P.O. Box 1207
St. Helena Island, SC 29920
Phone: (843) 838-1171
E-mail: [email protected]
CONVERSATION GUIDE
A CONVERSATION WITH PATTI CALLAHAN HENRY
Q. How did you come to write this book? What were the seeds of inspiration for you?
A. This book began with the inkling of an idea—that who we are in the present is also part of who we were in the past. So, as with most stories, I began with a “What if . . . ?”: What if a woman had built the perfect life, yet along the way had discarded important pieces of her character and denied certain aspects of her past? In doing so, she would have thrown away some good with the bad. What if some part of her past came back into her life? How would she reconcile her past with her present? Meridy’s deepest conviction—to protect her heart—was formed by the grief and guilt arising from a tragic event in her past. She needs to resolve that tragedy, remember who she was, because it is holding her back from becoming fully herself in her marriage, friendships and life in general.
Q. This is your second novel, and the second one you’ve set in the Lowcountry off the coasts of South Carolina and Georgia. Why are you drawn to this area, and what personal significance does it hold for you?
A. I am drawn to this area for its raw, natural, unspoiled beauty. In a world of schedules, cell phones, Internet and material acquisition, the Lowcountry reminds me of true beauty, true calm. It is a place where my spirit seems to rest and my family slows down. On a personal note, my husband and I were engaged to be married in front of the lighthouse on Daufuskie Island. The Lowcountry is a place where my children are free to roam without the constant supervision they must endure in the city. The Lowcountry and city settings are metaphors for Meridy’s two separate lives, with the river dividing them: one life lush, wild and sacred; the other sterile, disconnected and restricted.
Q. The Gullah culture is also integral to the novel, largely through Tulu. Why did you choose to include references to the Gullah culture? Can you share more about what you learned about the culture, or about the proverbs that preface each chapter?
A. The Gullah are descendants of West African slaves who once worked the rice and cotton fields of the Lowcountry. When they were freed, they were offered the chance to purchase their own land. The Gullahs have maintained their traditions and culture longer than any slave descendants in America. The language is a combination of seventeenth- and eighteenth-century English and African dialects. It is a culture rich in heritage, spirituality and history. I was fascinated with the lifestyle and proverbs of these people, who still thrive in the Lowcountry. [Please see resources listed in my Author Note on page 236.] In the Gullah culture, proverbs are called “the palm oil with which words are eaten.” The proverb “If you don’t know where you are going, you should know where you came from” was the seedling for Meridy’s story. Although I did extensive research, I do not in any way claim to be an expert on this culture or to have perfectly portrayed a Gullah woman in Tulu’s character. What I did intend to do was open Meridy’s heart through the memories and lessons of a Gullah woman who knew her well as a child, and also honor a culture I admire and respect.
Q. Tulu seems so vivid and real. Did you know a woman like her while you were growing up?
A. Tulu is a character who remembers Meridy as a child better than she remembers herself. Meridy has sequestered parts of her heart, which can only be revealed to her by someone who understood her and loved her as a child. Tulu draws upon sacred aspects of the Gullah culture to help Meridy accurately recall the past and open her heart again. I did not grow up in the Lowcountry and I never had a housekeeper, but I was lucky enough to have been surrounded by a family who loved me and by a large congregation of people who watched over me. When I was young, there was one family friend—a woman—whom I particularly loved and admired, and because she loved and believed in me without question, I wanted to be a better person. This is the type of woman I wanted Tulu to be for Meridy.
Q. Meridy, her mother and her sister, Sissy, have all tried to be perfect wives for their husbands. In your opinion, is being “perfect” a particularly Southern preoccupation for woman? Do you feel it’s a misplaced goal?
A. I’m not sure if this unreachable goal is particularly Southern, although I do see woman attempting to fit into a perfect mold that tears them apart. It all comes down to appearances. Eventually women believe that if they look good enough, or act good enough, then they are good enough. These women forget their hearts, and the joy of love and family as they dull their emotions with doing instead of being. Image soon becomes more important than relationships. The inherent problem in living out of a false or perfect self is that it must constantly be maintained. I attempt to show the painful results of living this way in both Meridy’s life and her friends’ lives.
Q. Meridy makes her own personal journey back to the past. Do you believe that this type of journey can break or make a marriage?
A. Meridy begins to believe that she left an important and beautiful part of herself behind when she denied her past. She comes to understand that true intimacy requires a heart that is released, free and not pinned down by fear or grief. I do believe that this type of personal journey can make or break a marriage. When a woman has allowed a man to believe that she is only the perfect facade that she has shown him, and then she reveals her true, complete self to him—faults and all—some men cannot accept this very different woman they find themselves married to. I wrote this book wondering if Beau would be the kind of man who could love the whole, authentic Meridy, or only the parts of herself she had allowed him to see. When each partner can love the other’s true self, and not just the masks they wear, then their marriage can be enriched in profound ways.
Q. You published your first novel, Losing the Moon, while writing Where the River Runs. What was that experience like for you?
A. I found the characters in Where the River Runs so fascinating, I was able to speak about and do readings from Losing the Moon while still being absorbed in the Gullah culture, the relationships in Meridy’s life and the beauty of the setting in the new book. The public reaction to Losing the Moon was so positive, the reader input so overwhelming, that I became excited to finish my next book.
Q. What’s next on your writing agenda?
A. I continue to want to write about women’s lives. I love stories that allow the reader to believe that they are part of a larger story, a more beautiful story, which is the journey of life. My next novel will tell about a young woman who is caught up in the small drama of her own life and must learn, through another older woman, that she is part of a larger story of longing, beauty and desire.
CONVERSATION GUIDE
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
1. What are the three events that cause Meridy to return to Seaboro? How does her emotional state make her more open to taking action? Have you ever felt a desperate need for something, and then noticed that events in your life seem to support your desire to act upon that need?
2. What do you think the St. Augustine epigraph “Do you want to be great? Then begin by being” means for Meridy? What is the difference for Meridy between being and doing? For you?
3. Meridy reconnects easily and deeply with Tim Oliver, yet seems disconnected and false with her friends in Atlanta. Why? What do you believe contributes to an honest, connected friendship? Which friends do you feel more connected with, old or new?
4. Meridy comes to a new understanding of her mother during the novel. What is that new understanding and how is it able to improve their relationship? Do you feel you have a better or worse understanding of your mother’s life now, compared to when you were younger?
5. Meridy’s best friend, Cate, has recently divorced Beau’s boss, Harland. How is Meridy’s social circle both ignoring and acknowledging this change? Do you have friends or family members whose divorce has affected your relationship with them?
6. Throughout the novel, Merid
y begins to remember small pieces of “who I was” and even asks her mother, “Aren’t we part of who we were?” Tulu consistently urges Meridy to “remember.” Do you believe we can discard or forget the child or youth we once were? How do you believe your past affects who you are today?
7. Have you ever tried to be perfect for a man or earn his love with a false self? If so, what motivated your desire and how did you alter your behavior? What was the result? Is the desire to be perfect still ingrained in young girls from an early age or has the pressure let up in recent years?
8. Meridy—and her mother—blamed the tragedy that befell Danny partly on Meridy’s own youthful exuberance and irresponsibility. Do you agree that it was partly her fault? If you’re a mother, what challenges do you face in guiding your teenage children through this difficult period? What do you think your parents did right or wrong when you were a teen?
9. Tulu implores Meridy to allow the river of life to reach her heart, saying that the place where the river meets the sea is the most turbulent. Do you believe this is true for Meridy? For you? Can one stop life from reaching the heart?
10. Is there a part of your past that you’ve largely put aside, or buried, because it seems too painful or fruitless to examine? After reading this novel, are you inspired to take a new look at that event?
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