by Poppet
"No."
"Neither do I. Therefore I deduce the obstacles are worth the outcome."
"Who's challenged you?"
"I don't know yet." His eyes flare briefly silver again.
"Start talking demi-god."
He sits up, pulling me with him. I notice we're back in the sarcophagus.
"Turn your heat up," I demand with worry.
"Spider's coming to get you tonight."
"Not funny!"
He chuckles.
"It's not fair that you're so yummy!"
Brown eyebrows arch at me, "Well it's not fair that you're soft and fuckable with piercing blue eyes and hair designed to be played all over my body, but here we are."
"Bloody irresistible prick!"
"Is that an offer? My prick would love some more attention thank you very much."
"Seithe, stop it." Yet my smile couldn't be wider.
"You are smiling Minxy, and that's all I needed to see."
"Good point. Let's use that too. He's never heard you call me that. So if we're alone begin proceedings that way."
His free hand threads my hair through fingers lethargically. "What's your IQ?"
"Stuffed if I know."
"Look darling, if you want a good stuffing all you have to do is ask, I'm happy to oblige."
"It means I haven't a clue."
A wicked grin flirts with me, "I know." A wink follows.
"Seithe ..." I'm having a gushy mushy moment. His ways just pluck my heart strings, creating celestial harmonies.
"Phoebe? ..."
"I really do love you."
I know my eyes are sparkling wetly. I wish the hand I have on his chest could flow the love I'm feeling right into his heart.
Serious eyes survey mine, staying decadent chocolate brown, "I can feel it. I have no Spirit remember."
Pain dew swells on my eyelashes, "I don't love him."
"Remorse is a bitch, isn't she?"
Nodding I agree, too choked up to speak.
Absently playing with my hair he closes his eyes and begins filling in more gaps for me.
"I'm not going to lie to you. Knowing my brother has tasted your Spirit enrages me. I wanted you all to myself, but he seems to have an immaculate sense of timing with you."
I stay silent.
"I do feel the love you infuse into our interaction. That gives me hope that we can get through this both alive and well."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Red eyes turn red by spilling blood, taking life maliciously. It's so easy to feel that kind of rage, and your kind are such easy targets for angelic warriors." He pauses and stares hard at me, "They know I'm attached to you. We have bonded, I answer your calls immediately. They know I would do anything to protect you. But if I get cornered like that I might have to sacrifice my one and only chance for redemption to save you."
Anxiety widens my eyes, "No. Then don't do it."
"Oh Phoebe baby." He catches my nose between his fingers, "You are so naive. Nothing is ever that easy. I will not let them skin you, burn you, suck you dry, separate your Spirit from you, then your soul, before finally giving you death."
"My god Seithe."
"Phoebe, wake up. Angels are in charge of destroying Satans. You have no idea what we're capable of."
"Um ..." Panic is charging through me like an erupting volcano. "How many Satans are there?"
"Oh right. I forget you don't have the full story in your edited versions. Satan was always plural. For some reason the bunch of you have decided to make them singular."
"Are they the red eyes?"
"No red eyes are fallen angels who have chosen to fall farther. They have no hope ever of regaining the light of the Spirit. We are all half-breeds now. But we've been around for so long because we can't die. We have no mercy, death is mercy Phoebe. I know you can't see it that way, but it is."
I collapse against his body again, overwhelmed with ignorance and worry. Snuggling, I pull myself as close as I can, entwining my legs with his.
"I feel safe with you."
"You'd be one messed up broad if you did this with someone you couldn't feel safe with."
"Next.."
"I'm hoping we can avoid this challenge completely."
"How?"
"I can't tell you. It has to happen naturally."
"You're worse than a woman at keeping mysterious secrets."
"Free will Phoebe, that one's the motherfucker. Red eyes are marked. In their red eyes. The stain on their core shows through their eyes. By marking you as the challenge, they either are unhappy you refused immortality, shunning the entire community, or someone's marked you without my knowledge."
"This isn't calming me down."
"So far you've screwed up by trusting your body's data feedback. You trust what your eyes see, what you feel with your hands, what you smell. The only way you will get out of this intact is to let that all go. Heightened awareness through your senses gives you a heads up. But only by trusting this..."
And he places a palm over my navel.
"… This will keep you safe. That never lies. Your umbilical cord was there. And you still have one there direct to Spirit. Don't ignore twinges of nervousness, fear that stirs there is yelling at you. Any sense of unease in this region must not be doubted. I'm urging you to trust your Spirit. The INstinct you were born with."
"Shees, okay ... I will. Calm down."
"Phoebe Martin this is paramount to me. I will not calm down when I'm desperate for you to see the light."
"Fine."
"You will see the light. I'll make damn sure of it."
"And then?"
"Then nothing can ever hurt you again."
"None of this makes any sense."
"When you walk into a room, I expect you to see the entire room in one glance. In that split second what was standing there can disappear. Observation, especially of the peripheral kind, is survival for you right now. I'm going to test you everyday until you're going to want to cut out my tongue and suffocate me with it."
"Bloody hell..."
"I am going to freak you out by forcing you to see like God."
"How is that possible?"
"That's what you don't understand, for a human anything is possible. Phoebe, when you find me in the dark what do you see?"
"Light. I find a light I now associate with you. But it's inside my head. Lurking behind my eyes as if I'm seeing backwards. Okay, now I know I need a padded room and a therapist."
"And when Grastle stood with you?"
"Nothing, just a really really strong vortex of anger."
"That is the difference you need to remember. You are safer being blind than having sight. Why does the blind man see? The blind man sees more than the man with sight, because the blind man sees the soul."
"Parables now too?"
He arches his neck, highlighting his Adam's apple with seductive laughter.
"I quote, The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field, Matthew thirteen."
"For heaven's sake, Seithe."
"You still don't have a clue?"
"No!"
"The mustard seed is your Spirit which has been sown inside of you. Your Spirit is the Kingdom of Heaven. Because God is Spirit. John four. What gives life is God's spirit. John six. Phoebe..."
He covers my heart with his hot palm, "..The Kingdom of Heaven is within you. That is why you are made in God's image. That's why you have the same power. I told you I wanted to show you the Kingdom of Heaven. I only seek to make you see your own Spirit and what it's capable of."
I'm simply floored.
"Oh."
"And you will find it in the dark."
"Great."
"Because it is light!"
"And what does any of this have to do with the predicament we're in?"
"You said please to Jowendrhan, but not to Ellindt. Who gets to order angels, Phoebe? The Spirit of God,
one and the same thing. If you say please, that means whoever you address has a choice. If you order it, you give them no power."
"OH!"
"Creation came about through words spoken. Mantras do work because you create every time you speak. Not that any of you realise it. When you speak to any Vampyre own your power. Don't ask, tell. Unless it's me of course."
"Haha!" I show him the tip of my tongue again. "So what now?"
"Now you face the darkness, and I won't let you out until you see the light."
"I can order you to let me out."
"Wrong, you said you would die for me. Now you have to. It's time for your past to die so you can embrace your future. I have your spoken words to use against you. I'm calling it in. You will die, just so that you can be born unto yourself."
My heart starts hammering, I inhale to speak, when I feel the rush of air surround me. I'm stuck! I'm stuck in a tiny box! IN THE DARK!
Chapter 32: Atoms
Oh god! Please tell me I'm not in a coffin!
"You're not in a coffin."
My heart slows marginally.
"Where are you?"
"On the other side watching you."
"Seithe, what the heck is going on?"
"You are in a wooden box. You can't come out until you tell me what's placed on the floor in front of the box."
I stare at the pure darkness around me. I can see nothing! Holding a trembling hand up, I can't see it or sense it at all. I have no idea even if it's being held in the right place to be seen. I stare at the space in front of me, feeling tentatively with the hand.
"Seithe, how am I supposed to see through wood?"
"Every boundary you perceive is inside your head. It doesn't exist."
"What utter shit!"
"Is it? Science proves me right."
"This isn't funny. And you're spouting utter bollocks!"
"What is matter made up of?"
"Stuff."
"What stuff?"
"Atoms and stuff."
"What's inside an atom?"
"A nucleus."
"And?"
"Who knows!"
"Empty space."
"So?"
"So what you perceive as solid is ninety percent empty space. The wood in front of you is not solid. You only think it is."
Stuff you! I bang my knuckles hard against it.
"Hear that? That's solid dude!"
"It's only solid because you believe it is."
"Whatever."
"What would happen if you choose to believe that ninety percent of it doesn't exist. What then? What if you choose to believe scientific proof. Would you see that wood as an obstacle? Or would it be as non-existent to you as oxygen? Oxygen is as powerful as wood. How you perceive it is the only difference."
"I really hate it when you make sense."
"Time's wasting Phoebe. No sex, no milkshakes, no margarita's, no lasagne, no clothes, no sleep, absolutely nothing until you tell me what's on the other side of that mental boundary called wood."
"Mean arse!"
"Phoebe, for your entire life you have focused on the ten percent of the matter barring your way. You've ignored the ninety percent that isn't in your way. YOU created the obstacle. For me that obstacle does not exist. For you, there shouldn't be an obstacle. Retrain your mind. Change your mind!"
Huffing I fold my arms, feeling hot and cramped. I lean back against my non existent unforgiving shell, and focus on the complete black in front of me.
And I stare. And stare. And stare some more. Nope, it's still there.
"Seithe, this doesn't work!"
"Hold up your hand."
I hold up my hand.
"Hold it in front of you and unfocus."
"What?"
"Look at it out of the corner of your eye, stare at it with your peripheral vision."
I try this.
"Don't blink."
"That's like asking me not to breathe!"
"Phoebe stop resisting so hard!"
A dramatic pissed off sigh escapes my mouth. Clamping my mouth shut angrily I stare to my left, holding my hand up to the right. And stare.
"What do you see?"
It's so weird but there's smoky wisps of light steaming off my fingertips and between my fingers. I blink and it's gone.
"What do you see?"
"Nothing."
"Again!"
"Yes mein herr!" Grumbling, "Fuckenhell.."
I repeat it, and just like before I can see light on my fingers.
"This is freaking me out!"
"What do you see in the dark, Phoebe? What purpose is the dark?"
"Light. Dark exists so that we can understand light."
"Don't doubt your perception. Your eyes aren't lying to you. What do you think God sees in you?"
I roll my eyes, "Light."
"Know the saying It doesn't matter?"
"Yes."
"Think about it Phoebe."
"Oh right! If it doesn't matter, it ceases to exist as matter."
"What do you hear at a funeral?"
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."
"What does that tell you?"
"It doesn't matter."
I hear him laughing smugly. "Good girl!"
"Now what?"
"Keep looking for the light in the dark."
I stare at my fingers, fascinated. The longer I manage to stare without blinking, the further the light extrudes from my hand.
"Enough! Now do that to the wood in front of you."
Sighing, I relax my hand in my lap and stare ahead. Staring. Staring. Blink. Staaaare. Stare. Stare. Nothing.
"I can't do it."
"Can't doesn't exist!"
Frustration exhales out of me in a burst of hot air.
"Phoebe are you familiar with 3D pictures?"
"Yes."
"You are focusing on the wood as if it's a barrier. You should be looking beyond it. Don't focus on the barrier. Allow yourself to think it's not there. Look beyond it the way you would in a 3D picture."
This is demented.
Glaring at the dark I try to focus beyond what I essentially can't see anyway. Stare. Stare. Stare. THERE! Hang on. This is insane. Pinpricks of light keep dotting into my retina.
"I think I'm running out of air in here. I'm seeing stars like I'm stunned."
"Tell me what's on the floor in front of you and you can come out. It's that simple."
"Why don't you go fuck yourself?"
"If you insist, but won't you get a bit lonely?"
Despite my frustration, I smile.
"And that's why I love you!"
"Ah the key to eternal life. Love. Now if only you can find the key to unlock your mind."
Huffing I start again. Staring.
"Do not treat the wood as there. It's ninety percent empty space. Indulge in the pretence that it isn't there at all. Remove the barrier with your mind."
Stare, stare … stare ........ stare ............. stare .... freckles of light show up again.
"What am I seeing?"
"The ninety percent that lets light through."
Desperately fighting the urge to blink I continue to stare ... doing the hand technique along with the look into and beyond thing. And I stare ... almost holding my breath as the light gets brighter in increments.
This isn't possible, but here I am having the exact experience he said I would. Stare ... stare ... come on, nearly there ... come on Phoebe ... look down slowly ... don't lose your focus ... stare ... stare ... fuck this is mad ... in my head I've made the wood vanish ... stare ... pink ... pink...
Triumphant I yell, "ROSE! A pink rose!"
He unlatches the lid and lifts me out, holding me gleefully, presenting me with the rose.
"I knew you could do it."
"Can I have clothes now please?"
My biting sarcasm is overshadowed with my proud smile, graciously accepting the rose. "Wow, this is a first. Flowers from a vampire."
"I am proud of you human female."
"You should be, I've officially lost my mind."
"You simply changed your mind. A woman's prerogative I've heard."
I smile, leaning tiredly against him. "Please tell me that at some point this endless intensity will cease."
His hot breath teases my ear, "I have two things on my mind, your blood, and your Spirit."
"Forget it bozo. You have to woo me with dinner and a drink before you can have either of those."
My neurons are exploding like lightning bolts with the way his hands are kneading into my lower back, his tongue tracing the carotid artery running through my neck.
A thumb awakens my nipple as his breath oozes gently, "A just reward."
I succumb, relaxing heavily into his naked torso, my bare feet fitting neatly inside his, touching, feeling, relishing, absorbing an odd sense of peace presented immaculately as the hottest vampire on earth.
"Seithe?"
"Phoebe?"
I run my own tongue over his nipple in front of me in response to him always teasing me like that before finally asking, "Is it true that vampires can't go in the sun?"
"You ask so many questions, what do I get?"
Allowing my head to loll back I stare up into his magnificent face, the perfect nose, the pouting full lips, the flawless complexion, "Me, you stupid ass."
Chapter 33: Paranoia
Time exists in a vacuum inside Seithe's home. My internal clock can't tell me what day it is, if it's morning or night; without windows and technology my life is suspended in running the gauntlet.
For days he refused to let me through doors until I could tell him what was beyond. I had to recall every aspect of every room in fine detail, right down to how each room smelled. I was forced to identify my food by smell before being allowed to eat.
Walking through rooms with a blindfold on. Pushed to hear sounds on the other side of the house. He was right, I wanted it to stop, but I'm too afraid to try and cut out his tongue, so I resorted to kissing him a lot.
I am paranoid. He has reduced me to a bundle of oversensitive nerve endings. My inner and outer sensory perception is ready for war. I am a fine tuned sensing machine.
And it's with this new body armour that I reengage the outside world. I refuse to take the elevator up to the bloody fourteenth floor, because now every person is a potential vampire. I'm marked, how I don't know. By whom? Fuck knows. But I'm running out of time. Tomorrow is the sixth day and I feel so anxious I can't eat.