by Ria Cantrell
“I do not wish to talk about it.”
“Very well. Perhaps after you calm down, you will tell me. Or your best friend will tell me.”
“Stop saying that. Drew is not my best friend.”
“Oh, nay? Is he not? You saved his life all those years ago during that campaign. He was sick with worry for you and for me. He took matters into his own hands to help you.”
“He has been holed up in bed with that Scottish doxy while I cooled my heels in the royal prison.”
Rhianna again tenderly dabbed her husband’s face and more gently she said, “I know Bronwyn represents all the bad things that happened to you. I know you are upset about how it all came to pass, but she is no more responsible than you. She is also a victim in this terrible game our king so willfully played. Please realize that by Drew loving her, he has not become disloyal to you. This has nothing to do with you. People fall in love. Drew has fallen in love. Bronwyn loves Drew, too.”
“She is a Scot,” Erik spat like it was an obscenity. Rhianna rolled her eyes and placated, “Yes, she is a horrible evil Scot. But she loves Drew. You know, she really is a nice person.”
Erik was far from convinced. In fact the mention of the she-dog’s virtues caused his temper to flare again. Rhianna was trying to be patient with this new black mood of his. She knew that his time spent imprisoned was more horrible than she could imagine. He had nothing to do but stew over the situation and brew an anger that found a home in thoughts of loathing for Bronwyn. It had festered to this unnatural hatred, which was not really like something that Erik did. Rhianna kissed Erik’s jaw and said, “I am sorry that Rurik struck you.”
Erik shrugged and grumbled, “T’is of no consequence.”
Rhianna took Erik’s hand and said, “Come to bed now. After some rest, things will be able to be put right in the morning.”
Erik just shook his head, still silently brooding.
“Alright, then. I am going to sleep for a while. We have to leave quite early in the morning if we want to make it home by nightfall.”
Suddenly those words seemed to break through Erik’s black mood. He looked at Rhianna and said, “There really is no rush, my love. If we have to stop again along the way, we will. You rest as much as you need.”
“Aye. Know that whatever you are pondering and worrying about tonight is of no matter. I love you.”
Erik’s shoulders finally dropped in supplication. He had been such a dolt. He said, “I love you too. Rhi?”
“Yes?”
Erik sighed heavily and he said, “I don’t know how to fix this.”
“Yes you do. And when you have had time to think it through, you will remember.”
“I am sorry, Rhi.”
She kissed him sweetly and said, “You have nothing to apologize to me about. I understand you. You are a part of me and I love you. But know this, I want my husband back…soon.”
Erik understood and his heart opened. She was right, or course, about everything. He would apologize in the morning to everyone.
Chapter Twenty
Drew tried to find Bronwyn in their chambers, but upon arriving there, he found her missing. He hurried back to the main hall through the kitchens and buttery and heard the unmistakable sounds of someone crying. He found a door with a self-closing latch at the back of the pantry. At this late hour, there were no people or maids about in the kitchens and he could still hear the sounds of sobs wafting up from behind the door. Bronwyn must have found herself locked out. Lifting the latch, Drew opened the door and peered into the inky blackness.
This passage undoubtedly led to the stores below and usually these places were dark and cold. Upon opening the door, the sound of sobbing grew louder as it echoed from the black depths below. Drew propped a sack of flour between the door and its opening so they would not both be locked down there and he carefully felt his way down the treacherous steps. He called, “Bronnie…it’s me. I am coming for you.”
He got to the bottom of the steps and found her sitting there weeping uncontrollably. Drew stroked her heaving shoulders and said, “Shsshhh, my sweet. Do not cry. I have found you. No need to spend the night in the cellars.”
But both of them knew she was not just crying because she had gotten locked below. He stroked her face and said, “What are you doing down here?”
“I…I thought this lead to a passage outside. Passages such as these do in castles in Scotland. I thought to get away from the Viking…and you.”
“Me? Why would you want to get away from me, love?”
Bronwyn hiccupped in her sobs and said, “Drew, Erik is right. Ye’ should find an English wife.”
Drew’s hand rubbed soothingly up her back and he said, “I don’t want an English wife. I want you.”
“But what sort of life will we have if everyone hates me? In time, ye’ will come to hate me too. Yer’ family willna’ accept me and nor will mine ye’.”
“I think they will. They have always hoped I would settle down from my wild ways and take a wife. I know my mother wants to spend her old age spoiling grandchildren…and I have not given her any that I know of,” he said wistfully. “At least not yet. I know my family will love you. As for yours, well, they will come to accept me in time. You were to marry an Englishman anyway.”
Drew gathered her in her arms and held her. She felt drawn into his warmth and she allowed it to seep into her chilled flesh. Through sniffled sobs, she explained, “I thought this lead outside…then I heard the latch lock behind me. I could not see even to go forward and knew I was locked out.”
“Manor houses are different from castles, love. This is a passage to the stores. It ends further below. It is meant to be colder than outside even. Come, before you catch your death of cold.”
Drew took her frigid hand and led her carefully up the stairs toward the small shaft of murky light that penetrated the black corridor. He felt her gripping his hand as if her life depended on it. Once inside the kitchens, Drew set Bronwyn near the banked fire, which still emitted warmth from the glowing embers. He said, “Warm yourself for a few minutes and I will see that our quarters have a fire ready in the hearth.”
Bronwyn wanted to run away, still feeling the sadness come upon her like a wave of despair, but at the moment she was too cold to move. Her fingers felt numb and her feet were just starting to get the tingling back into them. She felt chilled to the bone. It was not very long before Drew came back for her, and he wrapped his arms around her. Feeling his drugging warmth, Bronwyn settled into his arms. Little by little, his body heat seeped into her chilled skin. He tucked her head beneath his chin, and he brushed a stray tendril of chestnut silk from her face. He could still feel her pushing back a wayward sob. She had not completely stopped crying. He said, “You have cried so many tears since we met already. I aim to change that.”
While Bronwyn wanted nothing more than to find happiness with Drew, she knew now that would never be possible. She could not make Drew sacrifice his status for her. It made her heart hurt to think about but she loved him already too much to cause him further dishonor. She ignored the small voice that warned, he is the one…ye’ canna’ deny him. She did not want to think of those childhood dreams and fancies now.
Bronwyn followed Drew up to the comfortable room that had been prepared for them. There was already a fire burning in the hearth and the room had a warm glow. Quickly the chill of her ordeal was slipping away. The bed looked inviting with warm furs piled upon it. She looked around and made her decision. She would spend this last night with Drew and fill it with passion, and then she would leave him. Bronwyn did not want to give in to the sadness that was swallowing her heart. She had to love him tonight, body and soul. She knew she would never love another man like she loved her beloved Drew. Tonight she would forget her plan. Tonight she would love him with all she was. She turned to Drew and kissed him deeply. She said, “Make love to me. I need you so much right now.”
He kissed her, feeling her cool lips
warm as his lips touched them. He felt the desperation in her kiss and once again her raw emotions spawned a wild passion in her. Without too much effort, their clothes were off in a matter of seconds. Fingers and lips devoured each other hungrily. Drew ached to be inside of her. He took her to the bed and laid her upon it. She opened herself to him and accepted him deeply. She moaned feeling him hard and thick, filling her completely. She forced herself not to think about how she would miss him. She did not want to think about how her heart would break without him. He deepened his thrusts and he looked into her beautiful face. He saw the unshed tears still leaking from the corners of her eyes. He kissed them away, never wanting to cause her to shed them again.
As she moved with him and loved him, he felt her respond to every pulse. She was so natural with him and unafraid to give of herself. He loved how she responded to him and the way she clenched tightly around him. She was quickly bringing him to the brink of control. Bronwyn’s eyes never left his face, as if she was remembering every detail. She wanted to drown in those depthless green pools. He moaned when she took him deeply. He leaned down and kissed her. She whispered, “I will love ye’ forever.” Drew then knew that somehow she completed him and that nothing else was more important in his world.
When they both laid spent and sated, Drew held Bronwyn close, lazily stroking her. He felt wonderfully content and he knew that sleep would soon claim him. Bronwyn waited to feel him relax in sleep. Her heart was breaking, realizing that she was truly going to leave him. She held her breath as she slid out of bed beside him, anticipating him waking immediately upon her movement. He was a warrior after all and she was certain he would feel the slightest shift of her body.
When she saw he continued to sleep, she threw on her clothes haphazardly. She was grateful for the sliver of moonlight that spilled into the room so at least she could see around the place and not bump into anything and create a noise to wake Drew. Bronwyn felt sick inside to leave Drew, but she knew she could not stay and make him lose everything. It had been foolish for her to believe that love would wash away old hatreds between English and Scot. She had always known not to believe and hope in the dreams of childhood. This could not be fixed now.
There was a small desk in the room and Bronwyn found a small sheaf of parchment and an inkwell and quill. She dashed out a quick note that simply said, “Dearest Drew, I love you too much to stay. B.”
She tiptoed back to the bed and she looked at him a final time. She choked back a sob and she placed the note beside him on his pillow. In Gaelic, she whispered how much she loved him and she took her leave. She carefully shut the door and hastily made her way back to the stables.
All was quiet. The groom slept on a cot in the front of the stable room. Bronwyn woke him and gave him a story that he did not question. He led her horse out of the darkened stall and she mounted it in the gloom. The night air was cold, but Bronwyn barely felt it. She was numb to the cold with the pain leaving Drew had created. Suddenly, Bronwyn just wanted to go home.
She looked back at the quiet manor and headed up the North Road. She knew the trip to Scotland would take many days, at the very least, but she could not think about that now. She just needed to put miles between Drew and herself. She could not think about what she had done or what lay ahead for her. It was almost like she rode up the road in a horrible dreamlike state. She was barely aware of the miles being eaten up beneath the hooves of her mount.
Only, she could not put Drew from her mind. She would never be able to put Drew from her mind, and certainly never from her heart. With every mile that led her away from Drew, Bronwyn grew more aware of how she had made a terrible mistake. Though she had not ridden far, it felt like she had ridden for days. By the time she realized she must return to Drew, she was quite lost. In her grief, she had taken turns on the roads and she had long strayed from the course and main road. She had no way of knowing which road led back to the manor. Her fingers were numb with the bitter cold and she could barely hold onto the reins. Her spine was stiff and achy from the dampness that had seeped into her. Daylight was still hours away and the darkness only further disoriented her.
Bronwyn felt so tired; like she was carrying a heavy yoke upon her shoulders. She thought to rest for a while, and then with the light of dawn, she would seek to return to Drew and beg his forgiveness. She realized that despite the strife he would face, she could not live without him, now. How foolish she had been to think that she could. Bronwyn swiped at the fresh tears that had formed on her cheeks and decided to find a secluded spot to rest her horse and herself. She knew it was dangerous to be on the open road. She led her mare through a copse of trees and decided to use the forest floor for her bed. Bronwyn found a tall pine that had shed an abundance of needles and decided that pine cover would provide a soft barrier from the cold hard ground.
Tethering her mare to the tree, she tucked her cloak around her and leaned against the trunk to rest. She tried not to think about the level of cold as she hoped to sleep for a little while. She was grateful to have her plaid with her as well, as its heavy wool provided extra protection against the seeping and digging cold. How long had it been since that night under the stars with Morag? Bronwyn had not spent a night outdoors since that fateful night. At least that night she had taken the sleeping draught. This night she had nothing but the cold to numb her; and numb her it did. She could barely feel her fingers and toes.
She thought of her brothers and how they often would spend nights out on duty, and she knew none of them would dare complain about it. In fact, she was pretty certain that they even relished it. She had grown soft, and now she was paying for it. Not only the cold was keeping her awake, but the sounds of the forest were unnerving. She started at every twig snap or rustle of leaves.
After an hour or so and with very little rest, Bronwyn sighed. Sleeping in the forest was another very bad idea, so she got back up and tried to find her way back to the main road. She led her mare by the reins. The more she walked the further lost she became. When Bronwyn thought all hope was lost, she smelled the smoke from a campfire. Perhaps she had run into travelers who would not mind sharing the fire with her to warm herself for the night. Bronwyn could see the distant glow of the fire burning further into the woods. There was a clearing just ahead of her.
When she broke through the trees, Bronwyn saw two men sitting by the fire. Her hope died instantly. There was only one type of man who traveled alone at night. These were men who would not be honor bound. It was too late. They had seen her. As a gasp died in her throat, one man had sprung to his feet and held a knife against her neck.
“Well, what do we have here?”
“Please, I mean no harm. I am lost.”
The other man joined his cohort and he grabbed the reins from her numb fingers.
“Jack, lookie, lookie, a Scotch bitch.” The one called Jack leered at her and said, “Aye and bitches oft are in heat. This one will warm the chill out of me…heat or no.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Drew woke with a start. He reached for Bronwyn and found her side of the bed cold. He saw the note and fury exploded in him like a burgeoning storm. That little fool! He threw his clothes on hastily and thundered down the hall to Erik’s room. He practically kicked the door in, when Erik opened it, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“What the hell are you doing, Drew?” Drew shoved the note at Erik.
“She’s gone because of your cruelness.”
Erik wanted to say good riddance but as he saw the fury and anguish on Drew’s face, he thought better of it.
“You are going to help me find her. It’s that simple.”
Erik had never taken an order from Drew, but something in Drew’s voice made him realize he’d better not cross him now. He was absolutely murderous. Rhianna had thrown on a dressing gown and came to the door.
“What happened?”
“She left me, Rhi, because she thought it would be best for me. I have to find her.” Rhianna nodded solemnly
.
“Erik will go with you. Rurik and Randall will see me home.” Erik shot her a look and she countered it with one of warning.
“You will go with him, Erik. Bronwyn is in great danger,” she blurted out without realizing what she had said and what she truly sensed. Drew turned to face her, knowing she felt it as surely he had.
“Do you sense that she is--hurt?” Rhianna paled and said, “I do not know. I am not sure. I just know you need to find her quickly and to hurry.”
Rhianna closed her eyes and tried to feel and sense Bronwyn. When she opened her eyes, she looked up at Drew. She said, “She headed north. That is all I can tell. But Drew, she…”
“What, Rhianna, what?”
“I feel like she was coming back. That she could not bear to leave you.”
Drew swallowed the bitter truth of it down and said, “Yes, well, she did leave me. And now her ill-thought out plan has put her in danger.”
Rhianna knew his pride was wounded. She also knew now was not the time to nurse wounded pride.
“Go quickly.”
To Erik, she turned and said, “Make this right, love.”
He just nodded and followed Drew to the stables, but before going, Rhianna gave Drew an extra cloak for Bronwyn knowing how cold she would be, when they found her. The groom told Drew that the Scottish lass had headed North on the road. Drew exploded, “How could you have let a lone woman travel on her own?”
“She…she seemed determined. Said she got word her mother was ill and that she had to return home”, the hackneyed groom stammered.
“Her mother! Her mother is deceased! If she got word, would not she be escorted by the messenger?”
Erik stepped between the two men who were now nose to nose. He said, “Drew, leave it. We must hurry. This man is not to blame.”
No, you are!
Drew snapped out of his ire induced rage and he mounted his huge destrier. Erik jumped upon his own horse’s back and headed north as the groom suggested. Bloody hell it was cold! It could freeze the piss out of a man, but luckily that worked to their advantage. A soft frost had formed on the road and the tracks of a lone rider could be seen by the pale light of the moon. They would have to use this to the best of their ability, because once the sun would begin to rise, the frost would be gone and it would be harder to track Bronwyn when that happened. Drew rode like hell’s demons were on his heels. Even Erik was hard pressed to keep up with him.