by Marie Hall
There was a growl, followed by a terse, “Pandora.” Then the hands moved off my wrists, cupped the back of my head and brought me to a supine position. Lips slammed against mine. At first I fought it and bit down, raked my nails down the cheeks. A rumble vibrated through its throat and the spill of that sound shivered down my spine.
Desire built like a coil, tightening in on itself until it strained against the pressure of wanting to snap. The madness started to roll away, slowly at first, like a ball gaining momentum down a hill. I gripped strong shoulders, bunching bloody fabric in my fingers. Frantic hands grabbed the side of my face and the kiss deepened. I moaned, opened my mouth wider and accepted the tongue that dueled with my own. I tasted blood, but it wasn’t mine.
My nipples hardened, my legs grew wet with need. Desperate for more, I raked my claws down its back until I heard a hiss. But the kiss didn’t stop. Instead it grew more feverish and frenzied.
I held onto that hard frame like a woman half dead crawling slowly out of the darkness and back to the light. I sighed, I whimpered, drowning in the glorious sensation of a man who smelled of...sandalwood.
Billy.
I jerked, as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on my face. My blood ran cold, then I pushed him off me and jumped to my feet. He was covered in blood, his face looked worse than mine the first night we’d met, but his eyes glittered with a feral light.
“What are you doing here?” I snapped, my pulse beating so fast I felt my heart might explode from the shock.
“You stabbed me,” he said, voice low and menacing, ignoring my question.
I narrowed my eyes and glanced at his chest, shocked to see my pretty shoe poking out of it. It didn’t look real, more like a movie prop. But as I thought it, I grew increasingly aware of the cold blacktop against my naked foot. Vaguely the memory of Lust stabbing him came back and with it an overriding anger.
I hated being startled, demons don’t handle it well.
I planted my aching hands on my hips, wondering what he’d done to them and glowered back. “Doesn’t feel good does it?”
He spit, and it was crimson streaked.
I smiled, emotions still zooming a mile a millisecond. “I want my shoe back.”
He snarled, grabbed the hilt and yanked it out, then threw it at my feet.
I stooped to pick it up when the metallic glint of metal caught my eye. It was a chain with a silver medallion. I scooped it and my shoe up, wrapped the necklace around my wrist and studied the blood soaked heel. I wiped it off, then noticed it’d snapped in half, the other piece of it probably still inside him.
“Serves you right. I hope it punctured a lung,” I muttered. First my boots, which I still hadn’t found, and now this. Mad as a polecat, I stomped toward the door. It was barred shut and without the password I had no way inside that wouldn’t compromise the mission.
My chest ached thinking about the little girl and in a moment of supreme frustration I slammed my fist into the brick wall, then ported to the woods around my trailer and screamed into the night.
Chapter 17
Early the next morning, before the sun had even begun to rise—sporting a monster headache—I put on three layers of wool socks, got dressed, poured myself a thermos of coffee, grabbed a granola bar and stuffed them into my book bag, then headed out toward the solitude of the mountain.
I wanted to think, and the unspoiled beauty of nature always helped ground me. I took a path I hadn’t used before, wanting to explore and exert myself.
The day was blistery cold, the smell of snow hung heavy in the air. Stinging slaps of wind buffeted my cheeks; I brushed the hair out of my face and walked.
I hiked with no destination in mind other than to get as far away from camp as I could. I’d toyed with the idea of porting to Rome or the Valley of the Kings in Egypt, my two favorite spots in the world, but it would take too long and I had to call Grace, and hopefully make it to the library at some point today.
I slipped on a loose sheet of gravel and had to latch onto the branch of a pine tree poking up out of a large gray slab of stone.
Curling my lip, I wiped the sticky sap off on my pant leg then turned to study the layout of my surroundings. Several clicks to my right perched a rocky outcropping of large, smooth boulders. An ideal place to sit, drink and think. I moved. If I was lucky I might even get there in time to watch the sun rise.
Tightening my hold on my book bag, I jogged. Reveling in the wild thrill of muscles bunching and gathering, the wind rushing through my ears, my heart beating steadily in my chest and the scent of grass and damp earth all around me. Moments like these helped remind me why living was worth it.
Finally I found the perfect spot. I stopped, threw my bag atop the ten foot boulder—it landed with a heavy thud—and I jumped up, landing with the grace like reflex of a cat. Ten feet is about my jumping limit.
Stretching my arms high above my head, I smiled, sucking in air and looked out at the black silhouette of trees and outcroppings on the cusp of dawn.
Vivid streaks of purple and orange slashed through the blue canopy of night. Gray wispy clouds rolled lazily by, bringing with them the promise of snow I’d smelled. Aside from the constant sound of wind, the world was silent. No birds, no bugs, no animals. Only me and the dawn.
Tension drained from my body, leaving me exhausted, but more alert than being confined in my home with nothing but books and music to keep me company. I sat down, pulled my thermos and granola out and ate.
No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about the little girl. What’d happened to her? Why had Billy stopped me from going inside and rescuing her? Was he part of this? Was that why he hadn’t killed me yet? Because his plan was bigger than me?
And speaking of Billy, my stomach dived, how had his kiss broken me from going feral? Not even Luc could drive the demon out of me with a simple kiss.
Butterflies crowded my insides. To call the kiss simple was wrong. It had been heart pounding and primal. I wanted him with a ferocity that was frankly, terrifying.
Something cold and wet touched the tip of my nose. I looked up and saw the first flakes of snow. I held out my hand, watching as one landed and then melted on my palm. Was it really true that each flake was different? Each as unique as a fingerprint?
I don’t know why, but the thought comforted me. If someone went out of their way to take such a simple thing as a snowflake and make it the only one of its kind, then maybe I mattered too.
I sighed, took a final sip of coffee, polished off the bar and then set the thermos and wrapper aside.
The stone I sat on was colder than steel in the morning, but the wool socks were doing the trick, I felt fine. Invigorated even. Maybe I’d start sleeping outdoors for a while.
I laid down, crossed my arms behind my head and closed my eyes. Snow kissed my skin. Imagining that this peaceful moment, and not the death threats, not the craziness of vamps and neph’s and conspiracies, was my life.
I don’t know how long I laid like that, I think I may have even snoozed off for a second, when I heard a twig snap and a gentle voice whisper, “Pandora.”
I opened my eyes, to find Luc sitting next to me, blond hair whipping in the strong breeze. Blue eyes filled with worry. He traced my cheek with his finger, beautiful full lips pulled down in a tight frown. He’d obviously been following me. Made me wonder how long, since last night, this morning?
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
I let him touch me for a second, enjoying the feel of that gentle caress more than I should. I leaned into his hand wishing we could go back to a time when things hadn’t become so complicated. My heart twisted. But no one can turn back the hands of time.
I sat up, grabbed a barrette out of my pocket, caught my hair into a makeshift ponytail and then pulled my knees to my chest before I answered him.
“I went to the club last night,” I said, resting my chin on my knees.
Luc sat back on his booted heels,
looking like he wanted to say more, finally he sighed. “Yeah? And?”
I shook my head. “It’s a façade.”
He frowned. “What? Weren’t there vamps there?”
“Yes. Like a swarm of ants all over the place. But they weren’t doing anything aside from drinking a little blood and partying it up.” I shrugged. “Whatever’s going on, whatever the order thinks might be happening, isn’t going down there. I searched, there was nothing.”
He rubbed his stubbled jaw. “That doesn’t make sense. The order has never screwed up before.”
I twisted my lips, the frustration that had gnawed away at me all night coming sharply back into focus. “I know. But I did see something else.” A picture of the tall man formed in my mind and I shuddered, creeped out as much now as I’d been then.
“What?” he asked, snapping me from my thoughts.
I threw my hands up and growled. “A man walking down the street with a kid. It’s a gut feeling, Luc, but it just felt wrong. What was a man doing with a child at that time of night in that part of town?”
He ground his jaw. “Child molester?”
I wish I could say I detected anger, or even shock in his voice, but I didn’t. There was curiosity and nothing more. And had I not seen that little girl with my own two eyes, I probably would feel like him. When you’re as old as us, nothing shocks us much. We’ve seen it all. A million times and then some. Evil exists. Sad, but true.
“Yeah, maybe.” I shrugged, stomach churning with bitter anger at Billy. “I thought of that too, but I think it might be more than that. He dragged the kid to the back of the club, did some knock and then walked inside. I’m thinking that’s the secret of Sanguinary, not the club itself, but what’s behind it.”
He snarled. “So what, you think the vamps are peddling kids?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, the pain in my skull beginning to hammer away at my sinuses. “I heard one of the guys say something like Mo and Sac.” I grimaced, and clamped my jaw tight. “I don’t have the first freaking clue.”
“So is that it?” He shook his head. “You didn’t see anything else? Another neph maybe, what about that?”
“No.”
He sighed. “But just because you didn’t see one doesn’t mean it wasn’t there,” he said, mimicking what Grace would say.
I rubbed my forehead. “Where was Vyxyn last night?”
“Here.” His mouth thinned.
“All night?”
“Yeah.” He took a deep breath. “I told Bubba to keep an eye on her, report back to me if he saw her leave her post for anything other than her break. I personally kept an eye out on the rest of the family. We were all here, all night. None of us,” he stressed, “left.”
I frowned. “You didn’t tell Bubba anything, did you?”
Luc gave me a drool expression. “Give me some credit here, Pandora. Besides, don’t just assume it’s her. I know she’s the obvious—”
Now it was my turn to return his stare. “I’m not stupid. I know that. But something’s not right about Vyx. I’ve told you that for years, it would be incredibly stupid of me to overlook her just because she so obviously fits the bill.”
“I think you’re head hunting. I think your bias toward Vyx is screwing with your ability to see anything outside of her,” he snapped. “Grace only said she thought one of us might be responsible, not that we were.”
I gritted my teeth. “I’m not even going to justify that stupidity with an answer. If you don’t know me by now, Luc, than you never will.”
He crossed his arms, a long, bitter silence stretched between us.
I rubbed my cheek. I didn’t want to fight with him. Not today. Seemed like it was all we did anymore. “I’m going back.”
“When?”
“Tonight.” His jaw worked from side to side, I could tell he didn’t like it, didn’t want me going out alone again.
I licked my lips and said very softly, “It might be nice if you came with me this time.”
He turned his face to the side, wouldn’t look at me, wouldn’t let me see the truth in his eyes. “No.” The word was low, harsh.
My gut knotted up and I knew why. I knew this man better than I knew myself. This rejection had nothing to do with keeping up appearances—pretending we weren’t looking for a potential rogue inside the family—and everything to do with our past.
“Why?” Anger mixed with hurt. “You can’t or you won’t, Luc, which is it?”
He glared at me, eyes growing darker. “You know why I won’t.”
“No, I don’t,” I snapped, “why don’t you enlighten me?” Luc had no problem sharing my body, touching me, talking to me, using me, so long as our interactions only ever stayed within carnival confines.
“Pandora—”
“No.” I held up my hand to silence him. “Forget I asked. I don’t know what I was thinking. Of course you won’t join me, you never do. Why should Luc ever have to put his body on the line when he’s got Pandora to do the dirty work?” I trembled with rage.
He shot to his feet. “That’s not fair and you know it.”
“No!” I jumped up. “Well what else am I supposed to think when you know very well I can’t take anyone else with me out there? I’m knee deep and you don’t seem to give a crap.”
He pounced on me, grabbed my arms and shook. “Don’t you ever say that.”
“Why not? It’s true.”
His nostrils flared. “Never speak those words to me again, Pandora.”
I curled my lip and shoved him back; we stared at each other for several tense seconds, the air charged with angry, unspoken words.
Finally I said, “You know what, forget I ever asked.”
I snatched up my belongings and ported, not wanting to be near him another second. But he grabbed a hold of my hand before I’d faded completely, his molecules wrapped around mine and I wound up dragging him with me.
I materialized back in my trailer, threw my items to the ground then whirled on him and screamed. “Just leave me the hell alone. I don’t want to talk about it, this, or you, anymore. Just go away!”
“No.” He stomped after me, grabbing my elbow as I walked through my bedroom door and jerked me back around. “I’m not gonna go away. I think it’s time we talked this out.”
“Why? So you can yet again be an unfeeling, unemotional bastard?” I rolled my eyes. “No thanks.” I slapped his hand off, then threw myself down on the bed face first and squeezed my eyes shut, hoping he’d take the hint and leave me alone. Porting wouldn’t do, he’d follow me again, so I waited, but Luc rarely does what I want him to.
“What’s this?” he asked, holding the ring in his hand as he studied it.
I almost groaned, I should have hidden it. I sat to my knees and snatched it out of his hand. Opening my nightstand drawer, I threw it inside, then slammed it shut. “Nothing.”
“That didn’t look like nothing. What was that thing, Pandora?”
I refused to answer him. I owed him nothing.
“What. Was. It?” He dropped onto the bed and with each word crawled toward me, forcing me to back up until I was pressed against the headboard and couldn’t move anymore.
I rubbed the bridge of my nose. So much for a peaceful morning. What was happening between us? Granted, things had never been cozy and perfect, but this was ridiculous.
“Grace gave it to me, okay,” I huffed, trying in my own way to extend an olive branch. I didn’t want to fight with Luc, contrary to the events of the past few days. Hell, I preferred being ignored over this any day of the week.
“Is it a weapon?”
Most people would have assumed it was little more than a harmless bauble. Of course Luc wasn’t most people. Sometimes I hated his intuition.
“Yes,” I hissed, not liking where this topic would eventually lead.
“Then why aren’t you wearing it?”
I squeezed my lips shut, anger beginning to rear its ugly head.
; “Have you gotten it through your thick skull yet, or are you just stupid? That man, Billy,” he sneered, “is out to kill you. He doesn’t want to bang you, he doesn’t want to buy you roses and whisper sweet nothings to you. He wants to rip your head off and stick it on a pike.” You could have heard a pin drop in the ensuing silence. Every word like a stab through my heart, until I no longer burned with anger, my blood froze with it. “How dare you?”
He gave me a cruel smile of fangs and teeth. “I dare much, especially when it involves something of mine.”
“Get off your bloody high horse,” I snapped, “you had your chance and burned that bridge a long time ago. I’m not yours.” I yanked my shirt up, exposing my scar as if it were a weapon. “I may bear your mark, but it doesn’t make me yours.”
He touched the scar with trembling fingers, anguish written in his gaze for a split second, then it turned hot with rage. “You gonna lord this over me forever?”
“Ha!” I laughed, and the sound of it was wild. “Lord it over you. That’s rich. You nearly killed me,” I screamed. “What did I ever do to you except love you?” I took in a stuttery breath, pulling my shirt down and moving away from him. “Why do you do this to me? Why?” My words trembled, my heart ached.
There was a lengthy pause. “You know why.”
I looked away, hating my weakness. “You should have let me go,” I whispered, swallowing hard. “You should have let me die.”
He gave me a disgusted snarl. “Are you ever gonna let it go? Give me your trust back?”
I laughed bitterly. “Trust...that died in me a long time ago.” I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I didn’t want to expose myself to him like this ever again.
Even now, even after all this time Luc still couldn’t be honest with me. He spoke in riddles, in complex circles, expecting me to figure everything out. Well, sometimes a woman didn’t want to guess. Sometimes what she needed was to hear those words spoken out loud. I was tired of fighting, of pretending I didn’t feel things when I felt too much.
He always warned me, keep your thoughts in check, hide your emotions. Fine, I got that. But what I could never understand and would never understand was why, even in the privacy of my home, he couldn’t for once, admit he felt things other than anger or hatred? It didn’t make you weak, it made you human. And maybe that was the true great divide between us.