by Mari Carr
She started to rise. “I have to go.”
“Sit down.”
Dani froze, unable to move. Finally her legs made the decision for her as they gave way and she fell back to the chair heavily.
“I’m going to play the game in here, do what I have to do. And when time is up, I’m getting out, and you and I are going to finish what we started. You won’t get away from me again. Understand?”
She didn’t reply, nor did she try to leave. Fear permeated every crevice, every pore in her body, until she felt as if she were drowning in it, the emotion holding her in place.
“Answer me, girl.”
“I understand.” Her voice sounded wooden, well-rehearsed. She knew how to respond in such a way that would provoke no further anger. It was a skill she’d had to learn to survive, especially in the last five or six years as her father’s alcoholism had destroyed every bit of humanity he possessed.
Once upon a time, when she’d been a foolish little girl, there had been several brief moments of hope when her dad would do something that made her think things would get better, that they could be a normal family. He’d taken her to McDonald’s for her seventh birthday and gotten her a Happy Meal and a hot fudge sundae. Once, when she had the flu back in second grade, he’d sat beside her bed and sung her a silly little song that made her laugh.
But those small kindnesses had been few and far between. She was older and wiser now. All her childish dreams had been reduced to ashes, leaving her alone and helpless, captive to a cruel man.
“No one will keep you from me. Not that fucking neighbor or social services. Not the foster family they’ve got you with or the law. Nobody. You’re mine. And you always will be.”
***
She’d never told anyone about that conversation. Not the social worker, the police, nor even Mama Lewis. She had been too embarrassed, too ashamed, too frightened. Looking back, she knew those had been the wrong emotions. The fifteen-year-old girl was now a twenty-nine-year-old woman who understood what she should have felt was anger.
Her father had always been a drunken asshole. She couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t tipped the bottle up until it was empty, then started slinging the insults and fists, smacking her and her mom around. When her mother passed away, Dani had only been twelve, and she remembered standing at the funeral thinking, this is it. I’m on my own.
And for three years, she had been. She’d thrown herself into her schoolwork and joined every damn club the school system offered. She volunteered anywhere and everywhere someone would let her because it kept her out of the house and away from him.
Her dad didn’t seem to mind—or maybe he hadn’t noticed—her absence. When she was home, she shut herself in her room, putting on her headphones, losing herself in music while living a very silent life.
Occasionally she’d slip up and put herself in the path of her father when he was wasted. He’d yell or hit and she’d work harder to find new ways to disappear.
By the time she turned fifteen, she’d already started the countdown, living for the day when she was eighteen and could get the hell out.
Unfortunately, hormones had kicked in. She’d gotten boobs and for the first time in her life, her father started to actually see her. In a way that made her skin crawl.
Dani forced herself to focus on the road, to blink back the tears forming as she recalled the night he’d broken into her room and crawled into bed with her.
***
She wasn’t sure what had woken her up, but as soon as she opened her eyes, she realized she wasn’t in bed alone. The strong smell of whiskey told her exactly who was with her.
“Wake up,” he demanded.
She stiffened when he shook her roughly.
“Wake up, you little bitch. It’s time you started earning your keep around here.”
He was drunker than she’d seen him in a very long time. His words were slurred, his dark eyes struggling to find her face.
“I can get a job. Earn money.” She prayed to God that was what he meant, though her heart knew it was something else when his hands drifted to her breasts, squeezing them painfully.
She twisted away, but despite his drunkenness, he was stronger than she was.
“I don’t want fucking money from you.”
Dani tried to push him away when he shoved his hand into her panties.
“No!” she cried out. “Please.”
“Shut up. You’re gonna like this, Dani.”
His rough fingers were thick, callused and cold. She wrapped her hand around his wrist, trying to pull him away. Her touch was ineffective as he burrowed deeper between her legs, touching her where she’d never been touched before.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
Why would he do this?
She had never fought her father. Not with words or with fists. Not once.
Dani considered that, feeling slightly shocked by the fact.
Why hadn’t she?
Something inside her snapped. His fingers breached the opening to her body, the touch agonizing. It felt as though he was ripping her in two.
Reaching out blindly toward her nightstand, she wrapped her hand around the base of the lamp. She lost her grip as pain ripped through her when he pushed three fingers deep inside her.
She screamed.
“Goddamn. Dry bitch. I’ll take care of that. Gonna shove my cock in that tight little hole.” He pulled his fingers out and chuckled malevolently when he saw blood on them. “Virgin.”
His tone was one of approval, one Dani had never heard him use when talking to her. God, how fucked-up was this? She had to get out of here. Now.
He reached for the fastening on his pants, his clumsy fingers fumbling with the zipper.
She took advantage of his distraction. Lifting the lamp, she brought it down on his head, hard. It was wrought iron and made a loud crack when it connected with his skull.
He grunted and fell back on the bed. She spotted the blood dripping along his scalp, staining her pillow, and for a brief second, Dani wondered if she’d killed him.
Then, he groggily raised his hand to his head. She’d only knocked him out for a second. “What the fu—”
That was all Dani heard as she jumped out of bed and ran from her room. She managed to get out of the apartment, beating on the neighbor’s door, begging Ms. Stern to let her in.
Mercifully, the woman did. Dani raced into the apartment, slamming the door closed behind her. Ms. Stern threw the deadbolt and the chain seconds before they heard her dad come out into the hall.
Ms. Stern called 911 as Dad beat on the door, demanding that Dani come out. Dani leaned against the door, praying the locks would hold as he rained a steady stream of insults at her, calling her a slut, a whore, a cock tease.
She didn’t realize she was crying until Ms. Stern wiped her eyes with trembling hands.
“It’s going to be okay, Dani. The police will be here soon…”
***
Dani dug into her purse for a tissue. For a moment, she considered pulling over. Driving and crying didn’t mix.
“Get it together, girl,” she muttered to herself as she fought back the tears. She blinked several times and then took a steadying breath. She was doing herself no favors with this damn trip down memory lane.
She’d spent her entire adult life recreating herself, working hard to overcome a childhood spent living in fear. She had been helpless and fearful when she was a girl and apparently some of those traits had carried over, despite her best efforts to shed them.
It had to end here. She refused to carry the label of victim for one second longer. She’d go back to New Orleans, face the bastard who’d tried to destroy her and show him he held no more power over her. Then she’d return to Nashville and embrace a very bright future with no regrets or fears, and without the shadow of Russell Patton casting her in never-ending darkness.
Dani Patton had died the night her father crawled into her bed. And Da
ni Lewis had emerged from the ashes. It was time to dump the baggage.
She made the exit that took her to the next interstate, the last stretch of her trip before she hit Louisiana.
She recalled the last time she’d been on this road so late and grinned. Mercifully, not all of her memories were bad.
Dani had snuck out of the Lewises’ house after learning her father had been released from prison. He’d cut his two-year sentence down by a month due to good behavior. Dani had been counting on that extra month because it put her that much closer to her eighteenth birthday.
Mama Lewis had cried when she’d told Dani the court was sending her back to him, but legally, her beloved foster mother’s hands had been tied. She had to abide by the rules of the system.
Despite that, Dani had suspected Mama Lewis was preparing to fight the ruling. Dani couldn’t let her do it. After all, Mama had taken in two other foster kids, the sweetest little boys on the planet, Zac and Noah. She wouldn’t allow Mama Lewis to do anything that might get her in trouble and impact their placement. They’d only been there a few months and had only just begun to feel safe. How could Dani take that security away from them?
So…she ran. Somehow she’d managed to survive on her own for three weeks. When Dani looked back on that time, it all seemed like one giant blur. She had been a homeless runaway with less than a hundred dollars in her pocket and no idea where she was going.
During those few weeks, she had succeeded in putting some serious distance between her and her father. She didn’t have a clue how far she’d walked when she had stumbled into an all-night diner just off the highway one night.
***
Dani was running on empty, sleeping sporadically and for short periods at a time. She’d eaten the last of the peanut butter and crackers and other food she’d taken from Mama Lewis’ house two days earlier. Since then, she’d only had some fruit she had stolen from an orchard. Her stomach ached with emptiness.
She was dirty and tired and she needed somewhere warm to sit down for a little while. She’d only been in the diner a few minutes before she found herself regretting the decision to stop. The waitress was eyeing her suspiciously.
The last thing Dani needed was for the woman to call the cops, so she painted on a friendly smile as she sat down and perused the menu. She quickly scanned the list, looking for the cheapest thing. She didn’t dare dip too deeply into her money. There was hardly any in her pocket as it was. As she ordered an egg and toast, her stomach growled loudly.
An older woman turned around in the booth next to hers. Dani was actually surprised when she saw the face. She’d thought it had been a man sitting there at first.
“Is that your stomach making that god-awful racket?” the woman asked, her voice gravelly and deep. Dani pegged her for a two-pack-a-day gal.
Dani nodded and glanced toward the door. She’d been stupid to come out in public. For three weeks, she had avoided main roads and public places, staying hidden as much as possible.
“Egg and toast ain’t gonna help that.”
To Dani’s surprise, the woman rose from her seat, picked up her cup of coffee and shifted over to Dani’s booth.
“You alone?” she asked, even as she plopped down across from Dani.
Again, Dani nodded, not sure what to do. She was too tired and hungry and her voice was rusty from lack of use.
The woman chuckled, the sound morphing into a light cough at the end. “Don’t talk much, do you? I’m Stella.”
She stuck out her hand, so Dani shook it. “Dani.”
“Well, Dani. I’m at the end of a cross-country run.” Stella pointed her thumb out the window, directing Dani’s attention to the tractor-trailer parked outside. “Had only myself for company for weeks. You mind if I join you?”
Dani shook her head, afraid to kick up a fuss about anything in case it caused a scene. Stella reminded her quite a lot of Mama Lewis. Thinking of the dear woman sent a pang of homesickness through her.
Not that it mattered. The judge had believed her father when he said he’d climbed on the wagon, that alcohol had been his downfall, and he had kicked that demon out and seen the error of his ways. He swore he’d been a good and loving father before his wife’s death sent him to the bottle. And because he’d had no previous arrests or complaints prior to the night he’d tried to rape her, the judge had decided she’d be better off with the sexual molester rather than the loving woman who’d treated her like a beloved daughter. God bless the court system.
Stella raised her hand to call the waitress back. “You drink coffee?”
“I’ve never tried it.”
Stella’s eyebrows rose. “Really? Well, maybe I shouldn’t be the one to start you down that path. Shit is addictive.” She looked at the waitress as she pointed to her coffee cup. “I’d like a top-up on the high octane. And get my friend here a Coke. Oh, and add a cheeseburger and fries to that order of hers. You eat meat, right?”
Again Dani nodded, mentally calculating how much money this meal would cost her. “Yes, but—”
Stella winked. “My treat.”
Tears sprung to Dani’s eyes as the waitress turned back to the kitchen. Mercifully, she didn’t see them, but Stella did. She reached across the table and squeezed Dani’s hand. “Steady, girl. It’s just a burger.”
Dani laughed and sniffled. “Thank you.”
Stella pointed to the guitar by Dani’s seat “You play?”
Grateful for the distraction, Dani shrugged lightly. “A little. I love music.”
Actually, she’d played the instrument nonstop since Mama Lewis had given it to her for Christmas the year before last. After so many years spent listening to music as a form of escape, it had felt amazing to Dani to be able to sing out loud. Mama Lewis told her she had the voice of an angel. A compliment she wondered if the kind woman regretted, since it had encouraged Dani to sing even more.
Stella gave her an approving look. “I live in Nashville. That’s where I’m heading now. Lots of musicians there. Pretty sure I’m the only person in the city who can’t carry a tune in a bucket. Figure the only reason they let me stay there is because I’m out of town more than I’m in it.”
Dani found herself envious of Stella’s life, her freedom to come and go as she pleased. “You must’ve seen a lot of the country.” This past month was the first time Dani had ever stepped foot out of New Orleans. Her world had been so small for so long.
Stella shrugged. “Seen about as much as you can see from a highway. Don’t get many chances to stop and play tourist. Even so, I’ve seen some pretty cool stuff.”
The waitress brought their food and Dani let Stella carry the conversation as she dug into the first real meal she’d had in weeks. Twice, Stella placed her hand over Dani’s to encourage her to slow down so she wouldn’t get sick.
As they ate, Stella told her about some of the places she’d seen, and then had her cracking up as she told funny stories about other truckers she’d met on the road. Stella was a born storyteller.
Once the waitress had cleared their plates and Stella paid the bill, the conversation winded down. “Where you headed?” Stella asked.
Dani clenched her hands in her lap, hoping Stella wouldn’t notice her nervousness. They’d been having so much fun, Dani had almost forgotten about her predicament.
“Um…” She searched for an answer, but the abundance of food had only intensified how exhausted she was. It was all Dani could do not to curl up in a ball on the floor and fall asleep.
“You got anywhere to be, Dani?”
Dani shook her head. She’d probably pay dearly for that honesty, but she could read the concern in Stella’s eyes.
Stella didn’t talk for a long time. Instead, she simply studied Dani’s face. If eyes could plead, Dani’s were begging.
Please don’t call the cops.
Please don’t ask me any questions.
Please don’t make me go back.
Finally, Stella said, “Seems
like a girl with a guitar belongs in Nashville. Want a ride?”
***
Dani wiped away another tear as she recalled that night. Stella had given her so much more than a ride. She’d opened her home to Dani, helped her find a job and, when Dani really thought about it, Stella had probably saved her life. She wasn’t sure how long she would have survived living on the street before something bad happened. When she looked back now, Dani was shocked she’d made it three weeks on her own.
Stella had been right. Dani did belong in Nashville. The city gave her new hope, inspired her, helped her find her voice. She’d needed a fresh start and Music City had given it to her.
Now she was standing at another crossroads, very much like she had been the night she met Stella. If she could make it through the next week, she might have a fighting chance at a real future. One with no roadblocks in her path or cinderblocks weighing her down.
All she had to do was stand up to the devil.
Chapter Two
“Oh, hell no. Are you kidding me?” Dani picked up her guitar, grabbed the handle to drag her rolling suitcase, and made it one whole step away when Aiden followed out of the room and caught her arm and stopped her.
“Wait. Dammit, Dani. Just hold on.”
“What are you doing here, Aiden? Why are you in my room?” Then, because she knew he’d be there, she glanced over Aiden’s shoulder. Sure enough, Bryson was leaning against a nearby wall. He looked casual and relaxed, but she didn’t doubt for a minute he’d chase her down if she got away from Aiden.
“Bryson,” she said in cold acknowledgement. The bastard had the temerity to grin and wink.
She took three steps into the room, ready to coldcock the fucker before she realized her mistake. The door closed behind her.
Dani spun angrily. “Open the door or I’m screaming.”
Aiden leaned against it and crossed his arms. “Go ahead. We’re in the penthouse suite. There’s no one else on this floor.”
She’d spent the entire night on the road, memory after memory bombarding her. Now she was worn out and on edge. Her nerves were tattered and her emotions riding way to close to the surface. Finding Bryson and Aiden in New Orleans was the last thing she needed. “I don’t want you here.”