“If it’s the pier, will you ride all the rides with me and can we have cotton candy? Oh, and funnel cakes. I’d like one of those, please.” I’m not big enough to ride all of the rides yet, but I have to be tall enough for the Ferris wheel, and I think I am. God, please let it be the pier. I want to go there so, so bad.
“Yes, Ellie Mae, if our surprise is the pier, we’ll do whatever you want,” Mom answers, there is something funny in her voice. She sounds like she wants to laugh. I think it’s from the excitement just like mine because Mommy and I are so much alike. I’m going to be a good mommy like her when I grow up, and even though I think boys are gross and yucky, I’m going to marry a boy who loves me as much as my daddy loves my mommy. I don’t think I’ll let him kiss me on the lips though like they do. That’s even grosser than boys.
“I know it’s the pier. You’re the best parents ever. We should have asked Renita and Norah to come with us. They’re family, right Daddy?” I can’t wait to tell Renita and Norah. They won’t believe it. Norah came here lots of times before her daddy went to heaven. She hasn’t been back since. She’d come with me though because we’re the best of friends.
“Yes, they are. Today is a day for the three of us, Ellie. Sometimes it’s okay for us to get away and just be with those we love and leave our worries behind. There’s nothing more important in this world to me than you and your mom. You know that, right?”
“Yes. We’re your girls.”
My daddy works a lot, but he’s always home for dinner unless he’s out of town or out in the ocean on an oil rig. He doesn’t spend the night on them much anymore, but he’s the boss and likes to keep an eye on everything. I don’t know how he can when he only has two eyes. Grown-up talk, it’s hard to understand sometimes.
“That’s right; you will always be my girls. I will protect and love and make sure you know how much every day for the rest of my life. That’s what people do when they love someone; they protect them the best they can. I love you, sweet girl. Now take off the tie, we’re here.”
That day was one of the best days of my life with my parents, we did go to the pier, and my mother had happy tears in her eyes.
Reality slowly seeps back into my consciousness, and I struggle to smile as Logan walks toward me in a pair of shorts, a thin t-shirt, and his running shoes. His hair is a ruffled mess, his expression pained and a deep understanding of the grief we share in those green eyes as he stops in front of me, tenderly tucking a thick piece of my hair behind my ear that escaped the irritating bandage around my head.
“I woke, and you weren’t next to me. I searched the house and thought…” He stops in front of me, a frown creasing his forehead as he takes in the bruising of my face. I could hardly look at myself when I crawled out of bed. Cuts, scrapes, and purple marks are all over me.
“Thought what? That I’d leave, someone would get me? We’re safe here, right?”
“Yes, we’re safe. I’m worried about you is all. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”
“I don’t like seeing you hurting either, Logan.” Sadness sinks to the pit of my stomach as I take in the pain behind his eyes.
“I know.”
Sorrow spins around us, and I search his expression to make sure he’s okay.
He’s far from okay.
A fist grips my chest when I notice a tear. One lonely tear stuck to Logan’s eyelash. A hushed conversation transpires between the two of us — remorse and misery and pain.
“I told you I wouldn’t keep things from you. There are—”
“Don’t. Please, not today. Not now. I know there’s more behind what happened. Give us time before we have to talk about anything else except us.”
Logan clenches his eyes closed tightly, and I frame his face with my palms, pressing my lips to his.
“I know there’s nothing we can do about what happened. I want you to know I would have loved our child. I would have taken care of both of you. Protected you the way I promised. If it’s time to yourself you need, I’ll give it to you. Just promise me that you and I are okay.”
My heart stalls, the agony in Logan’s voice slicing through me.
Tears burn my eyes as I wrap my arms around his waist. My face planting into his chest. He feels so good. So comforting. I wish I could dig inside him and take this all away.
If only I knew how. If only life would let us be and the struggles would quit dropping out of the sky.
I melt into him when he starts rubbing my back in slow, lazy circles.
“We’re more than okay, Logan. I’m sorry I acted out at the club. It was wrong of me to not think about you wanting to do things for me. I think you’ve done more than enough for a while.” I glance at the house. If a storm wasn’t coming, I’d sit here all day and stare at it. “There’s not much we can say. We lost a baby; we didn’t lose each other. We’ll get through this as long as we don’t blame ourselves.” If only I could stop blaming myself.
“Ellie, this has nothing to do with our disagreement. That’s over and forgotten. I love you. As far as me doing things for you. Don’t even start.”
“I love you too.” A smile crests my lips. It’s a small one. It’s welcomed though, and it’s a start to healing.
For a minute we stand there and let the weight press in on us while the wind whips up and thunder rolls in the distance. If Logan wants to get in a run, he better leave soon.
“I know I said I didn’t want to talk about it. I also know the type of men you, Lane, and Gabe are. You all blame yourselves. I lied to the police to protect every one of us. Mostly Lexi. Please tell me those women are alive. Sadie, she wanted to frame you guys for murdering them.”
“I know you did. The women are alive. Come to find out, Sadie isn’t stable. I don’t know where she is or what’s to become of her. Honestly, I don’t care. Lane will take care of it.”
I cling to him, feeling a chunk of weight lifting off my shoulders that she’ll never get her hands on Lexi, as he tells me Sadie’s father is the governor and how he’s not a good man, but they don’t believe he knew she was after me, or that she confessed to killing Stephanie. God, what an awful mess. I’ve heard the rumors that people think he’s on the shady side, still, he has to be heartbroken over it all.
Pressing my cheek against Logan’s chest, I stare at the house.
“Are you going to be alright? Is Lane okay?”
Logan’s arms wrap around me tighter, his chin resting on my head.
“We’re all going to be okay, Ellie.”
Sometimes I wonder if those words are true, especially with what waits on the other side of this mountain, I can’t seem to take a step forward to climb.
Shadow.
“I love everything you did to this house. My mother would love the bright kitchen and my dad would love the gym you put in the basement. I never want to leave here. Before my mom became sick, we used to spend a lot of time on the beach. The minute my dad came home, we’d eat dinner and swim in the pool or the ocean. There’s so much of me here, so much I want to show you. I can’t thank you enough for this gift, Logan. It means more to me than words can express.” Lifting my head to look at him, I try to smile, but the intensity of the miscarriage hanging heavy between us weakens my trembling lips.
“You’re welcome. I wish I had more of them to give you.”
God, this man who came at me like a tornado, churning the depths of my broken life into something I never thought could be fixed never ceases to amaze me.
My tongue darts out to wet my lips, my mind filling with memories that come rushing in with the waves.
“Sometimes my dad would make breakfast and the three of us would find a spot and eat on the beach. You want to give me more of them, let me make us breakfast and sit with me until the storm gets closer. Then we can watch it from the house. There’s nothing like watching a storm on the ocean. Maybe later I can take you to their graves and you can meet them.”
His thumb brushes across my lips, and I’m pinned
in place by his rapt stare.
“Okay. You probably shouldn’t carry the food down here. Let me help?”
“I’m fine, Logan, please don’t treat me like I’m fragile. I noticed the fridge was fully stocked when I grabbed a bottle of water on my way out here. I haven’t cooked in that kitchen in a long time. You want to give me something, give me that just this once, please. We have plenty of time to cook together. Stay here and enjoy the view, I’ll be back soon.”
Logan must have called someone to let them know he was coming because the place was all lit up and the fruit was fresh.
“I called the contractor who remodeled about seeing if there was a food delivery service. His wife volunteered to grocery shop. Let me know if there’s something you need. If you’re up to it, we can stop at the store.” He slides his finger to the pulse on my neck, his eyes lighting up when it begins to race under his touch. “You’re not fragile, Ellie, you’re the strongest woman I’ve met.”
I don’t feel strong, I feel weak and lost. Being here is the best medicine to get it all back. I’m not about to admit that to Logan, he’s not going to let me out of his sight for more than the few minutes it will take to make breakfast as it is. He’d hover if he knew how lost I am.
“Okay. Fifteen minutes and then come help me.” I’ll give him that to ease his mind.
Gathering my flip-flops, I make my way toward the house, rinse my feet by the door and my heart squeezes in happiness when I enter the light green and earth tone colored kitchen. My mother would have loved this kitchen and Renita is going to go crazy when she sees it.
Smiling, I take two steps and my smile falls along with thinking the bad that had tried taking over this house would never stain it again when my eyes land on the man with his hip leaning against the refrigerator door.
Bald head, long beard, and a gun pointed in my direction.
“It’s good to be home, Ellie. I’ve missed you. By the looks of it, you need a reminder of who you belong to.”
Shadow. He found me. He’s here.
Fury ignites dangerous, deadly flames in his eyes, and I scream in alarm as he lifts the gun and pulls the trigger.
Untwist
Prologue
Logan
Pulling the velvet box out of my pocket, I flip open the lid, admiring the ring inside — a perfect ring for the perfect woman.
Out of sheer luck, something I was beginning to give up on, this ring was delivered to me a week ago. I’m not sure when I plan on giving this to Ellie, now doesn’t seem like the right time.
Emotions grip me by the throat. Damn near choking me.
I rough a palm down my face still trying to rein in what one of the few friends I have in this town stumbled upon. It doesn’t break up the ping of pain in my chest; it makes me realize that this place is where Ellie and I should have been all along.
Things would have been different. Not sure how many times I’ve told myself that. At least a dozen.
Guilt trip. Doubt if life will ever make the wheels stop and give us a minute to breathe. To settle down and live as we should be.
Peaceful and carefree.
Closing it, and squeezing my fisted palm, I watch Ellie with a heavy heart as she slowly makes her way toward the house. I can’t seem to look away.
My fingers are itching to feel her pulse, to bury my face in the smell of her wind-whipped hair. To tell her there’s going to come a day hopefully soon that everything is going to be okay. Mostly, there will come a time soon; that she’ll never have to feel an ounce of pain hitting that beautiful soul, doing its best to strike her down ever again. As fucked up as it is, as much as a man I claim to be, I can’t tell her when I don’t fully believe it myself.
“I have a surprise for you, baby. It might not take away your grief; it’ll surely plant a smile on your gorgeous face. I just need to figure out how to do you right.” The thing is, it wouldn’t matter to her how, it would be the why that did.
Although I knew Ellie and I were going to be alright, I needed to hear her say it. I needed a little peace of mind that she didn’t blame me the way I blame myself. When she looked up at me with those eyes so broken and full of trust, weeping harder than she had in my truck at the hospital, my brain hay-wired, and knots formed in my stomach. And that’s when I knew what Ellie meant about being lost. Losing our baby hurt in a way I would never be able to explain.
It leaves a person raw, achy, and rotting in despair.
Fault twists my heart, and no matter how hard I try to unbind it, the death of our child, the monsters to blame, mainly Shadow, they hang above me, threatening to swallow me whole.
Havoc.
I might not ever believe my life wasn’t supposed to be in the midst of it.
My throat goes tight as a shout builds deep and tears fill my eyes. If I weren’t afraid Ellie would turn around, I’d drop to my knees and weep.
Blowing out a breath, I dig my phone out of my pocket when the vibration hits my thigh. Pulling it out and shoving the ring in my other pocket, I smile when I see it’s Lane. Without taking my eyes off Ellie, I swipe the screen while watching her climb the steps leading into the house.
“Please tell me you’re calling with good news, Lane. Did someone plunge a shank through Shadow’s throat? How about Sadie overdosed, and they couldn’t save the crazy bitch.” Now that would be luck amongst wishful thinking.
“Where are you? Where’s Ellie?” The frantic desperation in his voice stalls my breath. It lifts the hairs on my arms, and I swallow.
Awareness.
It has me scanning the beach.
“Jesus, Lane, you’re scaring the hell out of me. I’m on the beach; she’s about to walk into the house, why?” As if I’m directed by the primal need to protect, I start making my way toward the house. A bad feeling sinks into my gut with every step I take.
My mouth goes dry, and my heart kicks into a sprint I can’t control.
“Get out of there and get your ass back home. Shadow is out of prison; he lied about his release date.”
His words hit me like the startling crack of thunder in the distance. I tumble backward a step, my brain shooting a warning that hell is about to break loose to my heart.
“What?” I trip over my feet as I take off in a deadly run.
Slow-motion, fast forward, rewind. They all gang up, confusing my troubled mind.
When I hear Ellie scream, followed by the echo of a gunshot, the phone slips out of my hand. My mind shifts into the present — adrenaline surges in my veins.
“Ellie, fuck, no. Christ almighty, no,” I yell. Fear and rage urge me to push forward with all that I have.
I don’t know how far I run before chaos strikes around me, and I realize I’m nothing but a sitting duck out here in the open. Shot after gunshot goes off at my feet. Rapid-fire whizzing past my head. The bullets are missing me by inches. They kick up dirt and flowers, obviously meant to slow me down, but I don’t stop running, because I know Shadow is in our house and he will take Ellie. Worse, he’ll do things to fuck up her mind before he kills her.
By the time my feet hit the dewy grass, my mind is circling with all sorts of bullshit I can’t string together: torture and torment and a lifetime of constant pain.
“I’ll rip your heart out of your chest, Shadow, if you touch her. I swear to God.” Something cold and clammy blasts through my veins and worry fist my chest.
I almost make it to the pool before one of those teasing bullets nails me in my shoulder, it scorches like a motherfucker. I fist my hands as I feel an explosion inside of me. It’s an agonizing pain. I’ll be damned if it stops me from killing the little cockroach the second I get my hands on him.
Another bullet splices through me just as I hit the stairs leading up the deck; it knocks me on my ass. When I hit the ground, it’s Ellie’s blood that pours out of me. It’s Ellie’s beautiful face I see.
Over the noise, the pain, the panic, the loss, and the dread, I hear Shadow’s voice, his laughter
a primal sound — one that bleeds through my ears.
“I told you you’d pay for what you’ve done. Don’t worry; I’ll take excellent care of what belongs to me before I cut Ellie to pieces. Isn’t that what you did with my sister? Took care of her before you decided you’d had enough? I could kill you right now, but I have plans to make you suffer. Payback’s a bitch, Logan. You started this war; I’m going to end it. Victoriously. Welcome to the prison of your mind, motherfucker. It’s worse than living behind bars.”
Chapter One
Ellie
A spike of terror races down my body, keeping me still as stone. Knowing Shadow is feet away from me has those immediate shockwaves of thinking I was this close to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, only it was a figment of my imagination.
He isn’t supposed to be out for several months. Did he escape? If he did, wouldn’t we have known? My mind is hysterical and running in loops as it bangs from side to side against my skull.
I’m about to go insane.
All my hopes and dreams are being tossed back in my face while wielding worry, dread, and fear like blades in my direction.
My conscious nips at my sanity and my stomach coils into a thousand untwistable knots.
I close my eyes when I hear the sharpness of his shoes cross the floor. The air is suddenly turning arctic around me as I sense his body leaning over me.
Icy shards stab my brain. I’m going to die right here under the roof of the place I call home.
Please, God, don’t let him touch me.
The mere thought of it makes me nauseous.
Roiling my insides until the taste of acid burns my tongue.
“Goddamn, you are beautiful, even with those bruises. You deserved them, Ellie, and you’re going to have more by the time you and I reacquaint.” He sighs, brushes the hair out of my face, and runs the back of his hand down my cheek, delaying briefly, as if he expects me to flinch.
Unbound Trilogy Boxset Page 40