

  popular Markup at my night clinic, especially since

  the pain isn’t bad and you’re still pretty mobile

  while you heal up.

  Sep 20 10:25 PM

  Gard. Fuck.

  Sep 20 10:25 PM

  I know how it sounds.

  Believe me I know.

  Listen. I know you’re new to the Care Hours

  system.

  But all women, regardless of whether

  they can afford it, are expected to spend 80 hours

  per week on childcare, even if they also work 40

  hours per week. If a woman has 2 jobs, which many

  do, then the math becomes unsustainable.

  And women are good at finding a way out of no way.

  Sep 20 10:29 PM

  I don’t know what to say.

  A Markup? That’s what you call

  breaking a woman’s toe? A Markup?

  Who would ask for something like that?

  Sep 20 10:31 PM

  They’re all just barely making it.

  I don’t think you understand.

  Anyway once that nurse put the idea in my head,

  I just saw it happening more. You’d be surprised.

  At almost any hospital, you’ll find nurses

  who will inflate the severity of an injury report

 

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