by Jodi Kae
“Ren, listen to me. From the moment I found you on the road, you were mine. I didn’t give you a choice; at the time, there was none. I have tried to reason with myself over my obsession to possess you, and I can’t come up with anything logical. You make me crazy, illogical, horny, and scared shitless all at once. My need for you is overwhelming. I can’t get enough; if I had my way I would keep you tied to my bed naked, day in and day out. I think my hormones took over when I put you in my tub; I am a walking hard on. Don’t think that what we shared was not amazing for me, or the best experience of my life because it was. I should have taken you to get help when I found you, but I couldn’t bring myself to let you go even for a minute. I forced you to submit to me; I forced you to say you wanted me, regardless of your emotional state. My need for you was so great that I was no longer thinking. Hell, even now I think my brain has checked out leaving my heart and dick to do the thinking for me.” She giggles and her face lights up like an angel.
‘When you were crying out this morning, I thought you were having a dream about me, regretting what we had done. My guilt and shame for taking advantage of you were so great that I needed to go to a friend for advice. I’m so sorry I left like that. In the future, if either one of us is assuming the worst; we need to talk it through. I know this sounds crazy, but I love you, Ren. I have never felt like this for anyone in my thirty-one years and will never feel like this for anyone but you. You are everything I didn’t know I wanted or thought I couldn’t have. I need you, and I don’t want to live without you.”
For the second time that day she lunged for me. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she fuses her lips to mine while her body lies flush on me.
~Ren~
After that heartfelt speech, I realize that this amazing hero of mine thinks he didn’t give me a choice. He will beat himself up for the rest of his life if I don’t correct his own thinking error. I don’t have a lot of experience with men, especially not in the intimate setting; however, I know this man would never do anything to hurt me or take away my choices.
I remember bits and pieces of the last week and never once did this man take advantage of me. He cared for and nursed me back to health. He whispered encouraging words into my ears while holding me every night while I slept. I don’t think, no I know, I would not be in the same healed condition I am in today if I had spent the last week in the hospital. His very personal attention, after what I had just been through, I believe, is what brought me back not only physically but mentally as well. This man of mine needs to know that he is my choice, has been my choice since the moment I awoke.
“I need to take you, Derek. Tell me you want this as much as I do.” Sitting back, I work frantically to undo his pants. As soon as the zipper is down, I realize that he has gone commando and that is so sexy. Warmth floods me as I feel my wetness on his boxers that I wear. I look up to see his clipped nod. “I need the words, Baby.” He smirks at my theft of his words.
“God yes, Ren. I want this, I need this, Baby.”
I have no sexual experience, except for what we have done already, but he senses my reluctance and takes the lead. I have given him the green light, so he grabs my waist and lifts me over his legs to place me on his lap. The boxers I wear prove to be no barrier for his seeking touch. Regardless of our desperation for each other, this amazing, controlling, dominant man, is going to let me set the pace. He needs this from me. He needs to know that it is my choice and not some messed up version of sexual coercion he has going on in his head.
I lean forward, softly press my lips to his and slowly lower my hips. I am home. This is heaven, and I will happily die here with this man.
Chapter Eleven
Frantic:
*distraught with fear, anxiety, or other emotion. *conduct in a hurried, and disorganized way.
~Ren~
I jolt awake with pain flashing through my body and scream out, “please no more.” Arms like steel wrap around me pulling me closer to a warm body. I struggle to get away until I hear the deep timber of his voice. My eyes focus, and I realize that I am in Derek’s bed. He must have carried me up here after we made love on the couch.
“Sshhh, Baby, it’s just a bad dream. I’ve got you; you’re safe.”
Like an order I have no will to defy, my body instantly melts into his side. Tears leak from my eyes and soak into his skin, but he makes no move to push me away, even though I am getting him wet, and not in the good way. After a minute of letting me get my bearings, he slowly pulls me up his body, tilts my head back, and presses his lips softly to mine.
How did I get so lucky? Things could be so bad for me right now, but fate has brought me this man. I stiffen as I realize once again I am selfish. I bask in the glow of this amazing man while my sister’s life is in peril. When he realizes something is wrong, he pulls back, and those amazing blue eyes beg me to tell him what I’m thinking.
“Derek, my sister, we have to save my sister. I left her there, and she could be gone by now. They do unspeakable things to women. At this very moment, as I am at peace and safe with the man of my dreams, she is probably being tortured and raped. She will break.” I start to sob uncontrollably. “You have given me so much, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but I can’t help her without you. These men are dangerous and carry guns, and the thought of putting you in danger is unbearable. We need to go to the police to get help. There are many guards; only two were in constant contact with me. However, I remember many different voices. I know there are more women too. I remember hearing them quietly cry as if they didn’t want to be heard being weak, except I could hear them through the walls. Oh God, please we have to hurry!”
~Derek~
“Ren, calm down and listen carefully. I have a friend in the FBI. Yesterday, when I left you alone for a couple of hours, I went to meet him. With my job as a private investigator, Jax and I have worked several cases together throughout the years. I was going to have him check missing person’s files and see if he could find out anything about you. I trust him with my life, and I trust him with yours as well.” The look of panic on her face is what I put there by my own selfish actions. A misunderstanding I will correct right now. “Look at me, Baby. Don’t get the wrong idea or we are going to have a come to Jesus talk next. You are mine, mine to protect, mine to make love to and only mine to love. I will never trust your safety solely to someone else; however, I do trust Jax to help me keep you safe. He would never betray me, and I’m not just going to leave you with someone else unless I have no other choice. Do you understand me?”
Once she relaxed and quit letting her thoughts go in all directions, she finally nods her head. “I am going to send him a picture of you so he can check the database for me. I don’t want to involve too many people in case someone is watching for a search on you. Depending on the kind of connections your kidnappers have, they may be searching hospitals, clinics and also missing person searches.” Now that I know what happened to her, it confirms my gut instinct of keeping her hidden.
“Jax is undercover and being placed as a guard in a house that keeps women they abduct until they find buyers. He knew about the theft from the house and also that two guards were found dead, but the product was not. Product meaning you.” She jerked back to look at my face, trying to determine if I thought so little of women. I crack a smile at my fierce little hellcat. “There’s my little fighter; I knew she was in there somewhere. No, Ren, I do not think so little of women or people in general. These monsters that take women use these terms to disconnect from humanity. You are nothing to them but a commodity, so instead of calling you women or girls they refer to you as product.
Jax is aware of the situation, and he knows a little about you. I didn’t know about your sister at the time, so I will have to get the info to him soon. He is going into the house on Friday, a
nd I need to get him a picture of you. Do you have social media or an email that may have family pictures of the two of you?” Now that we know who you are, we can work on saving your sister.
Chapter Twelve
Protection:
*the action of protecting, or the state of being protected. *keep safe from harm or injury. *restrict access to or use of.
~Ren~
At the mention of family, thoughts of my dad crash into my mind. He must be so worried. “Derek. My dad! He has to be sick with worry. We lost my mom a few years ago, and we are all he has left. Please, we have to contact my dad too,” I sob. “Can I use your phone? I need to call him.” Then remembering something the tattooed guy said once. “Derek, the guy who beat me said he had watched us for months and knew we would be perfect candidates. He told me that they wanted virgins and he never saw us go out. Is it possible that he could know my dad or us? Could my dad be in danger as well? Why were they watching us?” I feel a full-blown panic attack coming on, but Derek seems to read me like a book and rolls me to my back.
~Derek~
I know at any moment she is going to start hyperventilating, so I roll her underneath me and straddle her thighs. I grip both wrists in one hand pinning them above her head. I hate to use her hormones as my personal weapon, but that seems to be the only thing that helps her mind become blank. I smash my lips to hers and kiss her like it’s our last time. She immediately relaxes beneath me becoming warm and liquid. As the tension leaves her body, I see that as my cue to finish our conversation.
“Ren, listen to me.” Her eyes are heavy, but I have her attention now. “If what you say is true about them watching you, there is a possibility that they do know your dad. It is also possible that if they think for even one second that you got away, your dads will be the first place you would run to, so they will be watching. They may have the house bugged just waiting for the call. I know you want to put him at ease, but it will only be temporary relief. Right now he only knows you are missing, which is horrible for any parent. If you show up without Tori, he is going to want to know what happened to you both. Are you prepared to tell him and have him imagine what is still happening to her? I am not a parent, but if they got to you again, I don’t know how sane I would be once I found you. Believe me; I would find you or die trying. Your dad will be no different.”
Tears are pooling in her eyes to run down her temples and disappear into her soft chocolate waves. I know her mind is trying to find a way around the truth but coming up empty.
Letting her dad or the press know she is alive is the worst possible thing we could do. Not only would it put her in more danger, but Tori as well. They would move the holding house rather than take the risk that Ren might be able to find it. They are probably still looking for proof of life, and until they find her body, they won’t stop looking and risk exposing their multi-billion dollar operation. Alerting anyone of her whereabouts will just ramp up the kidnapper’s efforts to find her.
“Jax is going in to help these women. If he can find your sister, he will protect her with his life. When she is home safe, we will bring your dad here where it is safe from prying eyes. Then you can decide how much to tell him. As a man, I know it would crush me to know that someone in my care went through something like this; that I didn’t protect what’s mine.”
~Ren~
Fire boils in my veins. “Now wait just a damn minute, Derek Mason. Don’t ever say that my dad did not protect us. He is the most wonderful father a girl could ask for. He worked hard and planned for our future. When my mom died, we thought it would break him, but he kept going just for us. He loves us; he provided for us, he…he…begged us not to go!” Violent sobs break from my chest. Oh God, why didn’t I listen to him? It will kill him to know that we were tortured. Derek is right, even though it is not my dad’s fault, he will shoulder the blame.
How do I hide this from him? He will know I’m different. I have nightmares, and every time I fall asleep I feel blows that are no longer there. How long before they go away, what if they never do? I am jumpy and afraid to be alone. I have always trusted people. I enjoy my own quiet time. I would to sit in a park and read a book while sneaking peaks at the children playing. Never once did I feel like I should be watching over my shoulder with a need to protect my back. I am afraid that those carefree days are gone, and I am heartbroken over that fact.
~Derek~
Wow, I have never seen so many emotions play over someone’s face in a matter of two minutes. Every one of Ren’s expressions is beautiful. She is a firecracker and fiercely protective of those she loves. I am looking forward to being one of those people, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to deserve it.
“Ren, I didn’t mean to imply that your dad failed you. It’s just, as a male, we take protecting what belongs to us very seriously. Hell, dogs pee on everything just so other male dogs will stay away. I am pretty sure cats do the same thing even though I’ve never had any. I read somewhere that lions and large felines would pee boundary lines to warn others away. Gorillas beat their chests and roar out to scare away competition and predators. We are all primitive in some way with a fierce need to protect and mark what’s ours. I didn’t mean to upset you or make you angry, but I have to say it is kind of sexy. Let’s just hope for my sake that we don’t have any daughters because there will be no rules to follow when protecting my family. It will be my pleasure watching you be the momma bear to our boys.”
Holy shit! Did that just come out of my mouth? I wink at her to lighten the mood, but she still stares at me in shock. Is she recalling both times that I have marked her or the fact that I didn’t protect her from pregnancy either time? Just thinking of the possibility of her carrying my child has me excited.
She’s only wearing my button up shirt that has risen to her upper thighs. After making love on the couch last night, I stripped off my two-day old clothes and just carried her to bed, so I am still completely naked. As I crouch over her, still holding her down, she seems to follow my train of thought and casts her eyes down my body. I am learning that I have no control over that appendage around Ren. She might as well consider me her sex slave.
The pleasure we have found in each other is explosive, and she can’t seem to control her desire either. I hope she never will. I plan to spend many hours connected to that sweet little body. She was made for me. Her body surrounds mine like the best pair of leather gloves, the kind that feels like a second skin. Ren is my second skin. Now I have to convince her to stay once this ordeal is over and she and her sister are safe.
Her eyes have darkened to emeralds, and from her chest up there is a rosy glow that flushes her skin. Her legs press to the inside of mine and urge me to lift one and then the other, so I am now kneeling between her thighs. I reach down with one hand and undo the buttons of my shirt she is wearing, exposing perfect breasts and all that creamy skin. I am in awe of this woman. How the hell she has remained single is beyond my comprehension. She slides her arms from my shirt and reaches for me. There are no words needed, just a dance of two bodies, hearts, and souls who need to come together. The ecstasy of this moment is so great I feel like I’m taking her for the first time all over again. It takes everything I have to go slow.
~Ren~
“Please,” this man is so beautiful, how did I ever get so lucky? My eyes are misting up, and I’m afraid he thinks I’m upset. These tears are happy tears, but how do I get him to be himself; to take what he needs from me if he thinks he’s hurting me? “Derek, I need you, all of you. I don’t want you to hold back because you think I’m too fragile. I may have been, but you have brought me back a stronger, fiercer, loved woman. I want all you need to give me. I need to know I’m giving to you in return. That is how I will repay you for your kindness.”
The look on his face tells me that I have said the wrong thing, but what? I think h
e is counting to ten to get his temper in check; like taking time out before scolding a petulant child.
~Derek~
“God Dammit, Ren! This is not about a payment you feel you owe. I need you! I want you more than I wanted the newest Star Wars action figure when I was 10. I love you like I have never loved anyone. Even before I knew your name, I knew you were mine. I didn’t nurse you back to health for payment of some debt you think you owe. How many ways can I say it, Baby, you’re it for me. I don’t need months of courtship or a long engagement to prepare for a lifetime commitment, Ren. I…Love…You! I want to grow old with you, have babies with you and spend the rest of my life trying to deserve you. Marry me?...Those better be happy tears since I’m not taking no for an answer.” Almost reverently she whispers,
“Yes.”
I fuse my mouth to hers and make love to my fiancé. I hope and pray that the more time I spend with her and am sated by her, that my endurance will last a little longer. Holy shit, I can’t control myself either.
Chapter Thirteen
Committed:
*in or denoting a long-term emotional relationship. *pledge or bind a person or an organization to a certain course. *be dedicated to something.