“Where do we stand, Jay?” I asked quietly. I couldn’t keep holding my feelings inside. That wasn’t who I was and it wasn’t who he was used to me being.
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly.
“All this kissing and touching and sweetness, I don’t know what to do with it. It’s confusing me. I don’t want what we have to be ruined by our hormones. I value your friendship and I love how close we’ve become. I feel like you’re one of my best friends. I don’t want to lose that.”
“You’ll never lose it, baby. You’ll always have me. I promise you that.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because you aren’t just beautiful outside, but inside where it counts. You make me laugh when I’ve had a shit day. You put silly shit in my office that makes me smile knowing you care enough to put in that effort. You make my girl giggle when you give her the sweet that she’s never really had. But mostly because sometimes when we’re together, I feel like I won the damn lottery. You hold it down, baby. That makes you special.”
I felt my face burn with his words. I bit my lip and turned my head to hide the tears building in my eyes. It wasn’t me who was special. It was who I was with him. He brought out a side of me that had been dormant for far too long.
“If it will make you feel better, T, I’ll keep myself in check. You won’t need to worry anymore.”
I nodded and blinked back the moisture clinging to my eyelashes.
I felt deflated knowing that we probably just had our last kiss, but I needed the clarity of having a nice line drawn in the sand. The life I was building for myself was one that I looked forward to and I couldn’t let the fact that we were in different places in our romantic lives threaten the stability I had started becoming accustomed to. Even as my heart was breaking, I knew it was the right thing for us to do.
“We need to head back. I got stuff to do, baby,” Jay said softly.
I softly agreed and let him help me off the giant rock. We walked in tandem up to the bike. Once we mounted it, I held on tightly not wanting the moment to end.
Chapter Thirteen
Sitting on the plush leather sofa in the control room of the recording studio, I was in heaven. This was all so amazing. I couldn’t believe Jay trusted me enough to be down here and was willing to show me the ins and outs of making an album.
We had spent the better part of the last two weeks working on Plado’s next album. So far I had found the whole process fascinating, and I secretly loved that Jay got a gleam in his eye whenever I expressed interest. This was his world, his life, his driving force. It got him through tough times and gave him something to fight for. That alone was enough of a reason for me to dive in and learn more. I couldn’t help my desire to know anything and everything about him.
The music started back up and filled the room. It was such a catchy tune, that I couldn’t help bouncing in my seat a little and shaking my feet to the beat. I caught Jerome watching me out of the corner of my eye and I flushed with embarrassment. He had a grin tugging at his lips when he winked at me.
“Okay, now this is where we’ll have the girls sing backup and add in the clapping,” Jay muttered from his post at the mixing board where he flicked switches and turned dials.
Jerome leaned forward with a mischievous look on his face. “I think we should let Tori do some of the backup vocals.”
I cringed as three sets of eyes turned towards me. I started shaking my head profusely, saying “No, no, no,” over and over again.
Plado peeked his head out of the isolation booth. “We got it?”
“Yeah. And Tori is going to sing backup vocals,” Jay answered him without taking his eyes off me.
“No shit?” Plado’s eyebrows raised practically to his hairline.
How was it that this was happening? I still hadn’t said a word towards agreeing to this asinine idea.
“I don’t think—” I started, but didn’t get any further.
“That’s the fucking shit!” Plado exclaimed silencing my protest.
“It’s settled then.” Jay leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his broad chest. The same chest I continually drooled over whenever I remembered touching it.
“Like I was trying to say boys. I’m not sure that is a good idea. You haven’t even heard my singing voice. I sound like… like… like Kermit the Frog. It’s positively dreadful.”
“Bullshit,” Jerome said. “I heard you singing at the copier last week and everyone hears you singing whenever you fly into the lot out back with that convertible of yours.”
Well, he had me there.
“And I heard you talking to Keesha about how you used to be in pageants and shit when you were younger. I googled that shit and you babe are no frog,” he continued.
“You… I… You actually googled me? That is… I don’t know what that is, but I can tell you I don’t like it.”
“Pageants, T? As in swimsuits and short outfits?” Jay asked.
I looked over at him and felt my body flush at the heat that was burning in his eyes. God, I wish he would hide his lust from me. It would make our pact to stay strictly platonic a hell of a lot easier if he did.
“You’re sick! I stopped pageants when I was fifteen.”
“She was still hot, Jay. Those stems. Shit. I get hard just thinking about those stems.” Jerome groaned and adjusted himself.
Um, what?
“Shut the fuck up,” Jay said menacingly.
Jerome held his hands up in a placating gesture. “She’s totally fucking hot, Jay. You know it. I know it. I can’t help that my dick knows it.”
Jay stood up and made to punch Jerome, so I jumped up and waded in to calm the waters. “Okay, boys. No need to fight. I swear you are like kids sometimes. I’ll do it, but if it doesn’t sound good you need to tell me. Promise.”
I looked at Jay, and he shook his head and went into what I was realizing was his signature stance with his arms crossed.
“Get in here then, sweet cheeks.” Plado waved me into the small booth and handed me the headphones. “You’ll hear the music through these. You remember what you’re supposed to sing, right?”
I nodded and he continued, “Good. Just sing the line each time the chorus cuts in. Be sure to drag it out a few counts and don’t worry if you don’t get it right on the first take. Kay?”
“I think so,” I said, barely above a whisper. I could feel the butterflies going crazy in my stomach. It had been a long time since I willingly put myself in the spotlight. When my mom died, so did my dream. Pageants and singing became a thing of the past.
The door closed behind Plado and I took a deep breath. I could do this. My reacting this way was crazy.
“You ready, T?” I heard Jay’s smooth and gentle voice filter into the room.
“Yes,” I replied into the microphone, assuming that was how he could hear me. A few moments later the music filled my ears and I once again found my body moving to the music. I swear this tune was far too catchy. It was sure to be hit. Plado’s soprano voice sang about being happy and in the moment. How anyone couldn’t be happy after hearing this song was beyond me.
The chorus started and I cursed for missing my cue. I was too caught up in the song. The music stopped abruptly.
“Everything all right?” Jay asked me.
“Yes. Sorry. I was too busy listening to the song. I’ll pay more attention this time.”
Jay started the song again, and I tamped down my movement as best as I could. This time I hit my mark and sang the line repeatedly throughout each chorus. A couple of times I mentally cringed when my pitch was slightly off, but I powered through. By the end of the song, I was smiling and belting out the words far stronger than I was when it started.
The music ended and a loud whistle came over the speakers. “I guess he wasn’t lying. That was some shit. Damn. You sang like it was nobody’s business, baby.”
I smiled brighter after Jay’s praise. I hated to admit it, but
I liked it when I did something that made him proud.
“Can we do it again? I know I can do it better.”
“Yeah, baby.” His voice came back to me, and my eyes closed as the silky sound grazed my skin and gave me a shiver.
The song started from the beginning and I went at it. I gave it my all. I loved every second of it. It was exhilarating.
After a few more takes, I decided I could go on forever. I could easily do this a million times over and not be sick of it. I wondered if Jay would let me do backup vocals on other songs too. There had to be a demand of some sort for that here.
“That’s a wrap, baby. You did great.”
“Thanks.”
At the excitement of knowing I did it, I decided to let loose. I began singing the lyrics again as I danced around the room. My arms circled and swung around in an arc in front of me. My ass swayed while my hips dipped. I might have even done the dreaded “cabbage patch” dance from the eighties. I was too in the moment to realize that on the other side of the wall four men were watching every single move I made and were laughing their asses off while doing so.
* * *
Jay
“Is she doing the cabbage patch?” Plado asked incredulously in between big guffaws.
It wasn’t just Plado laughing. Jerome, Mike and I were all in different states of cracking the fuck up over Tori’s horrible dance moves. She was definitely excited about how well she did.
I had to admit I was fucking blown away by the pipes on her. Once she loosened up and her vocal chords warmed up, she was phenomenal. I couldn’t believe the fact that she hadn’t tried for more in the music industry other than a few pageants. With her daddy’s money and reputation, she could have had a few doors opened for her.
“Fuck, Jay. If you don’t hit that soon, I fucking will,” Plado said once he sobered.
“I don’t think so,” I gritted out.
“What the fuck are you waiting for? That bitch is prime beef. I would have branded her and taken a big fuckin’ bite by now,” Mike decided to join the conversation. Lucky for him, Jerome chose to keep his mouth shut about the conversation we had recently about Tori and me deciding just to be friends.
I would have branded and eaten her out again too if it weren’t for the fact that I knew she’d want more from me. We both had too much baggage and I wasn’t sure it was the best thing. But fuck if it wasn’t hard to keep my head on straight as she pranced around in those tight fucking clothes, making everyone’s mouths water and cocks hard.
“She’s going to shit when she finds out we can see her,” Jerome coughed out.
I sighed. She was. Tori definitely had a temper. Sometimes she was funny as hell when she went off on a rant. Like last week when she cursed the coffee shop for not serving jelly donuts. Too bad for her it just drew me in and made me want her even more than I already did. And that was saying something.
“Tori, baby, we can see you,” I said into the microphone and watched as she jumped and her hands flew to her chest.
“You can?” She replied weakly.
All the guys started laughing again. “Yeah, baby. We can see you and we can hear you.”
“Shit! Stop laughing you big jerks!” Her face blushed, but she rallied just like I knew she would and gave us all hell for picking on her.
Next thing I knew Tori and her pink cheeks were standing in front of me and her finger was poking me in the chest.
“I can’t believe you let me go on like that when you knew I was making an ass out of myself!” She cried out in disbelief.
I turned and looked at the guys who were now doubled over with laughter.
“Thanks for helping a brother out,” I muttered under my breath. “Look, T. It was funny as shit and there was no way we weren’t going to enjoy it. You got some moves, baby.”
She bit her lip, most likely in anger, and I stepped closer to her. My voice dropped low so only she could hear me. “I had to fight getting hard thinking about the moves I already know you have in the bedroom.”
“Ahhhh!” She screamed and stormed out of the room.
I shrugged my shoulders in confusion. What the fuck was her problem now? I didn’t think I was taking it too far by teasing her like that.
* * *
Tori
I stormed into my office both pissed off and turned on. I hated it when he talked in that soft, raspy voice. It made places tingle that shouldn’t be tingling. At least not just from his voice. Maybe I was reacting this way because I needed to get laid. And not just in a quick and good way, but in a rode hard and put away wet kind of way. The way I knew he could give me if I wasn’t such a sappy chick wanting a relationship.
What I hated more than the fact that Jay could turn me on so quickly, was the fact that I made a complete idiot out of myself. Those boys gossiped more than half the women in this place. It would definitely get around and my embarrassment would be sure to escalate when it did.
God, I was such a dork. I was never as cool as some of my friends growing up and even in adulthood. I never had as much poise as them and I was always doing stupid things like dancing like a geek in a booth with four hot guys watching. I was convinced that the only reason half of the debutantes and socialites I hung out with even gave me the time of day was because of my father’s money. It wasn’t like they were blowing up my phone now that I was broke and living in a dive of an apartment.
Keesha walked in with a smirk on her face and I felt like hiding under my desk. Or punching her. Maybe I’d give in to that urge.
“Hey, T. I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me tonight.”
My eyes narrowed on her suspiciously. “I don’t know. What were you thinking?”
“Well, I could really use some help with my dance moves, so I thought we could go to Avenu and cut a rug on their dance floor.” She barely got the last word out before she burst into giggles. I glared at her as she wiped tears from her face.
Was it really that funny? I. Did. Not. Think. So.
“You done?” I asked acidly.
She nodded her head and wiped under her eyes. “Oh, God that was funny. I haven’t seen anyone doing some of those moves in a long time.”
“What do you mean you haven’t seen it?” I asked with incredulity lacing my voice.
“You didn’t know that shit is recorded? Damn, T. How could you not have known with all the time you’ve been spending with Jay down there?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I screeched and jumped out of my chair. “I’m going to kill him.”
I stormed back down to the studio and ran into Jerome. “I’m going to kick your ass as soon as I’m done with your boss. Where is he?” I looked around the studio, but didn’t see him anywhere.
“He went out back to take a call. Chill woman. It’s no big deal.”
“No big deal? Right,” I muttered with sarcasm as I stomped down the hall and flung the door open that led to the parking lot in back of the building.
I surveyed the empty lot, save the cars parked there and headed to the side of the building where there was a small area set up for smokers. Jay was there with his back against the wall and his phone to his ear. Even in my rage, I could still appreciate all that was him. He wore baggy jeans that still showcased a spectacularly tight ass, and a white t-shirt that hugged his biceps, chest, and upper back. The rest of it hung looser and you were left to your imagination for what was underneath. I knew what was underneath, and it did not disappoint.
He finished up his call, pocketed his phone and turned towards me when I got closer.
I walked right up to him and pushed him hard into the brick wall of the building. “You’re an ass!” I screamed in his face.
“What the fuck?” He slipped out right before I pushed him again.
“How dare you record that and show people? I have a mind to kick you in the balls.”
“You’re crazy if you think I’m letting you anywhere near my balls like this. It was meant to tease you, T. Y
ou need to pull that stick out of your ass and learn to laugh.”
“Oh… you!” Without thinking I lunged at him. In our tussle, he somehow got me backed up against the building with his body pressing in on mine. My hands rested on his chest. I fought the urge to feel him up and experience his body the way my hormones were raging to do.
“Let me go,” I said breathlessly.
“You want to put your hands on me, baby, I have far better ways for you to work that energy out of you,” he said with that low voice again. His hands ran up my torso and gripped my ribcage right below my breasts.
A little higher, my mind silently urged.
Yes, I was desperate. Desperate to be touched by him. Desperate to be kissed by him. My chest heaved with anticipation and my body was igniting thanks to his closeness.
His head dipped to my neck, and his nose ran along the skin there. “Fuck, you smell good. Fuckin’ peaches. You trying to kill me?”
I shook my head slightly because my voice had taken a trip to Alaska and wasn’t coming back anytime soon.
A little higher, I pleaded in my mind when his fingers shifted slightly and brushed the bottom swell of my breast.
“Tori,” he groaned and pressed into me further. “Baby, I’m not sure I can stay away from you much longer.”
“So don’t,” I forced myself to whisper in his ear. His breath glided against my skin, and I felt his lips graze my neck. I had to bite back a moan at how needy he was making me.
“I want to pull this skirt up and fuck you right here.” He reached down and pulled my leg up and around his waist. “Your world class legs wrapped around my back and your tight little cunt milking me.”
“Yes,” I did moan that time and pushed my hips into his, feeling his erection against me right where I wanted it.
“Not like this.” He stepped back and my leg fell to the ground. “I don’t want only your body saying yes. All of you needs to be in it.”
I felt myself sag against the building. Disappointed was an understatement for the way I was feeling. But then again, I was the one who insisted we be just friends. I had no one to blame but myself.
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