Leeky patted her on the back.
Arizon raised a hand for silence and pointed toward Adan. “Explain.”
Once more, Adan cleared his throat. “By all rights, O.T.T. should go down in history as the greatest diplomatic strategist Albrath has ever known. Even after losing a testicle to Karla years ago, he offered himself up as collateral for the use of the blade. Not a braver gnome have I ever seen. Even as we speak, he’s in Karza…with Karla, awaiting our return. In the morning, we’ll take the blade back and collect our friend. As intact as we left him, I hope.”
Arizon nodded and wiped what suspiciously looked like a tear from his eye. “I see a medal of honor in that gnome’s future. What selflessness and dedication.” He waved his arms outward encompassing the hall. “Let it be known. The nogard has been dispatched, and Lizbeth Hammerstrike is reinstated as an enchantress student here at the Academy of Magic.”
The Queen fainted.
****
No bed had ever felt so welcoming.
Lizbeth snuggled beneath the furs and up against the warm, naked body of her husband, tingling with joy and anticipation.
Adan chuckled. “Be careful where you put that lush bottom of yours, Lizard. Even though I’m tired all the way to the marrow of my bones, some things are near impossible to resist.”
She turned to him and ran her hand the length of his torso, marveling in the rock-hard plains of his chest and abdomen before finally coming to rest on his expanding cock.
She grasped his balls, squeezing gently as she grinned. “Perhaps I don’t wish to be resisted. I think we deserve a reward for our fine work of these past few days, my lord. Would you like another Adan Hammerstrike class demonstration by chance?”
Adan gulped, and Lizbeth felt his cock spasm beneath her fingers.
“Lizard, I’m game if you are, my love, but you’ve had a very long day, and you’re with child, remember? You need your rest. I’ll devour you when we wake.”
She giggled. “Don’t call me Lizard, and as for our child…” She turned and glanced toward the window. Outside, the morning sun was just beginning to peak in the eastern sky, a gentle breeze blew through the drapes, and birds sang. “Zander seems quite content at the moment. I think he’s sleeping.”
She ran a single finger across the head of Adan’s cock, swirling it around and around before bringing it to her lips and slowly licking. “If we’re quiet, we won’t wake the baby.”
Lizbeth slid her hand back down his body and grasped him once more. She opened and closed about his completely rigid cock, stroking as she went. He groaned, and it was like music to her ears.
“Shush,” she whispered against the scratchy stubble of tomorrow’s beard while kissing her way to his mouth. “Just lie back and relax. This one’s on me.”
She captured his lips with hers and forgot who was seducing whom as his arms enveloped her and his tongue plundered her mouth. Lightning fast jolts of pleasure raced along her spine and straight to her pussy. Her toes curled of their own volition, and the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention, waiting, wanting, needing.
She didn’t have to wait long as, with a growl, Adan flipped her onto her stomach and began a slow descent of kisses from the top of her shoulder blades to the small of her back. She wiggled beneath him, the warmth of his lips combined with the stubble on his cheeks driving her insane. Every nerve ending in Lizbeth’s body zinged to life.
He parted her thighs and slid one finger deep into her pussy while still feathering kisses along her hips. “Want to bet there are still things you don’t know about me when it comes to making love, Lizard? I think I still have a surprise or two up my sleeve. Or in this case, down my pants.” Then he nipped her right ass cheek, hard.
Lizbeth shivered, as chill bumps popped and her flesh burned with fevered desire. “I think I’ve leaned my lesson about betting with you, my lord. I’ll take you at your word, this time.”
He nipped her again, and she moaned. Never had she experienced such a feeling of wantonness, yet at the same time, knew herself to be completely safe.
It made sense now. She didn’t have to be afraid of marriage with this man. He would never hurt her. They were a couple, a husband and a wife, separate yet one. Equals, not only here in this bed, in the love they made, but also in day-to-day life.
Each would always give as good as they got, and more than good was what she was getting now as Adan pulled her up until all that touched the bed were her knees, feet, and hands. His cock nestled snugly between her legs as if it were her own, and his arms wrapped about her, her back to his front.
He ran his hands freely over her, tweaking first one taut nipple then the other before moving down her belly and back up again. His lips tickled her tender skin, kissing and sucking a path from the tips of her pointed ears, down her neck, and along her shoulder blades.
Lizbeth couldn’t breathe, and she couldn’t think. Jolts of delight shot throughout her body, paralyzing her with pleasure. Everywhere he touched, spasms of ecstasy followed in his wake. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him it didn’t get any better than this when it did.
Adan leaned into her, and in one swift plunge, entered her. He fisted both his hands in her hair and rode. The walls of Lizbeth’s pussy clenched about him, and her juices flowed.
Throbbing with need, she met him stroke for stroke. The faster and deeper he plunged, the quicker she reciprocated by slamming her ass against him.
This was no cultured gentleman and his sweet lady dallying. And this was no gently bred dandy with his civilized doxie. This was two barbarians fucking, this was raw, this was untamed, and this was real.
Lizbeth quivered with the absolute bliss of it.
A throbbing so intense it almost hurt built deep within. She fought it, trying to stave off what she knew was coming, wanting this moment to last longer, to last forever.
Adan was having none of it, however. He slipped a hand around Lizbeth’s waist, down between her folds, and matched the strokes of his cock with caresses against her clit.
Lizbeth lost the fight to keep from orgasming as spasms—his filling her with hot liquid and hers rocking her to the very core—had her shuddering with surrender. She collapsed in Adan’s arms, spent, satisfied, complete.
It was long moments later, after her heart had ceased pounding and her breathing slowed, that she found the energy to glance up. He was grinning at her like the arrogant prince he was, and she couldn’t help but smile right back at him. Oh, my God Draka, he was sexy.
She sighed, no longer afraid, but finally content with the thought of being Adan Hammerstrike’s wife, their son’s mother, and the next barbarian queen. But there was still unfinished business to attend to. What did the immediate future hold?
“So, what’s the plan for tomorrow and all the other tomorrows after that? That is, after we go rescue O.T.T.” Lizbeth hoped the anxiousness didn’t show in her voice. She didn’t want Adan to know how important his answer was to her.
He hugged her close, then tipped her face up until they were eye to eye. “What do you want our tomorrows to hold?”
Lizbeth took a deep breath. “Well, I’d like to finish this next semester here at The Academy if that’s possible. Then I suppose we must return to your parent’s castle for the birth of our child, mustn’t we?”
Adan kissed her forehead and sighed. “One more semester doesn’t sound unreasonable. Zander isn’t due for a few moons yet. As for his birth, by decree, the heir to the throne must be born on Alarian soil. However, that doesn’t mean we have to live with my parents. I asked my father to have a separate castle built just for the two of us, remember? Something small, one we can live in until it’s time for us to rule. That way, we can go back and forth and spend what time we need to at The Academy finishing our studies and still have a place of our own to come home to. Does that sound acceptable?”
Lizbeth smiled. “That sounds perfect. I love you, Barbarian.”
Adan laughed.
“I love you, too, Lizard.”
Her heart swelled near to bursting. To her way of thinking, those were the most beautiful words Lizbeth had ever heard.
Epilogue
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Adan glanced at his own bride of a short year ago and smiled in wonder. Lizbeth sat at the back of the hall, stroking the downy, soft head of their son and cooing nonsense to him in order to keep Zander quiet and the lightning from striking the castle. She was beautiful. They both were. They were his life. He could watch them forever and never grow tired of the sight.
The clearing of a throat somewhere off to the side brought his attention back to his current duty. Tearing his eyes from his family, Adan gestured for the happy couple to turn and face the crowd.
In a voice that boomed, he exclaimed, “As ruler of the kingdom of Alaria, it is my proud honor and duty to be the first to present to you Leeky and Laycee Shortz, man and wife. May God Draka bless this union.”
Even Tug McGroin, dressed in a tux and acting as best man, and Miss Bunny, in pink chiffon, as the maid of honor, looked happy for the couple.
The hall broke out in cheers, and it didn’t take more than a minute for the wedding reception to commence in full swing. Music blared, and spirits flowed freely.
Then Lark asked the question Lizbeth had been dreading all day. “Okay, you’ve kept us in suspense long enough. Out with it. I’m dying to hear. How on Albrath did you convince my parents to let you paint the walls of this dusty old castle every color of the rainbow, and why did Father step down from his throne? And where is Mother? Has Father locked her away somewhere, finally?”
Lizbeth handed the sleeping infant over to his great-grandmother, Ava, and glanced toward Adan. He held up both hands. “Oh, no, my little Lizard. I’ve been talking all day. It’s your turn.”
Looking at the room full of anxious faces, including the bride and groom, O.T.T. and Karla, Uthiel, and Briar, Sarco, and Lark, Lizbeth felt her cheeks burn. Where to start? She took two deep breaths and blew them out.
“You remember that the king was having a separate castle built just for Adan and I, don’t you?”
Everyone nodded.
“Well, it wasn’t quite finished when time came for us to return to Alaria for Zander’s birth. The Queen, of course, was her typical self, and I was…let’s just say, a little…hormonal at the time. Something simply had to be done so that one of us didn’t kill the other. There really was no choice.”
For a moment, Lark looked concerned, then she laughed. “You two didn’t by chance really lock them away somewhere, did you? It would certainly serve Mother right, if you did…but…”
Lizbeth shook her head, but Adan chuckled. “Oh, Lizard did better than lock them away. Tell them, darling.”
The words tumbled from her lips in a rush. “I enchanted them out of their very own home. And I don’t even regret it. I’m the most horrible of daughter-in-laws. There, I’ve said it.”
Lark did look concerned now. “Just how did you enchant my parents out? They do still exist, don’t they? I mean, my mother may not care for me, but I do still care for her.”
It took a moment for Lark’s words to sink in, but when they did, Lizbeth was horrified. “Oh, no, it’s nothing like that. They’re fine, really they are. They just live in that little castle on the far side of the city your father was having built for us. I guess you could say, we traded residences.”
Lark grinned. “So, what’s the catch? I know my mother, and she wouldn’t have given up her castle, let alone her throne, without a very good reason.”
“It’s the paint,” Adan shouted excitingly.
Not another sound was made as every eye in the room turned and locked on Lizbeth, waiting.
She wrung her hands together and cleared her throat. Looking straight at Sarco Sunwalker, she explained, “It was your uncle who gave me the idea. Arizon presented us with a packet of special powder as a gift. When mixed with something else, anything else, it enchants that product with happy thoughts…forever. Thereby making it impossible to say or do cruel or mean things while in its presence.”
She forced herself to relax her stance. “I hadn’t meant to use it as I did. I’d planed on sprinkling it in the evening’s stew on special occasions. You know, just to have a peaceful meal once in awhile. Perhaps during the Yulemass when the whole family’s home. But…”
Lizbeth took a deep breath as heat wicked up her neck. She hurried to get the words out before she lost her nerve. “Queen Allanna said something particularly nasty about my size not soon after we arrived, and I lost it. I put the magical powder in the paint, all of the powder in all of the paint. Then, I purposely used the paint in every single room of the castle, even the dungeon. Within two days, she couldn’t take it any more. The king turned over his crown to Adan, and they moved out. She hasn’t visited even once since then. Not even to see her grandson. Thankfully, Grandmother Ava decided to stay with us. She’s been a godsend.”
Adan grinned from ear to ear. “We can’t even say mean things to each other. If we want to fight about something, we have to take it outside. And since it’s so blasted cold here, that makes for very short and to the point arguments, with long, sizzling hot make-up sessions.”
Leeky cackled as he wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. “What the worn-out boulder holder on a troll trollop in a too-tight tutu trying ta do a gaggle of limp ogres all at the same time do ya make of that, lads?”
There was a sudden sound of choking from across the room.
O.T.T. frowned at his brother-in-law. “Mind what ya be saying bout trolls, Leeky Shortz, lest ya find yaself at the business end of my…” His last words were never heard as the enchantment in the paint took over.
Instead, he climbed on a chair and wrapped his arm protectively about Camel Toe Karla’s pink tutu-clothed waist and glared.
“Now, O.T.T.,” Laycee said. “Ya know as well as I do, Leeky didn’t mean no disrespect. We’re proud ta have Karla as our sister-in-law. We just want ta have fun.”
The almost bald gnome with the wire-rimmed glasses took another swig of his ale. “Didn’t I ask ya not ta call me O.T.T. anymore, sis? The name’s Thaddeus, and I don’t have just one testicle anymore, I’ve got a pair again.”
He reached up and pulled what looked to be a brown, dried-up, wrinkly object hanging on a strip of leather from inside his tunic. “Got it right here. Karla gave it back ta me as a present at our wedding night. She’d been wearing it herself since the day she bit it off. Kept it right by her heart, she did, ta remember me by. Isn’t that just the most romantic thing ya ever did hear?”
Adan, Uthiel, and Sarco gagged, but Thaddeus Titwilder didn’t seem to notice. He leaned in close and kissed Karla on the tummy. “And I’m living proof all ya need is one functioning testicle ta get the job done. Karla and I want ya all ta be the first ta know that six moons from now we’re gonna have a little trome of our own.”
“Trome?” Lizbeth asked.
Karla smiled shyly. “That’s our pet name for the little bundle of joy. Half troll, half gnome, a trome.”
A bell sounding and another voice, this one coming from the dinning room, saved Lizbeth from having to respond.
“Dinner’s served.”
****
“Chili, seriously? What were you thinking?” Sarco grimaced.
Adan shook his head. “You don’t like chili? It’s what Leeky and Laycee both insisted they wanted served for their wedding dinner. And this is extra special chili. It’s made from Alarian water buffalo. Try it, you’ll like it.”
Sarco sighed. “Gnomes and chili aren’t a good mix.”
Adan’s eyes widened. “Oh, VoT, I forgot.”
Sarco laughed. “Yep, it’s like a drug to them. How could you have forgotten? Remember what happened at their last party?”
Adan gulped. “You’re right.”
Leeky and Laycee finished off their third bowl, burped, farted, and jumped up from their seats.
They both hopped onto the table and began dancing. Before long, Thaddeus and Karla joined them.
The dance soon got out of control, and Adan shook his head, silent, watching.
Leeky snatched Laycee’s blond wig from her head and put it on his own. He stripped off his tunic, tweaked his own nipples, then proceeded to hop down and give Tug a lap dance.
Laycee, not to be out-done, flipped up her skirt, exposing her pasty white bottom. She grabbed a cucumber from the veggie tray and had it on its way to her bare essentials when Lark seized it from her grasp.
Lizbeth clung to Adan’s arm. “You’ve got to do something. Make them stop.”
Adan stood and tapped his spoon against his glass to get the gnome’s attention. It didn’t work.
Leeky dropped his draws and let out a fart so long and loud a green cloud formed in the air above him. “Let’s see ya beat that one, honey tits!”
Laycee beamed. “Ya’ve always been a sweet talker, Leeky Shortz. But I’m gonna win this one.” She lifted her skirt even higher, bent until her head touched her toes, and let it rip.
Leeky came up behind his wife, and they began a bizarre dance. She gyrated in front of him, and he acted as if he were smacking her on the ass.
Then Karla and Thaddeus began disrobing.
Adan’s eyes burned and not just from the smell. He tried to yell for them to stop, but no sound came forth. The paint, it was the damn paint. He grabbed Lizbeth’s hand, motioned to Sarco, Lark, Uthiel, and Briar to follow, and ran for the door. Only one word echoed in the courtyard as Adan drew his first breath of fresh, cold Alarian night air.
“Leeky!”
About the Author
Maxine Mansfield writes erotic-fantasy romances for The Wild Rose Press from the comfort of her home in the far northern state of Alaska, where the summer days are long and the winter nights even longer.
She has one very special man, his three equally special children, and their six delightful grandchildren to keep her busy when not typing away on her next book. Not to mention her very bossy African grey parrot named Gabriel.
The Academy Volume One Page 87