She watched him stroll out the door, still having a hard time believing that Jedediah Nelson, her best friend and champion, was now her husband. Truth be known, aside from feeling completely unsuited for her new role as a preacher’s wife, she worried about protecting her heart. She’d liked Jed a whole lot all her life, and probably loved him as a friend. But now it would be ever so easy to fall in love with him in such a way that one day would crush her. Deep down she knew he would eventually wake up and realize she was not the wife for him. When that day happened, she didn’t want to watch him walk away while she held her broken heart in her hands.
* * *
Jed whistled a tune while his boots tapped a rhythm on the boardwalk as he headed to his parents’ house. Everything felt right. He finally convinced Mindy to marry him, and he had his first church assignment. He pushed aside the niggling doubt that preaching was not what he really wanted to do. It was expected. He would succeed at it, and make his papa proud.
He was anxious to begin his work and his marriage. To be honest, he was a little concerned about how well Mindy would fit into her new role as a preacher’s wife.
She certainly had the compassion and friendly demeanor to work well alongside him. Due to her upbringing, no doubt she would need some guidance in running a home, and doing all the domestic things a woman learned at her mother’s knee.
Her mother. Ha!
Never had he disliked a person as much as Mindy’s ma. Lizzie O’Brien was a hard, brittle woman. She had absolutely no mothering instincts and never cared to develop any. He’d watched Mindy grow up with very little love and no affection. She’d been neglected, forgotten, and pushed aside. The other whores in the house were more mother to her than the woman who’d given her life. And that was about all Lizzie had given her daughter.
He intended to make it all up to her. He would smother her in love and show her every day that she was a worthwhile person, capable of running a home and helping him in his work. Never would she go without proper clothes, or a decent meal. She deserved the best, and he intended to make sure she got it.
“You’re looking chipper this morning, son.” Jed entered his parents’ kitchen to Pastor Nelson’s greeting as he sat at the table drinking his coffee. Once again Jed was grateful for the parents who raised him, and the rules and guidance they’d provided his entire life. Re-settlers from Boston, Pastor Nelson and his wife had traveled west to bring the word of God to Indians. They’d gotten as far as Dodge City and decided the early settlement was in need of their work. His papa and mama had worked hard to build a strong church, and a church community. They’d raised four sons, Caleb, Micah, David and Jedediah. Caleb and David had made their homes in Nebraska and Texas with their wives and children, establishing churches to serve their communities.
Micah had remained in Dodge City and worked with his parents. Eventually, Pastor Nelson would pass his life’s work onto his son, and take a well-deserved rest.
“Yes, I am feeling chipper. I’m about to start an adventure I’ve been working toward and praying on, for years now.” Jed joined his papa at the table and thanked his mama for the coffee she set in front of him.
“And we are very proud of you, son. At last all four of our boys are doing the Lord’s work.” Papa beamed at him, causing a slight ripple of guilt in Jed’s stomach.
“Where is your bride this morning?” Mrs. Nelson sat across from Jed and snapped beans, most likely for the family’s dinner at noon. Her hands were never still. She always had something to occupy her time and fingers.
“She went off to see her ma.”
Mrs. Nelson’s lips tightened, and she began to snap the beans with a lot more force than the poor vegetable deserved. “That woman. She had absolutely no right to raise that lovely girl in a brothel!” She sniffed. “It’s a wonder Mindy turned out as well as she did.”
“Mama, I want to thank you,” he turned to his papa, “both of you, for how you treated Mindy all the years. I know you both received snide remarks about how you allowed her here for visits.”
“Son, the work of the Lord doesn’t always involve dealing with the righteous. Sometimes those who think they have the ear of the Lord are actually less deserving than those they look down upon. Remember your bible, James 2:3. The most worthy are not the ones who appear to be.”
Micah entered the kitchen from the back door. “Got the wagon ready to go to the livery and get your cattle.” He slapped Jed on the back. “Imagine, my little brother going off to the wilds of Colorado to his own church. And with his own wife!” He grinned and leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed. “You about ready to get this wagon fit to travel, little brother?”
Jed drank the last of the coffee and stood. “I am. According to the marshal I need to get this wagon out to Fort Dodge by today if I plan to join the wagon train.”
“Papa, are you coming with us?” Jed wanted to know.
“Yep. There’s a few bits of advice I haven’t finished giving you yet. Now, you wouldn’t want to miss out on that would you?” The three men headed to the back door. Once his papa and Micah left, Jed turned back to his mama.
“Will you help Mindy when she comes by to get the things you’re setting us up with?”
She stood and pulled him in for a fierce hug. “I sure will. I like that gal, and I know she will be a good wife to you.” She leaned back and placed her hands on his forearms. “Just give her time, Jedediah. She will need a lot of help.
“And love.”
“That’s no problem. I’ve loved Mindy all my life.”
* * *
“Ma?” Mindy tapped lightly on her mother’s door. When she didn’t receive an answer, she pushed the door open. Her ma laid sprawled on the bed, the sheets twisted around her legs. “Ma?”
Lizzie stirred and rolled over, opening one eye. “Is that you, Cinnamon?”
Don’t call me Cinnamon
“Yeah, Ma. I want to talk to you.” She walked closer to the bed.
“Now? Girl, do you know what time it is? I just got into bed.” She rolled back over on her stomach. “Go away. Talk to me later.”
“I can’t, Ma. This is important and I need to talk to you now.”
A loud sigh was Ma’s only response. Then she turned back over and narrowed her eyes at her. “I heard you got your ass thrown in jail for practically killing the mayor. What the hell you doing here?”
“I did get arrested, and that’s what I want to talk to you about.” She sat on the end of the bed, the smell of stale cigars and whiskey floating up from the sheets.
“You ain’t gonna leave me be, are you?” Lizzie pushed herself up until she leaned against the wall behind her bed. She fumbled on the table next to her and pulled a cigar from a box and struck a match to light it. Mindy waved as the smoke drifted over her.
“Ma, I don’t know why you smoke those things.”
“Ain’t none of your business, girl. Now tell me why I should be sitting here listening to you instead of getting my well-deserved sleep. You mighta been laying around the jail, but I worked all night.”
“Actually, no, Ma. I wasn’t at the jail last night.” She held up her left hand. “I got married.”
Lizzie’s lips twitched. “Hell, no. Don’t tell me you got married. Did you hitch up with one of them cowboys coming through town yesterday? I always knew you wouldn’t be spreadin’ for anyone unless you got a ring on your finger.”
Mindy shook her head, cringing at the thought of the cowboys who passed through Dodge City. “No, Ma. I didn’t marry up with no smelly cowboy.”
Her mama narrowed her eyes as the cigar smoke circled her head. “You didn’t go and get yourself married to that preacher boy, did you?”
Mindy drew herself up, and raised her chin. “Yes. I married Jedediah Nelson yesterday, and we’re leaving tomorrow to join a wagon train headed to Trinidad, Colorado to a church there.”
Shaking her head, her mama said. “You are one stupid girl, you know that? What makes
you think you’re good enough for some preacher?”
“I am good enough, Ma.” Mindy twisted the edge of the pillow slip. “Jed said so.”
Lizzie huffed. “Then he’s stupider than you are. You’re no more fit to be a preacher’s wife than I am to be a gunslinger.” She squashed the end of her cigar in a cracked china plate, and pointed her finger at her daughter. “Let me tell you something. I know you always looked down your nose at me. You think you’re some high and mighty lady. Well, you know what? You ain’t, and you’re no better than me. You were born right here in this here room, and you slept right there on the floor at my feet for nigh on fourteen years.”
She leaned forward, the lines in her face more noticeable with the sunlight streaming through the window. Ma looked old, worn out. Tired. Used up. Everything Mindy had sworn all her life she would never be.
“I think you’re wrong, Ma. I’m not saying I’m better than you, but I am willing to try to make myself better. I want a normal life. I want a husband, and a home, and even children one day.” She fought the tears that threatened to fall. She would not cry in front of this woman. She would save her tears for when she was alone.
“Squalling brats. What the hell do you want with them? Always asking for things, whining about being hungry, and cold. Nothing but trouble.”
“Is that what I am to you, Ma? Nothing but trouble?” Mindy held her breath, not believing she’d asked the question that had bothered her all her life.
“Well I sure as hell didn’t want you. That was before I knew enough how to keep myself from getting pregnant.”
Despite the years of neglect, deep down inside Mindy always thought, or at least hoped, that her ma had some feelings for her. But that small kernel of a childish dream vanished like the smoke from Mama’s cigar.
I sure as hell didn’t want you
What she didn’t understand was why it hurt. At this point, it should have made no difference. But, unfortunately, it did.
Mindy stood, knowing there was nothing here for her. But her new life with the man she’d admired all her life, awaited her. Ma was wrong. She would have a better life with a husband, a nice home and possibly children one day. Children she wanted, and would love and take care of.
“Well, I guess I’ll go now.” She turned and walked toward the door, then holding onto the door knob, she looked back at the woman who had given birth to her. “One thing I always wondered, Ma.”
“What?” She’d lit the cigar again, and blew a ring of smoke.
“Why did you name me Cinnamon?”
Lizzie shrugged. “I needed a name. Couldn’t very well call you ‘girl.’ So after you were a couple of weeks old, and everyone kept bugging me for a name, I looked at the kitchen table where I was trying to feed you and saw a container of cinnamon. Someone was making pastries.”
Mindy swallowed the bile that rose up the back of her throat. “And that’s where you got my name?”
“It’s a name as good as any.”
She gave a soft chuckle and shook her head. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s as good a name as any. Goodbye, Ma. I really do wish you well.”
“Yeah, well, you take care of yourself, girl. Tell that Jed boy if he gives you a beating, I’ll send someone down there to beat him, too.”
Mindy closed the door and took a deep breath. Maybe her ma did care about her, after all.
5
After having reported to the Board that he was now a married man, the next morning, Jed took the satchel from Mindy’s hands and placed it into the wagon. “Is that everything?”
Mindy turned and surveyed the area. “Yeah, that’s all of it.”
He grinned at her, pulled her into a hug and swung her around. “Time to go, Mrs. Nelson. Start our new life.”
Hand-in-hand they walked the short path from where the wagon was parked to the back door of the Nelson home. They were headed to Fort Dodge to join the wagon train. Tomorrow morning the group would leave, headed to Santa Fe. Some would get off at various stop-offs, others would continue on to the end of the trail.
“Oh, dear, is it time to leave already?” His mama dabbed her eyes with the corner of her apron.
“Yes, we need to head out. I want to make sure we get settled with the wagon train. I’m not sure what we need to do to join the group, so I want to have a lot of time.” Jed pulled his mother in for a hug. “We’ll be fine.”
She patted his back. “I know you will, son.” She reached out, and drew Mindy into their circle. “Take good care of each other.” She kissed both of them on the cheek, and they left. They’d already said their goodbyes to Micah and his papa, earlier. They had church duties they needed to get started on.
Jed helped Mindy onto the wagon seat, then walked around and climbed up alongside her. With a grin in her direction, and a flick of his wrist, the animals moved forward, and they were on their way.
After she’d returned from the visit with her ma the day before, Mindy had been in poor spirits. It took some doing, but he finally got her to relate their conversation, and if Lizzie O’Brien had been a man, he would have gone down to that brothel and tore into her. Once she’d admitted the unkind things her ma had said, it took him quite a while to calm Mindy down.
His Mindy was a puzzle. She could stand up for herself against all the cowboys and ruffians who she’d dealt with at the saloon, but her ma could dissolve her daughter into tears with a few cutting words. But then, since he’d been raised in a loving home, he probably would never completely understand his wife.
“Darlin’, I hope you’re not still thinking on what your ma said yesterday? She’s wrong, you know. You’ll do fine. We’ll both be fine.”
Mindy nodded, but her wan smile told him she didn’t believe it. Based on her comments, she still didn’t think she was worth much at all. He’d insisted on taking her shopping yesterday. They’d bought supplies for their trip and new home, but he also had her pick out a couple of ready-made dresses, a warm shawl, a bonnet, and a pair of sturdy leather gloves. After much deliberation, she allowed him to buy her a pretty pink nightgown. Not that he planned for her to make much use of it, but it had made her happy.
“I don’t need all this stuff,” she said as she viewed the pile he’d put on the counter. “It will cost too much money. I didn’t get my last night’s pay because the mayor took it for his injuries.”
God, he couldn’t wait to get her out of this town. “You’re my responsibility now, Mindy. I will pay for your clothes, food, and house. You need the bonnet to keep the sun off your head when we travel, and if you’re to be any help at all to me on the trip, you’ll need gloves. The hard work will tear up your hands.”
Now she sat alongside him, wearing one of her new dresses, with the brightly colored shawl wrapped around her shoulders. He could see only the tip of her cute little nose peeking out from the brim of the bonnet. She looked every bit the preacher’s wife, and a respectable woman.
“How long will it take to get from Fort Dodge to Trinidad?” Mindy asked as she hung onto the wooden bench while the wagon swayed over the bumpy road.
“From the information I was able to get, it looks like it will take between two and three weeks, depending on the weather and the roads.” He pulled on the reins to guide the animals away from a large hole in the road. “This route is not generally used for people looking to settle in Santa Fe. Most of the wagons on this trip will be bringing goods to Santa Fe. There’s bound to be several families, but many of the wagons will be making deliveries.”
Mindy stared out at the town as they drove away from Dodge City. He couldn’t help but think his wife was plenty happy to be leaving the place behind. She’d had very few good memories here. Hopefully, they would be making good ones in Trinidad.
They arrived at the fort right before lunch. Once they spoke with the wagon master, and pulled their wagon into the spot where they would stay until they left the next morning, Mindy began to put their lunch out. His mama had packed them sandwic
hes, a jar of lemonade, fruit and pie.
Mama had also spent time the day before giving Mindy a short course on cooking. The poor girl looked confused, but with any luck she learned enough to keep them fed.
Two little girls came racing past their spot, almost running Mindy down. An older lady chased after them, not too effectively. As they sped past, Jed grabbled them both by the backs of their dresses, bringing them both up short.
“Let me go,” the older one shouted as they both squirmed, red-faced.
The woman reached them and tried to catch her breath. “You two are the devil’s spawn. As soon as your pa gets back from town, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.” She yanked the two girls from his grip. “Now you come with me back to my wagon. I’ll tie the two of you together and strap you to my wagon wheel if you don’t stop misbehaving.”
* * *
Mindy tried hard not to smile at the antics of the girls. She was feeling better since her talk with Ma the day before. The wagon was sturdy and filled with wonderful things they would use in their new home. Mama Nelson—as she asked Mindy to call her—had packed a nice lunch for them, and even gave her things to fix supper with that would not take too much in the way of cooking skills. Which was a very good thing because Mindy knew absolutely nothing about cooking. Or cleaning. Or mending. Or laundry. Or any number of things a wife was supposed to know.
“Lunch is ready, Jed.” She felt very domestic. Very wifely. It was a good feeling, and sure beat slapping drinks on tables for men who she ducked and dodged all night long. Just then the sun broke through the clouds, and it seemed like a good omen. Everything would be fine.
“What do you mean you burned the supper? I thought Mama gave you something for tonight that was already cooked?” Jed stood across from her staring at the lump of burned stew she was trying to scrape out of the pot.
“She did. This was it.” Mindy waved at the mess. “All I had to do was heat it up, but I think the flame was too high.”
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