Unbound Trilogy Boxset

by Coopmans, Kathy

  Somehow as I tuck her close, my hand rubbing up and down her spine, I sense these tears are different than the other times I’ve seen Ellie cry. I’m the one who made her cry the tears before. I’m the one who hurt her. These are incomparable because with every tear that hits my skin, every shake, every sniffle, she’s releasing the last of her fear.

  I felt like an asshole, not trying to comfort her with words. How could I when deep down no one would know what she went through unless they experienced it themselves.

  So I lay there with her clinging to me like I’m the recovery she needs. I do this because I love her. I breathe her in and let her cry.

  Suddenly, she stops, lifts her head, her mouth lets out an exhale, and I feel it, I see it. She’s a step away from peace. Little does she know how close she is to it.

  She’s going to be okay. Truly okay. Thank Christ.

  My vision shifts from her face to the column of her neck, fingerprints I didn’t notice before mar her soft skin, along with a couple of needle marks. Holding in my temper, I drift farther to where her pulse flutters. It’s out of control.

  For the longest time, neither of us speak. It’s one of those rare moments when all you hear is the thump of your heart in your ears. We lay there drinking each other in — it’s the most intimate moment we’ve shared.

  “Logan.”

  My name. It has never sounded so good coming off her sweet tongue. It’s potent and powerful; it’s pain and pleasure, love, and lust. It’s ‘I want to be the one to walk proudly by your side and never leave it again.’ So many unspoken words are spoken by Ellie simply stating my name.

  God, I can’t wait to have her forever.

  “You must be starving. We have this beautiful kitchen I haven’t had the chance to use yet; I could heat you up something,” she whispers — voice clearer than it was a few minutes ago. I’m famished, for her and food. “I studied everything you had done to the house before I came in here. I wouldn’t change a thing. Thank you.” Her voice lifts, her appreciativeness warming my heart.

  It takes me right back to Gabe telling me how people can change when the right person comes along.

  I silence another chuckle. Don’t think I’ll ever get used to someone thinking about my needs, but fuck all if it doesn’t make me appreciate Ellie all the more.

  “I’m hungry, not getting out of this bed quite yet. I like the view too much.” I lift a brow, glance to her breast and if I didn’t know her the way I do, I’d swear she blushes when she notices what I’m practically drooling to take in my mouth.

  “You’re incorrigible.”

  “You wouldn’t want me any other way.”

  “You’re right; I wouldn’t. I love you the way you are. The good, the bad, the kindness, the soft. I do believe I have the total package.”

  This time I do laugh, it rumbles in my chest. “You’ll get soft until you heal, then it’s days upon days of nothing but hard.” Pretty sure I’m talking to my dick as much as I am Ellie.

  “Funny.”

  She blinks, hope, and trust lead the way as she plows a little deeper into my soul. How that’s possible, when she owns it already, I have no idea.

  She covers herself up. With it comes a sudden cold shift in the air, taking us right through the turbulence that we can’t avoid.

  Shit. I want this over and done with once and for all.

  I suck in a breath when trembling fingers reach up to skim around my wound. “Does it hurt?”

  Well, that wasn’t what I expected her to say. Shouldn’t be shocked.

  “It hurts, not as bad as it did when I had no idea where you were. How about you?” I had the doctor check me over when I returned to find Ellie sound asleep, snuggling against Norah. Renita was watching over the two of them like the good mother she is.

  “I’m better. Shadow’s really dead, isn’t he?”

  I swallow — the words on how I killed him locked up on my tongue. Ellie’s seen enough bloodshed to last her three lifetimes, not about to get descriptive and leave images in her head.

  “Yeah, Ellie, he’s dead. Every person who ever thought they could hurt you and get away with it is gone.”

  She tips her head back and sighs. And if I wasn’t in awe of the strength inside of her before, I am when the next words leave her mouth.

  “No one will get caught?”

  I shake my head, caught up in the way she worries her bottom lip when she shouldn’t be.

  “There’s no chance of anyone getting caught. I promise.” I don’t know what they used to wire the house. I trust my family and Rocco. Gabe filled me in on everything while I was being checked over by the doctor. His word is all I need.

  Another breath leaves her. This one is emptying relief.

  “Norah told me most everything. She didn’t tell me about my dad’s guns or mention the video. Renita didn’t either. I want to thank you for protecting them from that. I hope you destroyed it.”

  Incredible. Another thing on the list that makes up this woman—thinking about everyone else when she’s the one who went through hell.

  Fuck, I love her.

  “I’ll always do right by them, same as I will anyone I care about. The phone is destroyed, Ellie. Everything is. Come closer.” I lift my arm, turn to the side so she can push herself up until her head lies on the pillow next to me — the movement causing the robe to slide off her shoulders.

  Fucking hell, I’m going to be tortured until we’re both healed enough for me to sink inside.

  “I’m assuming you have the gun Shadow had. He never let on that he had more things. I have a feeling there is.” She lets out another sigh; this one is full of hurt and anger. Can’t say I blame her. I can’t imagine the thoughts tumbling around in that mind of hers either.

  “I do have the gun.” I swallow, knowing full well I should ease the emotional pain out of her and tell her there’s a lot more where that came from, but something’s going through her beautiful mind making her heart pound so hard I can hear it. Whatever’s troubling her keeps me quiet.

  I can’t fight the internal smile or the one I envision on her lips when she finds out.

  Her body releases the sexiest moan when I reach up and touch her shoulder. Slowly I glide my fingertips lightly down her arm, bypassing the bruises and her wrists still wrapped in gauze. I take hold of her hand, entwining our fingers, giving her a gentle squeeze.

  “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

  Ellie is silent for a beat too long for my liking as I can practically hear her brain deciding on what she wants to say.

  “I know. There are so many things I want to talk about, other things I don’t.”

  “Not going anywhere, baby. Take all the time you need.”

  “It’s ironic you mention time. Renita told me we needed time together before they left. Seth said he told you goodbye before you went to bed. There’s only us and time. We have all of it now.”

  Right and I’ll be damned if I waste another second of it.

  The shift in the air changes again. A crucial turning point in our relationship. A realization that even though we’ve known one another a few short months, what we’ve been building is so much more potent than either of us realized.

  I can’t wait to slip that ring on her finger. I still don’t know how or when, but the longer we lay here, the more it’ll be sooner rather than later.

  Before I even know what I’m doing, I release her hand, bring mine up and glide it through her hair. Like last night, I gently press my lips to hers, letting them linger a bit longer, wanting desperately to swipe my tongue in for a taste.

  “I can’t wait to kiss you the way you deserve. This home, this life, our life together wherever we end up, I’m in it for the long haul, Ellie. There is no end in sight when I think about the future with you. You are all I see, all I want, all I need.”

  “God, Logan.”

  My forehead drops to hers, and I breathe in her scent momentarily before pulling back. “I
love you.” I let my words linger for a second before I direct this conversation to the place neither of us wants to go.

  I wish it were that easy to forgive and forget. But this can’t be swept under the rug; it can’t dry up and disappear with tears. It’ll eat me up the way my guilt did for ten goddamn years if I don’t get it out.

  “I love you too.”

  “I’m sorry, Ellie, so sorry. I felt so damn helpless. I know you were scared. I was too. Watching Shadow beat you, touch you, hurt you, it damn near broke me. You though, you amaze me — this strong, fierce woman who survived. You…” Without having a clue I was going to ease her broken heart by spilling the whereabouts of her parents’ things, she silences me with a finger to my mouth.

  “I don’t know what it is you were going to say. I don’t even know if I want to ever talk about what happened to me. You seeing what Shadow did is too much for me to think about as it is. I was scared, Logan. At one point, I wanted to give up. I have you to thank that I didn’t. If it weren’t for the love we have for each other, I would have let Shadow get to me. For years, I used to try talking myself into running and hiding. The only place I want to run to anymore is into your arms.”

  The smile ghosting her mouth about knocks the wind out of me. So full of faith and love.

  “My arms will always be open for you. You are priceless, do you know that? I won’t push you to talk, not about this. However.” I linger on that word briefly while I hike up, extend my hand, and help her to stand. Needing to give this woman her happy, needing to take that pain, that wonder and worry away and give her everything she deserves because fuck all if she hasn’t given me mine.

  Ellie’s tongue darts out, and so does the smile I’d been holding back, it’s more like a smirk. Cocky and sure that I’m about to blow my girl’s mind. Kind of makes me want to stick around and watch her, but this isn’t a moment in time for her and me.

  “However, what?” she mutters, fixing her robe, covering up all that flesh I can’t wait to touch.

  I don’t answer. Instead, I guide her across the hall, open the door, and give her the one thing that Shadow, Elizabeth, and Whitney stole from her that I’m able to give back.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ellie

  When I first found out who Logan was, I thought he was out to hurt me. Even though he did, it wasn’t his intention. I thought he was arrogant, conceited, and wanted me to dip my toes in his lifestyle. To share me with others and take.

  To define him, now it is so easy.

  The man is the opposite of what I thought. He’s righteous. He’s bad. He’s sincere and real. He’s everything in a man I want. If he weren’t, I wouldn’t be standing here feeling closer to my mom and dad than I did earlier today. I wouldn’t hear their voices telling me this is where I’m finding my peace. Where I can let go of the heartache from missing them and live the life they wanted for me — the only place in my entire life where I’ve ever felt truly safe.

  Even when Shadow lived here, I felt safer than at Renita’s or New Orleans. Maybe it’s because what he did to me was long after this place was stolen from me.

  I don’t know. All I know for sure is this is the place I was meant to be.

  Chaos, commotion, confusion, and a type of calmness I haven’t felt since the day I lost my father settles over me as I stare at several boxes sitting on top of a table in the middle of the room. And one is tilted on its side against the wall. I already know what’s inside without having to open it. That long white box makes my heart swell. Beside it is my dad’s black gun case along with his skeet shooting rifles.

  Belongings that, as sad as they might be to look at, are mine, and the man I love somehow found them. Regardless of what’s inside those boxes, the fact remains, I have bits and pieces of my mom and dad.

  “Logan, I don’t know how you found this stuff, and I don’t care. Thank you.” I turn around, expecting to see him hovering behind me. When all I see is an empty doorway, I can’t help but smile, knowing that he’s given me this time with my parents.

  He’s given me everything I wanted and all that I deserve to have.

  Expect the unexpected. That’s what you are, Logan, the unexpected.

  If I thought my emotions were drowning with what I went through years ago when I thought Elizabeth sold or gave away everything, they are swimming across the surface with all their might, not only to stay afloat but to reach the finish line.

  I swallow the debris in my throat. The pain in my chest slowly breaks away, and my entire body shakes as I move around the table, grab the pair of scissors sitting on top of a box and slice through the tape. The smile on my face that the scissors are there in the first place strums up the anticipation of what I’ll find inside. It’s so intense it courses through me as if I were a child at Christmastime.

  Excitement. Eagerness. Anticipation.

  My heart kicks at my ribs and a lump forms at the base of my throat. With shaky hands, I lift the flaps.

  My mouth drops open, and something like a squeal comes out of my mouth as I pull out some of my mother’s clothes. And I swear I can smell her with every shirt, dress, and pair of slacks that I hold to my chest and sniff even though I know I can’t.

  It’s the same with the next box, the next and the next. Clothes and shoes. All of them belonging to my mother.

  “These may have been worthless to you, Elizabeth, they aren’t to me. They are mine, even if they stay in a closet somewhere for the rest of my life.”

  I don’t bother boxing them back up. Instead, I leave them in a giant heap on the floor to go through later. I grab the scissors and with no grace at all, no care that my ass is going to be on fire more than it already is. I sit cross-legged on the floor and open the gun case.

  “There they are,” I whisper to the walls, run my hands across the hard plastic case I remember so well.

  Tears fall down my face when I see the gun Shadow had tucked safely in the foamy cushions with four others. “Oh, God, I missed you guys so much.” I swipe at my tears, refusing to cry when this is one of the happiest days of my life.

  Pulling out one of the guns and setting it on the floor beside me, I close the lid and move onto the rectangular box that’s undoubtedly going to give me the peace my parents are waiting for me to have.

  Placing the box flat on the floor, I run my hands across the top before lifting the lid. So many memories run through my mind as I stare at what’s inside I don’t bother pausing them.

  “Ellie Mae Wynn, how many times have I told you my wedding dress is not something you play with? If it doesn’t belong to you, then you do not touch it.”

  Pulling the ivory dress out of the box, I get to my feet. Straighten out the lace-covered gown against my body. It’s so much prettier than I remember with the sequins and the detailed beading.

  “I wish I had a mirror.”

  The thought vanishes when I look down — my attention catching on something else inside the box. Two somethings to be exact.

  With eager fingers that tremble more than before and a bottom that’s going to curse me to the hills, I bend over, retrieve the two items, position myself on my side on top of the pile of clothes and set my parents’ wedding photo upright next to me.

  And I stare.

  No sobbing, no anger, just me, my mom, and my dad.

  “You look so happy, so in love,” I say, my eyes flitting back and forth between my parents as they stand side by side, gazing into one another’s eyes. “I can touch this now, Mom. It’s mine.” I hold up her wedding gown as if she can see it. Recalling the many times I’d sneak into her closet, put on her wedding dress only to be scolded and told I wasn’t allowed to touch it until I was old enough to appreciate its worth.

  For the longest time, I remain that way. My fingers running across the lace, my gaze never wavering from them. It isn’t until I shift to get a little more comfortable; I remember the other item. The one that’s going to cut and glue me back together.

  Picking
up the once white envelope that’s now turned a dingy yellow, I trace the one word written in my mother’s perfect handwriting.

  My name.

  Ellie.

  I place a hand over my heart as if it would slow it down; it’s pounding so fast I could explode. My mother left me a letter. She left me a piece of her.

  Oh, my God.

  Shaky fingers slide it open, and my nerves rattle all over the place.

  Ellie,

  Your father and I went to the doctor this morning. He confirmed what both of us already knew. With that said, if you are reading this, then I’m no longer with you. Before I go on, I want to make something clear. If I look down and see you crying while reading this. I’ll be angry with you. Do you hear me? My magical, swimming, Disney loving princess with the most creative imagination of anyone I know will not break down in tears, not when the words I have to say are meant to guide you. You pretend I’m right there saying them to your beautiful face.

  As I sit here writing this, I haven’t come to accept that one day my mind will forget about you. As a mother, it’s the toughest pill I will ever swallow. I’m thinking how is it possible to forget about her? She’s unforgettable. She’s part of me, the best part honestly. But they say I will.

  I want you to know; I tried my best to beat this terrible disease because the thought of forgetting about you and your father rips my heart in two.

  That’s the funny thing about the heart. It might ache, feel like it wants to break when something terrible happens, and in our minds it does. It doesn’t break, Ellie. It holds strong and steady. It carries you through life, makes you become who you are and you have a big heart. You always have.

  The heart never forgets those we love either. It holds so much, and it will take on everything life tosses our way. I want you to know that I might not remember who you are in my mind, but I will forever know who you are always and forever in my heart. I can’t forget you there, not when you and your dad take up the entire space.

  I’m not going to write about the things I’ll miss watching as you grow up. I’ll see them; I’ll watch, and I’ll listen.